Dear Plan, I Can't Follow You Anymore

Paper Heart
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“Baekhyun,”

 

“He’s so perfect. So so so perfect.”

 

“Baek–”

 

“You don't understand! His smile, his laugh, his eyes, everything’s perfect.” Baekhyun sighed blissfully. Ignoring Jongdae’s warning of kicking him out, he took a spoonful of his strawberry ice cream before adding with an idiotic grin, “He held my hand on our way to the cafe and recounted me stories of his youth while feeding me his chocolate cake.”

 

Baekhyun squealed, earning a few stares from some customers behind him. Noticing that, Jongdae sent a glare in Baekhyun's direction, but ended up sighing because the boy was way too busy giggling in his hands to pay him attention. “Did he really?” Jongdae asked, knowing that Baekhyun tend to exagerate the reality–or confound it with his dreams.

 

“..Well…”

 

“Baekhyun.”

 

“Okay, he may have held my arm instead of my hand because I stumbled on the sidewalk, making him laugh which gathered a crowd around us, but! He did recount me stories of his youth, embarassing ones that sounded quite inapropriate to tell in a public place, but his voice is so beautiful, I didn’t mind the judging looks from the waiter and that family sitting a table away from us.”

 

Aside from making him look crazy, the huge love-struck smile on Baekhyun’s face was so bright, Jongdae didn’t have the heart to tell him that his crush on ‘Yeolie’ was, obviously, one sided. Instead, he sealed his words behind an encouraging smile accompanying the pity painting his features. “He fed you his dessert. That’s nice.” That was true. At least, there was hope for their relationship to evolve into something more. But, as he got no reaction from Baekhyun who suddenly seemed to find his empty cup really interesting, Jongdae sighed.

 

“Baekhyun…”

 

“..He didn’t really feed me, per se...” Baekhyun mumbled, “I ate it because he was full, but he handed it to me!” he finished in a cry, his fist pounding against the counter startling a mother and his child taking their order a meter away. Jongdae bowed, sending them an apologetic smile before half hissing, half whispering at Baekhyun to keep his voice low. A warning that the latter, once again, ignored as he suddenly stood up to grasp Jongdae’s shoulders and stare at him with eyes sparkling in determination. “It’s the same thing, right?”

 

Baekhyun needed help. Jongdae had thought that for a long time–since he met him honestly–now but, as he watched Baekhyun’s hard expression morphing into a grimace as he started laughing hysterically, Jongdae never thought that he would have went as far as worrying for his life and those of the other employees and customers. A chance that the chatter covered the sound that would have certainly create a commotion if Baekhyun hadn’t plopped back down on the stool with a soft chuckle and scoffing a “Of course it is”, the sudden transformation giving Jongdae another reason to believe in his fears.

 

Someone entered the shop and Jongdae watched as the familiar person took casual steps towards the counter. “Hey, Sehun.” He greeted once the boy was near.

 

Sehun smiled back at him. “Is Lay hyung here?”

 

“No, he’s not working today.”

 

Jongdae’s answer had Sehun mouthing an ‘Ah’, a little frown finding its way on his face as he seemed to think of the different places Lay could be. Before Jongdae could give him a few suggestions, Sehun nodded and bowed his head at both him and Baekhyun then turned around, ready to leave, but the latter stopped him by grabbing his arm. “Wait, I’m coming with you,” Baekhyun said as he hopped off his stool. “Since I have a class in ten or three minutes.” he added nonchalantly as he linked arms with the younger.

 

“Don’t bother him with your love stories!” Jongdae called out just when they were about to step outside. Baekhyun stuck his tongue out in reply, making Jongdae laugh as he returned to his work.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

It was with a small smile that Luhan arrived in front of his locker, all thanks to Chanyeol beside him, making him laugh every now and then with his jokes. Luhan had already heard most of them, but Chanyeol's serious descriptions emphasized by the stupidity of his puns was such a weird – and adorable – combination, they still sounded funny in his ears. Especially since they were told to make him feel better. 

 

They had met around lunch time. Luhan was alone, absentmindly listening the chatter filling the cafeteria when Chanyeol took the seat next to him. His friend probably saw that Luhan wasn’t his usual self because as soon as Luhan looked up from his untouched food to return Chanyeol's cheerful greeting, the older catched the corners of Chanyeol’s lips going down for a second before a wider grin spread on his face.

 

Luhan had said sorry countless times for not paying much attention to him, and Chanyeol had always waved his excuses off if he wasn’t loudly laughing because Luhan reacted to something he said seconds later.

 

Chanyeol didn’t ask what was the matter behind Luhan’s short replies and inattention, and Luhan was glad he didn’t. He, anyway wasn’t comfortable to talk about what was troubling his mind. Throughout all his morning classes, images of Sehun holding him, touching him, kissing him, loving him would loom up in his mind, and since seeing them was not enough

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silentescapade
#1
Well, here it is. 7 years! This may be my final comment, but who knows? I might come back again next year, or I might come back in a few years… I don’t want to completely leave this behind forever, but I also don’t know how long we can consistently keep this going. So this may be my last long, deep message, but hopefully I remember to drop by with quick comments in the future. I definitely didn’t expect these messages to turn into this or become a regular thing when I first started commenting here. But it really is so wholesome, and I’m glad to hear it helped you. It helped me stay grounded too.

Happy new year to you too! These past couple of years have been rough, but I hope you’re doing well and staying safe.

I graduated from uni a semester early, so I finished a couple of months ago! Now I have to prepare to be a real adult haha. Since I'm done with uni, I figured it was also a good time to bring these comments to a close, but now that I’m here, it feels very bittersweet.

It really doesn’t feel like 7 years have gone by. Time moves so slowly in the present but it seems to have flown by when I reflect on it. Like I said before, this fic is precious to me because it represents many aspects of my young life and brings back lots of fond memories. I was so invested in Kpop, EXO, shipping, and all of that stuff in those days. I feel old looking back on things like this lol. But I think those were some of the best times of my life.

So, thank you. For Paper Heart. For writing. For creating something I will always cherish. For reading my annual comments and replying every year. For all of the memories.

Thank you for everything. ❤️
silentescapade
#2
6 years!! This one won’t be as deep as last year hehe, just some random thoughts. (I love reading your responses btw - I don’t reply to them because it feels right to leave it as it is, but I promise I read them every year.)

Since last year, I’ve delved back into Kpop a bit, and I decided to simply enjoy the content for what it is. I try to stay away from the toxicity in the community and instead just quietly listen to the music and watch videos/shows for my own comfort. I’m sad that Kpop isn’t what it used to be, and I will always miss the old times, but I’m happy that I’m still able to love Kpop like I used to. Nothing is the same as it was, but this is more than enough for me. This fic reminds me of how things were back then, and I am satisfied with that.

I had a long break from uni, so I’ve been reading a lot more fanfics these days and revisiting some old ones as well. I just reread this fic again after a long time and it’s just as good as it was back then :) I don’t know what it is, I just really like your writing style.

Reading Paper Heart again now, from beginning to end, is kinda weird because I still feel all of the emotions that I probably did when I first read it in its entirety (which was so long ago that I don’t even really remember what I was feeling tbh). But it’s funny because I still experience all of the frustration and happiness and heart-flutters with thoughts like, “Oh my god if Baekhyun interrupts one more time I swear-“ and “Awww Sehun~” and “Wow, Chanyeol is really dumb.” I remembered some of my favorite chapters quite vividly, but I think I forgot enough of the fic for it to feel like I was reading it for the first time again, haha. And 6 years later, I love it all the same.

This was just a bunch of random blurbs, so I’m gonna stop now. 2020 was an awful year, so here’s to hoping that 2021 is better. I hope you are okay and doing well, both mentally and physically, despite everything that is happening with the pandemic. Stay safe.

See you next year (hopefully).
xiaolin98 #3
Chapter 29: I am glad that finally they choose to stay with each other. The happy ending. But, I can't help but wonder about Luhan's parents reaction too
xiaolin98 #4
Chapter 29: Awwww sehun is so so romantic
xiaolin98 #5
Chapter 27: Sehun!! You can't say that to your hyung really !!
xiaolin98 #6
Chapter 26: Noooo.. why Luhan's parent is such a er really
xiaolin98 #7
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #8
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #9
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #10
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable