Seungri used a warm towel to cool Ji Yong’s fever down.  Adjusting the temperature in the room to the suitable one, tucking Ji Yong into the blanket carefully, when all were done well, Seungri stood up and wanted to leave the room. Suddenly, Ji Yong reached his hand and grabbed Seungri’s hand. Seungri looked back and saw that Ji Yong still closed his eyes, he did that doing by accident. But Seungri didn’t feel weird about it at all, because he knew it so well.

“ Still feeling so insecure about anything. I must say, Ji Ri really takes after you, even this habit.”

Seungri whispered and came to sit on the chair next to Ji Yong’s bed. He didn’t take back his hand, if Ji Yong was conscious, he would do that. However, Seungri thought, just let it be, he also felt a little tired, he will sit there to rest for awhile….

Seungri looked at the window, rain was still falling down nonstop, the sound of raindrops was so loud, that he couldn’t hear anything but it. Seungri searched his pant pocket for cigarette, but then he looked at the ill Ji Yong in the bed, finally, he gave up the desire to smoke. Everytimes he’s near Kwon Ji Yong, he always needs smoking to calm him down. Seungri smirked at him, so funny.

“ I’m from those day would never  expect, one day, the one who smokes everywhere is me and the one that I used to stop from smoking too much, didn’t smoke anymore. Kwon Ji Yong, you tell, so ridiculous, right ?”

That night, wasn’t like normal night. Seungri thought, he also wasn’t like himself anymore.

Maybe because the sound of rain was so loud.

Maybe because Kwon Ji Yong couldn’t hear.

And maybe, because he has seen a so different Kwon Ji Yong.

“ I knew, you will never be mine, Kwon Ji Yong, I knew.

From the first day I met you, I have had hope. And time passed by, I lost hope. I understood a truth for life, love isn’t enough, never enough to move person’s heart.

But I still loved you.

I couldn’t help it. Loving you like swallowing poision, and I, volunteered to drink it.

For three years.

I have stayed beside you, just stay quitely like your shadow. I looked, so many people passed by your life, women, men, came and went and I tried hard, so hard to still there, waiting for a day, ah yes, one day, you turn back and….I’ll smile…

The day that never come.

If the first day I  had come to high school, I wouldn’t have met you.

If I had met you, you wouldn’t have smiled to me.

If , Only if,

Would I have never loved you ?

……Forget it, because nothing can change.”

Seungri turned to look at Ji Yong, his eyes didn’t have any sadness, any anger, any hatred or any love. Just empty, just a souless eyes, the eyes that haved contained all the traumas were caused by time, by people, by the thing called….love…

“ Kwon Ji Yong, why you did all of those thing to me ?

You didn’t need to do that to chase me away, because I had planned to leave you. I really, prepared for my future without you.

The day you found the one for you, I’ll leave. I decide to go back my hometown, lives  with my family and silencely hear about your news, watch over your happiness. Sound so stupid but I thought, it’s the best way for me.

I’ll live, maybe I