***
 

I knew I couldn't take it anymore when I grabbed the remote and turned the television off. There was enough SHINee news on TV, promoting their new single and future concerts. The variety shows were also packed up with their comeback and interviews. 

He was also expected to appear in a couple of pair-ups with pretty idols, after signing contracts. And the worst, Taemin was back on WGM with Son Naeun, reasoning out that he only had to temporarily quit it for his world tour. 

I'm all alone. And no one would see me if I start crying again. But I'm done. I'm tired of showing everyone how weak I am. I had moved out from his mother's house and stayed in my "future home". I smiled sarcastically. My long awaited dream was here. I could touch it, but my topmost reason was all crumbled up. Leaving me no purpose to pursue.

I've been here for a full week. Imagine that whole week, dealing with my stupid self. Waking up everyday on my own, and thinking how much time do I still have to stay like this. I had wished for all of these to end soon. Well, it would probably be granted today, because I'll be going back to where I really belong. And that would be away from him. 

 

Tok! Tok! Tok!
 

I jumped up from the couch and went for the front door. I was expecting people. And that would be my grandpa and my mom. I was the one who asked them, especially mom, to visit Seoul before summer ends. But the truth, I don't wanna go home alone. I still don't trust myself for that. 

I didn't had the chance to speak when I saw them and hugged them both. I was happy to see them. The persons who would always stay by my side, no matter what. My family. I realize I couldn't live without them.
 

After knowing how everybody had been doing, mom began to roam around the house. She was relentlessly brainwashing me about the basics of living alone in Seoul in the future. But grandpa and I just giggled behind her, causing her to explain her point more further.
 

"Let's go. I'm excited to meet her." Mom said after she finished wandering through every corner of the house.

Yeah right. I have to go with them, back to eomeoni's house. It's been a week. I wonder if Taemin already visited her. Because all I know was, he never did, when I was still there. 




 

***
 

"Oh, you have sons?" I heard mom exclaim.

My eyes widen as I turned to grandpa who was sitting in front of me. Mom and eomeoni had already started their own conversation in the couch. And eomeoni finally mentioned his sons, which my mom hadn't knew yet. Because she was informed of 'daughters'.

"Hmm, I see." She nodded while eomeoni continues to talk about them. 

Grandpa smiled on his own while turning back to the newspaper he was reading. I sighed heavily, as I decided to make up my mind now. Since we stepped in here, I had thought of going somewhere quick, while they're still busy. 

I was about to get permission to all of them, but mom was obviously drawn into her chat with eomeoni, so I got to ask grandpa. I didn't told him where I would be going, but he trusts me, so he agreed while admitting me to use the car.

I found my way outside without mom noticing it. I ran through the gates and hurriedly got in the back seat of the car. I heard Mr. Goon yelp in surprise. But then, he figured out I was in a hurry, so he immediately drove off after I told him where I was wishing to go.





 

***

 

I realize it was too dark for a middle afternoon, as I stepped out of the car. I turned at the rumbling skies before glancing back at the rosary bracelet that was still around my wrist. 

Sure thing he didn't meant it when he said this would be the sign of his promise that he would be coming back to me. I knew this thing means a lot to him, so I'm giving it back, because I don't already have the same worth of it for him.

If I had let my mind rule over me, I wouldn't be choosing to do this now. But, I decided to do this for my still aching heart. I have to evoke a decent disclosure between our relationship. I have to make things spelled out in my face. So I wouldn't have any reason to keep coming back on hoping.

I patiently waited for Kai outside the back exit of the SM ent. building. Fortunately, he had conceded with my plan, and only agreed to help, for the fact that this will be the last thing I would have to do before leaving.
 

"Hannah-ssi!" 

He finally showed up while flashing me a suppressed smile. He was nervous about this. Just how would he deal with it, if he'd get caught for leading me to Taemin's dressing room.

"Here, wear this." He handed me a hooded jacket, and I quickly put it on as we headed for the stairs.

We climbed a number of staircase. But before we could run out of breath, I know I'm just steps away from him when Kai finally lead me to the hallway. I held my head down as we passed by people. 

The hallway was a little crowded, but before I knew it, I was pushed swiftly in another compartment. And I knew I was already in SHINee's waiting room, when familiar voices echoed inside the enclosure. But it suddenly turned over to a complete silence.

Shocked faces. That was the first to welcome me when I looked up to the place. There they are, all alone, staring at me, making sure if I was really the girl their maknae had turned down. I noticed Taemin look away shortly after he recognize me though, but I'm not backing up in any way.

"Uhm, guys...I-I guess we have to give them some time." Key finally spoke, while the others, except Taemin, agreed in unison. 

It was awkward how they passed by me one by one, by just nodding for greeting. Though Jonghyun, the last one to go out, tapped Taemin's shoulder, and then mine.

Now the room was suffocating as the door bolted close. He was still sitting on a single couch, but now, he had pulled out a magazine, completely ignoring my presence.

Watching him across the room, the memories of us played on my head. From the very start of how I first met him as one of his fans. I was already his, even before I became his girlfriend. Those times were so magical. The words he said to me were so dream-like, so I should have not believed they were close to being true. 

I balled my fists. I didn't came here to reminisce our moments.

"Don't worry, I didn't came here to get back with you or anything. I'm here to return this. You might not have the chance to get it, because I'll be leaving today." I plainly said while moving to the table in front of him, and placing his bracelet on top.

I stepped back as I looked at his expression. His face was blank, like he didn't heard anything. He was still focused on whatever it is he was reading. 
 

"And...J-Just one more thing, before I go...please tell me we're done." 

I was beginning to breath heavily as I waited for him to speak. I waited for him to tear every hope I knew I still had. But, he didn't budged. I realize he was such a hard-headed brat that really doesn't want to talk. And this made me greatly pissed out that I kicked the table real hard.

"I'm asking you to say you're breaking up with me! Taemin? That doesn't even look hard for you!" I yelled. 

It was the first time I lost control of my anger in such a destructive way. And this made him finally turn at me, staring intently through my raging eyes, before his lips began to move, to speak what I was demanding.
 

"We're done. I'm breaking up with you." 





 

His voice was stuck in my head as I made my way downstairs. The voice that had always sung me to sleep once, and had never failed to tug at my lips, has now become the cause for my whole being to turn into shreds.

There he said it. I was finally free. Everything's crystal clear now, but I wouldn't say that it never hurts in accepting the truth.

For God's sake, I didn't came here to leak my eyes again. But here I am, bursting to tears as I took a walk in the streets. My feet were fleeting without rhythm, as I followed the almost empty road. People would probably run for a shade in this worsening atmosphere.

But I didn't had the chance to worry of getting wet if it would start raining anytime now. I was somehow comforted by the weather. We were both in the same state. Gloomy.