Dear Reality, I Guess It's Time for Me to Come Back

Paper Heart
Please log in to read the full chapter

 

They didn’t wait a second. After hearing the news, Sehun and Luhan had rushed outside the dorm to the street, and in Sehun’s car.

 

Everything happened so fast. Luhan had trouble putting on his seatbelt and groaned in frustation at the third attempt. Thinking that they were already on the road, he was a bit surprised when slim fingers brushed his to do what his trembling hands couldn’t. Luhan didn’t have time to thank him that Sehun started the engine in full speed.

 

Keeping his eyes closed and his questions unsaid, Luhan was plunged in a somber silence the whole ride. It felt like a minute passed when the car came to a stop. Luhan opened his eyes at a tap on his shoulder to see that they were parked a few blocks away from a white building.

 

Even though they weren’t meant for him, the reassuring words Sehun spoke to the person on the other line soothe Luhan’s heartbeat during the few meters they had to walk to reach the hospital. His fast pace had no effect on his calm voice that must have decreased the person’s worry, because it did for Luhan’s.

 

Sehun ended the call once they stepped inside. He showed the way and Luhan followed, climbing two stairs because they didn’t take the time to look for the lift.

 

They passed by several rooms and nurses to finally stumble upon the person they were looking for, Luhan supposed, since he almost bumped against Sehun’s back when the younger suddenly came to an halt. Luhan peered passed Sehun’s shoulder to see a man, probably their age, standing outside a closed door and bitting his nails. Luhan only had a second to see the boy’s face when he turned around at the call of his name before he lunched himself in Sehun’s arms and hid his tears in his shoulder.

 

Sehun’s arms immediatly went around his friend to his back and mitigate his sobs by mumbling on his ear the same reassuring words he had told him over the phone. Sehun’s physical presence was what was missing for the shaking boy to calm down. Realizing that, Sehun pulled away and gently cupped the side of his friend’s face to lift it up so he could wipe his tears away.

 

Seeing the man’s red eyes, Luhan thought that what he should be feeling was compassion. However, watching Sehun being so close to someone brought back memories Luhan clung onto like the boy was desesperatly clutching the back of Sehun’s shirt. It brought different emotions Luhan shouldn’t feel right now, so he shook them off to focus on Sehun solely.

 

He grew up a lot, Luhan remarked, as he stared at his kind smile that succeed on cheering up the mood of his friend whose lips twitched up in a thin smile.

 

Sehun changed, Luhan thought as his mind went back to a few years ago when Sehun would be the one being reassured instead of the other way around. The Sehun he knew wouldn’t be this calm. It was amazing that he worked on keeping some of his emotions at bay because, even though people had often scolded him for guarding his true feelings to himself, concealing some inside meant that he learned what was better to do in this kind of situation.

 

Luhan blinked back to the present when he sensed eyes on him. He hastily bowed to Sehun’s friend whose stare lingered on him even after he straightened up. Luhan could understand that the boy was intently listening to what Sehun was saying, but his focused gaze was kind of terrifying and it made Luhan fidget uncomfortably. Thankfully, after a short nod at Sehun’s words, a small smile lighted up his crestfallen face. Luhan sighed in relief and returned a friendly smile in return.

 

A nurse came out of the room to tell them that Jongin was awake and ready to receive visit. Luhan’s grin disappeared behind a frown when Sehun made it clear that his friend was the only one going to see Jongin after letting him go inside and closing the door just after.

 

Luhan was a bit disappointed as he wanted to see Jongin too, but since Sehun also stayed outside, Luhan didn’t question it. He, anyway, couldn’t with his tummy grumbling to be filled. Luhan whined in embarrassment as the sound resonated in the whole hallway, making him regret not eating that damn ice cream earlier. He closed his eyes tight shut and clutched his belly as though it would make it stop.

 

"Are you hungry?"

 

Luhan whirled his head around to face Sehun who was sitting on the chair next to him. His sneering tone paired with his amused face had Luhan frown and refuse to break eye contact since it would look like a defeat to him – albeit it was already the case if one take into account his flushed face. He shook his head, ready to refute Sehun’s question further more with a ‘no’ when another growl echoed in the empty corridor that was soon filled with Sehun’s laughter. Luhan resisted the urge to punch him in the gut by looking away. If Sehun could feel better thanks to him, it gave his embarrassment a purpose, so it succeed on lessening it a bit.

 

As something was thrown on his lap, Luhan directed his gaze towards it. He picked the chocolate bar, looked at it, then at Sehun with both of his eyebrows raised.

 

"What? It’s not poisoned."

 

Luhan rolled his eyes and opened the wrapper. He took a bit and munched slowly, savoring the exquise chocolate that melt so wonderfully on his tongue. It was the first thing he ate today and though it would definitely not be enough to satiate his empty stomach, it would maybe stop the embarrassing grumbles for a while.

 

When he was done, to not give Sehun another reason to mock him, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before giving the younger a shipish smile. When he did that, he wasn’t awaiting for Sehun to be attentively staring at him.

 

In his eyes was that same glint Luhan saw earlier. The one he couldn’t take his eyes off and made his breath hitch.

 

Luhan’s smile increasingly fell. He was scared yet thrilled by Sehun’s gaze. On one hand, he had the sudden urge to thank him for the chocolate bar with his lips, but not through words anymore; he wanted Sehun to feel the taste on his own tongue and sense how fast his heart was beating. While, on the other hand, he knew that doing that would be absolutely inappropriate considering that they were in an hospital. Considering that Luhan shouldn’t want to do anything willfully intimate with Sehun anymore–or even think about it in that matter.

 

But, no matter how much he supressed this particular feeling, the want was here, painfully tightening his chest when he broke

Please log in to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
silentescapade
#1
Well, here it is. 7 years! This may be my final comment, but who knows? I might come back again next year, or I might come back in a few years… I don’t want to completely leave this behind forever, but I also don’t know how long we can consistently keep this going. So this may be my last long, deep message, but hopefully I remember to drop by with quick comments in the future. I definitely didn’t expect these messages to turn into this or become a regular thing when I first started commenting here. But it really is so wholesome, and I’m glad to hear it helped you. It helped me stay grounded too.

Happy new year to you too! These past couple of years have been rough, but I hope you’re doing well and staying safe.

I graduated from uni a semester early, so I finished a couple of months ago! Now I have to prepare to be a real adult haha. Since I'm done with uni, I figured it was also a good time to bring these comments to a close, but now that I’m here, it feels very bittersweet.

It really doesn’t feel like 7 years have gone by. Time moves so slowly in the present but it seems to have flown by when I reflect on it. Like I said before, this fic is precious to me because it represents many aspects of my young life and brings back lots of fond memories. I was so invested in Kpop, EXO, shipping, and all of that stuff in those days. I feel old looking back on things like this lol. But I think those were some of the best times of my life.

So, thank you. For Paper Heart. For writing. For creating something I will always cherish. For reading my annual comments and replying every year. For all of the memories.

Thank you for everything. ❤️
silentescapade
#2
6 years!! This one won’t be as deep as last year hehe, just some random thoughts. (I love reading your responses btw - I don’t reply to them because it feels right to leave it as it is, but I promise I read them every year.)

Since last year, I’ve delved back into Kpop a bit, and I decided to simply enjoy the content for what it is. I try to stay away from the toxicity in the community and instead just quietly listen to the music and watch videos/shows for my own comfort. I’m sad that Kpop isn’t what it used to be, and I will always miss the old times, but I’m happy that I’m still able to love Kpop like I used to. Nothing is the same as it was, but this is more than enough for me. This fic reminds me of how things were back then, and I am satisfied with that.

I had a long break from uni, so I’ve been reading a lot more fanfics these days and revisiting some old ones as well. I just reread this fic again after a long time and it’s just as good as it was back then :) I don’t know what it is, I just really like your writing style.

Reading Paper Heart again now, from beginning to end, is kinda weird because I still feel all of the emotions that I probably did when I first read it in its entirety (which was so long ago that I don’t even really remember what I was feeling tbh). But it’s funny because I still experience all of the frustration and happiness and heart-flutters with thoughts like, “Oh my god if Baekhyun interrupts one more time I swear-“ and “Awww Sehun~” and “Wow, Chanyeol is really dumb.” I remembered some of my favorite chapters quite vividly, but I think I forgot enough of the fic for it to feel like I was reading it for the first time again, haha. And 6 years later, I love it all the same.

This was just a bunch of random blurbs, so I’m gonna stop now. 2020 was an awful year, so here’s to hoping that 2021 is better. I hope you are okay and doing well, both mentally and physically, despite everything that is happening with the pandemic. Stay safe.

See you next year (hopefully).
xiaolin98 #3
Chapter 29: I am glad that finally they choose to stay with each other. The happy ending. But, I can't help but wonder about Luhan's parents reaction too
xiaolin98 #4
Chapter 29: Awwww sehun is so so romantic
xiaolin98 #5
Chapter 27: Sehun!! You can't say that to your hyung really !!
xiaolin98 #6
Chapter 26: Noooo.. why Luhan's parent is such a er really
xiaolin98 #7
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #8
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #9
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable
xiaolin98 #10
Chapter 25: They are super diper aborable