♡ kaepie // A Bittersweet Melody

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A Bittersweet Melody by kaepie
Main Characters: Youngjae, Jin Ae (OC)
Genre/s: Angst, Romance, Tragedy
Status: Complete
Reviewer: CutieLay

The Review: 

1. Punctuation, Spelling and Grammar (18/20)
- The way that you wrote this is very beautiful but the placement of the lyrics did bother me quite a lot. Not only that, but the commas as well did not do justice to your beautiful writing; some commas were placed unnecessarily and that threw me off a bit.

2. Title (4/5)

- What I like about your title is that it's simple and straightforward, but in terms of originality the title does not cut through with me. In addition, the title does not seem to hook readers into it; for this kind of story I would've gone in a more dramatic title somehow.

3. Organization (7/10)

- As I've mentioned before I do not like the placement of the lyrics; the way that you mention Raina and San E's song as well is confusing because the lyrics that you put are B2ST's Fiction; I would've liked if you said that she was the one who composed it just to make more sense. The flashbacks confused me as well because the font is still the same except that it's in italics.  I do have to compliment you on connecting all of the events together without a problem, good job!

4. Details (8/10)

- Personally, I don't really mind if authors didn't use enough details whatsoever, but with you it's very different. I think to complement to your beautiful writing, you need to add more details. For example, you have stated that Youngjae was a "figure of admiration" and you've mentioned about how he has fangirls, but given that he is a celebrity, shouldn't his fans b

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jaebal
[26/12/14] New rule made (#010), and those exceptions will only be if the reviewers are willing to read on.

Comments

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Leonny
#1
Chapter 25: Till now I found out you finished my request long time ago:c
I'm so sorry for making you work and never commenting.
But thanks! I will credit you and keep this review always!
Happy new year! <3
OneDirection11
#2
I have submitted :) thanks ^^
kaepie
#3
Chapter 11: Thank you for the review! I'll be sure to credit you but can I just put your shop name with the link? Because I don't have my computer anymore and I can't put the banner in it.
PinKyPurPle13
#4
Chapter 18: Thank you for the review. I'll be crediting you now. :)
--taengrose
#5
Chapter 26: Thank you for the review. I'll be crediting you now. :)
kimmaryo
#6
hi authornim! can we be affies? heres my shop... ^^

⋆ᴍint ßlue Graphics & Review Ƨhop | ft. Xiumin & Taehyung⋆ [OPEN! HIRING || ACCEPTING REQUESTS]

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/872624
pearlyaccio
#7
Chapter 24: Thank you for the review, I'll credit you soon^^
Kpopismylyfe
#9
Chapter 23: Thank you so much for the review! That was the first one-shot I've ever posted on AFF so I kinda expected a worse score, but I got alot higher than I expected! Anyway, I'll go credit you right away ^_^
kpopcrown
#10
Chapter 22: THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO READ MY STORY!!!!! Thank you for the review. <33