[Taemin's P.O.V]

 

I walked in my room hastily. I Squatted down to fish under the bed for my bag pack. I straightened up when my hand tugged it. Next object-->mp3. Where had I placed it? 

I threw the bag over my bed so that both of my 'magic hands' could play their role of searching for what they had lost. Just give up now--my mind tried to induce me as my forehead felt damp with some drops of sweat.

'I can't leave without it again' I thought, depicting the long trips I would be in soon, without my precious mp3 to play me eargasmic songs. 

Tok! Tok! 

I shuffled up and found umma leaning by the door. She was waving my mp3 in the air so I could see it. I sighed in relief and stood up from peeking under the cabinets.

"I found this by the couch." She said, referring to the titanium MP3 player while handing it to me.

"And this...is this yours? Your name's in it."

I glanced at the pink book that she held with her other hand. She shoved it closer and I saw my name in bold letters. 

"Ah, neh. Thanks umma." I took my mp3 and the weird book that looks like another of my fans' pursuit of love. I threw it in the bag together with some of my clothes.

"Pali (hurry), Naeun's waiting outside." 
 

I zipped my bag pack then hanged it on my shoulders. I hurried to the hallway as umma followed. I reached the living room and found Naeun sitting on the couch. She then stood up as our eyes met and smiles beamed the room again. Her beauty never failed to daze me. She was indeed pretty, just like any other girl in the kpop industry.

I turned to umma to address our leave. Then my eyes roamed the room. I was looking for Hannah so we could say goodbye to her too, but she wasn't there. 

Umma slide the door close behind us after we stepped out. We walked to the gates, but I kept on turning around the open space. 

"Wae?" I turned surprisingly at Naeun. Her eyes were curious with the look on my face I wasn't aware of. I realize I was madly searching for her by the distance. I don't know, but I felt responsible of informing her that we're leaving now.

"Mwo? Nothing. I'm just--tired." I replied bluntly as we went through the gates and hopped in the car where we reunite with the WGM staff again.


 

***
 

"Oppa, I want to ride that, it's challenging me." Naeun almost whined while tugging my numb arm and pointing out at the roller-coaster ride before us. We were shooting in an amusement park and ridiculously riding everything we went by. 

I don't really hate these rides like Key hyung does but I'm too tired to enjoy it and appear in love with it on-screen. 

"Wae? Do you want me to die?" I burst out. Ofcourse I didn't mean that. For me, this is nearly nothing compared to skydiving which I had tried like a boss. I was hesitant for her sake.

"As long as we're together that won't happen, right?" She said sweetly while smiling and looking at the ground. Her words were now gaining courage than the last time. 

"Gurae, let's go." I said, defeated by her innate charms.

And so, we rode the roller coaster. What it gave us?---dizziness and coarsed throat from shrieking in high pitch. We could've broke our vocal chords.

The shooting finally ended up after the directors' remarks.

'Taeun fighting!'

'Annyeong!'

'Go home safe!'

'You did well.'

Everyone chorused. I turned to Naeun who was already looking at me. Then I gestured on leaving first.

"Take care oppa." She slowly waved her hand and flashed me a sluggish smile. 

"You too." I called back as I hurried to a separate van to proceed to my next schedule.




 

***
 

♪♫ Everybody, wake up, wake up ♪♫
 

The music died off after we slammed ourselves on the floor and pointed a finger up. Heavy panting now echoed in the studio. I was gasping for air, as my chest inflated like it would burst, only to crash back to my ribcage. We were all relishing the comfort of laying down, though the floor was bare and cold.

Minho hyung was the first to get up, but he shortly went back to the floor. He was leaning by the wall of mirrors, that revealed our hideous reflection. The others followed, and each grabbed a bottle of water. 

I was left lying on the floor. With arms widespread, and one knee buckling up, I stared blankly at the ceiling. 

"Taemin-ah, you okay?" Our leader called out. I drifted from my frozen state when I nodded in response.

I heard his steps approaching then his sweaty face came into my view. He then offered one arm at me.

"Let's go." He said. I reached for his hand and I was pulled up forcefully. I almost lost balance standing with my own shaky legs. I didn't knew I needed help getting up.

We walked to one corner where the others were, joining them in preparing our things. 

"No more texting when you get home, just rest." Minho flung his arm around my shoulders. His round eyes peeked for mine through my shaggy bangs. Dark circles were painted under it. "Copy?"

"Copy that." I shrugged at the thought that they still have a couple of shows to attend- and it's almost 11 in the evening!

We were supposed to come in five but I'm sick. Burning. Enough to convince my manager that he have to cancel mine. 

We began to trail on the hallway, passing by different studios. Some were still storming with music and squeeking sounds of shoes sliding on the floor. Everyone is working hard to deliberately compete for the shining shimmering spot at the peak. 

Not that all idols have that competitiveness like Minho hyung and his games, but most of us just have to push ourselves on the hanging edge of it rather than we're always willing to- because we all signed a contract. And our company owns us.

 

We waited across the elevator. It then slowly opened, and we noticed the F(x) girls ready to head out through the doors. 

"Hey!" "How's it going?" The boys chorused as we were surprised to bump on each other at this kind of time. They all exchanged greetings while I just continued to smile and greet them with my eyes. We've known the girls since we've been training. We've been together through many concerts and we can count them as close friends.

I noticed Minho's face lightening up, catching Sulli's sweet smile on him. He's been liking her since their first team up on a drama. We all think that they're mutually interested in each other but they both knew it's better to leave it just like that.

"Taemin-ah, annyeong!" The last one to get out of the elevator was Krystal. She paused in front of me and pinched my right cheek, mumbling baby talk.

"Yah! When will you stop? Aish-" I cracked up feeling annoyed of treating me like a baby. She knows that I get easily irritated by it and she enjoys teasing me every time we run into each other.

She grinned at my face while softly chuckling. I then glared at her as she joined the others to their studio. I turned back to face my hyungs who were waiting for me to get in the elevator. Their faces were obviously trying hard not to grin like a maniac.

"What's wrong with you guys? Really?" I murmured while walking in the elevator with my head down.

The doors closed and we started to descend. Jonghyun then patted my shoulder and I turned at him, prying at the weird look on his face.

"Don't you get it?" His eyes conjoined with the question. "She likes you. How can you be so blind Taemin-ah?"

I flung my head back down with a smirk. I knew he'd say that. They've been telling me about it a hundred times and I just denied it and never really made it a big deal. To be honest, I don't really know how to deal with it. Krystal is a special friend to me, that's the only thing I'm sure about.

"Yah, don't teach a married man to cheat!" Onew's voice deepened as he tried to appear like he's scolding the playboy.

"How's Naeun?" Minho asked.

"How's your honeymoon?" Onew interrupted.

I flinched. I was slightly panicking while thinking of safe words.

"She's...really nice." I said, before they were yelling boos all over. Apparently, my reply didn't meet what they prefer hearing.

"Hey Jong, Taemin likes Suzy the best!" Key barged in from behind before flooding his annoying laugh in the elevator which made us frown.

Jonghyun had mentioned his interest with Miss A's Suzy Bae lately so he's the top target of being teased since Suzy's eyes were on me, at least that's what they say. 

I shut my eyes and sighed. Here we go again. The 'Let's Break into the Maknae's Heart' is starting. Since I'm the most discreet when it comes to who I like, it intrigues them. I couldn't blame them, I hadn't told them a single name that would feed their curiousness.
Not after the worst thing that happened last year.

"Not Suzy, Taemin-ah." Jonghyun said coolly. He began shaking his head, covering his eyes with his palm, acting like he's about to burst to tears. Ofcourse he don't mean it. Well, he's eyeing on a dozen of girls to be frank, not just Suzy. 

We all laughed at his dorky self. I know he's trying to make us forget that we're absolutely wasted. 


 

***
 

"Lee Taemin! Sleep well you sickly kid!" Key's voice was the last one to escape from the car window, before it closed. The car then rolled down the street and I continued to wave my hand until it disappeared in the shadows. 

I held my bag pack on one hand, it's nearly touching the ground. Carrying it carelessly, all I think I should care is to rest. Just when I'm about to reach for the knockers, the gates shook and I heard a familiar sound of bar locks unraveling.

It opened then umma greeted me. Her face was full of worry as she pulled me in while giving me a lot of concern.

"Neh, it's just a slight fever. I'm not yet dying." I joked around and she scowled at me. She then guided me to my room like I'm gonna collapse anytime. 

"Umma, is Hannah still around?" Okay, that was random, but I was just curious. It feels like she's got a problem with me. It's like, she's avoiding me. Like, making space for some reason. She had not even approached me even once! What's wrong with her?

I remembered the first time we were introduced and she's just less than polite in making me hang my hand in the air, and wait for a handshake for too long that I thought she'd neglect my manners.

And...

At the treehouse, she just left without saying anything for an excuse! She even called me cute. I'm sick of dealing with this 'Taeminnie' thing. She should have thanked me for letting it pass by. Because we owe her family, yes I'll try to be nice to her, most of the time.

"Yeah, she's staying for a month or so. Wae?" 

Why did she ask? Now I don't know what to say.

"Urgh, umma, I'm burning." I winced while crunching my nose, trying to change the subject.

She then shifted and left me sitting on my bed, promising to come back with medicine and probably something to put on my forehead.

I decided to change clothes. I grabbed my bag which I had thrown on the floor. I opened it and looked for something like a T-shirt. Just as then, my hand grasped a hard object. Ah, the book. I held it out, getting a closer look at it's girly theme. Checking it out, I was surprised to find out that it has a lock...and it was locked. 

"Ah, chincha?" I thought of how crazy a fan could be to give me something that seems like even I whose name is in the cover, is not supposed to open it. I stared at the tiny lock. I think I could break it. 

I positioned my hands on each side of the cover and began to pull it apart forcefully. 

Nope.

I tried one more vigorous pull. 

Oh, this isn't a joke. 

Okay, one mo-o-o-ore....

 

...then PUFF!

The lock didn't cracked open, but the chain was teared off the hard bound cover. 
That means... I was wrong about the stubborn lock. But though, I could open it! Yay.
 

I turned the cover open then saw the first page.

TO: 
'LEE TAEMIN'
'MY DEAR, I'M ENGROSSED WITH YOU'

Next page, my baby pictures to my debut days, each with captions. Every page I turn, comes a series of events, featuring my whole life. It's funny how someone I don't know, knows almost everything about me. I don't have to be surprised. This isn't the first time that a fan freaked me out.

I flipped the pages sloppily, not really reading all the captions in each photo. Until I paused at the last page of the book. It was some kind of a hand written letter. 

It said:
 

"Yah! You! If you're reading this, you're Taemin oppa right? Well, sorry for being informal. But I would like to continue, mianhe.

Don't be too flattered with what I wrote on your photos. It is all true, you know that. 
But it is because I'm sick of loving you too much that I tried my best to write this letter with a whole different approach.

You don't like it? Well, you should at least appreciate my efforts.

You don't know what you're doing to your fans like me oppa. You don't know how much you invaded my life and played with my emotions without my control.

I didn't know that it's even possible to love someone who seems to live only in my dreamland and does not care about my existence at all.

If you're reading this, I had met you right? I had handed this to you, personally.

That's a great accomplishment you know. I'm probably having problems of how to get over with you, now that I had met you in person and gave you this little kind of senseless object.

Yes it is pointless for you right? You couldn't see the whole point out of this scrap because you're not in my shoes.

But for you to know, this, you, are everything to me.

If someone close to me could describe me in one word, it would be your name oppa.

It would be you, only you....

...that will best describe me."
 

I swallowed hard. I realized my mouth had been hanging open when my eyes read the strange letter.

A cloud popped out through my head. Imagination.

Tv host: 'Can you describe her in one word?'

Her friend: 'Uhm....ahhhm....LEE TAEMIN!'

Then the crowd went wild and gave them a standing ovation while cheering with all their might.

 

Okay, that sounds so wrong....so wrong. I shook my head as my hand cupped my forehead, supporting it as I threw my head down. This is hilarious, I thought, smiling like a fool.

Wait, there's something missing. The writer. It's useless in sending gifts without your name on it. Maybe for the first time I could remember a fan's name, because of her euphoric letter.

I turned back at the book again, trailing my eyes down to the bottom of the letter, looking for something I could elicit from this 'PABO' fan.

My eyes squinted at the small letters signed next to the "Thanks for lending me some of your precious time!"

I pointed my finger at the letters.

"LI HAN NAH"

 

Wait. What?!

Random thoughts of her started to whirl in my head.

And suddenly, the pieces started to fit each other.

So...that was her problem...