Thought # 22.

"When is the right time to do something if we are afraid of it?
People say; not today, maybe tomorrow.
But that day never comes.

Like doing bungee Jumping, sometime we just have to jump.

Taking chances.

The brave people are those who at some point in their lives, will realize that fear will not be obstacle to achieving what they want most.
If we jump even if we are scared...

We can be sure that our moment is definitely coming."

FLASHBACK.

In an auditorium full of students, family and friends, Jinwoo stood before the wooden lectern. The applause in unison fell until silence, and everyone's attention focused on the young man who was part of the list of the best students among graduates.

"Now, standing here before all of you, I have the same feeling I felt the first day as a student. I remember the nervous looks, feeling strange in a room where nobody knows you... and the inner fear we feel at the thought that maybe we couldn't make the four years of challenges we all knew would come. But look at yourself now... we are afraid again." He laughed and the audience laughed with him. After all it was true. "But yet here we are, ready to face new challenges, thanks to the knowledge we have acquired over the years, thanks to the confidence in us to be part of a new world. We're not just students learning theory, we are adults who understand the meaning of maturity. For those who were afraid of not being good enough, to those who thought about quitting, or for those who thought perhaps this was not for us; we are here, closing this cycle of life, because this is brave, and like adults, we are here finishing what we started four years ago. Friends, we are now at the finish line ready to go on the run again; but we have to go at our own pace, because only then we will win in this life. Thanks to all for these years, thanks to teachers who taught us more than theory, thanks to the friends we made and that we will never forget. Thanks to all."

Everyone in the audience stood up, and the place exploded in applause, whistles, and thanks, because everything Jinwoo said reflected what each and every one of the graduates felt at that moment. Jinwoo sat next to Juliette and their friends in the front row. This was the moment. This was the day that part of their lives ended, and at the same time start a new cicle.

There was a particular teacher who saw the potential that Juliette had as a student, but especially the potential she had as a photographer. It was thanks to him that Juliette lived for a year the beautiful experience of expressing herself with a camera; more than a teacher, he saw a colleague in her from the beginning. After all, Juliette went to college taking charge of a company.

"Congratulations, mrs. Lee." Professor Kim handed her her diploma and smiled proudly. Juliette could see it in his eyes. "I'm proud of you, Juliette, you've matured a lot since you came, and please stay true to yourself, because you have accomplished much with the way you are. I know that you will do great things for yourself and for others."

FLASHBACK ENDS.

Jinki shouldn't be at the graduation day because he had a tight schedule in Japan. But he was there in my graduation even if he had to leave a few hours later. There was a beautiful gift he had brought with him; a snow globe with a wheel of fortune painted pink and blue, plus some cherry trees in it and the falling snow when i shake the snow globe. I had put the gift on the bedside table, right next to the picture of us in the wedding day. Every time i saw it i remembered the fun day we had at the amusement park. The previous weeks Gahul and i moved to our old house because Dad was in town and I liked his company while Jinki was away, and although I spent most of the day working, it felt weird to return to my house and see dad working in his office. Only now he was with Gahul. The year was about to end and it was necessary to review the production of the company during that time, we should also sort projects for next year. December closed another good year that the company had.

The smell of freshly cooked Korean food came to me from the kitchen, filled my nostrils and made appear a smile on my face; my grandfather had come for graduation two days ago, and with the arrival of Jinki and the boys this morning to Seoul early, grandpa had prepared a variety of Korean dishes. Because home-cooked food is always better. He said. Cooking was one of the few activities that he could do, but no one cooks like him.

Lying in bed, I looked to my right side, and watching him, so innocent, I couldn't help but smile. Jinki slept comfortably on his stomach, his arms hugging the pillow, his body moving gently with each breath, and there was a small, slight smile on his lips. I think he must be tired. And yet he couldn't stop smiling even in dreams, but most importantly; his pajama pants rested on his hips, and he was shirtless.

He was not only an idol for me, he was no longer a stranger, he was my everything now.

"Jinki-ah." I called softly, but he didn't move. "Jinki-ah, wake up." No wonder that he was deeply asleep, the strange thing was he sleeps more hours than normal. I laughed slightly, I got up to bed, and it sank under my weight. I put one foot on either side of his hips and chuckled. "Jinki, Are you awake?"

Nothing. He didn't even make a move. 

So I had to move the bed. I didn't jump, just use my weight to move it enough.

"What are you doing, angel?" Jinki chuckled against the pillow, but his voice was husky.

"Get up now, I'm hungry and want to eat. The last time I didn't wake you up you were angry with me."

"Angel, you know I couldn't be angry with you... never... But I'm hungry too, so hungry. What do we have for breakfast?"

I laughed and sat on his .

"Breakfast? Jinki, it's lunchtime."

"What?" He raised his head toward the clock on the nightstand. The digital clock struck 1:20 in the afternoon, and Jinki rested his cheek against the pillow again. "Angel... Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"You looked like you really wanted to sleep... you looked tired in the morning."

"You made me feel tired last night."

I let out a giggle.

"You came at 4 in the morning... so technically we can't considered it as night."

Jinki chuckled. But now that he mentioned it, my gaze swept his back and then I noticed the marks i left on it. Those marks i left last night and days before, and even before that.

"Jinki... Does your back hurts?"

"No. Why?"

"I... maybe I left some marks there." I ran my fingers down his back and through the exact places. "You sure it doesn't hurt?"

"Do you feel bad about it?"

"Maybe a little." I laughed biting my lip.

"Then maybe I should feel a little guilty about the hickeys I left in your neck... but I'm actually proud of myself."

His way of talking was so calm that i felt the heat on my cheeks. But the way I was sitting was very interesting. Did he feel the tension in his body as well?

"Now I'm sitting here, I understand why you like be on top."

Jinki laughed surprised.

"I can not believe you said that, angel."

"Why not? You're not the only one who can say things like that."

"I already noticed. Come here." He patted the empty place beside him. I leaned on my right side, he leaned on his left side and looked at me with a tired smile, but a loving smile as always. And then I felt his hand drawing my body towards him. "I missed you a lot."

"I missed you too." I whispered against his lips. "I think this is the first time we've been apart so long."

"The worst weeks of my life, angel. I don't know what you have done to me. Next time you will come with me, right?... And the kids, they don't like when I say that you only would come for me."

"Yes, I know. I listened you all on the radio." I chuckled.

"Really?"

"Of course."

FLASHBACK.

Shopping wasn't her favorite way to spend the time, but if it was to spend time with her friends, Juliette didn't mind the place where they were. When they finally finished shopping, Juliette, Jinwoo and Danny sat at a store in the mall to eat ice cream. She looked up with a smile to people passing by. The shops were painted in strong and bright colors. People who spent chatting cheerful and all enjoyed a good time like them.

"I'm so tired." Danny complained stretching her arms over her head. As SHINee designer, Sam was in Japan with them. "Next year will be amazing, guys, for all of us; Jinwoo will be a film director, Juliette is making the business grow every day, and Sammy is growing up as a designer."

"Not to mention that Seoul, the city of fashion, it's opening many doors for you, Dan." Jinwoo said.

"That's true." Danny laughed. "And while Sammy is not here and although we miss her a lot, I'm glad to be here with you two."

"Me too." Juliette answered.

"Hey, Sam said that the boys would be presented at a radio station. Should we listen?"

Juliette wanted, but she didn't want to force Jinwoo to sit and listen to Jinki after so many bad encounters.

"Maybe not now, Dan---"

"Why not?" Jinwoo said. "Let's listen."

Danny pulled her tabled from her purse and searched online radio station.

"Well, guys, we're back in your favorite program." The MC said. "And you asked for them, so this afternoon SHINee is here with us."

Jinki's voice was exactly as it sounded in her phone when she heard him singing. She didn't know how many times she had played "In Your Eyes" because that seemed the only way she felt with him. All she could do to imagine him by her side was close her eyes and let his voice take her to another place, to that perfect moment that she always felt when she was at his side. The boys talked about their concerts in Japan, new projects, and answered questions from the fans.

"Onew-ssi." The MC said. "Another question we want to do is... How is the marriage going? We've seen the teasers of your participation in the new drama... It has caused problems in the happy marriage? "

She could hear the laughter of the boys in the background.

"It has been months since the wedding, but still, every day i discover something new at this moment in my life, but it is better than I imagined. Luckily my wife is not jealous, in fact she is who gives me the motivation to continue."

"Onew-ssi, tell me... You have already talked about babies?"

Juliette tried not open in surprise, but she could feel her cheeks burn. Danny laughed, and this time, the guys didn't flinch to laugh either.

"For although some think that we have little time as a married couple, we have already talked about the idea of ​​having a baby. But i guess life will decide that. But personally, having a baby now would make me very happy."

"Aigo..." Key laughed. "That question is also for us because we are worried that the baby will inherit the Onew condition... it's contagious."

"A baby?" Minho asked and laughed. "That will make us really happy."

"And what about Juliette-ssi?"

"Noona is a good person, I'll definitely wait for their baby." Tae said.

"Juliette has a big personality for her height." Jonghyun laughed. "But both have a good heart, but like Tae said, we will wait for their baby."

"The members seem to love the leader's wife."

"Sometimes too much." Jinki said.

"We love Juliette." Key said. "She is great and changed our lives for best."

"Also reminded us that we are people too." Minho said, and Juliette recalled how he helped her. Juliette recalled the beautiful place where Minho took her.

Before leaving, the MC asked Onew to leave a message for his wife.

"Angel, I'm still learning how to be a good husband to you, but if you wait for me, I'll be the best husband in the world. We'll have a happy marriage. I love you!"

FLASHBACK ENDS.

"I will not say anything just because Danielle was there too." Jinki lifted his chin to show dignity, talking about that Jinwoo was with us that day. I was about to laugh, but his gaze turned serious. "But that's not all that happened, right?"

"I know you are not ashamed to go out after the problem you caused. Nothing good can be expected from you." Doorim, Hyorin's best friend was equally direct with her words. Although she didn't know me either, because she only let herself be guided by her friend. I never thought I would find her that day at the mall, and I never thought she would talk to me that way.

"You just came back. How did you know?"

But most likely it was that Danny has told Sam, and somehow the story ended in Jinki's ears.

"No matter how I found out, but you should've told me."

"Why does it matter? I didn't fight with anyone."

He wasn't convinced, but he smiled squeezing his arms around me, and when I closed my eyes, i felt the contact with his skin.

People thought i didn't deserved him?

That question was hanging in my head since that day after talking to Doorim. It was painful and frustrating. Sometimes i thought i didn't deserve Jinki, but i was trying. How hard would I have to fight to have a simple life? What would i have to do to prove that I was not as they thought? But I was giving myself an opportunity to be better, and maybe if I kept thinking this way, people would be able to give me a chance too.

"Tonight's Jinwoo's party." I said. 

Jinki sighed.

"Do we really have to go?"

"You don't want me to answer that... right?"

"I'd rather not." He laughed slightly. "Angel, you had felt very tired these days---"

"It doesn't matter. Even if i'm dying we will go."

"Yah..." He slapped my playfully. "We don't say the word die or divorce. Those words are forbidden in this marriage."

"You could have said that without touching me."

"Last night you touched me there too."

I laughed against his skin, but when my lips touched his chest, his breath turned heavy.

Up until my lips touched his.

"Now?" He breathed against my parted lips. "Yeah, now."

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

After this night, Jinwoo would fly to Paris.

After talking with Shin & Minha, I made my way back to the sofa in the club, greeting my ex college classmates, who moved to the rhythm of the songs of the club, while ceiling lights pointed in all directions and lit their bracelets and neon necklaces. For a moment I left the greetings and used my hand to gently rub my eye, my vision seemed to burn due to fatigue. I felt that the previous weeks. And unfortunately, fatigue and wear heels were not the best combination because i was feeling tired. But I changed my expression when Jinki rose from the couch in a corner of the club before I got there and he walked towards me.

"There you are." He smiled as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I put my hands on his arms and smiled. But i knew what he was doing; Jinki didn't seem to trust that i could handle the heels tonight.

"Stop it, Jinki. I'm okay."

His smile fell and looked at me thoughtfully.

"I think you shouldn't use them from now on."

I had a white dress and jean jacket, and for some reason Sam had suggested not to use such high heels.

"Why not?"

Jinki shifted his weight from foot to foot. I looked forward for his answer because he seemed to have something important to say. He looked at me with a nervous smile.

"You know, you've been very tired these days and we should try to alleviate that, right? I want my little angel be okay, that's all."

We sat on the couch with Sam, Danny, the other members and Krystal. I was not the right person for him, but maybe Krystal was. Jinki smiled as he slipped his arm around my waist, because for her eyes, Jinki had changed for good.

Jinwoo was at the bar with some friends, and when they left, I knew I had to talk to him. I looked at Krystal, but she didn't have to worry after a global notice.

After clarification between the alleged affair between Jo Jinwoo and Lee Juliette, we have comment the new romance between Jo Jinwoo & Jung Krystal. Are we seeing a new couple? Please, let's continue to support the healthy and pure love of these young couple.

"I'm glad you came, Juls." Jinwoo repeated, and had a wistful smile on his face. "I know you've been tired these days."

"Why do people keep repeating that? But I said I will never leave you, even when I thought about it after you get into that problem again."

"You couldn't keep paying for something you didn't do, Juliette, for something I did. I am also older than you, and I promised to your brothers that i would take care of you."

"And you've done great." I smiled. "No one has taken care of me better than you."

He smiled.

"I will really miss you."

"I am going to miss you too, Jinwoo. Even with the problems and all, no matter where you are, i know we will be okay. Honestly... I don't worry about losing you, because I know that you will never leave me. "

"Never. You, Sam, Danny and I are going to be friends forever. And I have something for you." He lifted the sleeve of his leather jacket and unfastened a gold bracelet, grabbed my arm and held it around my wrist. The bracelet had a pendant of the Eiffel Tower, one of a camera, a postcard, and a pearl. I smiled at the bracelet and then at him. "I wanted to give it to you long ago, but I think I didn't find the right time. Now you'll have something to remember me."

"I'll never forget you, silly." I got up and hugged him, standing and sitting him, our heights were almost equal. Jinwoo laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I'll think of you every day."

"Me too."

I patted his back affectionately and i pulled away. We were friends for almost a lifetime, and we would be friends to the end. With the bracelet on my wrist and a smile on our faces, we returned with the others.

"Onew." Jinwoo said. Onew returned the nod. "Thanks again for coming, guys. And if you don't mind, I would like to take this young lady with me."

I chuckled when Jinki straightened his shoulders thinking that this lady was me, until Jinwoo extended his hand to Krystal, she took it and they left.

"Nice bracelet."

I lowered my jean jacket sleeve.

"Please don't do that."

"Was necessary to hug him?"

"Yes."

He shook his head.

"You come with me to the bathroom, Juliette?" Sam gave Minho a nervous smile. Minho nodded and Sam and I got up. Before walking, Sam looked at Danny with a smile. "You can stay... it's okay."

Anyway, Danny was talking to Jonghyun.

Jinki understood, the bond i had with Jinwoo was just as strong as the one I have with my brothers. When we entered the bathroom I sat in the bathroom washing while Sam washed her hands just to buy time.

"Jinki is just jealous, Juliette." Sam wiped her hands with a paper towel. "Don't give much importance to the matter."

"I know... But it would be too much to ask them to get along?"

"No. But not now. They may do so in the future. I think they are still getting used to share you. I must also say that it is fun to watch him jealous."

"Everything he does looks adorable you, Sam." I jumped from the bathroom washing and walked toward the door. "Everything."

"Hey, just the things he does for you."

I opened the bathroom door and we went out, but a few steps later I hit my arm with someone who came out from nowhere.

"Sorry." I said to the girl who didn't stop.

"A sorry would be nice, my friend." Sam said.

And then the girl with the short hair turned.

"Hyorin?" I said in surprise, Sam was also surprised.

And now i was sure it was on purpose.

"Unnie..." Her face contracted in concern, and almost seemed real. "I'm sorry, but you shouldn't get in my way."

My face was expressionless, it was typical of her. And beside me, Sam laughed sarcastically.

"What are you doing here?" I cocked my head. "I can't believe Jinwoo have invited you."

"Maybe she came in when no one was looking." Sam said in english.

Sammy was only giving moral support, but i didn't want her to be like that.

"Just so you know, he invited me." Hyorin glared at Sam before looking at me. "We are still friends after all."

"Well, have fun then." I took Sam's hand to make her walk.

"By the way, nice pictures of you cheating him... How sould i call you now: Liar, or Unfaithful?"

I stopped walking; It was exactly what that person told me in the messages. My heart was beating so fast: I had made the same mistake a hundred times, and it was easy to get carried away, so I shook my head and kept walking.

"I thought your marriage would end when he knew about your infidelity."

I had to end this constant hate if I could, so I approached her. No more fighting with anyone.

"We need to stop fighting, Hyorin. I don't know why you hate me so much, but just let's put end of this."

"Wow. Doorim was right... you seems to have changed." She ran her eyes up and down my body. "She told me that she met you in the mall, but people like you don't change." And she came to me as if she would tell a secret. "You have what you shouldn't have, and you will lose it because you don't deserve anything."

And she pulled away.

"So you're upset because Jinwoo left you, or because I have someone who will never be yours? In any case, I don't force any of them to stay with me."

"Enjoy it while you can, because any accident can happen." 

I frowned. 

"Get over it and move on with your life, Hyorin. This is pathetic."

She narrowed her eyes at me, and without see it coming, the sound of a slap was silenced by the loud music. My vision was clouded by confusion, and unfortunately I was like a wick, but before my fist met her nose, someone took me by the waist and pulled me back. I tried to remove the hand that Jinki pressed around me.

"Go away, Hyorin." Sam said getting in front of her, while I watched in frustration to still Jinki was holding me. "I warn you, Juliette will not stop once she has you in her hands, and let's say that to my knowledge, you are not good to defend yourself... And believe me, you deserve a good beat up."

But giving me a cold look, Hyorin went away.

I exhaled deeply.

"Can you let me go now, please?"

Jinki let go of me but remained standing beside me.

"You should teach a lesson to the girl." Sam said. "She needs a lesson... Maybe I should give her one."

"That does not help, Sammy." Minho said, smiling secretly. "Are you okay, Julie?"

"No." I groaned, but i was acting immaturely, and felt I was about to have a tantrum, so regaining my composure i lowered my voice. "Yes, I am, thank you."

"Angel?"

"What?" I asked, staring at the road that Hyorin went. I didn't want to act as this, but it was difficult to change the bad old ways. Bad habits were that hardest to forget.

"You must stop fighting..." Jinki used two fingers to take my chin, and his other hand my cheek burning. "That could hurt our baby."

My frown disappeared when I stared at him; we had made comments like that, we talk about the possibility of having a baby, but he had said that like we really, really were expecting one. Maybe it was his worried gaze when our eyes met.

"Don't say things like that." I said in a firm voice and I pulled away. The air became hot and I could hardly breathe. "That's not funny now."

"It is you who has behaved strange these weeks, angel, and you've felt very tired. I mean tired tired, and that's a symptom of pregnancy."

"That proves nothing." I complained.

"Angel..." Jinki stared at me, and his lips hid a smile. "Now you eat seafood."

My gaze was lost somewhere in the room. I did eat it now, because the seafood, after 24 years, tasted delicious. Jinki looked at Sam, and remembering that she was there, I squinted at her. But strangely, Sam exchanged glances with Minho and they laughed.

"Tell her, hyung." Minho said, pursing his lips, clearly struggling not to laugh.

"This is kinda awkward, but I am the one who is suffering the symptoms of your pregnancy, angel; it called Couvade Syndrome. And i don't know how many times I ran to the bathroom during filming our music video because i felt sick, i spend most of our time sleeping, and now I am hungrier than ever in my life. I mean, I know the baby is inside you because of me, but---"

"Yah!" My cheeks burned with shame even when everyone in the room knew clearly how a baby was made.

"I think we made the baby during the time we were in America. That explains why we have felt so tired this weeks. Besides... your grandfather told me that your father went through the same thing with his twins."

And then I heard myself laughing nervously; My father always told us that story. My shoulders slumped.

"Come." Jinki took my hand and his heat made me feel better. "Let's go out."

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

Sitting on Jinki car's hood, with shoes touching the ground and fresh air on my face, thinking about this was much easier. Jinki stood in front of me, hands on my knees and a smile on his face.

"But how could i not feel it? I should feel it.“ I was about to cry. I was afraid. But this could explain everything I had felt these days. i felt so different... What are we going to do? My stomach clenched, I knew that this would happen someday, but could i be a good mother? And his career? "I'm sorry."

"Angel, no... please, look at me." He said softly. I looked at him, and then he kissed me gently. "Why you sorry for? Thinking that you're pregnant is the best thing that could have happened to me since we got married. If we do have a baby, it means that life decided we're ready to have one."

I tried to smiled.

"We'll be very lucky. Don't you think?"

"The most luckiest couple in this world. And I think we should start looking for a house."

"A big house for the baby and Gahul."

Jinki chuckled.

"A house where they both can grow up."

I sighed, but if this was happening, it was happening in a very, very special night for him. I pulled up his jacket sleeve looking for this wristwatch.

12:15 after midnight.

"Happy birthday to you, Jinki." I smiled.

He smiled that sweet smiled of his.

Hi, everyone! THANK YOU FOR READING ♥ XOXO. - V