Dear Brain, Select These Thoughts and Delete Them

Paper Heart
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After leaving Luhan and Sehun’s room, Baekhyun was now walking to his own with a smile.

 

A few hours before, when he learned that his man and Luhan not only knew each other but were with each other, Baekhyun had called his roommate. Pitiful whines and mumbles of ‘I’m going to die’ were enough to see, in front of his blurry eyes, his roommate rushing towards him with a worried face. The tears had fallen down when Kyungsoo brought him into his arms and pat his back while listening to the whole story.

 

Baekhyun was thankful to Kyungsoo. Even when the reason behind his tears completely changed when the soothing on his back transformed into rough slaps on his head.

 

Well, it was true that freaking out his roommate and getting him out of his class just to let him hear yet another one of the crush stories he had for lullaby the past 6 months was a tiny bit too much, but for a strong person like Baekhyun, crying was a serious matter and he needed comfort. Kyungsoo, being the first person Baekhyun thought of to give him that, should feel blessed.

 

Anyway. Welcoming his room with a grin, Baekhyun shouted his usual greeting, “Kyungsoo! I’m hungry!”

 

Now, what he was awaiting for was the usual sight of his roommate not looking up from his laptop’s screen and ignoring him. As usual, Baekhyun would handle the situation calmly by advancing towards him, closing the laptop lid and repeating his greeting with a smile despite his roommate’s death glare.

 

In other words, what Baekhyun was awaiting for was the usual routine.

 

Not an heart attack.

 

Because his man being in front of him was not the usual routine.

 

Not at all.

 

"Hey, Baekhyun, right? Are you feeling better?"

 

With his mouth agape, Baekhyun nodded dumbly, even though he didn't know what that gesture meant anymore.

 

"Good," Chanyeol said with a toothy grin that had Baekhyun’s eyes widening because hey, he wasn’t ready for another heart attack. "Well, see you?" With that, Chanyeol waved and passed by an awestruck Baekhyun who watched his man’s slim body walking down the hallway so graciously, Baekhyun had to clench his hands to not run after him, bring him in his bed and get rid of his sinfully tight clothes. Baekhyun shook his dirty fantaisies away, those were for later because, right now, he needed to talk to his roommate.

 

"Do ing Kyungsoo!" Baekhyun yelled while stomping to said boy’s side. "What the ing was my man doing here?!"

 

Without looking up from his laptop, Kyungsoo answered, “Chanyeol came to ask me something.”

 

"What the ?! How does he even know you?!"

 

"If you listened to me sometimes and stopped wailing every ing night about how hot Chanyeol is and how he would look better in your bed, you would know that I have a class with him since the debut of the year." Kyungsoo replied without bothering a glance at his roommate. Knowing that it was a matter of second before his laptop was harshly shut close, Kyungsoo saved his files. He soon found out that it wasn’t what he should have saved from Baekhyun’s hands as they grabbed his collar to lift him up from his seat. Kyungsoo was about to give his roommate a lesson with his own fists for nearly killing him from strangulation when the latter brought him into his arms for a bone-crushing hug.

 

"Oh my God! Oh my God! He looked at me and smiled at me and said my name and he knows me and he’s so perfect and oh my God!"

 

Kyungsoo sighed on Baekhyun’s shoulder. His resolve to kill his roommate gone as he returned the embrace. It was great that his roommate was happy, but Kyungsoo wanted to finish his composition and Baekhyun’s rambling with his high-pitched voice was quite painful for the musical student's ears...

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

"Please."

 

"No."

 

Sehun groaned on Jongin’s pillow. He lifted his head a bit to show his friend his begging eyes because maybe words were not enough for Jongin to comprehend how desesperate he was. Sehun stared at him for a good minute but to no avail as he clearly understood that, either it was given by his mouth or his gaze, Jongin’s reply was still ‘No’. Sehun dropped his head on the pillow and sighed.

 

Jongin, who came out of the bathroom a few minutes ago, sat at the edge of the bed and nudged Sehun’s leg with the hand that was not drying his hair with a towel. “What’s wrong with you? Luhan is nice.”

 

"Not when he starts pinching your cheeks as a thank you for remembering his favorite

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silentescapade
#1
Well, here it is. 7 years! This may be my final comment, but who knows? I might come back again next year, or I might come back in a few years… I don’t want to completely leave this behind forever, but I also don’t know how long we can consistently keep this going. So this may be my last long, deep message, but hopefully I remember to drop by with quick comments in the future. I definitely didn’t expect these messages to turn into this or become a regular thing when I first started commenting here. But it really is so wholesome, and I’m glad to hear it helped you. It helped me stay grounded too.

Happy new year to you too! These past couple of years have been rough, but I hope you’re doing well and staying safe.

I graduated from uni a semester early, so I finished a couple of months ago! Now I have to prepare to be a real adult haha. Since I'm done with uni, I figured it was also a good time to bring these comments to a close, but now that I’m here, it feels very bittersweet.

It really doesn’t feel like 7 years have gone by. Time moves so slowly in the present but it seems to have flown by when I reflect on it. Like I said before, this fic is precious to me because it represents many aspects of my young life and brings back lots of fond memories. I was so invested in Kpop, EXO, shipping, and all of that stuff in those days. I feel old looking back on things like this lol. But I think those were some of the best times of my life.

So, thank you. For Paper Heart. For writing. For creating something I will always cherish. For reading my annual comments and replying every year. For all of the memories.

Thank you for everything. ❤️
silentescapade
#2
6 years!! This one won’t be as deep as last year hehe, just some random thoughts. (I love reading your responses btw - I don’t reply to them because it feels right to leave it as it is, but I promise I read them every year.)

Since last year, I’ve delved back into Kpop a bit, and I decided to simply enjoy the content for what it is. I try to stay away from the toxicity in the community and instead just quietly listen to the music and watch videos/shows for my own comfort. I’m sad that Kpop isn’t what it used to be, and I will always miss the old times, but I’m happy that I’m still able to love Kpop like I used to. Nothing is the same as it was, but this is more than enough for me. This fic reminds me of how things were back then, and I am satisfied with that.

I had a long break from uni, so I’ve been reading a lot more fanfics these days and revisiting some old ones as well. I just reread this fic again after a long time and it’s just as good as it was back then :) I don’t know what it is, I just really like your writing style.

Reading Paper Heart again now, from beginning to end, is kinda weird because I still feel all of the emotions that I probably did when I first read it in its entirety (which was so long ago that I don’t even really remember what I was feeling tbh). But it’s funny because I still experience all of the frustration and happiness and heart-flutters with thoughts like, “Oh my god if Baekhyun interrupts one more time I swear-“ and “Awww Sehun~” and “Wow, Chanyeol is really dumb.” I remembered some of my favorite chapters quite vividly, but I think I forgot enough of the fic for it to feel like I was reading it for the first time again, haha. And 6 years later, I love it all the same.

This was just a bunch of random blurbs, so I’m gonna stop now. 2020 was an awful year, so here’s to hoping that 2021 is better. I hope you are okay and doing well, both mentally and physically, despite everything that is happening with the pandemic. Stay safe.

See you next year (hopefully).
xiaolin98 #3
Chapter 29: I am glad that finally they choose to stay with each other. The happy ending. But, I can't help but wonder about Luhan's parents reaction too
xiaolin98 #4
Chapter 29: Awwww sehun is so so romantic
xiaolin98 #5
Chapter 27: Sehun!! You can't say that to your hyung really !!
xiaolin98 #6
Chapter 26: Noooo.. why Luhan's parent is such a er really
xiaolin98 #7
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #8
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #9
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #10
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable