Dear Future, My Mind Is Clouded with Thoughts and It Makes You Unclear

Paper Heart
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Luhan was carefully tracing Sehun’s features with his eyes, drawing every lines in his mind. He would gladly do it with his fingers, graze the smooth skin and simultanuously brush away the strands of hair cascading over his closed eyelids, but Luhan knew that Sehun was a light sleeper, so he restrained himself from doing so.


This was wrong. No matter how reassuring being nestled in Sehun’s arms felt, Luhan couldn’t sleep. Actually, the familiarity of it all brought a discomfort Luhan wished could vanish.


He should have stopped it from happening. Luhan knew that, but all rational thoughts were gone as soon as he got a taste of Sehun’s lips feeling like sweet whispers on his owns, then Luhan had wanted to seal the promises they seemed to convey. He had let Sehun plant more of them near his ear, down his jaw and further down his neck, leaving a few bruises there that had Luhan shudder and gasping for more.


This was wrong. Terribly wrong. But Luhan didn’t want to regret it. Even if it lasted one moment, even if Sehun might hate him a lot more when morning come, Luhan had wanted to remember what it felt like to be worth, thus he allowed himself a break by drowning his fears and all those dark thoughts in the pure pleasure of Sehun’s careful touches.


Again, this was wrong. Extremely wrong, as Luhan may had not forced Sehun to do this, he didn’t stop him either, and that only was enough for him to sigh in guilt. Just then, an hand on his cheek had Luhan snap his head up in surprise.


Sehun was looking straight at him with tired yet expressive eyes. There was something scary about their capicity of baring Luhan, making him feel exposed as though as they could reach his soul, and their depth so dark, curiosity would think twice before searching what’s hidden in them.


In spite of Sehun’s warm hand and proximity, Luhan’s whole body was frozen, afraid that the spell he was envelopped in would leave him and dissipate the illusion he wanted to keep on living in. However, he soon understood that Sehun only wanted his attention.


“Are you cold?”


Sehun’s voice was gruff and probably an octave lower, but Luhan solely took into account the gentle tone he asked his question with. Luhan blinked as Sehun patiently waited for an answer. Hopefully the younger’s face was getting blurry only because Luhan was about to wake up from this dream. Still, he shook his head slowly, closing his eyes in the process as Sehun’s hand left his cheek to wrap the blanket tighter around them. Luhan could only bow his head in compliance as the arm around his waist hold him closer to a bare chest and inhale deeply while wondering how long this was going to last.


The room was bathing in a cozy and quiet atmosphere, yet Luhan was anything but comfortable with his loud inner voices. He knew that the longer he would take to give them a reply, the harder coming back to reality would be so, gathering all the strength he could find in him, Luhan shifted a bit to face Sehun, but his desire crumbled into a hope as a pair of lips resting on his forehead halted his movement.


“Stay here.”


It came out as neither a plea nor a demand, but Luhan obeyed anyway by laying back down. There wasn’t a hint of affection in them, simply a low murmur that carressed Luhan’s skin and

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