Aside.

It's really weird to see an adorable giraffe like Park Chanyeol in a room filled with six more or less Chinese idiots and Byun Baekhyun. While wearing pyjamas.

I honestly expected watching a film with my friends. If I can still call them friends. 

So it's my fault I didn't expect Luhan to get drunk again and suggest having an . But it's definitively not my fault that Chen and Lay start making out while Kris desperately tries to make Tao stay away from him. I don't know whose fault that is though, it's probably in their genes.

It doesn't get any better after drunk Luhan starts crying and talks about how Minseok and I should marry him and how beautiful the children of us three would be.

So much for wanting to set me up with Park Chanyeol.

It's not my fault that I can't enjoy displayed homouality when Park Chanyeol is in the same room, either.

I want to go to sleep. I want to listen to Onew's voice singing me to sleep. I hate this.

"Llett'z play thruz or dare!" Luhan screams out, of course without giving us any context.

It's hard to understand him while he's trying to give a very disgusted Minseok a very disgusting smooch. And as much as I want to see him Minseok, I decide to pull him away from the poor boy.

"Ohh, I getz it. You want the Xiu for" Luhan hicks. "for yourself!"

"No, I do not want the Xiu", I deadpan.

"Everybody wants the Xiu!" Luhan starts making dubstep sounds. Then he fades.

I can't even laugh at this. It's too surreal.

Tao claps and laughs instead for me. "That's a grrrreat idea, Ge! Let's play! Woooo!"

Oh, I nearly forgot that Tao turns into a woo-girl when he's drunk.

My friends are all very manly.

Kicking Luhan's corpse to a corner of the room, I have to witness how everyone in the room, especially Byun Baekhyun, who's surprisingly sober, fancies the idea of playing a party game invented by little girls. Okay, I'm sure Kris, Minseok and… Park Chanyeol don't, but they can't resist a pile of drunk idiots.

"I'm going to my room" I exclaim as Tao starts holding a bottle up in the air like the holy grail. 

"You don't. Think about blackmail." Chen grins. He's too sober to be such an .

"You're bluffing." It's a tiny whisper, but I'm sure Chen hears it. I start thinking about Park Chanyeol finding out about last summer as Chen's grin gets brighter.

Minseok is the only true friend in this universe of tard. So I sit down and face my death. 

"Yay!" Tao spins the bottle, dancing on his seat. I vaguely recognize the choreography of Gee.

Girls Generation fanboys are the worst.

The first round of Truth or Dare ends with a very euphoric, now not-so-sober Byun Baekhyun stripping down to his boxers. Only someone as gay as Tao could request a dare like this. Not that I don't secretly enjoy it. Byun has a nice body and is awfully cute, even if he's a .

Park Chanyeol smiles the for the first time this evening. His smile is blinding and I feel like fading, so I concentrate on Byun's s instead, hoping nobody will notice. I swear I can feel Park Chanyeol judging me glancing at me for a second, but it's barely noticeable.

"I'm spinning!" Baekhyun seems too exited, making my stomach feel like a garbage can.

And because life is just like VIXX music videos, dark and senseless, my worst concerns get real.

"Truth or dare?" Baekhyun giggles. He's clearly had too much.
Minseok seems to get alarmed, holding my wrist. I shake him off, thinking hardly.

That's a war I have to fight without him.

Let's see. Truth could lead to a love life related question. And I clearly don't want Park Chanyeol to know anything about last summer or how much I like him. Dare could lead to anything.

So I face my death and whisper "SHINee's back" "Dare."
The whole room gasps. Alright, it's only Tao and Baekhyun. The others hardly care about this .

I take a look at Park Chanyeol. He takes a sip from a bottle of Mountain Dew and looks so adorable in his Rilakkuma shorts. His long legs make it hard to focus for me, especially because at the end of them his huge feet, clothed in Pokemon socks, wait for me to fangirl.

"I dare you to get !" Baekhyun giggles again.

Chen howls. 

"No." Minseok and I say in unison.

"That's not fair at all, she's the only girl here", he adds. 

I present you Kim Minseok, the only true friend of mine. Amen.

Byun Baekhyun sulks.

My eyes wander to Park Chanyeol who's red as a tomato now. I try hard not to squeal. He's cute like a button, blushing only because of the mention of a girl being . s over twenty are too rare to don't find them adorable.

"Then I dare you to kiss me!" Byun points at his lips.

I facepalm. Are we twelve?

Park Chanyeol starts to wriggle on his seat, looking at his friend with huge puppy eyes.

Is he nervous? Why?

Byun's eyes then meet his, and a small nod follows.

I curiously watch their exchange of looks. What the hell is going on? 

There's only one thought in my head: Park Chanyeol is Byun Baekhyun's girlfriend and doesn't want him to kiss me.

Everything inside of me screams. Half in of horror because I want Chanyeol to be my girlfriend, pardon, boyfriend, half in pleasure because imagining Park Chanyeol being taken by a very rough Baekhyun is strangly satisfying.

I really need to see a doctor.

"Kiss the boy you like!" Baekhyun finally decides to dare me.

I swallow hard. This is worse than kissing Baekhyun. Because if I really do kiss the guy I like…

Once again I glance up to Park Chanyeol. Our eyes meet for a second and I feel like drowning. It's hard to hear my own thoughts when my heart beats so loudly.

Let's… let's stay calm. There's only one thing to do.

Standing up, I look at everyone's face. Tao, who claims to like girls, but fanwhores over Kris 24/7. Kris, who's… whatever. Chen, who would tease me until I commit suicide if I decide to kiss him. Lay, with his beautiful face and lips, which remind me of how much I used to love him. Minseok, who wouldn't be angry at me, but find it pretty awkward if I kissed him.

Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol are no options either. 

I in a deep breath, making my way across the room to kiss the unconscious Luhan hard and wild.

Because if I do something, I do it right.

I can nearly hear the whole room holding their breaths, but it gets even weirder as the sleeping beauty wakes up and s my s.

Our kiss and the whole game ends with a red mark in the shape of my hand on Luhan's cheek.

The night is still young as I discover Park Chanyeol to be an awful drinker, slightly weaving on legs that are too long for his own good. He keeps gulping down drink after drink with the help of Baekhyun and Luhan cheering him on.

That's why I've never liked alcohol. It turns people into a mess, into really disgusting displays of pure second hand embarrassment.

And tonight it turns Park Chanyeol and his Rilakkuma shorts into a vomiting pile of tears.

I can practically hear my soul freeze and my heart become that dark ugly lump of hate and sarcasm it has been before I've met Park Chanyeol. So three days ago, basically.

It's not even ten pm as my martyrdom finally ends with Byun Baekhyun dragging Park Chanyeol's body back to their shared room. Not before he gave me a "compliment" about my bust size, of course. Baekhyun's such a gentlemen.

It's that night I decided to never judge a person on his appearances Not even when he's cute and big eared like Park Chanyeol. 

"I told you he's insane." Tao reminds me, now a bit sobered out.

I don't have the power to answer anymore.

The next morning smells like muffins and Luhan's face on my pillow and me crying out because that's creepy as hell.

Punching his face accidentally, but don't regretting it even a second, I try to get out of my bed. If there wasn't Luhan's body weight stopping me.

"I'm sorry for yesterday. I baked muffins for you!" He points to muffins on my desk and I'd bet anything that Minseok baked them.

I still struggle, trying to get away from that freak, his pink hair sticking to my face.

I want to murder that piece of bishounen trash.

"How did you get in here. I. I don't. Wow. That's the girl's dorm. I just. You're acting like a ing yandere."

I don't move anymore. I'm not in the mood for his . My tears haven't even dried yet and I'm not ready at all to get reminded of the fact that I know the term for insane manga boys trying to make you love them.

I really want to forget what a loser otaku I've been back then in high school. 

Luhan sighs. He doesn't have the right to sigh. "Look, I'm really, really sorry. But if we all team up we can set you and that Ch-"

I immediately interrupt him as he's about to say that name. "I'm not interested." 

Luhan's left eyebrow looks up. His face is so symmetrical and beautiful that I feel like I should take a break, fearing that my eyes will go out in flames if I continue witnessing this beauty. "Really? A bit of vomit is enough to turn you off?"

"It's not just the vomiting…" My head disappears under my pillow again. "He's… he drank so much. In front of strangers. He's Byun Baekhyun's friend, his best friend as it seems, and this has to mean that-"

"To mean what?" Luhan's tone suddenly sounds sharp. I'm surprised to hear anger in his voice. "You said you liked him and now you give up because of people say about him? Because he might be an insane because he's Byun's friend?"

I stay silent. I don't have to defend myself in front of that tard. I throw my pillow after him instead.

It all doesn't help though. I end up spending my Sunday eating muffins with Luhan cuddled up in my bed, making plans on how to get around Park Chanyeol.

Luhan is an idiot, but he's my idiot.

Seasons change and the sun gets brighter - much to my regret. One week before spring break I feel like I'm about to die from heat.

"This is not even spring. It's hell." I sigh, taking a sip from the bubble tea Luhan brought me. He told me about a new bubble tea store opening downtown and I really have to admit that this tea tastes better than my usual one.

Lay just stares at the sky as we sit in the grass of the campus yard, mumbling an indefinable answer, just like the pothead he is. Spending time with him is great and all, but my self esteem really suffers when I remember that I used to be crazy over this certain human being.

Luhan laughs, making the position my of my head on his shoulder uncomfortable. 

"Stop", I close my eyes and yawn. "My head hurts."

"Alright." He chuckles one more time before pulling my head on his lap, caressing my hair. The sun makes it hard to enjoy it though.

It's Kris' voice that speaks up as Luhan's hands wander to the bow in my hair. "You look like a couple," he casually notes. "People stare."

For a moment I think that being mistaken for Luhan's girlfriend wasn't a bad thing - he's beautiful and has his great sides. Then the memory of him twerking his flat Chinese at Chen's birthday party appears on my inner eyes, causing me to jump up from my position on his lap.

Luhan grins knowingly.

I punch his head.

"You look even more like a couple now!" Tao laughs. 

Turning my head to him, ready to give a remark, probably insulting his mother, staining his whole family's honour, I suddenly recognize a fluff of black hair on the edge of the hedge we sit behind.

Could it be that…?

Luhan is probably psychic, because he suddenly grins brightly. "Ya, Park! You want bubble tea too?"

A gasp, then rustling of leaves and grass, followed by two black round eyes appearing as Park Chanyeol stands up and runs away.

…

…

…

What the flying .

"He likes you" Luhan whispers.

My heart bumps faster.

Like that Monday hasn't been strange enough already, I realize that Park Chanyeol really is in my psychology class.

This must be the first time Tao's right about something.

There he is, sitting in the last row of the auditorium, just like me - only that I'm on the right part of the room while he's on the left. All alone and looking hung up as .

That's weird. Even I, a part of the Chinese Gang, have people around me. Okay, it's just Amber Liu sleeping while snoring loudly, but that counts too. 

Wait, she's Chinese, too. . Why do Koreans hate me so much?

But Park Chanyeol is alone, wearing his huge glasses that doesn't fit him at all. He's just too cute.

Since when have I've been attracted to walking fashion faux pas? I don't remember a case.

It's hard too focus when the batting of Park Chanyeol's eyelashes are suddenly more important than Kant. When admiring his jawline is everything that interests me. 

I probably have to change my major now. Great.

I'm glad when the lesson ends.

I pack up my things in a hurry to run out the door, but yes, reality is as annoying as Luhan's existence, and some idiot bumps into me, making me fall on my precious .

"God, was that really necessary?" I can't contain my anger against the tall figure.

"I-I'm sorry!" His voice is deep and helpless at the same time.

….

I look up to see Park Chanyeol, seemingly hurt.

Yes, my life is like Luhan's face. Just without the beauty. Only annoying.

"It's okay…" I try to make my voice sound deeper. Mature. Why doesn't it work, though?

"Alright… you… you're not hurt." It's more like a statement than a question. He's blushing again.

"Yes." I gulp. People are watching us now because we block the entrance. "Well… I have to meet someone. Bye." 

I suddenly remember the incident on lunch break - him running away while Luhan laughed loudly.

And I spring away like the coward I am, leaving the boy of my dreams behind me, probably making him feel embarrassed as hell.

I'm so stupid.

"You're so stupid!" It's Luhan, shaking me on my shoulders. "You should've ed him!"

"In the doorway. While everyone watches."

"Yes!" He nearly screams. The tinfoil on his hair creates a rustling sound. 

"Don't mess around, your hair will suffer." I take a strand of hair and stick it back inside the foil, getting hair dye on my fingers. All because Luhan decided that pink doesn't expresses his manliness well enough and orange would be a much better colour. And of course I help him, because I'm a great person and I get twenty thousand won, which are barely twenty Euros. But I'm poor enough to don't refuse.

"You won't ever be able to get him if you don't take a step. He's even less socially competent than you are, so…" Wow, nice. "…you have to be the man!"

I don't want to be the man. es are scary.

"Don't be so hard on her, Lu Ge." Minseok's studying, his own tinfoil still undamaged. Luhan and I could finally make him jump on the auburn train.

My eyebrows burn. I should probably wash the colour off before I go blind.

As I stand up and make my way to the bathroom my tinfoil head creates ugly sounds and makes it impossible to follow the conversation of those two.

But it's not like I care anyway.

Because every time I think of his smile, deep in my heart, a serious illness forms. I have such an immense crush.
 

My thoughts are with Park Chanyeol.

finally done... i really struggled with this chapter.

you probably can see by now that this story's gonna be very slow-paced. i hope you will be there until the end.

leave a comment and tell me how you liked this chapter.

(btw, today is luhan's birthday. happy birthday to lu ge! be sure to leave a comment on his instagram!)