Thought # 12.

"When we are with someone, we became one person with that someone.

One heart.

I would like to say that when we are in love everything is perfect.

It should be that way.

But life have to tests our love.

To see if after all life made those two heart to fit perfectly as one." 

The place where he spent his childhood felt like a real home.

It was cute thinking about a little Jinki running down his living room. I imagined him coming down the stairs when his mother called him for breakfast. Or playing in the backyard with his friends. There were photos of him in the living room. His smile reflected how happy he had been as a child. When i saw his parents, i understood the reason why he had grown up with many good values ​​and a big heart.

"He looks so happy." I smiled at the pictures. His mother smiled at her son too. Good morning, darling. How have you been? His mother was so sweet and so attentive as his father. He was a reflection of both. Everyday Jinki woke up and said; Good morning, angel. Did you sleep well? "He's adorable."

"Thanks, sweetie."

In the past weeks i have begun to call him by his real name. maybe in the next few weeks i would be able to call them mom and dad because they wanted it that way, and because i wanted to do it too.

"Honey." Her husband called from the dining room. "Breakfast is ready."

I smiled to myself.

We walked to the dining room where Mrs. Lee sat next to her husband.

"Honey, breakfast is ready." Jinki said and sat across the table next to me.

"Ow, that's very sweet, Jinki-ah." I chuckled.

He laughed like his parents.

"Lately she likes to say that."

His parents laughed and breakfast began.

"And tell me, Juliette, How is the company going?" His father asked. "Your father told me that the shares have risen in the last months. You're doing well, sweetheart."

"You're doing a good job, honey." His mom smiled and Jinki nodded.

"Thank you." I said sincerely. "It's a team effort, actually. But I've tried to always be at the workers side to do a good job. There has been very good projects to work on and that's why the company has had a good start to the year."

"Any project you're interested in? Maybe there is something that has your full interest."

"Yes." I bit my lip, feeling a little bit shy. "In fact there is one, but it has nothing to do with the company. It's something more personal."

Jinki stopped eating and looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

"It's Okay, angel. Whatever it is. I know you can do it."

I looked at him too, silently thanking him for his way of being. He had just learned to feel my feelings in my voice.

"Thank you. I just... is a project that my friends and I did for college, but we want to make it happen."

"Whatever the project is, honey, if you put all your heart and effort will come true." His mom said. 

"Thank you. To all. You too, Jinki-ah." I chuckled.

"You're welcome, angel." He chuckled too.

"I see that your relationship has improved a lot in recent weeks." His father said and smiled. "Glad to see you get along very well."

"I think that happened in Lottle World." His mother laughed like a teenager. She was so lovely as her son. "It's good to see that you both have become close. Maybe now we can expect a grandchild."

And like his father, Jinki choked on the food. The blood rose to my cheeks as i gave him pats on the back.

"What?" His mom complained. "I said nothing out of this world."

"Mom." Her child complained too as his father began to laugh at the frankness with which his wife spoke. "You can't say things like that."

"What do you think about that, Juliette?" His dad asked.

Jinki looked at me intently.

He had been the first to mention the idea of having children in the future. Do you think our children will want a dog? I didn't know how to call our relationship. Friends don't kiss. And we couldn't live being friends forever.

Life doesn't stop at friendship.

"I like kids." With a shy smile, I shrugged.

"You have seen her with her nephew." Jinki said.

"You two were adorable." His Mom said. "But I still think that someday you will give us a grandchild."

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

It seemed that the time had passed without anyone noticing, and now it was time for SHINee to record a new music video again. The concept was different from the previous ones, but the melody was excellent as the words. In recent days their routine had become of recordings, dance and costume design. Not to mention the previous concerts, radio programs and variety shows they attended.

The morning was almost over and dance practice had left them tired. Being back in the rehearsal room brought me a sense of dejavu like at other times i was here. But luckily everything has been peaceful in recent weeks.

"You know what I was thinking?" Jonghyun asked and attracted everyone's attention.

"What?" Key said, sitting on the wooden floor. "What brilliant idea came to your mind this time?"

"We missed the opportunity to give hyung a bachelor party." Jong Chuckled.

Key spat the water in his mouth and everyone laughed more.

"If you didn't noticed it, Jong, Onew's wife is here." Said the manager Jin Choi and pointed at me with subtlety, as if I wouldn't see that he was doing that. Of all their managers, he was closer to me. "I don't think his wife would like to think of her husband surrounded by other girls. Imagine that! Juliette could get angry with Onew and finally throwing him out of her room."

"Now is their room." Key said.

"But he would sleep on the couch again." Minho laughed.

"You're in trouble, hyung." Taemin said and Jinki looked at him in disbelief.

"Yah! I haven't done anything. I didn't even think about a bachelor party!"

"You don't?" I cocked my head and looked at him curiously.

"Of course not, angel!" He complained. "Why? Have you?"

"No." I giggled when all of them looked at me. "I already said no. I don't need men dancing around me." I laughed at the thought. "Not at all."

Key laughed too while Minho shook his head, but Jinki looked at me with an expressionless face.

"That doesn't seem funny to me."

"Okay, okay. Sorry." I wrapped my arms around his right arm and pushed him. Jinki liked these things, because it made him feel close to me. He felt there was trust between the two.

The others laughed at how quickly he had changed his expression.

"You're so easy to convince, hyung." Jong laughed.

"Women have great power." Taemin said.

"Not just any woman." Minho patted his back. "It's the right woman."

But Choi Jin smiled with satisfaction.

"Say no more things like that, Jong. We don't want to ruin the happiness of the happy couple. Besides... I've heard that Juliette is a jealous person."

"I am not." I said quickly. I didn't care anymore about the scene that Jinki had in his latest music video. Danielle had participated in View as the fifth girl and she was the one who had been shown me the script. But then i noticed that Jinki was watching me curiously. I pulled my red cheeks from his eyes and looked at the manager. "How do you know... I mean... why do you think I am?"

"A little bird told me." He laughed. "But don't worry, Juliette. The girl who will participate in our next video will get an almost kiss scene with another member."

"Who?" Minho asked. "Who is the girl, hyung?"

"Don't rejoice too soon, guys. I said almost kiss. Don't get confuse. But Juliette knows her very well."

"Oh!" I found the answer in his smile. "Is Danielle again. Isn't she?"

"You're excited, angel." Onew chuckled at my joy.

"But she's a model." Jong stared in disbelief and smiled. "It's my turn? Am I, hyung?"

"Why don't we discussed that in the conference room?" He answered looking at his wristwatch. "The meeting will begin now, guys. Take your bottles and let's go. You can come too, Juliette."

"No. I prefer to wait here. Thanks." I smiled.

"You don't have to be alone, angel." Jinki said. "I'd rather if you didn't."

"Nothing is going to happen." I was blushing from the others' looks. He was always attentive to me no matter where. "I will wait here. I'll read a bit in the meantime."

When they left all was a pleasant silence. I released the numbness out of my body and pulled a book from my backpack.

5 pages.

8 pages.

14 pages when the door opened.

"Luna?" I looked at both sides of the room as if she had come to the wrong place. "Good morning."

"Can I come in, unnie?" She walked in when i nodded. I held my breath until she sat down in front of me. But i had decided to forget what happened that day, so I had to be nice. "How have you been? How's married life?"

"I've been good, thanks. And... there haven't been big changes. Yesterday or now, everything is great."

"Ah! That's good." She smiled, but happiness didn't reach her pretty eyes. "So... How did you guys meet? You both have been friends since childhood, right? Wow... that's really a long time."

"Yes, since our childhood." I swallowed. Suddenly my mind was painted white.

I had no idea how we met. I didn't like lying and I knew it was wrong, and lying to everyone made me feel bad. But luckily no one seemed to doubt about our story.

"You really know him. Don't you?"

Not too much. But i couldn't change what Luna and the world knew already about he and I.

"Yes."

"Well... I wanted to apologize to you."

I frowned in confusion.

"Excuse me?"

"I shouldn't do what I did when we first met." She lowered her head. "I acted without thinking and I became a bad person and a bad friend."

Luna seemed to feel guilty. No matter what people say about me, i wasn't a vindictive person, so I reached out my hand to take hers. Maybe say something comforting, but then Luna looked up.

"He's lying to you."

"What?" My hand fell.

"I hate to see him lying to you, unnie. Jinwoo-ssi almost go to EE.UU because Onew Oppa."

"How do you know that?" I said. Jinki may not approve the closeness relationship between Jinwoo and i, but he wouldn't be able to do something like that. He wouln't do anything to hurt me. "Why are you saying this?"

"Because it's true. Onew oppa told me. I only say what I heard, it is not fair to you what your husband has done. right?"

She hadn't even blinked when she said it.

"Why should I believe in you, Luna?"

"Have you seen the variety programs, unnie? He and I are very close friends. You think Onew Oppa would feel confident after Jinwoo-ssi confess his love for you? Everyone knows how close you are with your best friend. That bond is too strong. Onew Oppa might be felt threatened. But don't blame him, perhaps he only did it because he felt insecure about you."

"What makes you think I will not tell him this?"

"Because he didn't believe you when you said we fought. Here everyone knows who I am... and well, everyone know who you are."

"You're wrong." I got up; I didn't have to continue this conversation. I was very confused to follow it. "Nobody really knows you. I have been a troublemaker, yes, but I'm not a liar like you."

i left the rehearsal room to go the bathroom, pressing hard the hem of my sweater. I couldn't act on impulse. I just needed that first meeting with Luna to know that she would become a problem in my life.

I looked myself at the mirror, the drops ran down my face as i remembered what Jinwoo told me before going to Paris. If Dad didn't find out about me, I'd have been by your side even after you knew the truth about my feelings for you. He was confused, but he wouldn't have gone from my side. Because even with a confession like that from my best friend, i never would wanted him to leave either.

After a while, I returned to the room where the boys were waiting for me. I had to know if it was true or not. I was even asking for it is not true, because i didn't know how to react if what Luna said was true. And that would change everything i knew about Jinki. 

"It was you who said the true about Jinwoo, Onew?"

"Who... What?"

Why he doubted? i was so intimidating or it was true what Luna said? I had a strong personality, and that could influence in someone so sweet like him.

It could not be true. He wouldn't do such a bad thing.

"It was you, right?" My shoulders slumped. Why disappointment feels worse than anger?

"Angel..." Jinki came and tried to take my hand.

I pulled my hand away. I knew how easy it would be get confused with his touch.

"No! Just... just answer me."

"Juliette..."

"Just answer the question."

"It was me."

The boys looked at him surprised.

His answer ruined completely everything i knew about him. The room seemed to spin and there was a phrase that appeared in my mind like a quiet whisper. Alone, you were going to be alone. I didn't think, and then i slapped him.

"Juliette!" Key Yelled.

Taemin put his fist to his mouth.

"You can not do that." Jonghyun said.

Minho and Taemin couldn't speak, and Jinki looked at me in silence.

"It will not happen again, because this ends here. Arranged marriage or not, I will not take it anymore. I'm done with this."

I tried to turn around when Jinki took my wrist. His fingers tightened around me and i felt his heat.

"Leave us alone, please." He said without looking them, because Jinki was looking at me. "Now."

They looked for an answer in their eyes, but the answer was there and they came out slowly.

"I don't want to talk, Onew. Just let me go." I pulled my wrist, he released me and i walked to the door.

"I am Onew again?"

I stopped halfway to the door.

"That's your name. Isn't it?"

"It feels like you were rejecting me." And he put himself in front of the door. "Stop acting like a child so we can talk about it."

Jinki has changed and his eyes reflected the security he felt. I laughed sarcastically, his confident side had appeared and i was happy to see it.

"Move or I'll hit you."

"You have a little hand, but I must admit that hurt." Jinki chuckled passing a hand over his cheek.

"Just move."

"Do it. Keep acting like a little girl." He shrank of shoulders. "I'll wait until you actually act like a grown person so we can talk."

I had to leave, I could feel my tears coming.

"I am being mature? I'm giving you a warning before i do something."

"You want to hit me?" He said and took my hands to put them on his chest. "Hit me."

I was doing a tantrum, and i felt embarrassed because i haven't learned to handle bad situations, so I put my hand on his chest and hide my face in it as Jinki hug me.

"The night you noticed that your bracelet was gone we were on the roof, remember? Then I took you to sleep and I was by your side because you were cold. Your phone rang but i didn't want you to wake up. So I answered and it was your father; he needed you to go home and to give Mr. Jo some papers. And I did it. I went to Mr. Jo company and he invited me to sit with him. He asked to look after you like Jinwoo would do it. We talked and I said I did understand why you liked to help the drama club after you fought with Hyorin. Because you could spend more time with Jinwoo, and I realized what I said and closed my mouth. I thought he didn't notice it but ---"

"Why, Onew?" I pulled myself back. "I just had Jinwoo, and he almost leave because of you..."

"Does this mean you're going to leave me?"

I looked at an empty spot in the room.

"No."

I left the room without looking at him and a tear ran down my cheek. He would never understand how deep was the fear of feeling alone. I wiped my face and laughed wearily; maybe i was going crazy, but i was feeling things that I had forgotten. I hadn't cried in a long time and suddenly that little drop that my fingers erased meant that the wall i had created inside of me was falling.

I exhaled deeply every feeling i was hiding.

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

On a summer day a few people gathered at the cafe near the college to hang out. Sunlight entered through the large glass window and gave a beautiful glow to the place. The cafeteria was filled with laughter coming from everywhere around and humor mixed with the taste of cold drinks served today.

Jinwoo hadn't even begun his official classes, but he was still there for the seminars. And i was still not used to his absence.

"Are you okay, Juliette?" I stopped playing with the straw from my glass and looked up. I caught the curious stares of Shin and Minha. "Something happened?"

"No." I put an elbow on the table and rested my chin in my hand giving them both a dull look. "Why?"

"Her sarcasm is noticeable." Minha squinted at her boyfriend and then back to me.

"Everything's fine, guys." I chuckled. "But you know something, I would like to do something today. Let's get drunk!"

My friends ended in a laugh. I laughed with them, after all it was a joke.

"Let's see." Shin said. "Did something happen with your husband? Or did something happen in your intimacy?"

Minha hit him in the shoulder.

My mouth fell open in shame and felt the heat rising to my cheeks. That's what people thought we did? In the eyes of the world who believed in our childhood friendship we were a married couple who lived a marriage. I put my arms on the table and buried my face in them; i growled low, I was sure that that thought had been on the minds of those who knew about us.

"I think it's that." Shin said.

"Ugh! Shut up." I raised my head and a lock of my hair flew to my face. I breathed in annoyance and looked at him with distaste. Couldn't i take a step without people talk about it? "You're a ert, Lee Shin. I don't know how you have a girlfriend."

"He's lucky." Minha answered. "Sorry, unnie. But you know well that it is not a lie, right? I'm sorry you have to go through this. That's the trouble with being the wife of an idol, I guess." But she was so sweet that gave me a warm smile. "But it's worth, right?"

I swallowed. And my mind went back one hour ago. I had become so cold that I had forgotten what it felt cry.

"Yes." I replied. it worth it, because I was discovering things about myself thanks to him.

"Listen, Julie." Shin straightened in his seat and smiled fondly. "Don't let these things affect you. You're stronger than you think and I know you will learn to ignore the bad things that might come to pass. If this is what you really want; your spirit will never be broken. Don't let anyone try it either."

He smiled. And I was grateful to have friends like them now that Jinwoo was not here with me.

Sam, Danny, Jinwoo, Shin, Minha. Over the years i had managed to find great friendships.

"You know it was a joke what I said a moment ago. Don't you? About that you're a ert."

"Of course." He laughed and showed his fist to me and i hit it.

"You know what? I have an idea." Minha smiled and looked at us. "Why don't we go over the weekend and make a little trip to the mountains? We can visit the town. It would be great fun and we get away from the routine of the city. On Monday we'll be ready for classes."

"That's a great idea, Jagiya." Shin kissed her cheek and she laughed. "What do you think about that, Juliette?"

"I think that's definitely a great idea."

–––––– BEAUTIFUL ANGEL ––––––

My small suitcase now was ready and i was excited.

Maybe disappear for a few days was what I needed to do for everything get back to normal. I wasn't used to the idea of ​​always being under the gaze of others... not yet. It was hard to be part of a this life and time kept moving without stopping, so i had to learn fast if i wanted to be by his side.

"Angel?" I turned toward the sound of his voice. Jinki stood in the doorway watching the suitcase as if he was frightened of it. Sometimes a suitcase means goodbye.

"This is not what it seems. I---"

"What are you doing?!" Key froze in the door when he saw the suitcase. "You can't leave us!"

"I told you---"

"Juliette, you can't leave!" Jonghyun shouted from somewhere in the house and came to the room.

Minho and Taemin followed him, and they started talking at once.

Jinki was the only quiet in the room. He was speechless. We had already gone through this kind of situation before, and although in none of them i had mentioned that i would leave the department, it was something they could read between lines. I bit my lips to see how ridiculous this was. So i put my fingers on my lips and whistled. Everyone looked surprised at each other.

"Stop, please You all are so loud. Now everyone will be in silent because you all are going to make me crazy. No!" I raised a finger in the air to silence Key. "Now I have to talk, okay? Sit down, please." I nodded toward the bed.

Jinki was the only one who didn't sit.

"Mr. Lee, focus, please." I led him to the bed and sat him down. It took the desk chair and put it in front of them. I sat there and looked at them all, with a laugh that ended in a sigh. "Listen, guys. Please don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes you are a kind of..." I gestured with my hands to find the word. "You're kind of... silly. You all just started talking and talking and none of you heard me when I tried to tell you that I'm not leaving. Well, yes, but not in the way you believe. And you began to say that i shouldn't leave and i even heard you were going to lock me up here. Thanks for that, Jong." I said sarcastically and sighed. "Now. You can speak. But one at a time."

Everyone looked at each other, and they looked at their leader.

His lip trembled before speaking.

"Where are you going, angel?"

"My friends invited me out for the weekend."

"Is not that something we should talk about?"

"Maybe." I shrugged. "So what? I can't go if my husband doesn't want that? Anyone can respond that."

Jong raised his hand to answer as if this were a class.

"You can talk, Jong." I raised an eyebrow. "But think hard about what you are gonna say."

He lowered his hand.

"So... are we done?" The four of them said yes so the group therapy ended. "Then you can go now. Go and... " I cocked my head. "I don't know. Do what you must do."

"Minho hyung, I thought you said noona had a power over her husband." Taemin whispered as they left the room. "But I think she has it with us all."

"Don't you see her? It will be better if we listen to her." Minho said.

"I think that's a good idea." Jong said.

"Just once in a while." Key said and closed the door.

They weren't the same as they seen on TV. I shook my head and got up to sit beside Jinki.

"Why are you like that? It's just a weekend."

"Shouldn't we talk about what happened?"

I sighed looking straight ahead.

"I'm sorry I slapped you, really. But a lot has happened in just one morning. My mind is confused as my heart. And sometimes days like this are so stressful."

"I'm sorry, angel."

"No, no. Don't say that. Just..." Why things happened this way? The days were better when nobody tried anything to pull us apart. "Come with me to the reception. My friends should be here."

He nodded.

It wasn't a goodbye but it felt like one all the way down. There appeared to be no intermediate; or our relationship was excellent, or it was a mess. There wasn't a middle point.

On the street, my friends waited in Shin's car.

I stopped in front of him to take my small suitcase and smiled.

"I don't wanna say goodbye to you." He said.

Maybe someday we could stay strong when life turns against us. Strong as one person.

"Take care of him." I put Levy on his chest, then, i pressed my lips against his, softly. "Don't say goodbye." I walked slowly backwards, my eyes still on him. "I will see you sooner than you think."

Jinki sighed; after all, we knew that everything will be okay.

"Take care and have a lot of fun, angel."

Hi, everyone. There you have a new chapter.
Hope you like it.

♫♫♫♫♫♫♫

Did you heard SHINee's new song? It's soooo beautiful.

Onew's voice is perfect when he sing ballads.
All of them were perfect as always.
But you heard Minho's falsetto?
I have no words.

As always, SHINee gave us an amazing song.