Thought # 10.

"In the short time together he showed me a new life.

Someday, we all will find a person that we can anchor ourselves.

But don't be afraid, because that person won't drown us in their lies.

The right person will let us fly free as birds spreading their wings against the wind."

[Flowers that showed its petals each day in a field that seemed endless. Beautiful colors that seemed to glow with the sunlight. My hand caressed each flower in my path and they returned to their place in one smooth motion. The horizon seemed endless and i walked toward it following the sun above me. Left or right, forward or backward, as if the world had been reborn in a world of flowers. They were living beings who couldn't speak, but expressed themselves through colors. And the world had become a place that learned to see the true beauty.

I wanna tell you

That forever more

I’ll be the one to love you, to love you

When you need me

I’ll be there to make you smile

But through my eyes the definition of beauty had changed suddenly.

Strong hands gently held the young life in his hands. One of them grabbed his small back while the other held his little head. He showed his love like a flower showed their petals for the first time. Butterfly kisses that he left on his forehead, and a soft smile that rested against the baby's cheek. He snuggled the baby into his chest, and heat spread throughout the infinite place.

Jae Young was just there, as if all that he needed was to feel the heart of his father.]

I could feel my cheeks hot and my heart was beating fast. I ran a hand through my hair as i looked at Jinki, he slept peacefully on his left side. What was that? With a completely dark sky, I questioned myself what was happening. Today was the wedding, so didn't need dreams like that to try to approach him.

Today was the wedding and my heart knew it.

"Go back to sleep, angel." Jinki still had his eyes closed, and his voice was husky. "It isn't the time yet."

I looked at him in silence for a few seconds.

"How did you know I was awake?"

"Your breathing becomes softer when you sleep."

"Ah..." I watched his face, saw only his profile in the darkness. "Jinki.. are you nervous?"

He breathed deeply, and touched my arm softly in the dark.

"I'm excited, angel. Now go back to sleep."

I looked at him but I couldn't see him completely, and I fell asleep minutes later.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

When I woke up hours later, i was still lying on my right side with my eyes on Jinki's empty space in the bed. His brown hair was no longer falling on the pillow, and he left in his place a folded paper into two. I got up on one elbow and took it. At the top said to my little angel, and he had drawn two small wings on the side.

My little angel.
Today is the big day and I can not explain how excited I am. I asked you to stay because I wanted to wake up with you by my side knowing that today you would become my wife. It was a great feeling to wake up and see that this will be my future from now on.
I'll be waiting for you, angel.

My phone rang on the bedside table and showed on screen Line's chat messages.

Mr. Byun - Wake up and shine, future Mrs. Lee!

Channie - Mrs. Lee, are you ready for the big day?

Chen - Today is the day of kisses.

He sent a picture of Brown bear kissing a bunny.

D.O - Noona, congratulations!

Julie - Thanks D.O, you are a sweetheart. And to others, are you enjoying the jokes?

Mr. Byun. - Sweetheart?! And what about all of us?

Chen - TT ^ TT

Channie - ...

D.O - ^^

Chen - What a troll!

Mr. Byun - Look who says that...

Julie - Maybe... I don't know it yet. See you later, guys. I have to go. Bye!

"Stop that!" I heard Key screaming coming from the living room. "What's wrong with you?! You're ruining your suit."

I put the phone on the night table and left the bed.

"I..." I heard Jonghyun's sobs as I walked down the hall to the living room. "I'm just happy for hyung. Can't help it."

Jonghyun had made it clear since his debut that was very sentimental. I was touched, he was happy for someone he considered his family.

"Yah! Control the tears. You're gonna ruin your suit!" Key scold him again.

"Calm down, Key." Minho said and put a hand on Jong's shoulder to calm him. "Hopefully in a few seconds he will calm down."

"Umma, Onew hyung can't see you like this, he could become more nervous."

"I just hope Hyung not trip over his own feet." Jonghyun teased. His voice came out a little ragged.

I laughed and all eyes were on me.

"Yah! Cry all you want here so you won't make a scene out there." Key again scold him while he held my hand. Key, the boys and I had established a very good relationship very quickly. He was great, they all were. "And don't even thing about crying in the church."

"That would be very bad." Minho said.

"Calm down, guys." I put a hand on Jong's shoulder and i smiled at him. "Everything will be easier when we get there. You'll see."

"Noona, you're very calm."

"Looks like it." I giggled. "I am very nervous, Tae. My heart is beating fast."

"Everything will be alright, Juliette." Minho smiled.

"Thank you. And by the way, you all look very handsome." I fixed Taemin's tie.

Everyone smiled.

"Thank you, noona."

Tae had been lovely since I moved in, always looking to be next to Key and me. He always included me in his plans to play games with him and Minho.

"Juliette, why are you still in your pajamas?" Key said.

"Hyung said you liked to sleep." Jong said and chuckled. "But I didn't know that was true, who can sleep on her wedding day?"

Minho pushed him slightly. Minho was the quietest of all, but when we were just the two of us, we always had a theme to speak of. It wasn't hard at all to talk to him.

"Yah! Don't bother." He said, then he looked at me with a smile as well. "Hyung wanted to tell you that he is anxious to see you in church, after today you will be his wife."

"His wife." Jong said wiggling his eyebrows.

Key was the mother in the apartment, Tae was a cute brother, I could always talk to Minho, and Jonghyun never missed an opportunity to make jokes.

Before leaving each of them hugged me.

I would never have believed that they would accept me as part of their family, but they did.

They were my family now.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

With a heart beating fast and a mind full of thoughts, I walked around the small waiting room that the church had given to the bride. My knees were shaking and i took my skirt to calm the trembling of my hands too. I stopped in front of the full-length mirror. My hair was not painted pink anymore, and my hair stylist had put it aside to make a braid that made a complete turn and disappeared beneath my hair. Inhale deeply and concentrate. It was simple as I wanted, and it was beautiful in its simplest form. The heat in my cheeks mixed with pink tone that she had applied. Exhale slowly and let it go.

"Aunt Julie?" My little Julian pushed the door and entered holding a rose. His suit made him look adorable.

"What happened, baby?" I leaned toward him.

"Uncle Onew sent you this." He gave me the flower. I took it in my hands and smiled. "Uncle Key said uncle Onew is not allow to come see you. He can't see the bride before the wedding ceremony."

"No. He can't." I replied looking the rose. I could never forget the details that he had to me. Each and every one of them. "Do you think it would look nice if i put it in my hair?"

"Yes!" He jumped.

I walked to the mirror and put the rose in my hair.

"Aunt Julie?" Julian pulled my dress gently. I chuckled and looked at him. "Are you nervous?"

"Yes." I leaned toward him. "Very."

"Don't be. Uncle Onew will be surprised when he sees you."

"Thank you, baby."

Julian giggled and gave me a pick on my lips.

"I caught you!" My grandpa entered the room followed by dad and my brother with Joshua in his arms. "How can you cheating a good guy like Onew with this... boy?"

He took Julian in his arms.

"Be careful, Dad." My dad scolded him and grandpa rolled his eyes.

"How do you feel, baby?" Jason gave me Joshua and i took him in my arms. "The wedding is about to begin."

"I'm fine." I kissed Joshua's hair and felt his baby shampoo. "Nervous, but fine."

"Jinki's a good boy, I'm sure he will make you happy, no one is good enough for my little sister but he is very close."

"Bah! That was not what you said this morning." Grandpa smiled mischievously. "You were too happy to give him your sister."

"Give? Since when I became a thing?"

"I didn't say it like that. I think Jinki is the only guy who i completely trust to take care of my sister."

"Your father thought that too." Replied my grandpa. "He didn't even hesitate."

"Thanks, Dad." My dad sighed and looked at me. "His father and I have been friends for a long time, I watched him grow, he is humble despite his fame. He promised to protect you."

The wedding planner announced that they had to return to their places.

And here, standing behind those wooden doors that separated me from the few steps i should take to join another person, it was the beginning of a new life.

"I love you, baby." Dad kissed my forehead. "I promise, I swear that this is not a punishment. Please trust me when I tell you, honey, that I can assure you with my life he is going to get you back to being happy."

And he gave me his arm. I took it knowing he would help me, because I felt I was going to faint because of nerves.

Then the doors opened wide.

I was intimidated a little when all eyes were focused on me as the wedding music started. My uncles, cousins, my brother, my grandparent. Almost all my family was here. As we walked, I remembered these scenes i invented, where in the wedding day saying "no" would be to end it all. But now everything had changed, now only fear was in my heart.

But he was not afraid, because in his eyes i could see that he wouldn't disappoint me.

Jinki looked so happy. He looked like an angel dressed in white and his hair to one side.

For me, his eyes were shining.

We stopped in front of him, and dad gave him my hand and smiled. When my dad went back to his spot, Jinki squeezed my hand and smiled.

"I, Lee Jinki, give myself to you, Juliette Hamilton, as a husband, friend, and life partner since today and forever. In front of God, our families and friends, i give my life to you. I promise to support your hopes, dreams and goals. I promise to be to your side in every moment, if you fall; i will help you to get up again, if you cry: i will comfort you, if you laugh: i will laugh with you, if the pain comes into our lives; together we will overcome it. Everything i am and everything i have is yours since today until eternity."

And we both said I do.

Jinki was right, it wasn't me anymore, it was us now. I felt a bond with him, as that night where our hearts became one when we kissed. But i didn't want to think I was forced to join another person, because part of me was happy that this happen. Our lips were reunited, becoming one, as our lives when you accept the sacrament of marriage. Although I never wanted to depend on someone, my soul was bound to his under the eyes of God. And now i wished from the bottom of my trembling heart, that unlike what happened with my parents and what I thought, I wanted this to last. 

With the applause of those present and with his lips to my cheek, i was officially his wife.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

The terrace of a hotel was the ideal place to have the party. Up here where the air was cool, a white tent that covered the place was placed.

"Hello everyone!" The leader of the party, Kim Heechul greeted all present with enthusiasm. "You all know me, and tonight i will be who accompanies the beautiful couple and guide you through this beautiful night. And to celebrate the first dance of the newlyweds, Miss Krystal Jung will sing the favorite song of the bride "A thousand years". I have been informed that Miss Jung and Mrs. Lee have now become good friends. So, let's begin. And my best wishes to the beautiful couple."

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

¿How to be brave?

How can I love when I'm afraid To fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt

Suddenly goes away somehow.

When I was in his arms, i feel safe. He felt like home.

His words were warm, his eyes were not lying, that sweet smile, and his trembling hands. He was betting on us and to this marriage.

"How do you feel, my beautiful wife?" His forehead gently pressed against mine.

Jinki closed his eyes, his hands gripped my waist as we slowly moved to the rhythm of the song.

"Happy." I raised a hand and went through his silky hair, getting lost myself in its softness. "And you?"

"It feels like paradise with you in my arms."

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid

I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

My hand fell to his shoulder and i pulled myself away. Jinki looked at me in confusion.

"What happened? Did I said something wrong?"

"No. It's just ... I don't know how to say things like that."

Against everything I imagined, Jinki chuckled.

"Yah! You scared me. For a second I thought I had done something that bothered you." Jinki took my hand while the other grabbed my waist again. "I don't do these things expecting you to do it too, angel. You make me happy, that's enough to me."

I made him happy. And would it be like this forever?

"What will happen now?"

"You want to go on a honeymoon, angel?"

I knew an impromptu wedding had deprived us of doing what a normal couple would. What awaited us the next day was to continue with the routine that we had and not a trip. But it was Okay. Being with him made me feel safe, and that was all I needed.

"I mean, what differentiates us from what we were yesterday?"

"The only thing that will change is that I can call you my wife. In addition, you'll still be my angel. Nothing has to change."

And all along I believed

I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Krystal finished singing, and like her, EXO stood to give us a beautiful presentation of their song "Angel."

"This song is dedicated to Onew hyung and Juliette..." Baek said, and he looked everybody when he realized he was talking about me as a close friend. I shook my head. "Whom I know recently. It's not like we're friends or anything... Ouch!"

Chanyeol hit him with an elbow to silence him.

When it was their turn, SHINee gave us a beautiful version of their song "Hello" in a ballad. When they finished singing, the boys were standing in the middle of the dance floor.

"Hyung." Minho started. "There is much we can say about you, but today we want to thank you for being a great leader, for taking care of us; in presentations and at home. You always put our needs before yours. We can not express the joy we feel for you, but what it is not easy to say we are gonna try to prove it. Now you found a very special person, we will look after your marriage to be the happiest of all."

Key then straightened his tie and cleared his throat.

"Hyung, we are really happy for you. But especially me." He smiled. "I will always remember the first time we met. From that moment I knew you were a great person, and now you found a person with whom you want to share your life. I know you're going to work hard to be a great husband, and I know you will."

Then it was Jong's turn.

"Hyung, you're a great person, and we have grown together as artists. I'm glad to be part of this new phase in your life. You picked the right person for you, and I know you both will have a good life together. And like Minho said, we will do everything we can to protect your marriage. Don't let anything or anyone to attempt to separate you from the person who makes you happy. "

"Hyung." Taemin said. "Noona, I'm very happy for both. Hyung, you were always a good leader, you always knew the right words to tell us to encourage us and motivate us when life was difficult. Now is our time to do something for you, so count on us for whatever you both need."

"Congratulations." The four bowed.

And then Jong took the microphone.

"Please, when you decide to have children give us a niece." He smiled causing much laughter. "Welcome to the family, Juliette."

"Welcome, Juliette." Minho smiled.

"Welcome to SHINee family, Juliette." Key said.

"Welcome, noona." Taemin smiled.

After that, it was time to dance. I had already shared the dance with many people, including Jinki's family, and friends. Then it was time to dance with those close to me. As my family and my best friends.

"You thought I would not come, right?" Jinwoo said, elegant dress for the occasion.

"Maybe." I admitted sheepishly. For a moment I thought this would be difficult for him. "But you don't know how glad i am that you're here."

"This is an opportunity that happens once in life if you find the right person, Julie. I wouldn't be so bad friend."

"You're not a bad friend." I said.

When the song ended Jinki stopped in front of us and smiled at Jinwoo kindly.

"Jinwoo, Can I borrow Juliette for a moment, please?"

Jinwoo looked at me for a moment before looking at him.

"Sure." I did not expect, but Jinwoo extended his hand to Onew. "And congratulations, Onew, you have a great woman here. I hope you know."

Jinki shook his hand.

"Thank you, Jinwoo, believe me I know."

My best friend smiled sweetly, then turned and left. Jinki took my hand and started walking off the dance floor.

Still holding his hand I glanced at the sky: it was full of stars. I was sure that my grandmother was watching me. I knew she would be very happy if she were here now. We walked down a wooden staircase and walked down one side of the terrace until we reached the other end of the place. We stopped for a second, this little place was beautiful. I looked out the glass railing and admired surprised beautiful night view of Seoul. Large buildings, colored lights, a full moon.

"Its beautiful."

"Yes, it is." He said as he took my hair behind my ear, and I could feel myself blushing.

Jinki watched the place in silence and i watched him. I stopped to see his hair, wanting to touch it. Would it be weird? His long hair moved when he danced and was now moving with the wind, so a small laugh escaped from my lips.

"What happen?"

"Nothing." I giggled. "Nothing."

"Why?" He was puckering his lips. "Tell me what's so funny. Maybe we can both laugh at that."

Well, I wouldn't say anything that is not true.

"Do you know that... your fans were saying that your hair resembles to a baby lion at the time that you boys promoted Sherlock?"

"Really?" He cocked his head thoughtfully, then a smile formed on his face. "Am I the baby of a lion?"

We smiled, but then his smile faded. We locked at each other's eyes, and slowly, Jinki approached to me, so close that cut my breath.

"We better get back." I whispered.

I was not able to withstand his gaze that seemed to leave me helpless. I tried to walk but he stopped me and shook his head. My heart was pounding in my chest. Jinki took my face, and then he pressed his lips against mine in a tender kiss.

"I think I'll take advantage of this." He whispered.

"Advantage of what?"

"Kissing you." He replied. I smiled against his lips and pulled away. "Will you give me a chance?"

"What?"

"An opportunity to be your husband."

I pulled away enough to think a moment. Honestly, none of this made sense sometimes, because there was a vast difference between Jinki and me. 

He knew I could cause problems, i knew I was a magnet for them.

"Did my father pay you?" I asked.

It was my only answer.

"What?" He frowned. "Why would he do that?"

"You'd be surprised." I looked down.

"Is that what you think you are?" He lifted my chin with a finger, looking at me offended. "You think you're just a contract for me, right?"

"Is not that..."

"So what is it, Angel? Help me understand."

Does anyone understand the pressure i feel to be the wife of an idol?

"If I told you I like to smoke. Would you still like me?"

He thought for a few seconds. Perhaps because he was really considering it, or perhaps because the question had taken him by surprise.

"Yes." He replied firmly.

"What if i had tattoos?"

He looked me straight in my eyes.

"I wouldn't care."

"What if...?" I bit my lip. I didn't know what to say.

"Are we done with the questions, angel? Now, please, tell me what it's all about."

"Jinki, I can't stand the misconception that all have what I will be. I will not be the wife devoted to her husband that maintains the appearance of being perfect. I will not change. But people keep telling me how I should be, how to act to be the wife of an idol." I said, nearly tripping over my words.

I said almost without stopping, as if my heart asked me to.

Jinki looked at me in disbelief, and he laughed, and then it was my turn to look at him in disbelief.

"I don't care, i don't want you to change. I don't want someone perfect, I'm not, nobody is. I just want you to tell me you will try to trust me, I just want to hear that and I will do everything I can to make you happy."

He hugged me, kissing my hair.

"Don't you want to be with someone who can give you the love you deserve, Jinki? Why? Just tell me why."

"I'll tell you someday when you're ready to accept my feelings for you. I want you, even if you're a troublemaker. For nothing in the world i'm going to let you go." He sighed and pulled away. "I'll give you something, the most important thing I have." He loosened the knot of his tie and pulled out a necklace, a small bird that had a J in the center. "I want you to have it. As your bracelet, this for me is my life, Juliette, and i hope that this is a sign that I trust you, and hopefully soon you will do it too."

Jinki stood behind me and put it around me, and the little bird hung around my neck.

I knew that feeling; the love for what is important to us.

Behind me, Jinki gently touched the rose I had hung in my hair and then he put his arms around me.

"Could you do something for me?"

"Whatever you want, angel."

The wind ran shaking my heart.

"Sing Forever more to me."

I knew he was smiling against my hair when he began to sing, beautifully like he always did.

Before we go to sleep tonight

We’ll say our prayers

I’ll hold you tight

and kiss away the fears

you hold inside you.

Without realizing it and without trying, he had managed to occupy my thoughts at day and he was the reason i couldn't sleep at night. The heat in his heart was as scorching as the same sun on a summer day. And it was as beautiful as the moonlight this night. But I know that sometimes I could be a toxic soul, and as destructive as a hurricane, and yet, he approached me without any armor.

Through all the tears we left behind

The joy we shared, your hand in mine

I can’t resist ooo touching you not even while you’re sleeping.

There was a lot that people didn't know about me, there was much he didn't know me... although there was much I didn't know about myself either. What people see of me is only half of the moon that is not hiding in the shadows. What kind of person have you done to me in your heart, Jinki? In this life he was a full moon and I just half of it. But he never asked who I was. He decided to find out with an open heart. He didn't care about my past, and I had to learn to let it go now.

And forever more

I’ll be the one you come to oh honey

I’ll be the one to love you when the morning comes

I’ll be the one to love you… forever more.

Hi, everyone.

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