Thought # 14.

"Falling in love...

What is it?

Some say you can fall when someone smiles at you. When his eyes shines for you. When his arms protects you in a hug.

But now people don't just swim against the current for love.

What happened to love?

Since when loving with all your heart became something that cause fear?

The world is cold sometimes.

Just like some hearts.

Be patient, please, because ice can be melted too."

>A world that she forgot. Feelings that she could no longer feel. A heart that wasn't beating. A frail body walking into a world of concrete.

And now she was back on earth.

Sky opened her eyes slowly, and a flash of light pierced her vision and expanded as the sun when we tried to see it. She shut her eyes and opened them again; that light pole was shining to much. She got up and managed to sit in the dirty alley, wrinkling her nose at the smell. Feelings that she forgot. Feelings that she could no longer feel until now. She complained of pain, she frowned and looked up; the moon shone in the distance and countered the dark sky. For a long time she looked at the moon from heaven.

She stood up and walked slowly, her body swaying along the way. Her wings were gone. To the right or left, the highway stretched in both directions and in front of her there was only big buildings that appeared to be abandoned. They were painted with forgetting. Something fell into that alley and she could hear the beating of her heart pounding in that silent night. Beats she hadn't heard in a long time. She looked into the darkness coming from the place and squinted. But then someone behind her grabbed her arm and pushed her against the wall.

Her human body, a fragile body.

"Hey, cutie." A boy with black eyes that seemed to see her soul smiled at her. "You are a beauty... What are you doing around here? Are you lost, sweetheart?"

"No... I'm fine." She tried to pull away from his grasp, but he pushed her again.

"I could help you find your way... to my house."

Even under his rough grip, he had a very soft voice that quivered her to the bone. His eyes were so dark that appeared to prevent any word come out of her. But, in the seconds that seemed eternal she heard the sound of a motorcycle, that made a hoarse sound when it stopped.

A guy took off his helmet, and the wind rocked his long hair that fell over his forehead.

"What are you doing, Matt?" He approached them.

The wind moved his dark hair like the night and let her see those brown eyes.

The boy with the dark eyes looked at him for a moment before looking at her again.

"This is not your problem, Grey, so go away." And he shook his hand in the air telling him to go away.

Please don't leave me.

Her powers felt like a cloud covering the sun; like his thoughts that were covered by hers.

"Come here." He extended his hand. "Now."

The new boy scared her too, but not in a bad way, so she walked over him and took his hand. He took her behind him. His hand grabbed hers and his warmth enveloped her senses.

"Go away, Matt, i didn't know you needed to intimidate girls to get them."

The boy snorted, but disappeared like a shadow in the light.

She breathed. And his back stiffened as she exhaled deeply.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" He turned to look at her with a frown. "Are you looking for trouble? Do you know what could have happened to you?"

You will face challenges that may seem difficult to overcome, but nothing is stronger than your spirit.

"No. I'm lost. Can you help me? Please?"

"Where do you live?"

She looked at the sky for a few seconds. Her home was another now, because those doors had been opened to show her the life she had forgotten down here. But he wouldn't leave her unprotected in a world consumed by evil. She like others had come to change that.

"I live in Florida, but I came here to move in with... Christopher Hunt. You know him, right?"

"Yes, he's my friend." He examined her from head to toe. Someone like her couldn't be friends with his best friend. But she knew Chris and her had been friends probably since before he was born. "How do you know that?"

"He talked about you."

"Why are you dressed like that?"

She had a white dress and Converse. But even she didn't know why. Before answering, he took off his jacket and gave at her reluctantly.

"Sit." He ordered and gave her his helmet. "And put this on."

"No, thank you." She handed. She wouldn't die if an accident occurred. "It would be better if you put it on."

"It will not ruin your hair, princess." He snorted. "Put it on now."

She sighed, but this wasn't a random meet. She had found who she had to protect, so she climbed on the motocycle, and he took her hands and pressed around him.

"Stay like this, princess, or we die."

"I'm not a princess." She said through the helmet.

"Whatever you say, Princess."<

A frail body walking into a world of concrete. Good one, Jason.

My phone marked complete battery when Minho's car left the city behind and made his way on a highway that spread in the forest. The trees rose into the sky and i could breathe nature. Minho got down the windows and the car filled with fresh air. Cold. A cool mind was what i needed now. Why i needed to fill my mind with more of their images? Beautiful voices, shared smiles, whispers in the ear; a friendship of years.

"I love Lunew."

"They should have married."

"They are perfect together."

"They look so happy."

"It's just a bad day, Juliette, not a bad life." Minho put his hand over the phone and gently pushed it down. "Don't let your life get complicated."

"Minho..." He had come to save me at that bad time, but i didn't understand how he could take the time to do it. "Are not you supposed to be in your company? I thought you were always there or doing your schedule."

"A free day will not hurt anyone. Beside, since you married hyung some of us have questioned ourself about our own personal life. You reminded him that he is also a person, and some may want to feel that too."

"Don't say that." I couldn't become the reason why they would walk away from the music. Many years of training, and a feeling could end it all. "You still have many years as singers, Minho, may still grow as artists."

"Or it's one, or the other. Why can not we have both? We can handle it, but we fear that the fans don't. Fame will not last forever, but the memories will. The real fans will keep us in their hearts forever, so you don't have to be afraid of what could happen."

Half an hour later I was sitting on a wooden bridge in the forest swinging my legs. The evening seemed to fall slowly in the forest, and the sun reflecting its rays down on the leaves covering the forest of an orange color. The beautiful singing of birds and the scent of tranquility caused a feeling in my body: peace, as if everything in this place will take bad feelings away from me; leaving me only the good ones.

Even I wanted to take the cozy feeling when it was time to return. I wanted to put it in a bottle. But i knew that once we get back to the dorm that peace would be replace with sadness and confusion.

"Ready, Juliette?" Minho asked.

We had separated from the main road long time ago, but considering that the sunset was near, we didn't have much time to explore everything just by walking.

I jumped the railing and smiled slightly.

"Ready."

Minho and Jinki ran down the stairs when the elevator closed, separating when they got to the lobby. Minho still held to GaHul when he found me, and he said he would give me a way to let go of the feeling that lodged in my chest. He returned to the apartament, assuring to Jinki that i was going to be fine, and half an hour later we were walking uphill here.

"You know..." Minho said a few minutes later. "You're the first person I have brought here since my father showed this to me."

I looked at him surprised.

"Not even to members?"

"Not even them."

That made me feel special; Minho was sharing something he had not shared with anyone. And I felt I should do it too.

"I have been disobedient." I said, and Minho looked at me. "I've fought in my previous university with a girl who talked about my younger brother to provoke me." I sighed. "Remember the problem with the boy in the cafeteria?"

Minho nodded.

One day after this incident, I received a call from dad from Seoul, reproaching me that such behavior is not suitable for someone who had a family with a reputation to protect. But he didn't know that the boy, a student of higher grade, approached me with ulterior motives, like being part of the famous family company. But he didn't know it and I didn't tell him.

"I was tired of people who believed that I was a thing to get something, and he especially didn't flinch when I said to him what he actually wanted to do. I had no idea that someone would take our picture, and took a nice picture when I hit him there." I made a browlift to emphasize the place where i had buried my leg in.

"Did he use you to be close to your father?" Minho frowned, and when I nodded, he shook his head. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Would you believe me after all i did?"

"I didn't believe it." Minho smiled.

"You didn't?"

"I didn't. People only understand the first thing they see, superficially when something bad happens. When I saw your face, it expressed someone who could stand alone, but after marriage, i have a different version of you."

"Oh." It was all I could say. Seriously, there were people who believed that nothing was my fault.

"Thanks for sharing that with me, Juliette."

It was the last thing he said as we follow the path.

Even when I wanted this place to serve to clear my memory for a moment, still I had to make a decision on how to react to what happened. I didn't know how it happened, but suddenly I was looking at him through different eyes.

But that was called infidelity and hit me in my pride.

"Juliette?"

I shook my head.

"Yes?"

"We're here." He smiled.

Suddenly the trees were gone, and the path ended at the top of a rock. All I had in front of me was the gigantic and beautiful image of Seoul, it was framed as a picture between two mountains. I closed my mouth when i noted that Minho laughed at my expression. I turned around, there were more mountains around, and all I could see were mountains.

"Does it still hurt?" Minho asked, one hand on his heart.

I bit my lip and nodded.

"This is the most affective way to let go of the pain. Listen to this."

That said, he puts his hands around his mouth and yelled as loud as he could.

And I laughed in surprise.

"Stop! You are crazy!"

"Your turn." He answered smiling, but then he saw my doubt. "Let it go what you have inside, Juls, or it will only hurt you."

He was right.

I took a few seconds, and I screamed as loud as my throat and my lungs would allow me to. When I stopped for air Minho joined, and I could feel the pain left my body along with my breathing.

"Not more." I laughed, my throat hurt and i was breathing hard. But it felt good. "Or you will hurt your throat."

"You're right." He laughed also touching his chest. "Do you feel better?"

"Much Better."

"That's good." He smiled. "Don't tell the guys but, I come here when I feel stressed. I like to be here and think."

"And yelled?"

"Sometimes."

We looked at each other for a moment, then we began to laugh; as if we shared a joke. We laughed so much it hurt. But as the seconds ticked by, my laughter was fading into a sigh. I turned to look at him and my eyebrows came together. I didn't want a bad answer to a question I had in my mind.

"Did he kissed her, Minho?"

"No, Juliette, of course not." He shook his head. "Come here." Minho extended a hand to me and he helped me to sit down, and he sat beside me. "Like I said; people only believe what our eyes see first. But then I thought about it. Luna kissed him, Luna tried to hide her love for him, but Onew hyung doesn't see it. Always, he considered her as a younger sister. Hyung never saw Luna's intentions, apparently only my members and I saw it, and now Luna stopped being so subtle, and that only took him by surprise... It's Onew hyung, please! "He raised his hands to the sky. "Even as a singer, hyung has never got this excitement in his love life. His love life was as exciting as a cactus in the desert until you came. But... you thought... what is beyond what we can see?" He pointed beyond the mountains in front of us. Beyond the city. "Are there things that would make us happy but don't know out of fear of the unknown? I wondered if there is something else somewhere for me. I am grateful to life for giving me what I have, but sometimes I wonder what I will find if i look for something far away from here."

"Uh... I wonder the same thing. Everything that I have in my life was because of my father, but sometimes I'd like to be like my brother and find what would make me happy. But after what happened, after the accident with my brother, I didn't want to get away from home and leave him. I also felt i had no right to tell my parents what I wanted to do, so instead of creating my life, i just settled me to the life my father created for me. But I just want to say that no matter what happens with Jinki, I'll take Gahul with me."

Minho laughed.

"I want to tell you something, but don't be angry. Okay?" He said and I nodded. "I was thinking that maybe hyung adopted Gahul so that one day when he grows up, you both will have to move into a house. Gahul will need space, and although we didn't want you two to leave, you do needed your own place."

I knew what he was talking about. Home, family, babies. I shook my head and looked at him innocently.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You have eyes, Juliette, use them and learn to see what is around you."

"I don't understand."

"I'm just saying that if you weren't in love with hyung we wouldn't be here now. If you didn't feel anything for him you could pretend nothing happened there and not run away."

"You didn't see them? That hit my pride."

"It didn't hurt your pride, it did hurt your feelings. Feelings you have for him."

I had no idea how to answer that, so i stopped looking at him while i made a sound with my tongue.

"It's okay." He shrugged. "No one is happy with an arranged marriage, and we will not discuss the disadvantages of it now. What I wanted was to give you a calm place to think. We will not talk until you're ready, and when you are, i will be here for you."

He stretched his arms over his head and leaned back closing his eyes.

I watched the wedding ring. For Luna this was personal. I pulled it out my finger to looked at it, and the sun reflected on it showing me something that made me hold my breath. The inside of the ring had an inscription in relief "With love, to my little angel.'

"Minho?"

"You know what to do?" He sat down again.

"No."

"When you feel bad, instinctively, you look for something or someone that makes you feel better. For me, is a place like this. Now you just have to think what to do."

"Well... the first person who comes to my mind is not available to answer. His advice is what I like to hear at this moment." I cleared my throat and turned to face him. "What I said in the dorm was only part of what I think of you, just don't know how to express my gratitude to you for having behaved so nice to me. I'm very grateful to you and the members, and i would really like to hear your opinion... what do you think I should do?"

"I think you're so in love with hyung as he is with you, and even when it is an arranged marriage and when you don't want to accept it, Onew hyung must be the nicest person I've ever met in my life, and believe me, Juliette, we all are happy with the marriage." He sighed. "How do you feel for him?"

"I... do you think a person can wake up and realize that it is in love with someone? I don't know if that's possible. But... sometimes I feel I'm not good for him."

"You didn't find out it from one day to another. Maybe you already knew you were in love with him but didn't want to accept it. And you're not bad, Juliette, accidents happen. But don't let it define you as a person. And we want you to be part of our lives too. What I said in the wedding was true; I want to protect hyung's marriage, and that includes you. Look, you both are together now, and it will be difficult, we are always on the look of people, and sometimes fame becomes a bit suffocating, but I can swear hyung will not let anything bad happens to you. We all see how happy he is with you, and he doesn't need someone like him to be happy. Nobody needs more of the same. Both need someone that is different to be a complete person."

I smiled.

"Thanks, Minho. Now I know why Sam loves you."

He blinked confused.

"What?"

"Nothing." I looked away.

"She seems very nice." He muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Yah!" I pushed his shoulder, because it was clear that he had heard me. "Please don't tell her what i said, or she will kill me."

"I promise." He laughed.

"But... I have not forgotten the strange behavior you had. And the messages, Minho? You smiled with the first one."

Minho sighed.

"I talked to Sam, very often."

A flush sprang from his cheeks, even with the sunlight turned off by the evening it could be seen. I wanted to smile, but... I frowned.

"And the other one?"

"Key sent him. Krystal said that Luna was in the apartament because she wanted to talk to hyung, and I had a bad feeling." We looked at each other. "Listen, now you're part of our family, so consider me as an older brother. Okay? I will be next to you everytime you need me. I promise." He showed his little finger.

I waited a moment, then i smiled and accepted his promise.

"Look at that." He pointed the beautiful sunset scene.

I had fallen in love with Jinki, but I also knew that love came paired with weakness. And I flatly refused to feel weak again. So i had to be who i was; someone who doesn't believe in love. Someone who doesn't suffer with something like this, like i was doing now.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

When the sun went down and the moon took it's place, we were about to get home. For the night my stomach was full because he invited me to dinner, my mind was clear after our conversation, and I felt better after spending the day with Minho.

He parked his car in the garage and his phone.

"Wow." He put the phone next to his ear and laughed as he listened.

After reviewing some of them he blocked his phone and laughed.

"What happened?"

"I have a message that hyung sent at 2 pm, and he literally said; Minho, take my wife back home now. And the others are like that. You have no idea what you're doing with him, Juliette."

"Something bad?"

"Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact."

"He's going crazy." I fell against the seat. "That's great."

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

A world she forgot. Feelings that she could no longer feel. A heart that wasn't beating in a while. A frail body walking into a world of concrete.

I felt all that and more.

"Give some credit to hyung, Juliette." Key said when we entered the apartment. "He's been very worried and sad. He didn't mean to hurt you in any way."

"The poor man has been walking here and there around the room since we arrived." Jong said. "He did. Literally all afternoon. But I think his mind was more tired than his body, so we send him to sleep."

By his side, Tae nodded.

"Please, noona, don't be upset with hyung. He wouldn't be able to be unfaithful to you."

Minho slumped on the couch and nodded too.

"I told you. Although you have the right to be upset. But don't be too hard on him."

"So... I can be upset but I'll just let it be. I think I got it."

Jong laughed.

"Does that mean you're just going to throw him out of the room?"

"No. I'll be more mature than that. I'll pretend that nothing happened. Well... I'm going to sleep." But I stopped before taking a step and looked at them. "And don't you dare to lower the volume of the TV."

The four of them looked at each other as if they had been caught.

"We won't." They answered at the same time.

I walked to the room. I wouldn't make a scene, or ask for explanations, or demand anything. There was no need to know the details because I knew the truth behind that kiss. When I entered the room, Jinki was sleeping on his left side, with his arm under his head. Like him, Gahul also slept with his head on Jinki's arm.

Long time ago my grandfather said that the word hate was too strong for us, but at this time i hated Jinki for being so cute without even trying.

After changing my clothes i left only the lamp on the bedside table on and removed the blanket.

But just with that, they both awoke.

What I could see in his eyes? What didn't i want to see in his eyes?

Gahul stretched his legs and walked unsteadily to me for having awakened. I picked him up and Gahul rubbed his head against my neck.

"I had practiced all afternoon what was going to say, and now i simply forgot it."

"No need to say anything." I left Gahul in the middle of the bed and got into it and i lay on my back. "I don't want you to say anything."

"Angel---"

"She did it, she kissed you. I already know. You don't need you to repeat it."

"But I---"

"I told you no." I turned to him. And my frown disappeared.

"I didn't want to hurt you." He got up on his elbow.

"You didn't."

"But I didn't want---"

I exhaled sharply and rose. I put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him against the bed. My hair fell to one side of his surprised face.

"Say what you want to say. You have 10 seconds." Looking at him from above he looked helpless. I never ever thought I would do this. Ours bodies had touched each time he held me, but now i had a hand on his chest. His hands were in the air and he look up and down throughout me. "You dont have anything to say? Then leave it to me. I'm being patient with this life, with your fans and the little girl who dies of love for you. And I'm trying not to fall on her because she isn't only trying to getting into this marriage, but she's messing with me. And I have a husband who doesn't seem to be able to say anything to her, so don't you blame me if I do it. Since the world knew about this marriage, they think they have the right to say something; She should be with him, or, she is not good for him. But I'm here and apparently there is no going back. That day I said I would be by your side, to protect you even though I know I can't do it, that i would be with you. So I'm trying to protect this marriage, and if it is true what you said that day, I hope you do it too."

I got down from him and i lay on the bed with my back at him.

"Angel... I'm in love with you, so I wouldn't hurt you in any way. Can you trust me?"

I don't think i could say directly what i felt. I just couldn't.

Then you fall in love. His mom said to me once. Done.

But i was too coward to say it out loud.

This chapter is dedicated to my best friend Sandra, and her love for Choi Minho.♥