I brushed my cold arms. I was covered with a thick layer of wool, but the cold chills still made it through my skin, making me shiver. My lips pursed together as I tried to hide the strong emotions that was bursting inside me. But my cheeks already felt tight and my eyes were nearly tearing out by the expressions I'm holding back---hey, I need to look calm or else I'll look weird, freaking out alone.

I strolled my luggage smoothly on the porcelain floor of the famous Incheon Airport as my eyes wandered through the widely built buildings, to the unfamiliar faces of mostly korean people all with their huge bags, fully stuffed.

I met my own reflection on a big mirror-like glass that was set in between each sharp-edged walls. I began to notice my beautiful features---I'm not that ugly!

My dark brown upturned eyes with double eyelids and fresh bulges of 'aegyo-sal' matched my oval-shaped face. It was framed with my long, long dark brown hair with sections of bouncy curls at the end.

My straight eyebrows were slightly curving at one end, giving me an innocent look, and complementing the pair of gradient lips I have. A nose that stood out from the rest would point out between my cheekbones that would lift high when I flash that sweet, wide smile.

All of this, marking on my tall, slender built body, covered with a loose gray sweatshirt, together with skin-tight dark jeans and a pair of dark blue sneakers. Underneath this is a smooth lather of white skin.

'Too bad it's not pale white'

I thought as I neared the meeting point. I scanned the crowd of people, most of them are holding placards with different printed names---I suppose.

'MS. HANNAH LI' I noticed a white card on the air that read my name

I walked my way to a middle-aged korean man, thinking that he could be grandpa's private driver. He was wearing a nicely ironed light poloshirt which was tucked in his long pitch-black slacks, pairing it with dark, shiny leather shoes. He then turned at me, as he noticed my approach.

"Uhm, annyeong! I'm Hannah Li, mister---" I greeted him, then pulled my ID revealing my name on it.

"Oh, hello ms. Hannah! I'm Mr. Goon, your grandfather's private driver here in Korea." He smiled warmly as we exchanged bows and shook hands.

He motioned to hand him my baggages, leaving only the bagpack that hung loosely on my back. Mr. Goon led the way through a long, wide hallway with huge tinted glass walls covering the path with perfection.

I felt the temperature arise as we neared the exit, revealing the nicely balanced weather in the open. I remember it was October, the start of autumn in Korea.

Mr. Goon then left to get the car and my eyes went through the wide and clean streets that paved on the ground like a smooth riverflow. The 'korean' sunlight on my almost wrapped up skin still feels refreshing.

Soon, my head tilted up to witness the great skycrapers nearby. Then I began to inhale the fresh air deep into my lungs. It somehow gave me the essence of freedom--yeah I'm free, finally.

It didn't took long when a black and sparkling XUV rolled down and stopped across the street, giving me enough time to jump in the middle-row seats. I immediately took off my bagpack and made it rest on the smooth empty seat beside me.

I glanced at Mr. Goon. His hands curling on the steering wheel and his calm tiny eyes was fixed forward. Oh, how I wish I could drive myself here---I'll be for sure ending up lost.
 

"So, you're up for a long vacation in Seoul?" He asked as we drove off.

"Ah, neh, a whole school break is not actually long enough for me mr. Goon. I would like to stay here for as long as I want--- and I definitely love to stay forever." I giggled at the lame idea my tongue failed to hold. Mr. Goon smiled and nearly laughed, showing small lines on the corner of his eye.

"Ah, chincha? You must really have great reasons why you love it here so much ms. Li."

I smiled widely as Taemin oppa crossed my mind. We're finally in the same country, breathing same air, experiencing same weather, seeing same people, and speaking the same language which I would always find cute and awesome.

It's a relief I studied enough korean language back home. I had really prepared myself for this possible yet misty dream of mine to come. And now it was right in front of my eyes.

"This trip would take quite long ms. Li. Incheon to Seoul is more than 27km apart." Mr. Goon said, breaking through my thoughts.

"It's okay mr. Goon, Although I really hate long trips, I'll never be able to hate this one!"

We both laughed to my probably joking self---but no, I'm sure I'm not kidding.

The car returned to silence which made me pull my mp3 and put on my earphones. I pushed at the play button and shinee's 'Dream Girl' went flooding through my ears.

'Grandpa really rocks in choosing the best presents for me' I thought as I remember placing a pink-colored disc earlier. The upbeat song, paired with shinee's harmonious voice totally relaxed me, making me close my eyes, and my head making involuntary little bangs. And then again, I flew to my never-ending thoughts once more.

 

<<>>

I jumped up and nearly slipped on the floor as I hurriedly grabbed the doorknob, leaving it moist with the tears my hands had collected. I opened it and found mom in front of my door, her eyes looking unsure but comforting. I hugged her tightly and we went downstairs, joining grandpa on the soft cushioned couch.

I could feel my eyes sore from the tears which already decided to stop rolling down my damp cheeks. My nose, making loud sniffing sound, but my lips were back on their wide curving path.

"Your Angkong told me of a close friend in business from Seoul. Yes, I could still remember her--- Lee Kwang Soon. She's a close family friend of us."

Mom then turned to grandpa who was also nodding while smiling warmly at me.

"Lao peh, how is she now? I guess she already have kids. Ah, it's been a long time since I last saw her." Mom pointed out and began shaking her head, making her wavy strands sway.

"Yes, yes, she have two kids---daughters actually, not a huge difference from Hannah's age."

"Oh, okay. That sounds better though. At least you'd be watched over." Mom said as she turned at me with a tight took on her face. "Just promise me that you'd take care of yourself Hannah. This would be your first time to leave this country without us."

My eyes didn't stopped lighting up as I jumped with joy. I thanked them over and over and over again. Their faces were brightening as well, watching me almost crying of happiness.
 

***

 

I wonder how beautiful a Lee Kwang Soon is---and her daughters. I imagine them with black straight hair which perfectly shape their small faces having those little set of chinky eyes that I've been endlessly adoring since I entered the 'kpop world'.

I wish her daughters were also shawols or atleast kpop fans as well. Like, they could tour me around seoul and go to shinee's concerts. Omo, yeah, concerts---I'm not leaving Korea if I'll fail to see my bias in person---or should I say, my future husband?

Yah, I should stop. But...I can't stop--really. If I could, I probably have done it long time ago, before I turned into this obsessive fangirl. Cause it'll just make me feel depressed in the end---right?

I sighed in dismay. The depressing truth had made me feel down lately. And those river of tears are yet to come---again. Yeah, that's how I love him, but he'll never know.
 

***

 

"Ms. Hannah...excuse me...Ms.Hannah?"

I felt my eyebrows nearly met as I squint my eyes and saw mr. Goon, from the driver's seat, facing me. I realized I had took a nap. I glanced at my wrist watch---almost an hour had passed.

"Uhm, are we here?" I struggled to ask as my eyes were still adjusting to the bright afternoon sunset.

"Ne, ms. Li. I've already set your things out." He pointed outside the car window and my eyes turned to its direction.

My things were there, all piled up after a 3-step marble stairs, but what greatly catched my attention was the big, fully-furnished, wooden door next to it. It was half-covered with shades of gray that the tiled roof had shadowed.

Supported with stiff four-sided walls, the 2-door entrance gives a 'traditional korean house' look, with a couple of big, dark rings--door knockers--that hung steadily on each side.

Mr. Goon handed me his business card "Just contact me if you need a drive."

"Kamsahamnida!"

I got out of the car. I watched it make it's way farther, as I waved goodbye before it disappeared from the long, narrow and steep street. Turning to back to the gates, I made a huge gulp as I took the steps to reach for a knocker.

Now I'm nervous. I'm be living with people I don't even know---and I'm staying for weeks. But, I'm taking all the risks. There's no turning back now. In the first place, I'm having this strong determination because of Taemin oppa.

'Ne, I can't turn back now' I thought as my right hand pulled the knocker and began banging it to the door.

*tok tok tok*

The knocks I made echoed through the peaceful village as I waited for a reply in suspense.

Then, after a while, the doors began to shake gently, as if someone was unlocking it on the opposite side. It immediately stopped and the doors took place to part, revealing a beautiful korean lady on her mid 30's.

She wear her dark, wavy hair down to her shoulders that matched the cream sweater she wore. A long pair of dark loose pants reached her ankles. And her feet were covered with white socks before her pretty sandals. She has a slim-built body which makes her look younger, with her pale face, that was giving me a white flash of smile.

"O! Hanye's daughter. Ahh~ yeppuda!" She said with a motherly soothing voice. Her eyes looking at me with excitement.

She still remembers my mom---it's quite a relief.

"Ah, kamsahamnida!" I replied with embarrassment. "Uhm, annyeong madam Kwang Soon. I'm Hannah Li, by the way. I hope you're doing well."

"Madam? Ah, do I really look that old?" She frowned jokingly. "Eomeoni. Call me eomeoni instead----Ah, come in, come in!"