- Chapter Fifteen - "I was supposed to be all he had."

Yunho had to return to play the actor for SM Entertainment the coming day leaving Jaejoong and baby Cap alone at his penthouse. However the man had asked Junsu to accompany them. And the young dyed blue hair man had appeared in front of Jaejoong and his daughter with a Christmas tree as tall as his own height.

After a long morning trying to find a way to decorate the Christmas tree, humming a Christmas carol, Junsu was lying now on the soft couch in the living room trying to do a list of Christmas presents for his adorable niece who was sleeping peacefully on a soft baby mattress next to him, while Jaejoong was in the open-plan kitchen cooking an applesauce for the apple turnovers he promised to Changmin.

The young cook had peeled the 10 apples he had bought yesterday during his escapade with Yunho, Junsu and Yoochun in the COEX mall. He had cut them into small pieces and put all the fruit in a pot mixing with sugar and some water. Now he added a bit of cinnamon, lemon zest and a vanilla pod in the content, while the batter of the puff pastry was resting in the fridge for 20 minutes. But soon, he was going to work on it again. The puff pastry needed a lot of work and time to be really soft.

He turned off the stove when the applesauce was ready. Not too sour and not too sweet. He just hope that Changmin will find it at his taste. Now he had to let it cool down. He took the pot away from the burner and set it aside on a trivet. And then, he turned to the fridge and took out the batter in its platter.

Jaejoong began to work on the batter with the rolling pin on the granite island. It was the fifth time he did it. Rolling the pin on the batter up and down making sure that he respected the same thickness until he obtained a long and rectangular form with the batter. He folded the batter from left and right to have a square. He sprinkled some floor on the batter and put it in its container. He covered it with the plastic film and replaced the platter in the fridge for another 20 minutes.

"How can you be so patient?" Junsu asked while he entered the opened kitchen in search for something to drink. "Mostly for that maknae of us?" He added opening the glass door and took a can of soda.

"A puff pastry isn't easy to make. That's why a baker has to work since 3 in the morning to have croissants, chaussons aux pommes and pains aux chocolat ready when they open their shops."

Junsu narrowed his eyes for a while and took place on the stool next to the granite island table. He glanced at his hyung and noticed something.

The Kim Jaejoong he knew was a fashionable man who never went out without a set of trendy clothes and his hair was done once a week to make it look soft and shiny. He even loved to change color every time he felt like it. He was the epitome of what an idol could be. Not that his hyung was the pretentious and diva one. He was just him. Kim Jaejoong, Youngwoong Jaejoong and Hero Jaejoong, the lead vocal of Dong Bang Shin Ki.

But the man in front of him...

The man before his eyes wore only a pair of skinny jeans which wasn't fashionable anymore with a plain t-shirt. Even the apron he wore was more fashionable than his humble clothes. And his hair... it was as if the man hadn't stepped a foot in a hairdressing salon for a long time. His black hair was down to his nape messily and his bang was held by a pin while he was cooking.

This Kim Jaejoong was so humble. No extravagance. No flashy jewelry. No gaudy clothes. No stylish haircut.

Thinking of their shopping yesterday, Jaejoong did not want to buy anything. Yoochun and him had to talk their hyung around for almost a quarter of an hour to get him in the changing room to try some clothes. And fortunately for them, Yunho did not listen to the man's objection when they walked to the cashier or else they could get home with nothing in hands.

Junsu did not know how he could define the Kim Jaejoong who was standing next to him at this moment. It was like the man before him was the man his hyung could have been if he had not had his dream of becoming a singer. And something made Junsu feel unsteady at the sight of his hyung in his daily routine as a normal man.

"Hyung?" The young man called out the other man who turned to look at him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Will you sing again?"

"I think so..." Jaejoong answered in a low voice.

"But you aren't so sure." Junsu said with a grimace.

"For now, my daughter needs me the most. I know that people are waiting to see me pulling the idol Kim Jaejoong's mask and run on stage while singing and dancing next to Yunho and Changmin. Because I'm still a part of them... I'm still SM's artist." Jaejoong said quietly, walking to the fridge and took the puffy pastry away from the rack of the fridge. "However, I don't know what could be my place among Yunho and Changmin... among all SM's artists. For now, Yunho said that SM will have to schedule a press conference... for me..." He said quietly, putting the platter on the island table and began to work on the batter again. "I'm not thrill to have a press conference. I'm not ready to display my life with Ha-chan to everyone... I... I want it to be my memory of her..."

"Then don't tell them." Junsu added looking at his hyung with a sad smile. "They won't blame you. You're like a hero coming back from the greatest war world could have. You don't have to tell us everything... but you were really happy with her..."

Jaejoong nodded, finishing to spread the batter still respecting the thickness. He didn't have a turnover shape so he got a bowl and drew a few rounds with the rim of the bowl on the batter. Then he filled the half side of every round shaped batter with applesauce.

"You're good." Junsu stated suddenly, looking at his hyung who was folding the other half of every round shaped batter to form the apple turnovers. "You know... seeing you like this..." The young man added, "...I'm scared that you would never want to be an idol anymore. And then... our dream to be five again... will never come true one day..." He said in a sad voice, staring at the apple turnovers on the granite island.

"Junsu... not wanting being an idol isn't the same as not wanting to sing again." Jaejoong said quietly with a smile plastered on his face.

"Hyung..."

"It's right... I don't have this wish to be an idol... I like my life as it is now with baby Cap and of course you all... Can you crack an egg for me and beat it with a spoon of water?" The young father asked suddenly.

And Junsu nodded then stood up from the stool. He got an egg from the fridge and cracked it into a bowl. The young idol did what his hyung had asked him to do.

"Here."

"Thank you." Jaejoong took the bowl from Junsu after preheating the oven. "You know... Ha-chan, she's our biggest fan. Heck, she's even the biggest Yunjae shipper in this world." He added with a grunt which made Junsu laugh with his special laughter. "Don't laugh." Jaejoong sighed and returned to his occupation.

He brushed the beaten egg on each apple turnovers and scratched all of them with the tip of a knife to have a few stripes on their surface. Then, he put the apple turnovers on a baking tray and shoved them in the hot oven for 30 minutes.

"She always said that the five of us will remain friends. And she wasn't wrong. You're still my friend as Changmin, Yoochun and Yunho are." He turned to look at Junsu. "She dreamed of seeing us on stage again. So, tell me Junsu... what kind of husband I would be if I can't fulfill her dream?" Jaejoong added with a smile.

"Sure! What kind of husband you're going to be if you don't fulfill your wife's dream." Junsu said with a smile, feeling relieved that the five of them will be on stage as Dong Bank Shin Ki once again. One day in the near future.

"Okay!" Jaejoong clapped his hands together. "Now, I must prepare the dinner."

"Hyung! You should stop for a while. Let order something for tonight. You did enough for today."

"Are you sure? Do you not want me to cook something?"

"You're a great cook. I won't deny it. But Yunho hyung asked me to look after you. He even asked me not to let you wear yourself off. I saw you working on those apple turnovers since my arrival this morning and it's 4 in the afternoon. So, get your on the couch. And Changmin will be here sooner more than later."

And at his words, the front door opened at the sight of a large cardboard entering the house with a grinning Changmin pushing it behind. The tall young man gave them a V sign and closed the door before stretching his arms toward his purchase and said, "Tada! My gift for baby Cap."

Walking towards his friend, Junsu narrowed his eyes at the sight of an image of a stroller on one of the side of the cardboard. "No! Don't tell me..." He muttered almost choking in his breath.

"Oh! You get that all terrain sport stroller." Jaejoong said walking to the living room with his forefinger pressed on his lips.

"Yeah!" Changmin nodded, knowing that Jaejoong was informing him that baby Cap was still sleeping. "It wasn't easy to stroll on a mall with all those fans running behind me and mostly with all those people doing shopping for Christmas. I was lucky enough to get the last pink." He had in a whispering tone.

"Argh..." Junsu grunted.

"What your problem?" Changmin asked the man standing next to him.

"He has to wait to buy the one he wants for Capucine." Jaejoong added with an amused smile on his face. "Let me see." The young father unpacked the stroller with Changmin help and built the baby's vehicle in front of a sulking Junsu. "Good. I can use it tomorrow. The one Yoochun had bought is a bit... well Capucine is a bit too small for that stroller. And Do you see me as an athletic father?" Jaejoong asked turning to look at Changmin. The latter took a good look at his hyung and shook his head. "I thought so. Yunho is the athletic father. Not me. He could have a better judgment, no? He was supposed to be my soul mate thing. But he can't even guess that I'm more... aish... I won't say it."

"Pretty and beautiful?" Changmin asked, cocking a brow amusedly.

"You!" Jaejoong tried to kick his dongsaeng but the latter ran away with a soft chuckle.

"Humm. I smell something good." Changmin sniffed.

"I won't give you any."

"You promised." Changmin whined.

"I changed my mind."

"No fair." The maknae said a bit loud.

"Don't shout! My baby girl is having her afternoon nap." Jaejoong pointed out his finger to Changmin.

"Sorry..."

Too late. Baby Cap was wailing. And her cries made Junsu and Changmin run to her with the oldest of them chiding the youngest for being insensitive, while Jaejoong was shaking his head slightly. He sighed when he saw his two stupid dongsaengs arguing to be the one to hold his baby girl in their arms which made his daughter cry more.

"Can you stay still and let me enjoy her for awhile?" Changmin said sternly, rocking baby Cap in his arms. "Shh.. baby girl samchon Min-min will get you everything. Name it and he will buy it for you. Okay? Don't cry. You shall only laugh when you're happy and sulk when you're not happy."

"Baby-ah! Don't cry..." Junsu added, trying to calm baby Cap by taking her small hand in his. "Are you hungry? Samchon Suie is going to make you a bottle of milk. Hyung?" The young man turned to look at Jaejoong for permission.

The young father nodded. Junsu had learned to do it like Yunho today. And knowing his dongsaeng, Junsu would be thrilled to make her a bottle of milk by himself. Jaejoong shook his head slightly while looking at these two big boys. His baby girl will be so spoiled by them that he will have to wear the bad role to keep her in track.

"Can I feed her?" Changmin asked when Junsu had run to the open-plan kitchen.

"You can." Jaejoong walked towards his maknae with a smile. " her softly on her back. Don't rock too much. She doesn't like that. Good." He added when Changmin followed his advice.

"I do it right?" Changmin asked a bit worried not to do the right gesture.

"Yeah." Jaejoong wiped the tears away from his daughter's chubby cheeks. She had subdued a bit but they could still hear her heartbreaking sob.

"Her heart... it-it's beating too fast..." The young idol said in panic.

"Because you woke her up abruptly. She was surprised by your loud voice. It's okay. Changmin-ah! Don't freak out. Calm yourself and everything will be alright."

"But-"

"Shh... Hold her tight in your arms. Let her feel your warmth. Make her hear your heart."

"Like that?" The young man asked, pressing baby Cap carefully against him, letting her have her head resting against his chest.

"See! She stopped crying."

Changmin nodded and heaved a relief sigh when he saw baby Cap being quiet and peered up at him. Jaejoong laughed softly at his dongsaeng while Junsu walked to them with a bottle of milk in his hands. The latter gave it to Jaejoong to check the temperature of the baby's drink. The young father nodded after putting a few milk drops on his wrist. His confirmation made Junsu smile at being good for the task.

"Your turn." Jaejoong said to his maknae.

Soon Changmin went to sit on the couch. He settled baby Cap in his arms in a way that he could feed her like Jaejoong did. Then he took the bottle of milk from the hands of his hyung and slid carefully the teat of the bottle in Capucine's mouth who accepted it eagerly.

"I did it..." He breathed with relief when the baby girl began to le on the teat.

"Good job. You're grading from baby Min to big brother Min." Jaejoong ruffled Changmin's hair, earning a soft laugh from his two dongsaengs.

While those two young men looked after his daughter, Jaejoong went to the kitchen and took out the apple turnovers from the oven. He put all the apple turnovers on a rack letting them cool down a bit. Then, he poured some juice for everyone and returned into the living room quietly with a tray filled with 3 glasses of orange juice in his hands.

"You have to make her burp." Jaejoong said when his daughter had finished her milk.

"How?"

"Make her sit on your laps and her back softly."

"Like this?" Changmin began to her back carefully as if she was made of glasses.

"You don't have to ask every time. Just feel it."

Changmin rubbed small circles on her back softly and carefully while baby Cap looked at him with a frown on her baby face, as if she was trying to recall where and when she had seen the man who was smiling at her. Suddenly she burped and turned to look at the three adults before smiling at the sound she just made. While all the three men laughed softly at her adorable sight.

"Oh! Yes! You're happy now that you're full." Jaejoong tickled her under her chin. Baby Cap opened with glittering eyes and let out a laughter as she was looking at her father. She felt happy. "That's my baby." He added taking her in his arms.

"Baapa... Ooh waaa." She shrieked in her baby talk making Junsu and Changmin laugh at her adorable sight.

"Oh! Mais oui! Tu es le bébé à son papa. (Oh! Yeah! You're daddy's baby.) My little girl." The man said rocking her softly in his arms while kissing all over her face making her giggle at his frantic behavior.

"Aah... huumm..." She growled in her baby-talk, meaning that her father was b