Thought # 3.

"Sometimes the changes we make in our lifes could make us happier or not.

But changes mean try new things, it means a new beginning. 

And the only thing we can do is be braves while we wait for the results."

With a cut in the corner of my lip burning and throbbing painfully, and with a cotton filled with alcohol against it, I kept thinking that maybe i had a knack for getting myself into troubles. Hours, dad was gone only a few hours ago and i had gotten into another problem which wasn't caused by me. Sitting on a chair at the desk of the principal's office, i began to believe that maybe he thought i was trying to break a record or something like that. People might think I was doing this on purpose, "Because I had it all and I didn't know what to do with my life" as if it were a habit common to me to looking for trouble, as if I were the one who lit the fuse of the problem. The misconception people had about me was like a big gray cloud covering my true self. I wanted to tell the principal the truth when he asked, but there was something that was stopping me. He was about to ask me again if i wanted to say something to defense myself, but someone knocked at the door before he could speak.

"Come in." The principal said. Onew opened the door and he walked into the room bowing politely, giving to the principal a friendly smile "Onew-ssi, sit, please."

Onew sat in the chair next to me, just as we crossed glances. He looked at me surprised, as if it were the first time he saw a cut.

"What happened to your face?" His fingers caught my chin softly.  "Are you okay, angel?"

"Yes. I am." I pulled away. 

"Well..." The principal said. "We are here today to discuss the fight between Juliette and Hyorin."

It was a fight because Hyorin started, but it was I who received the worst punishment to be here as if she had really hurt herself.

"And why the other girl is not here?" Onew asked confused.

The principal looked at me, nodding his head indicating i should answer that.

"It is not my fault that she could not bear a punch, and just gave her one." I replied casually, as if doing so i won.

"Juliette!" Onew complained, with a totally surprised expression.

"Hyorin's father demanded to expel Juliette, but Jinwoo said Hyorin started it. Even so, we must suspend Juliette if she no apologies. Aggression is not permitted, also she doesn't want to say the reason why happened in the first place." 

The principal laced his fingers on the table, futilely awaiting a response i wouldn't give even if it saved me. Onew looked at me too, joining eyebrows waiting for me to say something. I knew that was my fault for responding to her provocations, but even if i could save myself, i wasn't going to say that she pushed me first. But the real problem was that she talked about my brother, and then about my engagement with Onew. I shrugged and the principal sighed deeply, looking at me with a sad expression. He was one of the few people who saw my true self, behind my habit of fixing my problems alone.

"That doesn't help, Juliette, i know you're a good girl, but..."

"I could apologize to her." Onew interrupted the clear and obvious words that the principal was about to say.

The principal smiled, pleased that Onew would do for me, and he sighed with an abrupt change of mood. Positive to my luck.

"As a result of this situation, Juliette, you will have to help the drama club after classes until I say so. They need help and you are going to offer it. Right?"

He looked at me with a friendly smile.

"Yes, sir."

It was the best i could get, considering i wouldn't apologize.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

After the unfortunate encounter between Hyorin and I, it was time to meet Onew's members with a cut in my lip and a sore ankle after that push she gave me. That was going to be a great first impresion. With a painful ankle, I managed getting out of the car holding the box with books i had brought from home, and right at the top was Levy, my bulldog stuffed dog. Pretending it didn't hurt every time my foot touched the ground, we walked through the basement parking of the building, where we stopped at the elevator.

"Are you going to let me help you at some point?"

I fixed the box in my hands as we waited.

"Thanks. I can."

With just a few days since we meet, I didn't expect him to change his mind about marriage. There were still some weeks to go, and every day was an opportunity for Onew to notice that the wedding was a mistake. I had to be strong, just thinking about living a life as I experienced last month was something i preferred to avoid. "Problems" was what i had gotten since I arrived to Seoul. The idea of being the center of attention didn't fit in my head. I could see it; encounters with some fans and their excessive love for his idol, photographs wherever I go, misunderstanding with some friends of mine.

"I have strong arms." He said, playing funny, still walking behind me. "You want to see them, angel?"

I giggled at the innocence in his voice, but I should accept that something was happening inside me when he called me angel. There was something about him that I could not deny even if I wanted to, maybe it was the fact of being ridiculously cute. 

"Okay." I turned to him put the box in his arms.

"That wasn't so hard. Right?" He cocked his head, placing the box under his left arm. "Now... can you let me help you with the other situation?"

Maybe i had not pretended too well.

"I'm fine. Really."

I tried to step back on the ankle by placing the weight of my body. I didn't flinched in pain, instead, I ended up holding onto his shoulder as he put his free arm around my waist; he pulled me to his chest, holding me almost completely. I looked up, meeting with his eyes, his warm breath hit me in the face. However, the elevator dinged and i jumped out of his arm when it opened. I managed to stand just when a young, small girl, come out hugging Onew.

"Oppa, where were you? The boys said you didn't respond the phone. Are you Okay?"

Brown hair, small, and with a look of genuine concern. Maybe the Lunew thing was real.

"Luna..." Victoria scolded her when she saw that Onew was not alone and she smiled at me. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Juliette! Onew talks a lot about you."

Confused by Luna's attitude and the smiles of the girls, and although i had a cut on my lip, I bowed.

"It's nice to meet you too." I smiled politely at the girls.

And they did it too. But Luna's expression made me wonder if we would have a problem in the future.

"Nice to meet you, unnie." Krystal smiled, speaking in English. "I'm from San Francisco. And you?"

Her fresh attitude made me smile.

"Manhattan."

"Unnie..." Sully smiled, talking again in korean. "Onew oppa talks a lot about you. I'm glad you are finally together."

"I am glad too." Onew giggled as he called the elevator. "I'm sorry, girls, but my little angel must be exhausted, so I'd like her to rest. But she will go with us to the rehearsal. Take care, girls."

And we entered the elevator.

Krystal waved her hand like the others, all smiling before the elevator closed, except Luna, and she had that same look of suspicion that gave me just a few minutes ago. Definitely I could not please everyone; there were people who were in favor about this, strangers who wished me the best, and others, they were just like Luna. 

Then, the doors closed completely.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

For some reason i was curious to Onew's behavior when he wasn't watched by hundreds of people. But no mattered if they were in a variety show or at a concert, or simply buying snacks at the small shop behind his dorm; when the cameras were off and returned to the comfort of their home, idols became normal kids. Although deep and although people sometimes forget it, they are normal people. They're just young people with a great and amazing talent for music.

Still, it was strange to think how nervous I was before I met s, just because they were the second family of Onew. It seemed important to give those who lived with him a good impresion, but that was easier than I ever thought.

"Jagi~!"

Pretending I haven't heard that, I went to look at the shelves of candies. He said that word as if he were singing.

"Jagiya~!"

The owner was a nice old woman and she laughed softly to hear what Onew was doing to catch my attention.

"Yes?" I looked up, watching him standing on the other side of the shelf. "What?"

He glanced at the owner and then leaned over to whisper me something, pouting on the way.

"Yah. You should have a nice nickname for me too. Because of these short answers they will discover us."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows in mock surprise, and I leaned too. "Have you not thought that's what I want?"

Clearly i didn't want that, the consequences would all in my direction if that happened. But Onew didn't pout, and instead, he smiled.

"I take that back, angel. We just convince the owner that we are a real couple. But I think a kiss would convince her forever."

I tried not to look surprised but i was, but joking or not, I wouldn't lose this game.

"She'll has to wait for the wedding." I wrinkled my nose, it was a habit i had to be sarcastic. But realizing what I said, I headed for the drinks across the store.

I couldn't believe i said that.

"She has to wait for the wedding?" He asked behind me. I growled quietly as i took cans of soda for the boys: I had to think before speak. "Are we going to get married, angel?"

"Not if you can help it." I chuckled changing the expression, because everything depended on him. I put the cans in the basket that Onew was holding. "What do you like?"

"I like what you like, Jagiya."

"That is not an answer, but... " I put more cans inside. "Coca - Cola will be. Now let's pay." But still smiling, he didn't move. "What now?"

"You have not answered me, angel."

Have two nicknames didn't let me think clearly.

"Yes... i think we are going to get married." I replied quickly, hoping to change the subject.

"No." He shook his head as a child. "I'm talking about have nickname for me. Why don't we start with something simple? You can call me oppa. Onew oppa ~!"

"What?" I chuckled. "I'm not Korean, that's unusual for me."

"Of course not, angel. I think that would hear cute coming from you. Try it."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Jagiya ~!" He cried like a baby.

This conversation had attracted the attention of other people in the store. I needed to escape before more ashamed.

"I'll try later, okay? When nobody sees us." I got behind him and began to push him. "Now let's pay."

If talk like a couple attracted attention, act like one did it more. We stopped at the counter, with the big smile from the owner that showed that she had heard us.

"Best wishes to you." She said as she handed us the bags.

Her warm smile made me think she had a great marriage. After thanking her, we left the store.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

After the time watching movies ended, it was dark and kind of late. Not knowing what to do or what to say, I decided to move the way they lived. Besides, a day without university or without checking on the company, and only watching TV was something that i was not going to complain. Although occasionally and while watching a program, the boys took the opportunity to ask questions about myself, and sometimes about our future marriage.

"So..." Onew looked at me. "Are we going practicing calling me oppa, angel?"

I almost choked with chocolate cookie in my mouth.

"Yah. Don't push me. I said I'd try. Jinwoo never forced me to call him oppa."

His smile dropped altogether; and with that I knew Onew didn't seem to like me to talk about Jinwoo.

"You had to mention that." He put a cookie to his mouth in annoyance. Even when he was angry, he seemed to act like a child.

"Yah! Are you, couple, having an argument?" Jonghyun laughed from the couch. Making others laugh too.

I knew that to live with boys, i had to ignore the jokes.

"We are not." I replied.

"You are not discussing or are not a couple?" Minho smiled, sitting on the floor. "I'm confused."

"You're getting married in a month. Why don't you say something cute to each other like my love or baby?" Jonghyun laughed.

"Don't be silly..." Key hit him in the head with his fist. "They should say something like my heaven, or my life."

I watched them as they looked seriously a few seconds, but then they laughed, and began to act like a couple saying nice things. Minho looked at them without an expression while Taemin looked fun.

"Is the Jongkey real?" I asked.

"No!" They shouted.

"That's what they said." Onew laughed, like Minho and Taemin.

"They say no." Minho smiled at me. "But we're not sure."

I chuckled.

"Well, well, we should go to sleep." Key stood up and stretched his arms above his head.

"Hyung, I still want to spend time with noona." Taemin said, still sitting on the floor next to me.

"We still have much time left, Minnie." Key answered. "Juliette must be tired."

"Why don't you invite her to sleep in your room, Minnie?" Minho chuckled watching Jonghyun's and Onew's expressions.

"Yah!" Onew and Jonghyun looked at him surprised.

"Nobody is going to sleep with anyone." Onew shook his head, he stood up and extended a hand to me. "Not while i live. Come on, angel, i will show you our... I mean the bedroom."

He helped me to get up while others saw the scene.

"Get some rest, Juliette." Minho smiled. "I promise it will be fun to be here."

"Sleep well." Jonghyun said.

"Good night, noona." Taemin said.

"I'm glad you're here." Key added. "It is nice to have a girl in the dorm. Have a good night and welcome to our family." 

I smiled.

"Thank you all. Good night everyone."

As we walked silently down the hall to his room, an uncomfortable question popped into my mind. But no matter the answer, it was not going to happen. The first thing I thought when I entered his room was that it was warm and comfortable. All the bedroom walls were painted colored melon. I toured the place with my glance; there was a closet against the wall to my right, the bed was in the middle and there was the suitcase i had brought, then there was his desk and my box of books, and a window on the left wall let in the moonlight through the curtain. I tilted my head when I saw the pile of stuffed animals in the corner, where a chicken leg stood between them.

"Come here." Onew took the sleeve of my sweater and walked towards the mountain of stuffed animals.

"They are all adorables." I took one that was shaped like a rabbit.

"They have much meaning. And all are special."

"That's nice. Really, you treasuring this." I took a different one, this was a Siberian stuffed dog.

"Each gift always came with words of love and encouragement, so I really appreciate them."

"I guess your favorite is the chicken leg."

Onew laughed.

"Am I that obvious?" He took it in his arms and pressed it against his chest. "You can have that if you want, that way Levy will have a friend."

"Thanks, Onew." I got up, wanting to have more time to ask if we were going to share the room. Although that would never happen.

"Well..." He got up too. "Tomorrow start a new day in your new home." I didn't see it coming, but Onew pressed his lips to my forehead. "Good night, angel."

And with that eye smile, he left the room, closing the door behind him. I sat in the bed and watched a blank spot in the window; he said your new home. Perhaps Onew was no different to how he show himself in cameras, but that didn't explain why he was so willing to marry someone he didn't love, someone he didn't know. But what if I should just make it easy and stop going against this? With that question I changed my clothes to a shirt and a plaid pants.

But then my phone rang. It was a text from my brother.

>In the airport, a shy girl she noticed the excitement of the fans; they were holding their welcome signs for "SHINee". She saw how they held hands and began to take photos when they appeared, as bright as ever. The girl next to her joined the chorus calling their names, and she smiled, her shyness had prevented her to say something. But she looked forward when all was silent, she looked around, shrugging shame when she noticed that everyone was looking at her. What had she done? ... Then her eyes met his, and she gasped.
Onew was staring at her.<

When I finished reading the story, I had some mixed feelings inside me. Maybe i was happy that my brother wrote a second time a story about me, even if this was just a joke. Being a famous writer, Jason wasted no time and always had an idea in his head to develop. Although I didn't enjoy him to use my current situation to write, especially if that story was contrary to the real one.

I dialed his number, and he answered on the first ring.

"So what do you say, baby?" He giggled. "Do I have your approval?"

I shook my head, unable to believe my brother really was 30 years old.

"You're lucky to be my brother, Jason, if you weren't i wouldn't deprive myself to give you my real opinion."

"Does that mean you didn't like it?" He sighed theatrically. "Baby, that breaks my heart. I tried hard, you know? Besides, Joshua loved it."

"That's because he is 8 months old, and everything you do or say seems fun to him. And I'm sure he will be smarter than you when he grow up. He won't joke of his sister if something  like this happens to her, or if he has a sister, of course."

"I like that idea, baby, I'll talk to his mother for planning a niece for you."

I laughed, I missed these conversations, and although Jason had promised that it would not change, it was not the same doing it by phone.

I hung up a few minutes later and got inside the blanket, rolling over the bed for hours.

My family was there, and I was here.

I tried to sleep... but i couldn't.

12:50 am.

1:29 a.m.

I got up from bed, thinking if it was okay to walk out of the room so late. I put my ugg boots and I walked to the door, and i opened it with a soft pull, looking that the lights were off. I kept walking without making any noise, like a cat in the night, untill I stopped in the kitchen door because Onew was there, sitting next to the table with a glass of milk in his hand.

"You can't sleep either?" He smiled slighty. "You can sit if you want to, angel."

I nodded.

The kitchen clock kept going at the pace of Tick - tack.

From the room, i could hear the bustle of nightlife in Seoul that never stopped.

The glass of milk on the table made a soft noise when Onew pushed it toward me.

"I still remember the first time I moved." He said when I took the glass, as he watched a point on the table. "I was very nervous and scared, i didn't want to leave my home or my parents. The first night I couldn't sleep..." Then he looked at me kindly. "Neither the night after that. But when I began to share my fears with my members, I realized I was not the only one that kept those insecurities. What is new is always something that intimidates us, but when you have someone who supports you, you know it's not something hard to beat. I hope you can see me as that person, angel. And we can do this until you feel this place like your home. Until you feel part of the SHINee family.​"

I nodded softly and i gave him back the glass of milk.

Maybe the night had created a private moment between us, maybe it was because i just moved in here, but with people like him and like them; live in SHINee's apartment didn't seem like a bad idea to me.

Hi, guys ^-^
This is the fourth chapter. 
Hope you enjoy it.

I just don't have words to describe how i feel inside with this comeback. 

View is such amazing song and I just can't stop listening to it.
And I just wanna say I feel really proud of them.

SHINee deserve all the love we can give them.

Bye -Bye!