Thought # 17.

"Situations make us see things differently.

People make us see things differently.

There is always something or someone that manages to change our perspective.

From here or far away, suddenly everything becomes a beautiful view."

Sunlight illuminated the room through the large windows and made it bright and very warm. The sheets felt warm against my skin. The window frames framed a picture of the beach out there, and I could only see it if i get up on my elbows. The waves made a beautiful sound and it could be heard clearly and gave a relaxing feeling to the room. Everything was beautiful in Thailand; beaches, landscapes, streets, food, people.

Jinki continued sleeping with his chest against my back, his arm as my pillow, his breath against my hair, and at this time there was no barrier between our bodies. Our lips met again as our hearts when our bodies pressed against each other. While he slept, his leg moved against mine. My legs were attached to his hips trying to control the new feeling to feel him inside me, feeling that emerged from us by calling our names to feel skin against skin. Jinki held me against his chest and hid his face against my neck. I closed my eyes concentrating on the sensations that led me his lips on my shoulder, while his hands caressed my . My hands gripped his hair. Straddling him, I felt our bodies move to the rhythm of our breathing. Jinki sighed in his sleep and his hand rested on my waist. He gripped his hands tighter around my waist, keeping me as close as he could, breathing tightly against my neck. When our eyes met again, we could see a glow in them. The heat emanating from our bodies made our cheeks tinged with pink, and we were covered with a thin layer of sweat. We hold strongly to each other when the ecstasy took us to its highest point, bringing some gasps and tired smiles. Our bodies recognized each other, and now in body and soul, we belonged to each other.

"Good morning, angel." He hugged me and his arm came up to my chest. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. And you?"

"Very well." He breathed against my neck. "It's a good day to stay in bed all day, right?"

Heavy breathing, lips together, hands touching everywhere.

"Yes, that would be great." I took his hand that i used as a pillow and laced our fingers. "But you have a photoshoot."

He whined.

"Can I say that I'm sick?"

"Hey..." I laughed. "That excuse is used when you don't want to go to school."

"I don't want to go anywhere if you're here with me, angel."

And he squeezed my hand.

On a night i had faced the fears i had lived with for years, and now I had an open door that invited me to have a new life with him. I had found a new family, and now had an opportunity and a new perspective on life. Now i knew that everything happens for a reason. That night i also decided to break all connection with my mother, because although it was painful to accept, she would not love me back. She took the plane that took away that old chapter of my life. And now what I most wanted was to start from scratch. Start building again everything that had collapsed after the accident.

"Leave your past behind and start a new life here with me, angel."

That day at the airport... that was all.

"I... I came here because I wanted to try to tell you that i'm not a bad person, Jill, even if you don't believe me. Maybe tell you that despite everything i wish the best for you. But now I see no need for it. Here I learned that we shouldn't just use our eyes to see a person. So I just hope you have a good life, Jill. Take care."

"I still wonder how we got into this situation. But I don't know if..." Jill hesitated. "Jinki made me understand what I was doing wrong. Please tell him he's a good boy, and I'm sure that if he confronted me to protect you, he will always protect you. At least now I know that arrange the marriage for you was a good idea. It was good for him... but it was better for you."

Let go every bad memory, every bad word spoken, every bad look, every bad feeling. Let them go forever. And she was gone.

Zero. Start again.

"You'd better wake up now."

"I don't want to. Call the manager and tell him I feel bad."

"Come on. Don't be lazy or they'll think that your incomplete schedule is my fault."

"It's not your fault, but you're the reason I don't want to go."

The heavenly place was an invitation to relax and enjoy it, but he had a schedule to keep. Still, we could enjoy the view while working.

"While that's cute... you have to go."

Jinki whined and removed his arm from my waist.

I sat on the bed and took the t-shirt under the pillow. But before putting it i felt his hand slip down my back in a smooth motion. The warmth of his fingers on my bare skin shook my heart, and i grabbed the t-shirt against my chest. The accident had left some marks on my body; like that small scar under my ear. Small ones. But they were there.

"You're beautiful, angel." Jinki sat behind me and left a kiss on my shoulder. His hand moved to my waist and his fingers stopped at my tattoo on my waist. Jinki had discovered it that night. A beautiful baby owl on a tree branch. I suddenly felt shy and he laughed softly against my skin. "We're going to take a shower, and then we will find the boys for breakfast, okay?"

I sighed deeply and nodded.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

There was a cabin on a hill near the beach, and it was all like a dream. The walls and hardwood floors made the rooms so bright, and the roof made of straw made us felt the heat of the sun. The front door was open and from the balcony i could smell the salty sea, white sand everywhere and crystalline water that moved it quietly. With a beautiful blue, the sky and the sea on the horizon seemed endless.

The beautiful view and the landscape completely combined with the bohemian style that the company had chosen for the photoshoot. And the wind gently rocked the white t-shirt that Sam had created; the neck had lace details, the back was longer and fell in waves, shorts jean ripped, i had a bracelet on one of my bare feet, and a crown made of flowers in my hair.

"What do you think about this?" Sam stopped at the railing beside me and rested her elbows on it.

"I think this is somewhat confusing, Sammy." I looked over my shoulder, but fortunately in the room were just the staff guys putting together the set, so i took a step toward her. "Isn't it strange that the company do this?"

Sam was confused for a moment.

"I was talking about the clothes." She laughed and i giggled.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Nah! It's okay. But don't worry about those things, Julie. You are not the first marriage in the company. And perhaps what the company wants is to show that the wives are also part of the family... or maybe it's just part of some strategy. But nothing like that matters, so just enjoy the moment. Jinki is happy to do this again with you, and don't make me talk about the boys. Just take it easy and have fun. Okay?"

"I think you are right."

"And when i not?" She tossed her hair back with one hand.

That made me laugh and Sam laughed too.

"I would like to say that everyone agrees with your marriage, Julie, but as there are people who don't approve it, there are many people who do it. And these people loved the first photoshoot. Their coments were amazing. Didn't you see them?"

"No."

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want to see them?"

It was enough to know that there were people who were on my side.

"No. I believe in you so it's okay."

"Well... I'm glad you're more relaxed after that." She turned and leaned against the railing. "Oh! I will go first."

She walked away and i watched her as Jinki walked toward me. He stopped beside me and smiled.

"Are you nervous?"

"A bit. I'm normally used to being behind the camera."

"Well... I think you look beautiful in front of it too."

I smiled shyly like in the morning, Jinki smirked and looked at the landscape before him.

"It's so beautiful it doesn't seem real, don't you think?" I asked.

"Not as beautiful as you, angel."

"Yah... stop that." I laughed with embarrassment and pushed him playfully. "What about those phrases?"

"Don't lie. I know you like my cutesy phrases." He took my hands and pulled me toward him. "Your cheeks turn pink when I say things like that."

"That's because nobody has told me things like that... not as often."

"Yah! Do you do that to annoy me? Who dared to say these things to my wife?"

"My brother, my grandfather, Ryan... Ethan."

"I don’t like that."

And i laughed again.

…

After the first photoshoot, Daehyun had been hired by the company and became one of the photographers of SHINee. It was a college professor who offered me a job as an assistant in the photographic business of his brother. And just like that I had gotten a good friend and a great colleague for the year i worked there.

But the condition was that my name doesn't come out in the magazines.

Without recognition.

Only experience gained.

"Okay, Juliette. I need you to sit with Minho and Jonghyun on the floor." He smiled the with camera in hand. We sat down against the wall in the empty room and the staff members sprinkled flower petals around us. Then, they dropped more petals on us. "Ready?"

"Yes." We said simultaneously.

"Be careful, Jong." Jinki said.

Everyone laughed but no Jong.

"Why don't you warn to Minho too?!"

Dae laughed.

"Okay, guys, let's start."

Jong bit the petal and Minho gave a serious look at the camera. It was not fair, they were professionals. Dae gave indication that they did them to perfection. But I had already experienced this feeling, i knew this feeling, and all I had to do was keep up with them and act my way to look natural. I stretched out a leg and bend the other to put an elbow on knee, chin on my hand and smiled at the camera. Then i bend my knees over each other and I pulled my hair back with one hand.

"Excellent, guys. Minho, please put your head on Juliette's shoulder. Jong, lay your head on Juliette's lap."

Sammy laughed and Minho of Jong's expression.

He did it.

Minho left some petals fall gently on us.

Minho was like an older brother.

And Jong made me feel part of the family.

…

There was a full length mirror in the next room. Key wore a suit jacket, jean trousers torn, and his hair was perfectly combed back. Tae had white pants and a leather jacket. For this session Sammy had made a black top and a white skirt with layers that fell to the ground. Luckily the skirt was covering the tattoo. Jinki stood beside me in the mirror, our eyes met and he smiled. He said nothing, so i moved from left to right to move the skirt.

And he laughed.

"I like it." He said.

"I know you do."

When we were ready to start, Key pushed Jinki.

"It is not your turn yet." Key said.

Dae asked me to stand in front of the mirror with a lipstick in my hand, Tae sit on the floor, and Key sit on the desk.

A y concept.

I applied the lipstick on my lips softly as i tried to take the concept as best i could. I had never tried to be it; maybe with the dress i wore at the party's manager. But although i has not told anyone, i felt i could be it if i wanted.

All that was about self-confidence.

"Change places, guys."

Key moved to the mirror, i put the glasses ray-band that the staff gave me and Tae took his tie.

…

"Let's go play in the pool, angel."

Jinki stopped next to me on the edge of the pool while i was still sitting. My feet touched the top of the pool; the water felt refreshing, and the heat in my skin felt nice.

"Play? We are not children."

He squatted.

"Don't you want to play with me?"

"Of course I do." I laughed and stood up. The tail of the dress fell into the water.

Jinki was wearing a black tank top and plaid shorts. And his arms flexed as he rose.

"Are you looking at my body, angel?" He smiled mischievously.

My eyes went from his arms to his eyes quickly.

"No!" I shook my head and turned to walk down to the middle of the pool. I lowered a step under water and this came to my knees. Then i felt his arms around my waist and made me turn toward him.

"Nervous, angel?"

"No." I swallowed. "I was looking at the clothes that Sam made."

"Yes, of course." He laughed with his nose against my cheek. I felt tickled, and the smell of his lotion felt nice.

I laughed.

But why I should pretend that I wasn't seeing?

And I gently grabbed his t-shirt.

He was so sweet when he touched me, and his touch could tell that he loved me. So i ran a hand around his neck, and Jinki smiled against my cheek. A warm heart like the sun above us. And his touch was soft as the flutter of a butterfly.

"You want to dance, angel?"

"What?" I blinked at him. "But there is no music. And I've never danced in a pool."

"Music is not necessary." He separated and extended his hand. "We can use our imagination."

I took his hand and approached him.

"Or you can sing." And i put my hand on his shoulder. "I love when you sing."

His voice, his smile, his laugh. All.

"I will sing for you then."

Dalalala la laladalalala la lala

Dalalala la laladalalala la lala

My body relaxed against him and i smiled against his shoulder. There was no need to think about tomorrow when I was at his side; without work or university, nor duties to do. At least for a few minutes and I didn't need to think about anything else.

Just like that, just like that,

I will stand behind you, for always

Just like that, just like that,

I will always be a step behind you, for always

There was so much beauty in him, and i bet for us as he did. I would do it a thousand times more.

It feels like my breath will stop

My face blooms in the moonlight

Even if he didn't sing, his voice was like music to me. All day, every day.

Dalalala la laladalalala la lala

Dalalala la laladalalala la lala

When he finished singing he pressed his lips in my cheek.

"And with that it ends your photoshoot, guys."

We pulled away at Key's voice. And behind him was Daehyun with a camera, and he was next to Jong, and both were smiling. I laughed at the thought that the session was over even before starting it.

"So this is all?" i asked.

Dae smiled.

"Yes. We can come back."

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

As the sun went down in the distance the sky was painted with beautiful colors that combined together. The line in the horizont dividing the sky and the water seemed to take to sun and hide it. In the distance the sun painted the water gold and made it glisten. As having walked in the cornfield, standing in front of the beach was as if the world really was made only by beauty.

I stepped back with camera in my hands. Sometimes when i saw the camera, I always thought i would have given my best to be a good photographer. My grandfather had taught us to believe in what we wanted to be, to fight for what would make us happy. I had big plans when I was little; travel and save shorts but important moments on a photo. I wanted to work for a travel magazine or a nature one. Some think that having that camera with me would only be a memory of what I could have been but I never was. But for me, it's a reminder that I didn't need to reach the top to continue doing what i loved most.

I reached down and hold the camera against sand. I adjusted the visor up and found the sun in the frame. I didn't need a picture to remember this moment forever, but the picture in front of me was so beautiful that it deserved to have a photo.

Jinki sat in the sand a few steps back and i sat between his legs.

He sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing." He put a hand on my waist and pulled me close. "It's nothing."

"Yah." I insisted raising my head to look at him. "You're no good pretending. Say it... What happen?"

Jinki tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry you couldn't be a photographer, angel."

"It's okay." I shrugged to downplay the issue. "I was going to leave it anyway."

"You really would have done that. Right?"

"I would have done anything for my brother. Besides, it was not fair to him from the start because it was my turn when Jason said no. I guess Dad thought that was a job for men... but i proved the opposite." I flexed my arm to show my strength and he laughed. "Maybe I don't do this professionally, but I can still take pictures. Anyway, that was all that mattered to me."

He smiled full of proud.

When the sun disappears completely and the bright moon took its place we decided to return to the hotel. But still i felt the heat of the night. I put the camera strap over my shoulder and we walked over there with my converse digging into the sand. It was like being a child again. Jinki smiled and put a hand on my lower back, and my cheeks burned with shame to feel his touch.

"Are you okay, angel?" He teased with his lips touching my ear. "You look nervous."

"Don't make fun of me."

"I don't." He chuckled.

"Yeah. Sure." I said sarcastically. "What would the fans think if they see their idol behaving not so innocent?" But then I stopped to think about that for a moment. "I think some would like that."

I shook my head and called the elevator and it opened second later.

"But now I am not an idol, angel." Jinki pressed the button of the 5th floor and the doors closed. Alone in that little metal box, he tightened his arms around my waist from behind. "Now I'm just a man."

Seconds later, the elevator opened showing the corridor with a red carpet to the other end. Our room was on the other side of the 5th floor.

"When we return tomorrow, first thing to do is pick up Gahul."

"We will do that, Angel. I also miss him... even if he loves you more."

"It's a dog. He just loves and that's all."

"Good night, guys." Both turned and found Daehyun closing the door of his room.

"Daehyun. You already had dinner?"

"Not yet. But the guys are waiting for me down. Do you want to come with us?"

"No. We thought about ordering something." Jinki replied.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. Have a good night, guys. And thanks for dinner, Juliette." He smiled one last time and walked to the elevator.

Jinki walked to the room door and opened the door with the card.

"Thanks for dinner, Juliette?" He asked, closing the door behind us. "What does that mean?"

"I just... I paid them dinner at a Thai restaurant. Daehyun said he always wanted to go there but never could."

"And you paid dinner because you're a good friend?"

I frowned. Jealous, he was jealous.

"What does that mean?"

But he just stood there near the door.

"Are you angry about it?" I walked to the bed and sat down. Why? "And you don't need to say it like that, you know?"

He was about to respond but my phone rang. Jinwoo. This wasn't fair; he had millions of people who loved him, and yet he acted that way with me.

"Jinwoo!" I smiled though he couldn't see me. "How are you?"

"Hi. I just wanted to talk to you. Do you have time?"

"Yes." I replied looking at Jinki. "I'm not busy."

Jinki nodded. Are we playing like that now? He laughed sarcastically and left the room. My shoulders slumped in disappointment and i lay on the bed.

"What's new?"

"Not much. I have the day off so I helped dad in the company. All this makes me want to go to Paris sooner."

"The routine is boring, right? But don't worry, in a few days you will forget us."

"That will never happen, Juls." He laughed. "Well, I don't want to interrupt, I just wanted to ask you if you will come back soon, Shin was thinking about going to the mountains."

"Yes, of course. Tomorrow i will be back, so don't go without me."

"Of course we won't. Well, have a good night, Julie."

I hoped that.

"You too." And i hung up.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

In a lonely night in the hotel pool, i watched him as he swam from one end to another. He swam without stopping, and sometimes seemed not to take air either and i could see his frustration. I walked to the edge of the pool and sat there. At some point he would realize that i was also in his little world. The sky was clear and the stars were shining near the moon, and below it there was a person who couldn't see its beauty.

"What are you doing here?"

I looked down and found him in the middle of pool.

"The moon looks better from here."

"Go back to the room, Juliette."

When he was angry i was Juliette.

"Nah, I'd rather stay here. I'll wait for you to finish."

"It will take a while. Go back to the room."

"No."

Jinki looked away and growled silently through clenched teeth. It was strange to see that side of him. But from now on i would do anything to see him smile again. I stood up and took off my converse, i took off my baggy shirt and i stay there with my top on and my shorts.

He was surprised.

"Do you really want me to return to the room now?"

He looked at me with a surprise expression, but his eyes shone under the moonlight.

"Come here." He said quickly.

I laughed and jumped into the water.

When i came out of the water Jinki rested his hands on my waist. I rested my hands on his bare chest and i knew that all was okay now.

He was a beautiful view.

And he kissed me under the moon.

As always, hope you like it.