- Chapter Twenty - "Would things get better one day?"

Muffled and heavy steps could be heard in the stairs of SM Entertainment building as the owner of those steps jumped two steps at the time in his hurry. Changmin was desperate to find Kim Jaejoong. He had just left the man and his baby girl in the recording studio to get something to eat as he was hoping at the same time that the cafeteria's employees would heat baby Cap's milk bottle kindly. But at his return, the father and daughter weren't there anymore. And those ing people didn't know either where the father and daughter could be as they never had the intention of tracking them once they stepped out of the studio.

Why should he count on them to look after Kim Jaejoong?

Changmin should have known better that those stupid people had no intention of caring for the man as he was once someone who had made a fool of their employer, in addition them too.

People could really hold a grudge for so long.

- Flashback -

"Where is he?" Changmin howled to all the people in the recording studio. The young man was only away for a bit. And now, those stupid people were saying that his hyung had run away from his tasks, making the man a coward.

ing bastards!

Kim Jaejoong wasn't that kind of person. His hyung wasn't a coward. He would never give up facing a hard work. Not after all he had done to stand on his two feet after his wife's death for his daughter. The man was better than all of them including him too.

"What did you say to him?" Changmin accused.

"Nothing!" One of them said nonchalantly.

"Talk to my . Maybe I will finally understand the kind of you." The young idol had the nerve to joke looking fiercely. "I'm not stupid. I know you are saying trashes about his return since he started to record his voice with us. And you're lucky to face me not Jung Yunho. That man is able to get all of you fire." Changmin burst out. "Don't forget! He is the golden boy of SM Entertainment since he entered the label."

"Changmin-ah!" The producer called out the singer with a paternal voice. The man had worked with the young man for years and he could understand how the latter felt at this moment.

"Don't ah-me as if I'm your long time buddy!" He scolded.

"We could talk quietly."

"Not when I don't know where is my hyung!" Changmin grunted.

"Look! Kim Jaejoong is a good man." The man in charge of the logistic said. "We won't deny what he did for his late wife. But, as we all know and see, Yunho and you are doing great without him. And-"

"Doing great?" The young man scoffed. "You aren't us. I feel empty without them like something is amiss in me. I sing. I dance. I've done all of this with no pleasure like a puppet. People ask me to smile, I smile. They ask me to talk, I talk. But, it wasn't me. I've done everything to satisfy everyone for one purpose. That one day all five of us would stand together again on the same stage. So mind your own business. And tell me what you, stupid people had said to him for Jaejoong to wander in the nature without telling me where he went!" Changmin howled.

"We did nothing."

"Nothing?" He snorted. "I'm not in the mood-"

Suddenly Changmin was interrupting by the sound of his cell phone ringing in the back pocket of his jeans. The young man grunted as he took the device in his hand. Narrowing his eyes at the ID on the screen of his phone, he heaved a sigh.

"Here! Come the messiah!" He said as he took the call. "Get ready to have a good explanation for Yunho! Hyung? Yeah..." Changmin winced at the other man wanting to talk with Kim Jaejoong, because Yunho couldn't reach him. "Hyung... well... He isn't with me." He added and took a deep breath. "I don't know where he is. He asked me to go to the cafeteria to get something to eat and heat a milk bottle for baby Cap..." The tall young man took his phone away from his ear when Yunho called his name in a way that showed him the man wasn't happy with him. "Hyung sorry. Yeah... He was okay when I let him. Oh! Hyung! You should talk with the people who dragged him away." Then, Changmin shoved his cell phone to the bulky producer as he said, "...get an earful of this man and explain what you did to Kim Jaejoong. Hope that you will keep your job!" He added sternly.

The older man took the idol's phone and pressed the device near his ear. It shouldn't be so dramatic, right?

However, he was greeted by a fierce and dark voice, as if the man on the other line was ready to cut him into pieces if he did a wrong move.

- End of Flashback -

And after that, Changmin didn't stay still and now he was running floor after floor with the hope to get a hold of Jaejoong and his baby girl.

"! ! !" He profaned as he jumped down the last two steps of the stairs and went out of it.

Changmin ran his trembling fingers through his hair, then whirled on his feet trying to decide in what direction he was going to start. On his left or on his right. And he could not asked Yoochun and Junsu for help. Those two men weren't allowed to be in this building.

"Changmin hyung? What are you doing here?" Minho from the group SHInee asked as the young idol walked towards him with a smile when he left his dancing room. The maknae of Dong Bang Shin Ki was in the floor where the SHInee group had settled their quarter.

"Did you see Jaejoong?" He asked once the other artist stepped into his personal space.

"Jaejoong hyung?" Minho frowned, then soon the youngest of them two shook his head lightly.

"Great!" The tall young man grunted as he kicked the wall behind him.

"What's going on?" The other demanded, startled a bit at the outburst of his fellow colleague.

"I lost him! I lost them!" He shouted, gaining the attention of the other members of SHinee as they took a look at them from the door of their dancing studio.

"What?"

"Hyung? What did you say?" Taemin asked once he was near them. However, no one could miss Shim Changmin's outburst. And all the SHInee group were now standing next to the poor distraught idol.

"And I can still hear Yunho's scolding from his shooting set." Changmin let himself collapse, crouching down on the tilted floor as he was cussing under his breath. "It was only for what... a few ten minutes max! And they are nowhere to be found. God! How can people lose their track in this ing building? Okay! Kim Jaejoong is a clumsy man. But, he can't be so lost to never know his way to the recording studio. Right? People call him four-D but he knows how to be a human being, right? He... he won't be so lost that he wanders around until he would be in Timbuktu?"

"Hyung! Calm down." Jonghyun said quietly.

"God! I was right! Those people in this ing label don't love the fact he's back. I should kick some asses!"

"Did they do something to Jaejoong hyung?" Key exclaimed with a horrendous face. The last time the young idol had crossed the path of a few employees in this building, they weren't so kind when talking about Kim Jaejoong. As the diva he was, the young man was going to get back to them but Onew, his leader had prevented him to make things worse for the other man.

"I don't know what they did. But what I know is that Yunho wasn't happy with them."

"Did you call him?" Minho asked.

"I did. And If I could join him by phone, knowing where he is, I wouldn't be in this state." He said angrily while looking at Choi Minho as if the other was a tad bit stupid.

"Okay... You did call him." Minho nodded, knowing not to argue with Shim Changmin. "I will help you to find him."

"We're going to find him and his baby." Onew replied.

"Everything will be okay." The others added as they nodded, hoping that nothing was going to happen to the father and daughter for the time being.

"Thank you." Changmin heaved a sigh as his phone rang again. He looked down at his cell phone in his hand. "Yunho hyung..." He took the call with a grimaced. "Hyung... No! I'm still searching... I know... The SHInee boys are going to help me. Yeah! More we are and more luck we get. Hyung! I call you once I have a hold on them. You stop worrying and please do your job... I know..." He ended the call with a forlorn sigh. "We must find him before Yunho hyung get his in this building."

And not long after, all the members of SHInee were running all around SM building at the search of Kim Jaejoong and his baby girl as they were trying to call the other man, hoping to have him on the other line.

As for Changmin, the young man was still running and after a few encounters, a few members of the Super Junior group were running in turn in SM building in search for the little Kim family.

~~~~~

Walking back and forth of the first dance room he had found, Jaejoong was humming a song as he lulled his upsetting baby daughter in his arms, with her favorite baby blanket wrapping around her small figure, his right palm on her stomach hoping that the warm of his palm would soothe her pain away. Baby Cap was suffering from colic since yesterday. It wasn't serious. And Jaejoong was used to her tears. But he could understand the annoying stares those people threw at him when they heard a baby screaming for hours.

Even with Changmin's help, the baby girl didn't want to be separated from her father. And he ended taking care of her more than doing his job, recording his voice with the voices of the two other members of Dong Bang Shin Ki. His action had made the staff not so pleased with him as he was delaying the recording and wasting their time.

That's why the young father had taken shelter in this room in his way to escape all those inquisitive stares set on them when he had sent Changmin to get them something to eat as well as heatting a bottle of milk for baby Cap. He felt sorry for not saying anything to the latter, but Jaejoong couldn't bear those rebuke stares on her. Maybe if she wasn't his daughter, those people would never look at her as if she was the greatest burden in this world, in their world.

"Tu te sens mieux? (Are you okay?)" He asked softly, rocking her in his arms as he pressed her tiny body against his front.

His baby girl whined as she munched onto her small fingers. Then she hummed in turn making noise by herself with a bit of saliva flowing down her chin. It was her way to complain about her little tummy.

"Je sais... (I know) You don't like it a bit. Your tummy is upsetting you. Ah! Le vilain! (That nasty tummy!)" Jaejoong chuckled softly and he pressed soft kisses on his baby's temple. Then baby Cap slapped his nose with her small palm.

"...baba... hmmm... nen-nen... tfffrr..." She said with a frown.

"What kind of sound is it?" He laughed softly.

"...mmm..." Baby Cap rubbed her left eye with her small fist and whined again.

"I know." Jaejoong smiled sadly at his baby girl and reached out his hand to the baby bag on one of those chairs in the studio. He took her pacifier from the side pocket. "This is better?" He asked as he showed her the object.

Baby Cap opened as she leaned toward the pacifier. Then she led onto it for a while and leaned her head on her father's chest.

"I know. I'm a bad father." He kissed the top of her head. She was tired and needed her afternoon nap. "Want me to sing a song? A lullaby?" The young father asked in a low voice as he pressed her against his front and rubbed smooth circles on her back. He always did this every time her tummy hurt her, knowing that his warmth will always sooth her.

Jaejoong looked down at his baby girl as he smiled lovingly. With his thumb, he caressed softly her chubby cheek but soon, baby Cap rose her small hand and held onto his fingers tightly as she hummed, wanting a lullaby from her favorite papa.

"Tu te souviens de la berceuse Grandma Isa chantait avant de dormir? (Do you remember about the lullaby Grandma Isa always sang before sleeping?)" He asked softly with a sad smile painting on his lips.

The older woman was a precious reassurance in his life after Hana's death. Grandma Isa was always helping him even with her poor health. She was always there for him until she died in turn.

"Let me sing that song for you." He rocked his daughter in his arms slowly and began to sing. "Brille, brille petite étoile, dans la nuit qui se dévoile. (Twinkle, twinkle little star, in the night unfolds or I wonder what you are.) Tout là-haut au firmament, Tu scintilles comme un diamant. (Up there in the sky, you shine like a diamond or Like a diamond in the sky.) Brille, brille petite étoile, veille sur ceux qui dorment en bas. (Twinkle, twinkle little star, watch over those sleeping below.)

The young father smiled as he watched his baby girl stabling her breath as she was closing her little eyes slowly. He continued to rock her in his arms softly and carefully, not wanting to jolt her from her nap as he could feel her tight hold onto his fingers.

"Brille brille petite étoile, dans la nuit qui se dévoile. (Twinkle, twinkle little star, in the night unfolds or I wonder what you are.) Tout là-haut au firmament, tu scintilles comme un diamant. (Up there in the sky, you shine like a diamond or Like a diamond in the sky.) Brille, brille petite étoile, veille sur ma petite Capucine qui dort en bas. (Twinkle, twinkle little star, watch over my little Capucine who's sleeping below.)"

He watched his daughter sleeping peacefully in his arms with a small smile ghosting in his lips as he continued to sing the French lullaby, walking around in this room. Jaejoong could not help but lift his daughter a bit as he leaned towards her hoping to hear her breathing. His fear never left him even if she was better now. Hearing her breath was what make things easy for him, even if this day wasn't so good for the father and daughter.

Jaejoong stopped as he stepped next to the window. He could see the busy streets of Seoul with its people running or walking into their own fate. He pressed his forehead against the cold glass hoping that the cold would help him have a better view of his life.

What was he doing here? Should it be better if he did stay in France?

Suddenly, the young father turned in the direction of the door when he heard voices coming from behind the wooden panel. He held his breath hoping that the people behind that door would never step in the room. However, the door opened at the sight of the one he didn't want to see today.

BoA.

And the female singer stopped on her track as she had Jaejoong in her line of sight. Her good mood disappeared as she scoffed and shook her head lightly, while her dancers remained silent as they were watching carefully those two ex-friends.

"What are you doing in my studio?" She demanded sternly.

"It's yours?!" Jaejoong asked with a frown. In his haste, the man didn't pay attention to where he was going. The only thing that was in his mind was to find a quiet place for his daughter and him far away from those inquisitive and angry stares.

"Did you forget how to read hangul now? A real foreigner!" She snorted as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Get out! I need to practice."

"I understand." The man didn't want to waste his time arguing with her. Her acts showed so much better than words. She wasn't going to befriend with him again.

Jaejoong took the baby bag in his right hand and put the strap on his shoulder, hanging at his side carefully not wanting to wake his little baby girl. Then, without ado, he walked toward the doorframe.

"Can I ask you something?" She said suddenly when he passed by her, making Jaejoong stop in his track.

"What do you want to know?" He inquired, turning to face the female idol.

BoA waved her hand, dismissing her dancers. And those people nodded as they left the dancing room quickly, closing the door behind them.

"How can you be so sure that he will always stand by your side?" The female singer asked once they were alone, walking to seat on one of the numerous chairs in front of one of the walls in the room.

"I don't know either." He answered quietly.

"You don't know?!"

"When I was with him... I never thought he would break up with me and..."

"...you marrying a woman and becoming a father." She continued instead of him. And the young father could only nod at her words. "You know, after your departure, I watched him... I spent all my time watching him." BoA added with a small smile painting on her lips. She patted the seat next to her. And Jaejoong was grateful to take the seat, even next to her. "He wasn't smiling. The smiles people saw on his lips were not naïve and bright like before. They were forced in order to continue the masquerade he was playing in front of us." She laughed sarcastically. "Did you know that SM has forced them playing this couple thing with each other. Throwing any kind of ambiguous words and gestures to make those sick girls squealing like chicks. Did you see those pictures? Standing next to each other like they were a couple. Sick, right?" The female singer snickered. "Even if it's just for entertaining and keep people's interest on Dong Bang Shin Ki only with them two, I feel sick to an extent." She shook her head.

Jaejoong didn't say anything. He just stayed still, rocking his baby girl as he was listening to BoA rumbling about how Yunho and Changmin behaved to each other for the interest of Dong Bang Shin Ki. As if she was trying to make him jealous about those two being so close.

"I just recalled a few interviews they did when they came back into the music industry. Yunho had said Changmin nagged a lot at him and it was like the maknae was his wife. He even said that Changmin was... is his home. The person he will always come back." The singer paused and watched the other man carefully. But, Jaejoong never showed any kind of expressions. "What do you think about his words? Is he really who he claims to be?"

Jaejoong heaved a sigh and nodded, understanding what she was trying to say. Ha-chan had tried to keep him away from news about Yunho and Changmin. But, he had seen that interview, where Yunho had declared that Changmin was like his wife, nagging after him nonstop. It was a blow in his already bruised heart. The man he loved so much was able to think of another person than him as someone he could never be apart. It was so easy for him to move on while he was struggling with his pain of losing the latter.

And to save him from hurting more, he had decided to be a man. He began to date his wife and finally to be committed with her for eternity, showing to the people surrounding him that he was a real man.

A real man... It was what those people defined a man. A man should always be committed with a woman, being a husband and a father. And loving another man was a sin. So it made you a sinner if your heart had the nerve to beat for the same gender as you.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked quietly. "He did say back then when we were still five that I was his wife in front of cameras."

"Aren't you jealous?" She asked, biting on her cookies.

"Over Changmin?"

"You should. Some fans of Dong Bang Shin Ki start to pair them. And they are trying to figure out what will be your role in this all drama in front of them."

"It's something I have to see from my own eyes." He said in a low voice with a small smile painting on his lips.

"You make me puke!" BoA shook her head. "It seems that nothing will make you falter. Not even Yunho letting you go for another man. Now! Get out! I need to practice." She replied with displeasure.

Jaejoong didn't argue and would never do so. He took his belongings as he stood from the seat. Tightening his hold onto his daughter, the man tilted his head a bit to his ex-friend and walked toward the door.

"Please, don't ever show yourself in front of me ag