Time seem to fly slow. Too slow that I felt like I'm gonna die any time now. Taemin didn't helped either. He was giving me too much frustration lately. And it's because he hadn't contacted me after that late night call.

It's been four days. Four days of absolute torment. A couple of times I have texted him, but never did he replied to any of them. I had called him too, but there was no answer except for the continuous ringing. He sure was busy. He's just busy, I assured myself over and over again.

I had thought a lot before I pressed the call button. But I wasn't calling him. I was calling his bestfriend. Hoping he could somehow change the way I am thinking right now.

The line went ringing. I bit my lip as I waited for him to answer. I can't believe I'm doing this now. And I feel so stupid, because again, Taemin was the reason for this.
 

"Yobeoseyo? Name please?" I recognize Kai's voice before the noise behind him.

"K-Kai-ssi.. It's Hannah. I-I-" 

"Oh! Hannah-ssi, how are you?" His voice shifted in cheers.

"I'm sorry for calling you. But, I just wanna ask you something."

"Neh, go on."

"I'm wondering if you're able to contact Taemin? I mean, any news about him for the past days? Did he lost his phone or something? Kai-ssi, it's been days since he called. I'm worried." My voice trembled as my words flowed fast. I'm dying to know how he is. And why he wasn't answering my calls.

"Hmm..I have no clue. We hadn't talked either. Don't worry, I heard they'll be arriving tomorrow."

Tomorrow? It's earlier than I expected. But somehow, there was a slight bliss I first felt after days. That quite aided me to feel just a little bit better.

 

~~~On the other line, Kai sighed heavily after hanging up. He don't really felt nice about lying to her that he and Taemin hadn't talked. Taemin had been calling him more lately. But what they have been conversing a lot was never a good thing for Hannah to know.~~~



 

***



 

I knew I was out of my mind when I thought of this risky idea. What had gone into me that I became so desperate of seeing him again. I missed him more and more every second. Maybe that was the erratic reason that impelled me on doing this.

Wrapped with layers of sweater jackets and huge glasses, I was playing a disguise in the increasing crowd of mostly women. I can still be recognized if someone would look closely, but right now, no one would pay much attention, because SHINee would be going out of that arrival station and would pass by them in any minute.

I went all the way from Seoul to Incheon by renting a cab. I'm finally going to see my boyfriend again and I'm aiming to greet him with a self-made placard, with his name on it. I'll be waving it when they arrive, while acting as his die-hard fan. And I'm sure he would laugh at me like crazy when we'd meet in private.

I'm not really planning on running to him to kiss him in front of these people. No, that would be suicide in my part, before his fans would act a murder.

 

"Ahhhh!~ SHINeeeee! Ahhh!~" 
 

Someone shrieked, and more piercing voices followed as the crowd bounced in commotion. Soon, I was grinning from ear to ear when I was able to see them, especially my lovely Taemin.

Just like every airport fashion he had put on was amazing, right now he was breathtakingly gorgeous, that I felt like drooling over him. He was wearing a tight sleeveless black top, revealing his ally arousing collarbones, his glorious ridge of Adam's apple, and the fine humps of muscles in his robust arms.

A part of me was solely enticed by him, but another part gets me uneasy, because I know these girls were feeling the same. And they were probably getting my boyfriend in their minds. 

The loud cries of worship for the shining boys didn't had the chance to die down, as they were already walking toward us now. I squeezed myself into the crowd to have my place in the very front. As much as I am thirsting to see his expression on seeing me, my heart was pumping like crazy too. It would be our first encounter after the romantic Jeju trip.

The crowd behind me was dodging my back from time to time, but I didn't cared anymore as I was also driven into excitement. I placed the card in front of me, while staring at his face, waiting for his eyes to meet the longingness in mine. I watched him intently, as he slowly moved closer and closer.
 

"Ah!--" 

A strong swift of force from behind made me loose balance as I tumbled out of the crowd, and landed into the ground with my palms and knees. I winced at the slight pain on my leg, as I struggled to get up.

I was beginning to think on how to find fault to the one who caused this. But before I could stand with my feet, I felt a hand curling on my upper arm, gently pulling me up to find a wall of creamy flesh in front of me. It was so familiar that I turned up to meet his face in surprise.

His eyes widened as he recognized me. He has the funniest look right now, and being able to witness it, a shy smile formed on my lips.

"Why- why are you here?" His voice was low but fast, though he stuttered nervously and gripped my arm with more pressure.

I watched his lips as they moved, those full lips were right in front of me now, and staring at it seem to hypnotize me. 

"Taemin-ah, do you know her?" We both turned to one of the guys in their team, who was peeking behind him. That was only the time I realize that the rest of SHINee and their managers were right behind him, waiting for me to move out of their way.
 

"Uh, No." He answered aloud while letting go of my arm hastily. 

He turned at me and looked me in the eyes.

"Excuse me. I don't have time for this." I could barely hear his voice through the noise, and I knew he didn't intend to let anyone hear his words this time, except for me. 

I forced myself to nod once, before his daunting image disappeared from my view, and the rest passed by me while giving me kind glances.

I could point out the startled faces of his hyungs as I began bowing to them as well. I then sank back into the crowd and nearly ran to a bare corner. My chest was pounding hard. I had just encountered an absolute embarrassment.

But what didn't left my head was the sight of Taemin, denying me. I know I shouldn't make this a big deal. He's in public. Just how could he risk on claiming your relationship in front of people? 

Though I could always find strength to defend him through the conflicting thoughts inside me, I was still vulnerable. A pang of hurt streaked through me, when I looked at his vacant and emotionless eyes when he said those words in my face. 

I stared at the empty space in front of me. The place was quiet now as the crowd went trailing down with the stars. I stood there, catching sight of the placard that I left on the ground. As I walked to pick it up, the words became clearer.
 

'Taemin-oppa~ your number one fan is right here! Please smile brightly when you see me!'

I sighed while picking it up. But it wasn't long until I let go of it again, throwing it into a garbage bin.

Tears were now brawling against my hold. I don't know what was happening to us, and I was losing too much reasons to fight for him.