- Chapter Four - "To protect you."

Sitting in the black Cadillac Escalade, four men were remaining silent while looking straight in front of them. Yoochun had driven them to Gongju at the demand of Yunho. The man wanted to talk with Jaejoong's parents. And Changmin and Junsu didn't let the two men go without them, wanting to face everything together not doing things independently of each other like before. They didn't want to do the same mistakes which led them to lose an important member of their group.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to be there?" Changmin asked suddenly, shaking his head at the view of those people in front of his Jaejoong hyung's parents house.

"It's me who want to see them..." Yunho breathed out. "So if you don't want to be here you can-"

"We're going with you." Yoochun cut Yunho, never unlocked his eyes from the few reporters and curious onlookers, or he could say curious fans who were standing in front of the front gate of Kim Jaejoong's parents house, trying to have some information about the man's whereabouts since the news of his disappearance was disclosed. "They are his parents. They must know where he is."

"But we did ask them before and they said that they don't know where is Jae hyung." Junsu added with a disgusted grimace. The young man had asked those reporters to respect his hyung's choice and life. But, some tabloids refused to let go of a piece of news which could make them earn a lot of money.

"Yoochun hyung is right." Changmin replied. "They must know where he is. They must know. How could Jaejoong hyung let them in the dark? He must say something to them. He must. Yes... we will find him..."

"Don't be like this." Junsu sighed, squeezing his maknae's left hand in his, trying to comfort the young man's distress. He knew that Changmin was afraid of not having the right answer from them. And he was too, like the other two men with them. "He asked us to not try to find him. He needs time and space far from all of... all of this..."

The other three men knew that Junsu had almost said far from all of us. As if they were the cause of Jaejoong's sorrow. And that made all of them bitter not to be able to help the man feel safe in their presences. As for one of them, he felt like the worse man in the world to be the one who caused the other man's pain.

Yunho sighed. He mustn't think about depressive thoughts. He needed to go on until his Jaejoong was back in his life. And for that he need to talk with the people who knew him better than anyone, even better than him, his family.

The young idol opened the door of the black Cadillac Escalade and slid out from the passenger seat. Yoochun followed him seconds after and walked to stand next to the older man. He patted the shoulder of his former leader for some comfort. Meanwhile, Changmin and Junsu looked at each other for a while and got out from the black SUV.

"Let's go." Yunho whispered, looking at those few reporters and fans who were excited to see them.

The three men nodded and followed the older man with determination toward the white house where their Jaejoong had grown up with a big family, a family who could do anything for him, even if he wasn't their real child and brother.

"Jung Yunho-ssi how will SM Entertainment react when Kim Jeajoong-ssi will return to the agency?" asked a woman reporter with her latest cell phone, recording what the four men could let her know about this drastic situation between them.

"And what is your opinion about his secret marriage?" Another reporter demanded, doing the same thing as the other woman.

"What is your opinion about him being your member again if SM Entertainment accepts him back?"

"Shim Changmin-ssi, how is your reaction about your former member being an artist of SM Entertainment again?"

"Park Yoochun-ssi do you feel angry towards Kim Jaejoong-ssi's decision to quit your unit?"

"Kim Junsu-ssi, will you withdraw your complaint too?"

"Yunho-ssi? Could you tell us what the meaning of all you four being together and here in Gongju, in front of Kim Jaejoong-ssi's parents house?"

"Is it true that you were hospitalized after the announcement of Kim Jaejoong-ssi's disappearance?"

"By the presence of you four, could it be that Dong Bang Shin Ki will be reunited again?"

"And who is Hana Duchauvel? What kind of woman is she?"

The four men passed through those reporters with difficulty and without answering any of their inquiries. They weren't there for answering some stupid questions. Even, they didn't thought so far. They only wanted to settle down this anxiety towards their friend, their brother and for one of them the love of his life, Kim Jaejoong.

The rumpus made by these reporters and curious fans had made the older owner of the house open the front door to see what was going on at his front gate. The older man just smiled at the view of the four men who were marching towards him. He let them entered his house and blocked the path of those damned reporters.

"Please! Go home." The older man said quietly.

"Mr. Kim could you tell us where are your son Kim Jaejoong and his wife?"

"Why the four of them are here?"

"Will your daughter-in-law die from her leukemia?"

"None of this is your problem." The old man added quietly. "Could you let us alone? My son has left South Korea for a better life, for a quiet life with his sick wife. So could you respect his decision? Please... Please..." Mr. Kim pleaded, kneeling in front of those curious people.

"Mr. Kim..." Yunho said slowly seeing the frail older man kneeling for their sake.

Changmin and Junsu bit their lower lip preventing themselves not to cry seeing their hyung's older father kneeling in front of those stupid people for their sake. Yoochun turned his back at this sad scene. While Mrs. Kim walked towards her husband and stood behind him, letting this old salt do whatever he thought being good for the all of them.

Stupid world!

Stupid reporters!

Stupid fans!

And stupid Kim Jaejoong for making them endure all of this.

"It's an old man who demands you this. Let my son alone. Let his wife alone. And let his four friends alone. They don't need your insistence. They suffered enough from what happened to them since their separation. Don't make things worse for them all. They didn't want all of this. They just wanted to make their dream come true. They achieved it... but at great cost... Please let them alone. Let them settle everything for awhile. They are too young to give accounts to whoever it is. Let them grow up and make things right for all of us, mostly for themselves and after that... if you aren't satisfied ask them all the questions you want. For now let them time to mature. They still are boys who need our guidance in this life. They still need us, their parents to make things right for them... So, please go home. Let everything stop there."

The older man bowed his head so low that his forehead was touching the ground of the foyer of his house. No one said anything. Reporters and curious fans who were sitting in front of the Kim family house could only back away seeing this old man bowing in front of them.

"Mr. Kim... enough... you don't have to kneel for us..." Yunho said and helped Jaejoong's father to stand up with the help of Junsu, while the man's wife closed the front door, preventing the curious stare from all of those people who were still there to see what will happen in her house between those four men and her husband.

"Are you okay?" Changmin asked in a low voice.

"I'm not young anymore to kneel down for anything." Mr. Kim said with a smile.

"We're sorry..." Yoochun muttered.

"Don't be."

"You don't have to kneel for us..." Yunho said slowly.

"It's nothing son." The older man smiled, looking at Yunho. "You're all worth my action, aren't you?" Mr. Kim rubbed the young man's shoulder tenderly making Yunho burst into tears. He didn't think that after what he did to Jaejoong, this wise old man would be so kind to him, to a bastard like him.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be."

The older man took the pale man in his arms and held him tight trying to make this young man feeling better. But, Yunho could only cry for the kindness of Mr. Kim, of his Jaejoong's father towards him.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... everything is my fault. I was stupid... If I didn't make that decision... Jaejoong would be there with you... with us... If I wasn't a coward..."

"Don't think like that." The older man said gently. "No one is at fault. Everything happens for a reason."

"But..."

"Stop thinking." Mr. Kim said quietly. "You're here for something right?" Yunho thinned his lips and nodded. "I think it's about time we have a man to man conversation."

Yunho followed Jaejoong's father into the living room. The older man sat on his favorite armchair. It was old, but the young man remembered what Jaejoong had said to him about that furniture. It was the first thing Mr. Kim had bought after his first salary. It represented the man's pride to be able to acquire something with his own labors. And mostly, it contained years of memories. Memories of him holding, soothing and chasing the sorrow, the pain and tears of all of his children, including the little Jaejoong when he entered the Kim family as their only son.

It would be good, if Yunho could grew old like this man and having his best memories with the one he loved the most in this world beside him at the end of his lifetime, holding his loved one's hand for the last time but keeping his warmth for eternity, knowing that their love wasn't vain but worth to exist in this world.

"Son? Are you alright?" Mr. Kim asked gently.

"I... I'm... I don't know..." Yunho answered slowly, taking place on the soft sofa. He glanced a bit at the living room. Nothing had changed since the last time he was there. Maybe more family photographs and that... that wedding photograph of his Jaejoong with his wife...

"It was a good day for a wedding ceremony." Mr. Kim said looking at the photo frame Yunho was looking for awhile before turning his eyes away from it. "But, it would be better if you all were there."

"I... don't know..." Yunho said in a low voice.

"You were his best friend. You remain his best friend. He would want you to be there, to congratulate him on his most important day."

Yunho bit his lower lip and was trying not to burst into anger or into tears at Mr. Kim's words. While the other three men were silent. They didn't have the right to talk back at their hyung's father. Those two men needed to talk about all of this for Yunho's sake. The latter needed closure. If not, he needed something to move on for a better life from now on.

"Son, I'm not an insensitive man. I know what you are feeling right now. Jaejoongie had felt it too. I watched him struggling with his pain and sorrow for a long time... until he started to smile again thanks to her... She was there for him. She was his confidante. She became his world when you let him go for your own reasons." The older man said slowly. "And I fear the time when he will lose everything. I fear to see the man he is going to become when he will come back to us... alone... without her at his side. I only hope when that time comes, our love for him will be enough to save him from drowning in his greatest sorrow."

"I'll be the one to blame..." Yunho said closing his eyes, letting his tears falling on his cheeks. He wasn't strong enough to hide his tears and his pain.

"No! Son... don't put all the blame on you. You weren't wrong to follow what you thought was right. You distanced yourself from him for his own good. You were trying to protect him from everyone who was aware of your relationship for him."

"But in the end, I didn't succeed to hide anything." He said, rubbing his left cheek nervously. "My father knows about us... He threatened to tell everything to SM Entertainment if I continued to see Jaejoongie... But SM Entertainment also knows about us. He didn't have to tell them anything. They knew about us since long time ago. They tolerated it... However... when they got wind of our plan to make a change of our contract for the better of us... "

"...they used your relationship with my son to part Dong Bang Shin Ki." Yunho nodded. "You didn't have a choice then."

"But... I... I deny Jaejoong... his feelings... I was selfish... I only thought of myself..." Yunho said slowly, running his trembling hand in his hair.

"You just did what a good son would do." Mr. Kim said slowly. "The love between you two was..." The older man stopped and corrected, "…the love between you is a sin for many people. I accepted it. But it didn't mean that I embraced your relationship without bad thoughts. Jaejoong... he isn't my real son and even if people call me as his father... I couldn't, I can't force him to be someone he wasn't meant to be... A man who will end up with a woman and give me grandchildren... he is only a gift that life gave me long ago to cherish not to force him to be what I want him to be..." The older man looked at the young idol for awhile and added, "..but your father can do it to you... You're his son. His blood. His legacy. His name." The older man breathed out. "I don't know if he is wrong or right... I don't know if I'm wrong or right to let Jaejoong do whatever he wants... But, at the end, he follows what a father wants for his son to be... a real man... marrying a woman and maybe... maybe become a father in turn."

Mr. Kim knew that what he was saying right now hurt this young man. But he must say it for his own good and happiness.

"Son, live your life. Make thing right for you. Make a path where no one will be able to stomp on your pride and denigrate who you are. Live the best of those years to come. And one day... if fate is lenient, you will see him."

"But I want him right now..." Yunho said between two sobs.

"Be patient son..."

"How can I be patient...? He isn't mine anymore... I screwed everything... I..."

"Don't be like that. Jaejoong would be sad to see you like this. You are important for him and you will always be even if he's a married man now." Mr. Kim added. "Son, what if it wasn't him who was married but you? What do you want for him if you were in his shoes?"

"I... I want him to be happy... even without me..."

"So be happy." Mr. Kim said. "Jaejoong is happy now. So, find someone who can make you the happiest man in this world as to be the man that everyone want you to be."

"It will be difficult..." Yunho breathed out painfully. He couldn't picture himself with someone else than Jaejoong.

"I will never demand you to forget him. You don't need to forget him. You can love him with all your heart."

"How will I live without him?"

"Yunho-yah..." Mrs. Kim called him out with a gentle tone and took place next to the crying young man. She squeezed his hand in hers. "You will find a way to live without him."

"I can't. I can't..." Yunho breathed forlornly. "It seems that all of you want me to forget him... to forget everything that happened between us..."

"Young man, living without him doesn't mean that you must forget your love for him, every moment you have spent with each other or all those kisses you had exchanged since the beginning of your relationship." Mrs. Kim said with a sad smile. "It only means that you must find the strength to go on with your life for the better of you two."

"But..."

"You're someone important for him. Don't forget that." The older woman added, caressing his cheek tenderly. "And he won't forget you either. But, life has decided to separate your path for awhile. Keep the faith in your relationship. Keep the faith my boy. In the near future you will be maybe only friends or maybe lovers again. But, for now, you have a lot of things to do... and to protect. So do it right. Not only for you but for all five of you."

Yunho closed his eyes for a moment. Then he looked at his three dongsaengs and turned his eyes to the wedding picture of Jaejoong. He took a deep breath and said, "..I will do my best."

"You will do it right."

"Son, don't forget. We will be there for you if you need anything."

"Thank you..." Yunho nodded.

"And for the three of you too." Mr. Kim turned his eyes to the other three men who nodded at the older man with a thankful smile.

~~~~~

Changmin was leaning against the kitchen countertop and was watching a disgusting scene he didn't want to witness in front of his eyes. One of the females artists from SM Entertainment was in their apartment, visiting the sick Jung Yunho, well a better Jung Yunho after his discussion with Jaejoong's parents. And now, his leader had his mind more clear and was ready to make the future of all of them better.

But at this instant, the young man felt nauseous to see the female idol trying to impersonate Kim Jaejoong in front of the great Jung Yunho, the golden boy of SM Entertainment and the good son every Korean father would want to have, in front of the man's mother who had decided to stay with them for awhile.

"Yunho-yah, eat some more." BoA put a piece of meat in his rice bowl, looking at Mrs. Jung who was only smiling pitifully at her. She attempted to feed the man like a good girlfriend would do to please her beloved boyfriend. "You still look pale."

"I'm better now." Yunho said while returning the piece of meat on the main plate dish.

"Sorry... Yunho-yah ate a bit already before your arrival." Mrs. Jung said to the female idol to excuse her son's behavior.

The young woman smiled at the man's mother. She turned to look at her colleague singer and didn't give up to make the man eat more meat. She put an