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The Review: 

1. Punctuation, Spelling and Grammar (15/20)
- Some parts were quite confusing because of the sudden switching of the sentences. You would start with a present tense and then use a past tense for others. As well as that, you tend to not put spaces after commas (,) and periods (.). It is quite unpleasant to see; it made my eyes hurt. Other than these two things, you're all good. 

* For more help in sentence spacing you can go here: [x] or [x].

2. Title (4/5)

- The title is pretty good. It does makes sense as Jinwoo wants Kai to end up with Minzy, though it would mean something else in return. 

3. Organization (8/10)

- I didn't really see the resolution in the end, it was more of a cliffhanger to me.

4. Details (6/10)

- Only a few details were given. Was Jinwoo born as a lost soul, or did he die because of a tragedy? What does Minzy see in Kai that makes her like him?