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The Review: 

1. Punctuation, Spelling and Grammar (17.5/20)
- Let's start with your grammar first. I think your weakest spot is staying in one tense. I have seen a lot of paragraphs with past tense, and suddenly it would change into a present one and vice versa. For example in Chapter One, you've written:

"I'll go when I'm ready." Taeyeon said blankly and exited the room and went downstairs, instantly grabbing the freezing ice cream from her freezer. Jessica rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue in annoyance, she then followed Taeyeon downstairs.

Do you see how you changed the verbs' tenses from past to present? I think that it would be better if you stayed in one tense only. 

"I'll go when I'm ready." Taeyeon said blankly and exited the room, and rushed dowstairs to her kitchen. Instantly, she grabbed the frozen ice cream from her freezer. 

In this one you can see that I changed the present tense to the past and added a little more detail to what you meant by "went downstairs". There were also some sentences in which it was a bit confusing and it seemed redundant to me. "Kim Taeyeon you were not born as a quitter, now come on." Jessica pulled her hand with all her might, and finally she got Taeyeon to come out of the car. Once again this sentence is lacking details as well. You might want to change it to this: "The Kim Taeyeon I knew was never a quitter. Now please, come on." With all her might, Jessica pulled her hand; thus leading Taeyeon to stumble out of the car. Doesn't that sound better? Jessica (in your story) portrays as Taeyeon's best friend whom not only cares about Taeyeon getting over her phobia, but as well as her well-being. As far as I know, to get a person to actually do the things that they are scared of, you have to butter them up by using "please" and "thank you" and so then why would Jessica try to force Taeyeon into doing something that she clearly is afraid to do? Does Jessica actually care for her happiness? 

And again the confusion comes up, in your story there was a scene in which the girls tell Taeyeon to sit on a chair. Later on, Kai comes up to Taeyeon and tells her to "get out" because it was his seat. This one is - once again - confusing as the girls literally set Taeyeon up to sit on somebody's chair; thus leading her to trouble. I get that they want her to be back to "Palm Tiger" again but can't they wait until she has fully recovered? So the golden question pops up again - do the girls actually care about Taeyeon? Or are they just using her?

2. Title (4/5)

- The title didn't necessarily catch my attention but I loved how the story evolved around it. Enchanted meant to be charmed, and I get that she's charmed between Luhan and Baekhyun (although neither are confirmed at the end). The only thing that I gave you a minus point for is having the stars around the title. What are the stars for exactly? Do they represent something in Taeyeon's life? Do they represent Baekhyun and Luhan as the "bright light" in her life? Or is it for decoration purposes? Either way, at least the title relates to the st