Hello, hello.

"Uhm, are you alright?" Tao brings me back to reality. "You look kind of… pale. Even paler than you are anyway. Gosh, you really need to start going outside frequently. But nevermind that, you alright?"

I shake my head, trying to breathe constantly. Like normal persons do, you know. "Yes. I just… had a vision. Kind of. You know. Mentalist like. I'm the brain." I say, actually not tripping as I'm getting out of Kris' huge car. No Onew condition today, I'm proud. Park Chanyeol is already making me a better person.

Oh my god, that guy…

The thought of him makes the ground shake for me. Shake it baby, yeah. It's not like it's absolutely not normal to get worked up like this. Stay cool girl, you got this. It's only a guy, looking like god. It's okay. He's probably a mutant. That would explain his ears.

Teenage mutant ninja crack supplier…

God, I really need to stop smoking pot.

Tao shrugs my weird response off. He's kinda dense. "Kris seems to be busy," he only says. 

Is that jealousy I hear in his voice? What a .

I look up from the still shaking ground to see that Kris indeed seems to be busy - talking to my future husband and his manwhore friend. This kinda startles me.

"He seems to be friends with Park Chanyeol."

I only nod at his theory, not trying to look too satisfied. If I'd open my mouth, I'd scream like that time Jonghyun decided to nearly Taemin on stage. But this is better.

It's real.

Kris, you're going to be my ticket to luck. Finally it's useful knowing all those losers.

"Who cares." Yeah, act like this doesn't interest you. You got this. You're the great pretender and your shampoo smells like a huge ing coconut, there's nothing you can't do. "Let's go inside. Chen's molesting Yixing again."

Tao nods to approach Chen touching Yixing's waist and Yixing looking like a child, but not without me giving Park Chanyeol a last glance. 

Romantic like I am.

My heart skips a beat as our eyes actually meet. His deep, black eyes looking inside of mine like those of a puppy. 

Cherry blossoms fall, my hair blows aesthetically in the wind. He sparkles, roses appear around his face. I feel impregnated. I'm going to give birth to a mini bastard right now if this continues.

Not being able to find the courage to smile at him, I hurriedly turn away and enter the shop.

"Minseok, I think I'm in love."

The boy with the chubby cheeks instantly jumps, looking up from the ingredients list of the bottle of salsa sauce in his hands. "God, don't scare me like this." Shaking his head he turns back to the salsa sauce.

For a moment I feel bad for startling him, but then I remember that I don't care about the emotions of others, so I start kicking his leg instead to get his attention back. "Xiuxiu, this is serious business."

"Wait, you're serious?" He suddenly looks concerned ", it's Yixing again, isn't it? Look, I've told you a hundred times, I know he's pretty, but after that Burger King incident it should be clear that-"

I suddenly understand why Luhan took a on his desk. Stupid steamed bun.

"Oh, stop it! I'm not talking about that weirdo. I mean, yeah. He's hot and cute and great and pretty agile, that would be a great advantage in bed, but..."

I suddenly remember the time I actually thought that I had genuine feelings for the huge pothead that's now one of my friends. I shiver. No nice memories, just us kissing in the bathroom, a drunk and vomiting Luhan destroying the mood. My friends are disgusting. "Ugh. Nevermind that. It's not him, anyway."

"Oh, okay." He nods, seemingly relieved. "But do you think it is a good idea to talk about this here? Our…", he struggles to find the right word, "friends. They could listen to us. You know how they are... You know how Chen and Lulu are."

Lulu. Really? More like Pupu.

Sheesh, I'm funny.

"Yeah, you might be right. But I'm not able to hold it in. It feels like there's a new SHINee MV, but I'm not allowed to scream or shake. It's like being shackled."

"Wow, poetic." Minseok and I both jump at the unfamiliar voice appearing.

…seriously, what is life. I can't believe this .

Byun ing Baekhyun stands in front of us, looking like a model even in between shelves of sauces and soups. The worst kind of guy. Mindblowingly beautiful, cute as hell. That's probably where he comes from, anyway.

While Minseok is frozen in shock (poor boy afraid of our non existing "cover" blowing and getting tossed out of school) I decide to just ignore Baekhyun. I don't want to get venereal diseases from our campus by just talking to him, I need to make healthy Park babies in the future.

Wait, hold on. Byun Baekhyun is a friend of Park Chanyeol. So if I don't mess this up, I'm getting the d.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Go get him, gurl.

"Where's your friend?" I ask casually, making it sound patronizing. As if I want him to go away.
Because I'm good in this. The great pretender.

"Where's yours?" He comes back, still wearing that cocky smile. 

I hate this. I hate him. His face and his iness and god too, because he gave him all this. Damn it, I asked first, you little . Answer my question.

Don't destroy my plans.

"Not answering me?" Baekhyun chuckles deeply, sounding y and y at the same time. "Weren't you just talking so lovingly about your Krissy baby?"

…Krissy baby?

…Krissy baby.

…

What disgusting world is that face living in?

"Are you retarded?" I blurt out, absolutely to the shock of Minseok, who's now trying to cover my mouth. I elbow his until he must mentally cry.

"What makes you think that I and… oh god, him, that he's the one I talked about?"

Baekhyun's grin only gets wider, if that's even possible. "Come on. We saw you. Him. It's Kris, after all. He's not famous for no reason."

"Yeah, he's famous because he tries to act like a rapper, his hair's bleached to the max and he wears the sickest stuff, pretending it looks good on him. Not exactly reasons to fall for him." 

Sorry, bro. It's true though. Stop doing this thing you call rapping. You are embarrassing yourself, your friends and the whole human race.

"Aye, how cute. Pretending you hate his flawless looks. Cute attempt."

Aye? 

Flawless looks?
 

Is he trying to sound like a gay pirate on purpose?

"Are you really such a fanboy?" There's audible disgust in my voice. Well done. "Also, what the hell's your problem? It's none of your business. I could be in love with your mom and it would still be my decision. Don't get on my nerves."

Baekhyun chuckles deeply, his hands going through his brown hair. "Talking to me like this?"

Amusement sparkles in his eyes. "You're underestimating me. My connections, what I'm capable of. But you're really not like I thought you would be." His eyes examine my presence, before he looks in my face, laughing silently. "Kris' taste is as flawless as ever."

This is the most dangerous and disgusting sounding compliment I've ever gotten. Well, except for "you look really y when I'm high".

God, I hate you, Byun Baekhyun. You are like a version of Luhan. Also, stop saying flawless. It sounds like you want the d, even though I'm trying to get Park Chanyeol's d.

Ah, that's right. The d. I lost sight of the mission. 

"Shouldn't you be with your friend, Byun?" 

Baekhyun's eyebrows immediately go up, his eyes widen in shock. "Friend?"

Did I strike a cord? Are they gay or why is he like this all of a sudden?

"Yeah, that tall one," I explain. Baekhyun gulps. Why is he so nervous? I continue, nonetheless. "With the dumbo ears. I saw you at the parking-"

"BAEKKKKK!" An incredibly deep voice roars, nearly making the ground shake. "I found the Rilakkuma treats I wanted!" I can hear the excited voice coming nearer, heck, the whole shop can probably hear it. 

Wait.. Rilakkuma?

My heart stops once again today.

Don't say it's-

"Chanyeol", Baekhyun hisses obviously annoyed, as a tall boy, all legs, ears and beautiful face appears, aggressively hugging the short Baekhyun from behind.

"Baek, they are on discount! Please, please bu-"

Then he seems to notice Minseok and me, looking at the scene embarrasedly.

Park Chanyeol.

"O-oh! H-hi." Park Chanyeol immediately steps back from Baekhyun, who's fifty shades of red already.

What is wrong with that guy and why is his voice so damn melodic even when he stutters? I swear, he's not normal. He must be a robot from hell. A y robot from y hell. 

The robot of destruction.

"Hello." Minseok answers him flatly.

And then it's my turn for a salutation. Come on, you can do this. Make a good first expression. Open your mouth, slowly, and…

"Nbksndd," I squeak like the fangirl I am.

Great work. Go kill yourself. 

"U-uhm?" Park Chanyeol doesn't even look at me for more than one second straight, his eyes constantly fixed on my shoes. I don't get why though, my face is a lot prettier than the worn out Mary Janes I bought on discount.

"I mean, hello. Hi. What's up? Swag." I correct myself in a much deeper tone. Trying to sound mature, but ending up sounding like I'm trying to mimic a bear.

Silence.

Awkward silence.

Should I talk to him? Is it too soon to ask for his number? I don't want to rush things.

"Well… gotta get going." Minseok breaks the quietness, pulling me away from the battlefield.

Only the sound of my shoes and the voices of various customers remain, until we are alone again.

"Hey, Xiumin…" My voice sounds sore. I try to regain my strength, looking up at him. How do I explain this? Did he notice? Of course he did. He's the smart one. "Thanks for… saving me." I gulp audibly. "I'm so glad I have you."

Minseok says nothing. The silence almost hurts, until he starts to hiss: "Are you god damn serious?" 

Ouch. 

Minseok swears This is going to be an intense lecture.

"That guy? Those guys? Are you god damn serious? Don’t look at me like that! A friend of this guy, you had to choose this airhead? You know what they say about him!" Customers start to look our way already.

"Xiuxiu, please…" I beg silently. "Not here…"

"Don't Xiuxiu me." He deadpans, turning away from me and dragging me along with him.

The idea of Park Chanyeol and me fades immediately.

Minseok and I don't talk on the way out of the grocery store. I want to hug him, but he seems to be awfully upset.

I don't get the world anymore.

"What's with him?" Luhan then asks me, after being ignored by him.

"I'm sorry." I only say, getting in Kris' car again.

This is not even a field trip. It's just some teens laying around in a creepy house, being depressed about the weather.

There's a storm outside again. I'm positive that we will all die

"I'd rather have class." I mutter to Tao. "The air is so thick here."

Tao nods. "What's with this mood? I don't get how meeting that dwarf could take us all so down."

My eyes scan the room, searching for Minseok. He seems to be his old self again, but there's still something off. "Minseok won't talk to me."

"I noticed. I've never seen Xiumin being actually… upset. Not even that one time Luhan used his room to raise… special plants."

I can't put into words how strange all this is.
"Ya, you two. Come help making dinner!" Kris' voice then echoes from the kitchen.

"Yes, duizhang~!" Tao warbles excitedly, instantly jumping up and running in Kris' direction.

What's the point in befriending six hot guys if everyone's a queer?

Dinner is quiet and awkward. Even Chen says nothing. My depression and regret grows.
Why did I let Luhan convince me? I will fail all my classes because of him. 

And this is supposed to continue for two more days?

"I'm going to bed" I mutter, heading to Tao's and my shared room.

Nobody on the table asks why. It's obvious, after all.

Blasting SHINee songs doesn't help either. All I can think about is Park Chanyeol's adorable face, blushing. Talking passionately about Rilakkuma with that deep voice that just wouldn't fit his appearance.

"Just a crush." I mumble to myself. 

Because in the end of the day, SHINee are the only ones for me. I’m destined to live a lonely fangirl life, fawning over idols. It's my fate.

And as the relaxing sound's of Orgel/Music Box echo in my ear I drift into a restless sleep.

I'm not sure if I can say that I like Korea. This country and me... We've got a weird relationship.
Firstly, there is this unbelievable tidiness. 
Neat and clean, everything's looking like a commercial. I remember how I used to look up pictures of my hometown at google after two weeks of living in Seoul only because of missing graffiti sprayed walls and cracked up sidewalks. Oh, the nostalgia.

So yeah, that's really annoying. I feel like the biggest pig living here, my room looks like even for western standards.

Secondly, we've got the people.

Sure, Koreans are very polite. Or better: ing liars. Because if I ask if I can talk on the phone in a restaurant I want to get an accurate answer instead of an oh-so-polite nod and thousand of stares after calling my dentist. My dentist is an , too, by the way.

Third come the prices.

Does humanity really expect me to spend 46 dollars on a single shirt? I do not care about how organic that is, I want my poisonous Primark clothes for five dollars thank you. In order to accomplish my dream wardrobe I'd have to sell my ity on ebay. And loose weight. Skinny es everywhere.
But I could keep up with all of this if there wasn't the language. This god damn hard to understand language. I used to be a very eloquent talker - but now my whole vocabulary consists of crap I learned through variety shows.

Neoye deuri wonhaneun rieollitiga ireongeonya?!

So yeah, even though I live in this country for quite a time now, I still feel annoyed of everything. I guess that's just how it is, being a college student in a still foreign country. Where it is pretty difficult to get some pot, too. Everything .

And then, there are Korean boys. The worst boys in the whole world.

Boys that will destroy your sanity and make you fall so deep in love that you can't think anymore.

Boys like Park Chanyeol.

"Look, look!" The shrill sound of an exited Chen follows an outcry of "Get the hell out of here!" It's Kris' voice. 

"Guys, duizhang wears pyjamas!"

"Oh god, I'm coming!" Tao cries out, sprinting in the direction of Kris' death threats.

...Yeah, let's not forget that Korea has those kind of boys, too. Chens.

…

…

…

I really need to re-emigrate.

"I'm only in love with his looks." I explain to Tao on the ride back to the campus. The last two day's had been living hell. "He's beautiful and I'm in love with that. I don't know him and I'm not planning to change that fact. My feelings will fade anyway It's just his looks."

"How… how is that even possible?" Tao looks at me, terrified. As if I just told him that I like smelling on the bike saddles of random children. "I mean, have you seen his-"

"Yeah, his ears." I sigh. "They are adorable. I really want to nibble on them and-"

"OH MY GOD HOLYJUSTSTOPPLEASE." Tao nearly screams and I'm glad that Kris' music is so loud. I don't even question why he listens to Red Velvet's Happiness with the most serious face expression ever. "Can you… can you please not?" Tao continues, breathing heavily. "I don't need nightmares."

I remain silent for the rest of our ride. 

Why don't I have any female friends?

Coming back to campus is awful. Of course Luhan, our self-proclaimed tour guide, choose after class for coming back so every student alive could be aware of the fact that the Chinese Gang did some illegal field trip stuff. Luhan really doesn't want to save his image.

And being the only girl in the group, I know exactly what the others must think of me. "Wow, she must be a huge ."

That's why I hate living in the dormitory. The looks they give me, everytime I leave the room Luhan, Xiumin and Kris share. If the apartment I lived ever since I left home to study in Korea wouldn't be so damn far away (paying rents in the central of Seoul is impossible, so it had been easier to buy an apartment elsewhere) I would not even bother living here. But you have to make sacrifices for education.
"I hate this" I mumble frustratedly in my pillow. At least I don't have to share a room. Think positive.

No, everything indeed .

There's no need to try to be happy. In the end everything falls apart and- Wow, I sound like cutters on Tumblr. This is serious.

Sighing, I stand up and search for my phone to blast some SHINee. Feeling Ring Ding Dong as , gotta jam a bit and everything's gonna be alright again…
But as I look on my screen, I can see a message popping up.

group meeting at 7 tonight!! ~ bring snacks ☆ - luhan

" this, no! you, Luhan! it!" I turn my phone of and continue laying in bed, waiting for dead.

Dead did come in his worst form, Luhan.

At point seven pm he dragged me out of my room, still clothed in my pink polka dot pyjama and messy hair.

"Don't worry, everyone's dressed like this!" He assures me.

A manly slumber party, I see. 

"I don't want to. I don't have snacks. Let me die." 
"Don't worry, don't worry! Gege has a great surprise for his little girl!"

Oh god, am I going to get ?

Seeing my terrified facial expression Luhan starts to clarify his attentions. "You know, Taozi explained everything to me and-"

"WHAT DID THAT DO I'M GONNA KICK THAT CHINESE SO HARD HE'S GOING TO-"

"Pssssht!" Luhan puts his hand over my mouth, making the whole thing feel even more like . "I feel offended by the fact that you decided to trust him about your feelings and not me, anyway. I thought we were best friend."

I open my mouth to his hand. Squealing, he let's go.

"We are best friends. But I don't need your laugher again. Remember how long you made fun of me after the Burger-King-obstacle?." The memory still disgusts me.

"Don't think so bad of your ge!" His voice sounds like he's about to cry, but after all these years I know it's an act anyway. "I want to help you. That's why I organized this meeting. Now come and have fun, I promise it'll be great.'

Now this again. 

I promise it will be fun. No, this dress looks great on you, nobody will laugh. I can dye your hair for you, I have experience and it will look perfect. Lies. Luhan is a dirty ing liar.

Still, he somehow manages to drag me into his shared room. Why do I have to be so damn short and so damn helpless? I want to be a manly men in my next life.

"Here she is guys, the crew is now complete." Luhan announces loudly as soon as we enter the room.

"Crew? I don't remember being a part of this." 
My eyes wide in an instant as I spot the owner of that voice.

There they were, Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol, sitting in a circle between my friends.

"Surprise" Luhan whispers in my ear. I can hear the smile in this voice.

I hate my life.

cliffhanger, ahoi.

sorry for taking so long to formate and beta read. school is killing me.

what will happen at the manly slumber party? we will see...