TRIGGER.

Cheonsa gatdeon neon i bamui lucifer...

"Are you even listening to me?!"

Muhan soge heundeullineun sigyechureul meomchwo...

"Pay attention, damn it!"

I akmongeun got kkeutna...

"Ugh, she's hopeless. It's your duty, duizhang."

Pull the trigger come on baby, pull the trigger...

The music stops to play when Kris unplugs my headphones violently. 

"What is it?" I look at him and Tao in pure annoyance. 

"You are acting strange."

I shrug, leaning back in my chair. 

The cafeteria is filled with students and professors having lunch, while I don't feel hungry at all. I'm busy contemplation my miserable life.

It's funny how you look at people after removing the rose-coloured glasses of love.

All of a sudden, I recognize the bad haircut in the crowd of classmates, sitting at a table with his friends. I realize that his laugh is loud enough to be heard on the other side of the hall, where I sit. I also realize how his eyes twitch, how he visibly spits while talking and how he always bites his friends randomly.

He's a ing creep.

"You are staring at Park. Still not over him?" 

I shake my head at Chen. "I think I'm pretty over with him."

As soon as those words are said, a pair of black eyes returns my look.

No increasing of my pulse, no feelings.

It's just a guy that happens to be in Psychology with me. Nothing else.

That's at least what I'd like to think.

I look away, facing my empty plate. Food doesn't taste good these days. 

"I probably never actually liked him. That's kinda sad," I mumble.

Minseok looks at me in worry, but I smile it off. He should concentrate on his finals instead of dealing with my laughable I-like-him-but-I-don't-.

The mere thought of it makes me feel sick. The semester's gonna end soon, which means that Minseok and Luhan will graduate. It's the most awful thing ever for me, having my only family leave me in this hellfire.

I sigh. Kris will leave, too, so I'm not only stuck with my ex boyfriend and his new boyfriend, but also with Tao who's gonna be the most annoying piece of alive after Kris takes his chance to flee. I can already hear him crying about the lost of 'duizhang'.

In the end there's no one but Kai left. And Kai is friends with...

Chanyeol laughs so much he starts to swallow his whole sandwich. He turns red and coughs violently, spitting pieces of salad and bread on his table.

Yeah, with him.

I study Chanyeol's profile. There's no doubt that he has a damn pretty face. The bridge of his nose might not be the straightest, but it's still appealing. His lips look kissable, his lashes are long and dark and his Adam's apple gives him the manly touch his puppy face is lacking. 

That's why it's hard for me to believe that not a single girl takes any interest in him. In a country like Korea, with such an obvious ideal of beauty, he should be popular. But girls rarely cross his way, and if they do, they scrunch up their noses and leave immediately.

I start to feel pity for the tall boy. No one seems to like him, well except for Baekhyun, now Kai and maybe Kris. And nobody deserves to be liked by Baekhyun. It must be a tough life, especially because he used to have a strong group of friends. 

Because he was a part of Ekso.

It might be a little sad, but it's actually not my business. So why do I feel so relieved that Chanyeol seems to have people to hang out with, so that he doesn't have to eat lunch in empty auditoriums? Why do I care?

I put my thoughts aside when the bell rings, signalling me that Psychology is about to start. 

"Don't skip," Minseok warns me. I half expect him to walk me to the auditorium, but his trust seems to be stronger than I thought. 

We part at our lockers. I give him a kiss on his cheek, making him smile.

"Tell Luhan I said hi," I say. Luhan works his off at the moment, in order to archive grades good enough not to fail and having to repeat the semester, so he doesn't eat lunch with us. It's like he has left a hole in my heart and our group.

Minseok smiles and waves before heading to his Economics class. I watch him go until he gets out of my sight.

The auditorium is already full at the time I enter the room. I'm pretty sure I've never seen so many of my classmates being present in one lesson. It puzzles me.

I'm pleasantly surprised to see that Amber seemed to reserve a place for me. I'm not that happy to see that Chanyeol sits right next to that spare seat, though. I don't question how he managed to be here, even though he left after me. Those damn long legs of his.

I try to figure out what to do, but the professor arrives and asks everyone to shut the up, so I need to hurry and find a seat.

I end up sitting next to the guy I'm now 'friends' with, but actually don't want to talk to ever again.

Ugh.

"Yo," Amber sleepily greets me, reminding me a lot of myself. I really start to like that girl.

Henry, I'm going to befriend her. He can kiss my pale .

"Thanks for saving that seat." I smile at her, hoping to look like a nice, sincere person instead of whatever I actually am. Her smile makes me believe that I did it right.

I steal a glance at Chanyeol, who's looking at the board. He doesn't seem to care about my arrival, so maybe mission ignore-Park-Chanyeol-till-graduation won't be a failure after all.

Feeling more relaxed now, I start to focus on the professor's words.

"As you all should know, this semester will end with a group project," Miss Song starts to explain.

I freeze.

Group what?!

Heck, no! No one told me!

"Since I want you out of your comfort zone, I decided to be the one to divide you into groups."

Oh, no.

no.

The whole class starts to growl.

Miss Song nervously tugs strands of black hair behind her ear and clears . She's still young, and she really as a Psychology teacher while she's a great one in Economics. "I'm gonna read out the groups I decided on. Please listen."

I hold my breath. 

Please, please let me be in a group with Amber. Or anyone else. I don't care. But not with him, not with...

Miss Song reads out my name - for a second the world turns black. 

Don't do it, hoe.

"and Park Chanyeol." 

Oh my god.

I hear Chanyeol swallow next to me. Our eyes meet.

"Your topic will be: 'ualisation of today's youth - Is in media harmful for the mental health of minors?"

p-?!

...

...

...

Is this woman ing kidding me?

I'm forced to do a research on with Park Chanyeol?

Alright, guess who will repeat this semester in order to escape this ed up group work.

Like, what the actual flying ?

How should I, out of all people, know if it's harmful? I've been watching gay since I was eleven years old and I still managed to grow up into a somewhat respected member of society. Or something. At least I'm no drug addict or a criminal. 'Cause weed is a plant. Plants are good for you. Weed is practically a vegetable.

Okay, maybe it is harmful.

Chanyeol's face turns into a bright red. I'm not sure if that guy even knows what is. 

I muster him. He either doesn't know that he has a or he's the type to e six times a day to third-class . I'm not sure.

I hope it's the second option, because I really don't want to be the one to educate him about birds and bees.

Miss Song continues reading out the list. Stupid topics follow, but not even one is as embarrassing as ours.

I want to scream.

"Be sure not to miss the deadline!"

Today is my personal deadline for being saint.

My body convulses nervously at the thought of working with him. 

What is fortuna trying to tell me? First I meet him at a parking lot, then at a random slumber party, then I find out that he seems to stalk me, later he vomits on me on a party, after that he buys me SHINee tickets, and now we are supposed to be in a group for the school trip and now he's my research partner?

Maybe we are destined to be with each other, after all?

I steal another glance at him. His face looks pretty and perfect the way it is - well, at least when he seems to think about something. His expression is serious right now. Images of his smile come to my mind again and I decide that thinking about his prettiness is only temporary.

"This is stupid. You are stupid."

"Thanks, Tao. You're great help."

I sigh. I never would say it out loud, but I miss Luhan and his stupid advice. Even his is better advice than everything Tao says.

"I mean, first you want him, now you don't. First you dress cutely, now you look like you not only lost interest in him, but also life in general. Look at you. You're going through a manic episode."

I snort at Tao. "It's the summer. I don't like summers." Especially when you realize that the only thing that changed in your life since last summer is that you don't have anyone that loves you.

Yixing for being gay. myself for not having a . everyone.

"Okay, okay. Maybe I do have some unresolved conflicts stuck inside of me," I confess. "But how is that related with Chanyeol being stupid and me wearing pants?"

"Are you really in Psychology class?" Tao shakes his head frantically. "You should ask Park for some crack, you honestly need it."

I sigh once again, peobably for the hundredths time today, bumping my head against my headboard. All I want is to cuddle and be told that everything is alright and , but cuddling with Tao is impossible. 

I need love. I'm a wreck without Minseok's and Luhan's affection, how am I supposed to survive after their graduation?

I feel like crying, until Tao says the magic words.

"Come on, let's go shopping."

Yes, please.

Two days later I decide to get some guts and speak to Chanyeol about the project. Repeating a semester would mean another six months of college without my brothers, and I absolutely know it'll kill me.

I'm gonna ambush him at his locker to make this nightmare pass as quickly as possible.

He stands at his locker, his black hair now longer than it had been when I first met him. He's wearing the typical Korean bowlcut, instead of the short random cut from before. His pale skin and the red of the locker contrast with his pitch black hair. It looks kind of dreamy.

He suddenly looks like the male lead of a shoujo manga, and I feel like the retarded flat-chested girl that needs to figure out how to seduce 'senpai'.

He's an idiot. A creep. He looks like . Why ido I find him so attractive?

"Hey, Chanyeol!" I decide to greet him as casually as possible, maybe a bit too loud and friendly sounding. Then I realize that it's probably the first time I've ever used his name. Well, at least in front of him. I have no idea why, but the mere thought makes my heartbeat increase.

Chanyeol looks at me, his eyes getting wide in his surprise. It feels humiliating how much he needs to bend his neck downwards to actually see me. It nearly makes his huge, nerdy glasses fall off.

"Hey." He sounds surprised, awkward. Something else is in his voice, but I can't quite grasp it. His voice is too deep to analyse.

"When do you have time to work on our project?" I smile at him cheerfully. It surprises me how much of an actor I can be when I don't have a crush on someone.

"Uhm" He scratches his head thoughtfully. "Actually, always." He laughs awkwardly.

Really? No listening-to-Grunge-while-eating-pizza-sessions in our way? 

"Alright. I think we should get over this as soon as possible. Let's meet today in the library, at, uhm... 4 o'clock?"

Chanyeol only nods. Is he blushing or is it only the red of his locker reflecting on his face?

"See ya!" I wave goodbye, hurrying to leave and ease the bumping in my chest.

Attending classes is pretty difficult when your project featuring Park Chanyeol is everything you can think of. 

After having to get rid of a Tao that wants me to dress up for going at the library, because "You have to show the guys your goods! Don't hide them!" I'm fifteen minutes late.

"I'm sorry!" I breathe out, finally arriving at the library. 

Chanyeol stands there, looking absolutely lost. He looks relieved when I arrive.

"Let's go inside, okay?" I smile at him. 

We are friends after all.

He nods a bit too eagerly, slight pink gracing his cheeks.

The library is pretty empty regarding to the fact that it's supposed to be full of third-years doing their graduation stuff. I think about Luhan and Minseok and feel sick immediately. My babies.

Chanyeol and I sit there, silently. I'm doing the outline of the paper, while he stares at my notes silently. I already know that I'm going to have to do everything by myself.

"Alright," I clear my throat. "I'm done with the structure. Now we should talk about foreknowledge, since this needs a personal note, too."

Now this is going to get awkward.

"W-what was our topic again?" Chanyeol stutters. I can tell that he knows by the way he turns red. That guys really has a problem with his blood flow.

"," I deadpan.

Chanyeol jumps in his chair. "D-don't s-say that out loud!"

"What?" I take a sip of water, wishing it was alcohol. This is going to be a long, long ride. "? ? ? ? Grow up."

Chanyeol hides his face with his incredibly large hands.

hands, I think. The world's first bottom with hands, ladies and gentlemen. Call the Japanese, they will be just as shocked as I am.

"G-girls shouldn't say words like this!" His voice is hoarse, only slightly louder than a whisper.

I roll my eyes. "You know what?"

The looks at me through his fingers, shaking his head hesitatingly.

I lean to him, smiling encouragingly. "Vulva, , , oris," I say, still smiling sweetly.

Chanyeol jumps up from his chair, shrieking loudly.

Third-years from all corners of the library are looking at him in shock and annoyance.

I snicker at him and suddenly feel like the reincarnation of Chen. But it's too easy to tease that guy. He really is responsive.

"Sit down. We have to go through this, so you better accustom to those words."

Chanyeol shakes his head violently, still standing. "I-I can't!"

"You are a grown man! How old are you? Twenty? Or twenty-one? You can't tell me you never talked about uality!"

"B-but" He looks at the floor. No tiles, but ugly carpet. "N-not with a girl."

I'm tempted to "awww" him and straddle his head, but also about to kick his flat and leave.

"I'm no real girl. I swear, I'm behaving like a guy. All my friends are guys. I'm as feminine as a monster truck," I assure him. "Just imagine I was Byunbaekbasic. I'm probably manlier than him, too."

Chanyeol blinks a few times, probably because of the beautiful and fitting pet name I gave his best friend. Then he speaks. "You you look v-very feminine."

"Don't judge a book by its cover, okay? I'm a guy, really. So can we start working?"

He doesn't seem to be really convinced, but it's enough to make him sit down.

"Alright, let's talk about ography!" I say, grinning. 

Chanyeol's hands land on his face again. This is going to be funnier that I thought.

The afternoon passes by quickly and turns into evening. At the time Chanyeol and I pack our stuff, it's already around eight o'clock. 

"It's dark outside," I mumble before yawning. I feel extra tired these days. "Let's meet up tomorrow."

We leave the library without saying a word to each other. The only sound are our footsteps echoing through the hallways.

"Sh-should I walk you to your room? It's dangerous for a girl at this time," he stutters out as we arrive at the campus. 

What's with his family being obsessed with walking girls home?

"I'm a guy, did you forget?" I laugh, shaking my head. "I'm okay on my own."

Chanyeol shakes his head when he suddenly takes my hand.

My heart skips a beat.

"It's dangerous," he says with his strong, deep voice. It's the same expression he had when he told me not to hang out with Kai on the party. "You are so tiny and short, please-"

"No, thanks." I shake his hand off, my voice sounding shakier than intended.

I take my chance to flee, running so fast I can hear my own heartbeat.

"So you basically told the guy you were obsessed with only, like, a month ago, that you have a and ran away  shortly afterwards?"

"Kinda?"

Luhan doesn't laugh. "You are really doomed without us."

"Kinda." I sigh, snuggling closer to him.

It's the first time since nearly two weeks that we are able to have a talk. It hurts me that Minseok still has no time because of his Law exam, but it soothes me to be with Luhan.

"You really don't like him anymore?" There's something about his tone I can't quite identify. 

"I don't think so. You know how unforgiving I am. He basically called me a . And yesterday he called me short? Like what the ? His is short."

"You call his friend manwhore all the time. I think that's the same thing. And you are short."

"Yeah, but it's at least true. I'm no hoe. I wish I was, but I'm not. And you're only one-meter-seventy-something, so off."

Luhan reminds me of Minseok, with his serious sighing and soft voice. I close my eyes. "178 centimetres, okay? That's tall as hell."

I roll my eyes before closing them again. "I want to sleep. Please stay and shut the up."

Luhan laughs silently, kissing my forehead. "I'll stay as long as I can, princess. Now sleep."

I nod against his chest, sighing out happily. Leaving your parents behind to keep living in a foreign country might seem to be a bad idea, but when Luhan is in his mom-mode everything is alright.

So I drift into a sleep full of dreams of black locks and red cheeks.

"Can you please shut up? Like, please? Really just shut your ing mouth?"

Luhan might be loving and soft when I fall asleep, but he's annoying and retarded the day after.

"What? I'm just saying!" Luhan puts his hands up in the air, like a criminal showing off how he's not armed.

"Yeah, just saying that I should your . What the , man." I shake my head. After all these years I'm still not accustomed to his weirdness.

"I said that you should think about my maybe, if you refuse to off Chanchan and his brother."

"Don't ing call him Chanchan!" I throw a pillow at him, making him run away shrieking like a girl.

One problem solved.

The day is starting off productively.

Still, concentrating doesn't really work for me. Not when I have to deal with Park Chanyeol.

Looking at him, I ask myself why my friends are feared and infamous while he's just a loser. Seriously, he would fit inside of our group, with his stupid behaviour and his tendency to trip over his own legs all the time. He's like a hyperactive Lay.

Chanyeol doesn't really concentrate, either. 

We meet up at a nearby coffee shop, to avoid getting distracted by Chen, who's probably searching for us in the library right now. He was head over heels for the idea of annoying me for the rest of my life after he heard that I have to do research on ography with Park Chanyeol.

"We gathered some data. Let's evaluate."

Chanyeol doesn't seem to listen to me, though. 

I clap my hands to get his attention. He jumps too heavily in his chair, gasping loudly. Various customers look at us. It's really not easy to deal with this guy.

"Can you god damn listen?" I roll my eyes at him, who is now staring at the underside of the table. 

What the is with this manchild?

"I think I know this place," he mumbles absent-mindly.

I look around. An ordinary Starbucks. Of course he ing knows this place.

"Wow, great. Can we-" I cut my own sentence.

I hear some girls laughing loudly.

"Is he wearing a hoodie in summer?" One whispers loudly, starting to chuckle again.

"Ugh, what a creep! Look at his ears! He looks like Yoda!"

They burst out in laughter once again.

Chanyeol shifts in his seat, obviously feeling uneasy. 

My heart breaks a little when I think about how many girls were talking about his brother's charisma while people seem to gossip about Chanyeol all the time.

"Let's leave," I whisper to Chanyeol, but then the unexpected happens.

Someone from the Starbucks staff appears in front of the girls. His hair black, his statue tall and noodle-y.

What the , no. .

I'm dead.

"Please, leave. We don't tolerate people insulting our customers." The staff's voice is high and monotonous.

How is that god damn possible? How many part time jobs does this have?

The girls leave, gasping and acting like they just got kicked out of the Buckingham Palace. It makes the staff shake his head, before he comes over to our table.

"I knew that I knew this place! Sehun-ah!" Chanyeol smiles brightly at his little brother.

Ugh, I think I'm gonna throw up. 

This is not good. Not at all. 

Please don't, fate-sama. Yamete kudasai. (Whenever I face death my old weeaboo vocabulary comes back to life. Just like that one time I nearly had to go to summer school. I yelled in broken Japanese for three days straight, calling Luhan assfart-kun.)

"Hello, hyung." His voice is cold, just as usual, before he turns to flash me a cocky smile. "Hello, noona."

I swallow. 

"Noona?" Chanyeol rises his brows. "You know her?"

Self-destruction of my reputation in one, two

"Yeah, we made out just a week ago."

Ouch.

Can you hear it? It's me crying from the inside because my life has been ruined once again.

"W-what?" Chanyeol looks at Sehun in horror, then at me, then at Sehun. 

I want the ground to swallow me as a whole and spit me out in Europe.

Sehun grins even brighter at me, before playfully hitting his brother's shoulder. "Just a joke, just a joke, hyung. Don't take everything so serious. She's a regular at the bubble tea shop I work in."

Chanyeol stays silent for a second, looking like he doesn't quite believe that, before he breathes out in relieve. "Don't scare me like this, Sehunnie! You are too young to be dating her!"

Yeah, dating. Because he talked about dating, not making out. Of course.

Poor, innocent Chanyeol.

"So what are you two? Brothers or something?" I laugh nervously. Because I'm stupid and can't hide .

Act cool, gurl. They can't do anything. Except for Sehun, who could kill me right here and then with one simple word. Looking back at the happenings of that night, the word would probably be 'bulge'.

But being stupid apparently is okay, 'cause so is Chanyeol. He just smiles broadly and nods. "He is my baby brother!"

I can practically feel Sehun's hate for Chanyeol bowl with those words. He smiles a big robotic fake smile. "Yes."

"Oh, cool." I nod to myself, god knows why. "You two kinda look alike. But you also kinda don't. It's kinda hard to tell."

I need to stop saying 'kinda' all the time. It kinda makes me sound retarded.

Sehun's face twitches at the "you look alike" part. It's too obvious that he hates being related to Chanyeol. 

It makes me angry for some reason I can't quite grasp.

Chanyeol seems to take it as a compliment, though, blushing slightly and scratching the back of his head like the ordinary boy who's the hero of every slice of life anime.

The awkward atmosphere doesn't want to fade, even after Sehun brings us our drinks. It's a weird Starbucks, getting service and everything, but Korea is a weird country, so whatever.

I can't talk about with Chanyeol while Sehun is watching us. This is impossible. Not even for a good grade. I have my limitations too, you know.

So I mumble out some random lame excuse involving diarherria and Luhan setting something on fire and leave in a hurry.

The door falls open with Sehun shooting me a last glare that says "We need to talk about this".

He pulled the trigger.

I'm so sorry for the trouble I caused, guys! I went through some serious to post this. Somehow this chapter got lost after I posted it from my mobile phone, so I had to rewrite everything... It won't happen again, I promise, and thank you all for your patience!

Also thank you all so much for your support and kind comments. I really am happy about every single comment, sub and upvote. I usually don't answer comments because I am super awkward and I would probably just answer in capslock and a lot of 'jdjdkdjd', but I read every single one over and over again and feel so extremly happy. You guys are the best. ♡ 

If you have the time, be sure to vote here for your favourite character, so I can see which characters are popular or need to be improved. http://www.poll-maker.com/poll367721xcdb046B0-14 Thanks in advance!