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Pain In The Fate by Leonny
Main Characters: Ha Yee and Leo (Jung Taekwoon)
Genre/s: Angst, Sliceoflife, Utopian Life, Romance
Status: Ongoing
Reviewer: oshi

The Review: 

1. Punctuation, Spelling and Grammar (15/20)
- Your vocabulary range is pretty wide, but I think that your weakness is changing tenses and using correct prepositions. I went ahead and changed some sentences and paragraphs from your three chapters.

  The girl closed the little chat box, opening other, of her bestfriend. They talked everyday at any time. If it was 4 a.m., it was fine for both, 12 p.m. at class, it was fine for both. The thing is, her bestfriend is a boy. Five years older than her. Even if they live in the same place, they had never meet before face to face. Just casual webcams, some voice messages and random photos. They knew everything about each other, their feelings, their school, age, birthday, what's with their parents, and more. Everytime she needed to be comforted, she sent a big message filled with random uppercase letters.   The girl closed the little chat box and opened another one that belonged to her best friend. They talked everyday, regardless of time; even if it was four in the morning or twelve in the afternoon, both would be fine. Her best friend is a boy, and five years older than her. But even though they live in the same place, they had never met before face-to-face; they would only have casual webcams, some voice messages, and random photos. They practically know everything about each other, their feelings, their school, age, birthday, and more. Every time she felt the need to be comforted, she sent a big message filled with random uppercase letters.   What the-- what was she talking about? Obviously, the water was liquid. Did she want to mean "then, the air is liquid?". Unless she was being sarcastic. The sound of his cat meowing distracted him, as it started chewing his coat. Taek Woon lightly frowned, pulling the cat's snout with his finger slowly and gently, before wrapping his whole arm around the cat's body and standing up, ready to make his way to home again. It was already eleven with twenty-three minutes of the night. On his way, he was writing, sometimes deleting everything because he did some minor typos. Is not that he focused his mind on not commiting typos, since everybody did mistakes, but, it was a lot, specially when his cat keep on moving. "Stop" he ordered firmly, as he squeezed the animal, which turned to be quiet.   'What the — what was she talking about? Obviously, the water is liquid! Did she want to mean "Then, the air is liquid?". Is she being sarcastic?' He thought. The meow that came from his cat distracted him, as it started chewing his coat. Taek Woon lightly frowned, and pulled the cat's snout slowly and gently with his finger before her wrapped his arm around the cat's body and stood up, ready to go home again. It was already eleven twenty-three in the night. While walking, he wrote to the girl but decided to delete everything as he had some minor typos. It's not that he restricted himself from having typos, but the mistakes were a lot, especially when his cat kept moving.  "Stop." He said firmly as he squeezed the animal, which became quiet.  

Ignoring her younger sister's words from moments ago, she turned again to her desk, where her books and pages were placed at to be worked in. She was already at faculty, studying for her tests, and organizing all her projects. To clear her mind, she usually hang out of home with friends, going to practice different dances, and entering contests. Spending time with people she really thinks they are nice, was the best thing for her. In the case of meeting her little bestfriend, that was better than anything. Everytime her little bestfriend, which she met by Facebook, visited certain place at Japan, she would ask her to go out and talk randomly. But it's been long time since they did it, all because she was busy.

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