I took a deep breath before I pressed the doorbell. My lips formed a smile as I heard someone running to the door accompanied by dog barking sounds.

So here I am, at her place again even after knowing that she has a boyfriend. This is me standing in front of her door, because even I know this is all a mess, that I only end up with a broken heart, I still decided to love her secretly. The thought of not talking to her again, not seeing her again, not spending time with her again with unbearable.

I am preparing, I really am.

I'm preparing my heart to let her go when the time comes.

But right now, I just want to be with her.

Even if it means nothing to her, it means everything to me.

I smiled as the door opened. Jackjack and Gongju barking happily, waggling their tails while Amber tried to stop them jumping on my leg.

“Jackjack! Gongju! No jumping! Get back inside!”

But they are too excited to listen to Amber, they excitedly circling me. I giggled.

“They missed you so much” Amber said

I walked inside, put my bag on the floor, lifted both of them and they immediately launch their extra wet welcoming face attack.

“Okay, okay, aisssh I missed you guys too, now please don't flood my face with your drool”

“Me too” Amber turned around and looked at me.

“Pardon?”

“You heard me” she got back to whatever she was doing behind the kitchen, I could only stare at her back.

“I didn't.” I put the dogs down “What did you say?” Of course I heard it, just not sure what she meant.

Amber lifted her head, looked at me without saying a word for a little while. I could see how she was hesitating, but at the end she repeated her words “I missed you, Krys.”

She avoided looking at me and didn't say anything anymore afterward, busy chopping and cutting something.

Don't do this to me, Amber.

Do you even know what those words mean to me?

Don't say things that will make me fall even harder for you because I might not know how to let go.

I took Gongju in my arms, I hugged her trying to suppress the urge to cry. 

Why you? Why does it have to be you?

Wasn't love supposed to be happy? To give you butterflies in your stomach? To make you grin the whole day?

You chose to love her, Soojung. Every decision comes with a consequence. 

“Hey, Krys” Amber jumped to me, grinning with her big beautiful eyes.

This girl, one moment she got all awkward, the other moment she got all clingy and happy. I sighed.

“Lets do something else today. The weather said it's going to rain later, but it's still very sunny and warm. Let's have a picnic with Jackjack and Gongju. I just finished the picnic basket”

“Okay...” I said “Where do we go?”

“There's a park behind the hotel, around 5 minutes. It belongs to the hotel, only guests can enter the park. Want to go there?”

“Sure” I got up and grabbed my bag

“Leave your bag here. You want to take Jackjack or Gongju?”

“I'll take Jackjack”

“Okay. The leash is behind the door. Can you put Gongju's too? I'm going to get a blanket”

“Sure”

I will never get used how people in the hotels always bow in our direction each time they see Amber. She happily swinging the picnic basket, it seems she doesn't even noticing how people are bowing at her.

She must be used to this.

Crazy.

We walked the small path behind the hotel, after a few minutes all I saw is tall fences guarded by a scary looking security. He bowed 90° the moment he saw Amber.

“Miss Liu”

Amber nodded a little to the now-not-too-scary-sweaty-security “We would like to go to the park”

“Sure, Miss. I'll send the other people out” 

“You don't have to” Amber said. The guard opened the door and my jaw dropped.

How can I didn't even know that a park like this exist? 

Amber unleashed Gongju who run happily inside the park, I unleashed Jackjack and he stormed inside the park, playing chase happily with Gongju.

“Have a good time, Miss Liu” The security bowed again “Miss...” he even bowed to me too.

Weird.

Amber put her hand on my back as we went through the gate.

“Wow, this is... just wow...” I lost of words, seeing how b