Thought # 7.

"When you love someone...

You want them to be safe.
You want to protect their hearts.

Feelings blooming like a flower inside of us.
But like a flower, feelings need to be outside... in the light.

I still don't know if that's good thing..."

The opening night of "SMTOWN Coex Artium" had caused a stir in the media and fans.

By luck and by at least a few days, this would divert attention from the photoshoot, invitations, and that each day that passed was a day less for the wedding.

I sat in one of the closest seats to the entrance of the theater, watching with surprise how many people were here tonight. Beyond in the front rows, the camera flashes highlighted in the big red room. Tonight was important for artists, especially for Key and for those who were part of the musical "School Oz". Being out of sight of the people was relaxing for me, and I stopped questioning whether to come was a good idea or not. I didn't want to have problems with Luna, so I would just concentrated on watching the show and go home with no problems. It was late, but at least i was here now.

Manager Choi Jin sat beside me and smiled gently.

"I'm glad you came, Juliette. The boys are down there. Wouldn't you rather see the show from there?"

I couldn't see myself walking down the stairs with a full room of people.

"No. I'd rather stay. You can go, you don't have to stay."

The manager looked at me, maybe trying to understand my own reasons.

"Okay." He nodded.

SHINee's managers knew what was the real reason behind the marriage, so they were not as insistent as the people who ignored the truth. But before walking away, he put his hands on the armrests of the seat, and stopped before getting up.

"You want me to tell Onew you're here?"

"Uh... It would be better if you don't." My intention was not to inconvenience anyone. I knew it, i could feel it; Luna would hate me even more If she saw me there. "I'll meet with him later."

"Okay," Before getting up, he stopped again and looked at me curiously. "You know something, Juliette? I can not say I understand how difficult this must be because i really don't know, but what I do know, is that Onew is trying. And he's a good boy. You should give it a try too." I looked away; he really was, but i needed to be sure now i wouldn't do things under pressure. "I'm sorry, Juliette..." He was quick to say. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No. No..." I shook my hands to downplay the matter and smiled. "I'm fine, don't worry. Thank you."

He smiled and stood up.

Minutes later when Minho, Taemin and other members and other idols went up to do the official ribbon cutting, I joined the chorus of enthusiastic applause. But as the founder, Lee Sooman, gave some words of welcome and gratefulness to the public, my phone vibrated in the skirt pocket.

Onew's name appeared on the iPhone screen, so I slid the unlock and read.

"Did you get home okay, angel?"

I bit my lip. Maybe I should tell him that i was on my way here when i was.

"Yes, i did. Thanks."

I was not lying, I was just hiding some information.

"What are you doing now?"

"Watching an entertaining program."

"Really? About what?"

This guy asked unimportant things even when his superior was talking.

"It's not that entertaining."

"Can I tell you what I'm seeing?"

"What?"

Onew took a minute to respond.

"There's a girl, and I think she may not notice my presence but I'm sure that's good, so i can admire her; she's a free spirit, I can see the fire in her eyes and I like the way she smiles, because her face lights up like the sun, and I can swear to whoever she fell from the sky."

The words, the sentences, the message was in front of me. Was he talking about a girl... with me?

"Really?" I responded with indifference, if he noticed it or not doesn't matter to me. "That is much more interesting."

"But there is one more thing."

"And what is it?"

"It is mesmerizing the way she pouted when things are annoying for her."

My mind tried to make sense of his words. Was he playing with me? Onew could say things with nonsense, given the name of his twitter. But these words were clear. She fell from the sky. And as if cold water had fallen on me, I shuddered, so, with the embarrassment sprout within me, I closed my eyes tightly.

"You're a very bad liar, Angel." He laughed at my side.

I opened my eyes and avoided looking directly at him.

"You are an excellent one."

"Why?" He said with surprise. "I said nothing that wasn't true."

I felt my cheeks burn with shame.

"Where have you been? And for how long have you been there?"

"You don't want to hear since when I'm here."

I exhaled deeply and my heart fell.

"Listening to private conversations is rude, rude."

Onew chuckled.

"I'm glad you could come, angel." And he brushed my hair behind my ear.

"Yah. That's what I'm talking about..." We heard the voice of Mr. Lee Soo Man, and Onew's hand remained in the air and still close to my face as I looked forward. "Onew is one of my dearest boys, and he knows the love that I have for him, but obviously he couldn't hear what I said about him."

"He was very busy, sir!" Someone in the audience coughed, trying not to laugh.

Onew laughed, while I wanted to hide under any rock.

"And while we are gathered in this special day, I take this opportunity to publicly give my best wishes to the couple. Please give a warm welcome to the future Mrs. Lee and her integration into the family."

The room was filled with applause, and Onew greeted the audience with his hand and a warm smile. I bowed repeatedly in gratitude too, but when Mr. Lee drew attention again, I inhaled deeply.

"Why?" I whispered. "Why if I try to go unnoticed this happens?" I looked at him and pointed. "I blame you."

"Yah. Why me?" He laughed as he placed his hands in the air. "I just tried to be a good boyfriend and stand beside my girl. Perhaps if we were not so far people don't think we're doing something... naughty?" He giggled.

"What?" I said, but then I understood what he meant. "Are we teenagers now? You're old to do those things."

"You are you making fun of my age, angel?" He pretended to be offended. "If my ear can hear clearly, people always talk about you as the future Mrs. Lee."

"Ugh!" I growled as i turned to look ahead. He was right. "How can they say that? I'm going to be 24 years." It was not by age, I didn't want to change my last name, I was very proud of it. "Can I keep my last name after marriage?"

"No way!" He whispered. "We need something that proves you're my wife."

"Great. That's perfect." I crossed my arms on my chest. "The last thing I need is to be someone's property."

"I can also be your property if you want."

I chuckled.

"It's a tempting offer... But I'll think about it."

The theater lights dimmed as the voices did. Following the audience, we seated properly when the musical started. The amazing technology felt that it was real. Despite having a bad first encounter i never was going to deny the immense talent that Luna had; Her voice was the first to get my attention and her performance was incredible. Without noticing because the darkness of the place, I quickly saw Onew, music was something that united them, and i knew perfectly well his admiration for Luna, maybe pride too. At the same time, It was not the first time i saw Key being on stage, and he moved gracefully. People like them had much talent, and whenever I saw them at the moment I was sure they were born to do this. And maybe I couldn't feel the happiness of doing something i love, but I was proud of them.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

Key was happy to see me there at the premiere, and the satisfaction of knowing by me how amazing he had been, he stayed with me wherever i went. That was embarrassing. But that was funny too: the artists asked with fun and curiosity how was living in a house full of men. However, people who knew Onew were not worried that "something" happen with someone of SHINee, but they were worry about my close friendship with Jinwoo. 

Because artists were photographed every place they went, I made sure I stay away from the camera as possible. On the first floor was the store and i walked through clothing racks thinking that Sam and Danny would come when it would be open to the public. This place was beautiful, big and full of modern stuff.

"Do you like this?" A cap landed on my head and I laughed when I recognized the male voice behind me as he laughed.

I put the visor back and turned around. The Baekyeol received me smiling as always.

"Perfect." Chanyeol got up a thumb and nodded approvingly.

"Then I buy it." I chuckled.

"Yah. Where is Onew hyung, Juliette?" Baekhyun looked at me. "Where is your fiance?"

"Future Husband." Chanyeol giggled.

"We are not together all day like you two." I raised my eyebrows. "I'm sorry, I forgot! Our little Baek already has a girlfriend."

Chan burst into a laugh while Baek quickly covered my mouth. But i knew how easy it could be misinterpreted situations in a photo, so i took his hand away.

"We all know it, Bacon. What the fans don't know is that we're friends, so save distance."

"We don't want a love triangle. That would be very bad." Chan nodded seriously. "... especially if I'm not in it. So now we are only JunYeol."

"That sounds good." I laughed.

"You two are horrible." Baek pursed his lips and looked at us with annoyance.

"Yah. Yah. Yah." I recognized Jong's voice behind me. A second later he was stand in front of me as a shield to protect me from anything. "Juliette belongs to SHINee, kids. Onew hyung won't like anything of this." Jonghyun turned to me and shook his head. "You're in trouble."

I rolled my eyes as the Baekyeol laughed.

"Oh no. I'm so scared."

"Well.. We are." Chanyeol said when Joon, one of their managers called them from distance before greet us. "We better go."

"Bye." They said in unison and walked away.

"Am I in trouble, Uncle Jong?" I asked innocently.

"Not if you behave." He crossed his arms and looked at me seriously. "Are you going to behave yourself?"

"I am. Trust me. Now go."

Jonghyun laughed.

"Will not you come with us?"

"I will go in a moment. Now, go." I pushed him playfully and he laughed as he walked away.

"Juliette..." Said a female voice behind me.

Before turning, Amber stood beside me.

"Uh... Hello." I answered foolishly. Should I use the term "unnie" as Krystal did? Besides, I didn't know how she would respond after the problem that Luna and I had. 

"We don't have to be so formal." She giggled. Maybe she was trying to be nice. "Are you having fun, Juliette?"

I blinked in confusion because of her good attitude towards me, but I decided to be myself because if she didn't have a problem with me then everything would be fine between us.

"Yes, thank you. The musical was very entertaining and everyone has been very friendly."

"When Onew Oppa said he had a girlfriend, everyone was surprised and some couldn't believe it." Amber smiled like Jong. "Everyone was very curious to know how his girlfriend was. You know, he's clumsy but has a big heart."

"Yes. I know..." I replied with a sigh.

Apparently the problem Luna and I had only kept between us, but I still had a story that people knew.

"Don't worry, Juliette, everyone likes you very much. Some believe that soon you will have the Onew condition too.”

It was a relief to think they were not talking about the accident.

"Really?" I chuckled. "You think I should risk?"

"You must stay strong." She showed her fist in the air and laughed.

She was very nice, even considering the incident.

"Yah! Where have you been?" Key stood in front of us crossing his arms over his chest.

"You like to bother me. Don't you?" Beside me, Onew squinted at him.

"Hyung, she's my friend too. Don't be selfish." Key growled before smiling at us.

"You are weird..." Amber laughed.

Their friendship was so natural that made me laugh too.

"I think that's normal for them." I joked before walking away when my phone vibrated in my pocket. 

I slid the unlocking and answered.

"Hi, Jinwoo. How are you? How's Sam?"

"Sammy is fine, I left her at home sleeping. Good news, Juls, Professor Kim moved the final project to next week. Shin and Minha will meet us in the library. You can go, right?"

"Of course! I..." I couldn't call Mr. Park, he was at home with his family and i wouldn't ask him to pick me up this late. "Would you pick me up... please?"

Jinwoo chuckled.

"Casually... I'm around."

"Casually."

He chuckled again.

"5 minutes. I'll see you in the back door, Juls."

"Okay. Byeeee."

I returned to the group.

"Where are we going now?" Onew asked smiling.

"Why must you go?" Key pouted.

"I must prepare my final project so I'm meeting with my group, but Jinw... a friend will pick me up."

"Friend..." Key chuckled looking at Onew.

"Friend." I explained to him and looked at Onew too. "Besides, you can't leave, not to mention you don't have a car."

"Those are just details, angel."

"Yes, well... I better get going now. Again, you were excellent, Key." I knew that Key couldn't resist flattery, and the comment made him smile. "It was nice to see you, Amber."

"The same here." She smiled. "Take care."

At the end of goodbye, Onew still had with the same expression. To change that face, i was going to say the word that most seemed to like him me to say.

"Yah. Be a good boyfriend and walk." Surprised, it was easy to push him to walk.

"So... I am your boyfriend, angel?" He asked.

"That's what dad said."

"Funny."

My laugh caught in my throat when Luna and Sully appeared in front of us.

"Are you leaving, unnie?" Sully watched us confused. "Oppa?"

"Juliette has a college project." Onew replied. "I will walk her outside."

"Ah! I understand." She smiled." I hope you had fun, unnie."

"I had, thank you..." Without know what would happen, I ventured to speak to Luna. "Congratulations, Luna, you were amazing."

Like the others, she looked at me confused.

"Why?" She asked suspiciously.

"Because is truth? I don't know. And i'd better leave."

I bowed once and we walked away.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

"It's strange to be here if you're not in detention. Right, Julie?"

Sitting on sofas that formed a square in the middle of the library, I laughed sarcastically and rested my head against Jinwoo's shoulder.

"You're always so funny, Shin."

In the center table they were scattered a few books, the laptops were open with a flat made in a design program. My wristwatch scored 9:30pm, but my eyes were beginning to burn due that i was tired. The project had coincided with the date on which i devoted full time to the company, and the sudden change to the delivery date had achieved all us feel pressured to do a good job in such a short time. No matter the time, we were going to do a good job of successfully completing this last cycle of college. We were so close to finishing this part of our lives, and I could feel the end coming closer every day.

"I don't want to sound negative, but I think we won't get more than what we have today." Minha sighed looking tired. "Good work, team, but I think for now we finished."

"I support that idea completely." Jinwoo said and leaned back comfortably on the sofa. "Should i take you home, Juliette?"

"Well..." Against all insistence, Onew said he would come for me at 10. It was getting annoying that they couldn't be in the same place. But then the basket ball that Shin had in his gym bag caught my attention. "How about a very not friendly basketball game before we go?"

Not being the first time we did it, they smiled.

"You think you can win dressed like that, Juliette?" Shin Laughed.

Working in the company involved formal dress and my skirt and heeled boots proved that.

"Let's try."

The competitive side of everyone had shown up while we took our things to go to the field behind the library. Anticipated the game made me feel like home, remembering the time when i competed against the men being the only girl in my home. The open sky was painted dark gray and it seemed it was going to rain.

"Don't think I'll let you win, Hamilton." Shin moved through the field with the ball in hand. "Neither you, Jung."

Minha, being as delicate as a flower, laughed.

"Give all you have, Park, so that way you will not see so weak when we beat you."

"We will play until the clock strikes 9:55, and the team that wins mocks everything they want of the losing team. Happy?" Jinwoo said, always being the most serene among us as he clapped once. "Now let's play, people."

With a quick movement, Shin dodged Minha when she tried to get the ball from him.

And the game officially began.

Play this way reminded me every game that we had. Since the first times I learned to play as it should, earning several times in the attempt, until my last day in Manhattan when I learned to compete with someone bigger than me. As children we used to say that those games would be a fun story to tell when we were adults.

10 minutes before 22:00 we tied and we walked to the parking lot when small drops of rain began to fall.

"So no one makes fun of anyone?" Shin pouted and looked at Jinwoo. "We were about to win, bro."

"That's what you think." I said.

Sitting in the trunk of Jinwoo's car, I showed him my tongue as a child as he did it.

"We're leaving now." Minha said goodbye and got in at Shin's car. "See you tomorrow. Take care."

"Have a good night you two." Shin said, getting into the car too.

Jinwoo and I said goodbye until the car disappeared. Once alone, he sat next to me, his legs dangling from the edge. I leaned against the window. The night was so quiet and so silent, and it made me think carefully about who was my best friend: when he wasn't busy working in his father's company, playing sports with Shin, or being part of the audiovisual team of the college without anyone knowing, Jo Jinwoo was only a 24 years old young man with the same life as me.

"During the time we were apart, I missed you so much." Even looking at the sky, i didn't need to see him in the eyes to know how he felt as he talked, because i was able to recognize the emotions in his voice.

"I missed you too... but we will not being so sentimental or anything."

He chuckled. I chuckled too and moved to the edge of the truck so that the raindrops in my hair stopped falling on my coat.

"Let me help you." Jinwoo leaned back and pulled his gym bag to get a hand towel to dry my hair moving it in little circles.

"Thanks." I jumped out of the truck as he began to do the same with his hair.

Under the edge of the roof of the parking lot, I let my hand felt the cold rain. I didn't like it anymore, but I couln't help but want to feel it. Turning around, I chuckled when i saw Jinwoo's hair going in all directions.

"You should see your hair."

"Yours is not better, Juls."

I brought my hands to my hair for review but it was fine. Seizing the moment, Jinwoo pressed two fingers in my belly making me laugh foolishly.

"Stop." I said, trying to protect myself with my hands. 

"Are you going to say that you lost the game?"

"Never!"

"Then I won't stop."

I backed up a step ready to tell him to stop, and then i saw Onew, a few steps from us, his glance stopped us completely.

"Don't ever do that again." Onew came to us, took my wrist and stood in front of me. His sudden posture took me by surprise.

"What?" Jinwoo got up and frowned. "We were just playing."

"Really? I don't think it's right to play that way with someone who is about to get married. You know the problem that might cause if people see how close you are?"

Jinwoo laughed sarcastically.

"Problems for her or inconvenience to you." He raised his eyebrows; and it was the first time I saw him acting like that. "Are you afraid that she realize that she prefer to be with me?"

"What are you doing?" I put myself in front of them. "You should be nice with each other because you are going to see each other very often."

"I am not the insecure one." Jinwoo said, staring at Onew. "If he doesn't trust in our friendship he shouldn't marry you."

"Are you kidding?" Onew smiled unfunny. "Didn't you know? She is going to marry me."

"Then why you are so jealous, Onew?" Jinwoo laughed,  but the position he had taken had left me speechless too.

What happened with the two loving boys they were?

"I'm not jealous of you. The only thing i hate is that you approach her that way being just a friend."

"You..." Jinwoo stepped forward with his hand made a fist.

"Jinwoo..." I put a hand on his chest, and he stopped just hearing my voice. "Please don't do this..." Then I looked at Onew. "Just stop. Why are you acting like this?"

Onew look at me and his eyes always reflect what I felt, but I saw something that I could not be sure about. Sadness?

"It's okay, Juliette, I think it would be better if you understand why we're doing this. Onew knows. But I want to make something clear..." Jinwoo looked silently at Onew for a few seconds. His eyes reflected the same feeling of sadness. "It is you who are making an issue of this. We were fine as friends..." His chest fell when he sighed deeply. He looked at me, and my heart raced at a different pace. "I... I've been in love with you. I'm in love with you. I have been in love with you for years... but I can't say I'm sorry."

There were right words to answer that? Since when? How this happened? Why would he be in love with someone like me?

"I understand, Jinwoo, and i'm sorry..." Onew sighed. "But Juliette belongs with me."

I didn't know how to answer that neither.

"If you're so sure about that, at least you should trust her." Jinwoo stepped back. "I'm sorry, Juliette. This is my fault too, I never wanted you to be in this situation."

After closing the trunk, Jinwoo got into his car and left. 

Suddenly, I was afraid that he would leave me too.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

I had not said a word since we left college until we reached the dorm, walking down the hall under a heavy silence. I was in a position between being selfish and ask Jinwoo to talk to me or let him have his own space. Jinwoo had lived to protect me and my feelings, and I had been unknowingly hurting his. It made me feel sad and hurt, and it hurt me thinking he was hurt because of me. He always was such a wonderful friend and I always wanted protect him, but i didn't know I was the one who was hurting him. It was my fault... or it felt that way, because I couldn't see his true feelings, although it was easy for him to read mine.

"Are you okay, Juliette?" Onew took my wrist before entering the apartment.

I felt a lump in my throat, and I felt so helpless that it made me feel anxious.

"No. How would you feel in my place?" I replied. I was afraid this would break our friendship. "Couldn't you just leave it that way? You both had to push the situation like that?"

"It wasn't good for you to live ignoring that. Feelings are not made to be hidden." Onew sighed. "You shouldn't see him for a while."

"What?" I said in terror, shaking my head. "No. Why?"

"Do you think it would be good for you to be with the person you love but can't love you back?"

My hand stopped at the door handle, but maybe this happened by their insecurity and the need to claim to someone.

"I don't know what you're talking about. He's my friend and I won't leave him."

"Juliette..."

There was no need for Onew to act that way, Jinwoo and I were not doing anything wrong, but Onew acted as if I really belonged to him.

"Then why do you try to continue this marriage when you know i don't feel anything for you?"

I bit my tongue after saying that, at the end of the day, I was like them; I spoke with the intention of hurting, and i was hurt too.

And I went into the apartment.

"If she will be your wife, you better learn to take care of her."

"Why do you run to him if something happens?"

"We don't want a love triangle." Ironic.

"Friend." Key had laughed.

I walked inside the room and closed the door quietly, I walked to the bed and I lay down there, looking at the ceiling as if was the open sky. Our friendship was a bond between us, but if Jinwoo no longer looked at it like that... What would be the bond that will keep us together now?

Hi.
The chapter is done and as always i hope you like it. 

¡Bye Bye!