Dear Heart, Always Hold Onto the Next Beat

Paper Heart
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Baekhyun didn’t know how long he stayed in bed staring at the white ceiling. A few seconds, or hours, days maybe, time didn’t matter for someone having a mental breakdown, especially when it leads to certain death. Judging from the missing beats of his heart, Baekhyun was surely going to pass away soon – if he hadn’t already.


Kyungsoo entered the room carefully; something he would always do when coming late, so the surprise in his voice as he saw that Baekhyun – who needs at least ten hours of sleep to greet the morning with a smile thank you very much – was still awake was an understandment.


“Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo called. In an instant, he was at the foot of Baekhyun’s bed, his wide eyes scanning Baekhyun's body, checking if the boy was alright. The look on his face however, was telling Baekhyun that his roommate was actually inspecting if he was even breathing, and his worried tone confirmed Baekhyun’s speculation. “Is something wrong?”


Baekhyun needed a few seconds to give an answer. “Chanyeol knows.”


“What? Chanyeol knows what?”


“He knows about… you know…” Baekhyun sat up and threw a pitiful glance at his confused friend before sighing in his hands. Baekhyun was alone and lost in the darkness, searching for the light of comfort which always showed itself through reassuring words or better, a physical presence that hugged all his problems away. But, unable to find it, Baekhyun peeked through his fingers and found his comfort provider in front of their wardrobe, seemingly not caring about Baekhyun's inner struggle as he changed into his pajamas. Afronted about his roommate's lack of compassion, Baekhyun gasped loudly. “Do Kyungsoo! How dare you not care about me and my problems?!”


“What problems?” Kyungsoo asked calmy without turning around. “That Chanyeol’s now aware you’ve been his stalker since high school is a problem? Stop being dramatic.”


“I’m not being dramatic! This is a dramatic situation!”

Kyungsoo sighed. “It won’t be anymore if you just tell him everything. I don't understand why you haven't done that already.”


Baekhyun bit his lips. As he fiddled with his fingers, he mumbled, “I’m going to participate to the Talent Show…”


“What, really?” Kyungsoo finally looked at him, a surprised expression on his face.


“Yes! With our song! It was supposed to be a surprise. Like, you know, a grand revelation of my identity as his soulmate. I planned the perfect love confession, but now it’s useless because he heard and he knows and I’m really sad and I’m certainly going to die and do you see the problem, now? Do you see the ing problem, Soo?!”


Kyungsoo rolled his eyes while advancing toward his bed. “Yeah, yeah.”


Sighing dejectedly, Baekhyun pouted. “Reality … one sided love …”


After sliding under the cover and meeting his roommate’s sad eyes, Kyungsoo’s lips turned up in a gentle, reminiscent smile. “It’s difficult indeed.”


“Oh, yeah, you went through that too…”


“Mmh. Jongin would always push me away when I tried to get closer to him. It was difficult at first, and Jongin grew colder until Sehun forced him to tell me why he was acting like that. I later learned it was because he was scared. Scared of wanting something he couldn’t have,” Kyungsoo explained, a barely noticeable emotion was hidding beneath his steady tone, yet the grief resonated clearly in Baekhyun’s ears.


“…It must have been hard for you.”


“Honestly, yes. But I can’t complain; it was harder for Jongin.”


Baekhyun stared at Kyungsoo with an apologetic gaze. Him and Jongin were going through so much hardships, which included keeping their relationship hidden from everyone, even their friends. While Baekhyun had no idea whether he would be able to overcome them if he was at their place and not drown in his sorrows, Kyungsoo stays bright and even helps him while having all these difficulties he could talk about with no one but Jongin. That their relationship was so strong after so many years spent worrying over their issues and accepting those flaws that could have dimmed their love more than once was truly remarkable.


“Don’t give up,” Kyungsoo said, cutting Baekhyun's train of thoughts. "Chanyeol might have rejected you before, but I know you can prove him now that he made the wrong choice."


Baekhyun smiled thankfully. “You're right. Thank you, Soo,” he whispered as he laid back on his bed with a relieved sigh. He felt so much better. His strengh was back, and his confidence too. “Hey, Soo?”




“Be my boyfriend.”


“Yeah– what?!”


“Be my boyfriend,” Baekhyun repeated, voice serious. “Jongin’s not worth all those troubles.”


Kyungsoo blinked at him for a few seconds before turning his back to him.


“Hey, but seriously! You should consider that option. Imagine; me, you, in our own house, maybe with a child, or two?”


“Goodnight, Baekhyun.”


“I’ll be a great husband, I swear!”








The lights coming from outside the windows tickled Luhan’s skin as he woke up to the obnoxiously loud sound of his alarm. It forcefully pulled him out of his sleep with a whine as he blindly searched for his phone that he found on the nightstand and quickly stop from destroying his hearing. Luhan sighed in delight at the silence and returned in his earlier position, comfortably snuggled under the cover. He wanted, but most importantly, needed to get a few more minutes in bed. A voice, however, was bothering him, making him unable to return in dreamland.


Luhan frowned. Opening his eyes a smidge to glare at his annoying roommate talking on the phone, he was about to tell Sehun to shut up when his mind, which unfortunately started to

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