So then reality hit all of us.
We went on with our normal lives.
I was busy styling Big Bang for their show viewings and watching over them during their CFs.
I was also busy with the tv show.

But then Mr. Yang gave me another job and it was to style 3G, since they were going to have a come back with their new album.
But the business was good.  If I didn’t have my mind and body in work, then I would have probably thought of Jiyong all day.
I already think about him at least once a day, just think about how much I would think about him when I had nothing to do.
And as usual, I tried to avoid him as much as possible.  Now it wasn’t because my heart hurt like it has before, but I was avoiding him so the other pairs of eyes won’t be following us around and snickering behind our backs.
Sally, Jenny, and all the other members think that there is something going on between us, but they are wrong.
We don’t even talk to each other anymore.
We only have the occasional “hi” or “does this look good?” or “how do you feel about this?”.  There is no other communication than that.
A relationship cannot be built on that.

So going on with the story.

Today, I was to go to the studio and listen to 3G recording.
They haven’t finished all of their songs, and while I was there listening to their new music, I was to be quote on quote “inspired” and create new styles through that.
I don’t know if I can be “inspired”.  I hate Fairy’s guts, completely jealous of Amy’s sweet love with Taeyang, and completely awkward around Jiyong (who was their producer).
Inspiration would simply not exist during that time.
But I cannot refuse.  Mr. Yang was a scary man.

I walked in the recording studio seeing Jiyong behind the rows of buttons for the recording (I don’t know what they are called).
It reminded me of when I was here that one rainy night.
I shook that thought out of my head.
“Hey.” I said quietly.
Jiyong nodded and continued working on with a song.
“Okay.  Fairy you’re going to sing your solo now.” Jiyong said over the mic.
Fairy put her headphones on and nodded.
“Ready?”
“Of course honey.” She said.
I cringed.
The song came out and it was a mellow, soft beat, r&b song.  It reminded me of “I remember” by Keyshia Cole.
After the intro, Fairy started to sing
“We looked over to the view
I can’t stop falling in love with you.”

God she at singing.
How is she going to sing an r&b song with that measly voice?
This is not me being biased here.  She sounds like a miniature crow.
If there is a such thing.
How did she even become a singer?
How did Mr. Yang even put her in his agency?

“Stop.  Fairy. Again.” Jiyong stopped the music and turned it back on.
Fairy attempted to sing it, but she still miserably failed.
It was quite embarrassing to watch.
I was wishing for some technology to help drown out her voice, or at least make the other girls sing it.
“Fairy.  This is your solo song.  Can you please try to sing it well?” Jiyong said serious.
Wow.  That boy is scary when it comes to music.
I never knew.
I knew that he can be cold, but I haven’t really seen him work.
Fairy tried it again.
“GOD!  FAIRY!” Jiyong stopped the music and threw his cap.

Uh Oh.
“I’m sorry okay?  This song just isn’t for me.  It’s too slow.” Fairy said.
“You wanted a slow song.  You wanted to prove to the people that you could sing.” Jiyong said annoyed.
“But this song does not match me.” She fought back.
“What do you want to do then?  Just record with that voice?” He was definitely angry.
“Give me another song.”
“No. Go back and train your voice.  We can record tomorrow.” Jiyong said.
“No.  Give me another song.”
“I don’t have time to write another song for you Fairy.  Because of you, we have been pushing this album for 3 months now.  Get it right.” Jiyong said as he put his cap back on.

All this time they were arguing I felt extremely uncomfortable.  I felt that I should leave and give them some privacy, but I was afraid that if I stood up, I would be attacked by both of them.
I just stayed put.

“I’m leaving.” Fairy said.
Oh no.
Things were getting worse.
“Fine.  Leave.” Jiyong said.

Fairy came out of the recording booth and into the room to grab her things.  She spotted me then and her eyes narrowed into slits.
“You.”
That is all she said.  And then she briskly left the room without saying another word.
“.” Jiyong said.
I looked over to him and saw that he was slumped over the table.
“We needed to record the demo today for Mr. Yang to hear.” Jiyong said to the other recording producer.
“What do we do now?”
Jiyong started to think.
“I can’t sing it.  We need a girl’s voice.  The other girls are busy with another schedule today.  We can’t have the other girls in the agency sing this song….who can we….”
Both of them were thinking about it.

I finally decided to give them their space so I grabbed my things and was just about to leave.
“Myung.”
I turned around.
“Yes?” I said to Jiyong
“Go in the recording booth.”
“WHAT!?” I screamed.
“Now.” Jiyong had a stern voice.

I was so scared and completely lost (again) that I just walked on over to the booth.
I went inside the small room, and started to feel claustrophobic, when I’m not even.
.
I can’t sing.
What I am supposed to do?
Then I saw Jiyong signaling to me to put on the headphones.
I put them on and immediately heard Jiyong’s voice.
“Okay.  Myung.  The lyrics are right there in front of you.  The song is pretty slow and easy to follow.  Just sing.”
“But…I…I don’t even know this song.”
“Please.  Myung. “ Jiyong begged.
I looked at Jiyong’s face then and I realized that he was really begging.
I sighed and said “Ready.”

The song came out then.  The same intro that I have listened to for 3 times because of Fairy.
Okay.  Time to sing.
“We looked over to the view
I can’t help falling in love with you.
I try to forget, but every waking moment
My heart, mind, soul, and body screams out
I wish I could stay like this all night
Where it would only be just you and me
Sometimes I am not too sure about this
That I am afraid
And scared
But when you look deeply into my eyes
Right to my core,
I realize that I would not want to be anywhere else
I don’t want anyone else but you.”

So the recording was going on.
Occasionally he would stop me, and tell me to fix this and that, but overall it went pretty smoothly.
I think I even spotted a few approving glimpses from the other producers that were there.
The song ended and after a smooth 6 hours of recording Jiyong finally called me in.
“I never knew you could sing Myung.” One of the producers said
“Yeah.  You even sing better than Fairy.”
I shook my head
“No.  I don’t sing very well.” I said
“Jiyong! How did you know Myung could sing?” One of the producers asked Jiyong then.
Jiyong was leaning against the table.
“I just had a hunch.  I gave it a try.” He shrugged.
“So, you’re going to send this recording to Mr. Yang now?”
“Yeah.  This was good.  Good Job Myung.”  Jiyong said. And then he smiled. He mouthed a thank you and I blushed.
It really felt that he meant it.  The thank you.  I don’t know if I ever did receive a thank you from him before.  Ever.


“Myung…we’re going to Mr. Yang’s office right now.” Jiyong stood up and opened the door for me.
“Why do I have to go?” I questioned, but still stood up.
“Because you sang the song.  You are in need of recognition.”
“No…it’s all right.  I think I’m just going to take the bus home.”
“It’s 12.  I’ll take you home.”
“No..”
I guess he was sick and tired of arguing because next thing I knew, he was holding my wrist and dragging me upstairs.
“Jiyong…finished recording?  Where is Fairy?”  Mr. Yang looked over to me “Hello Myung.”
He looked back at Jiyong.
Jiyong replied “Fairy bailed out last minute.  She didn’t want to sing the song.”
Mr. Yang seemed displeased.
“So the recording was not taken place?  I told you we need the recording by today.  This album has been put back too long.”
“WE did the recording.  Just not with Fairy’s voice.”

I just stood there completely horrified that my boss was to listen to my disgusting singing voice.
Jiyong put a cd on Mr. Yang’s desk.
Mr. Yang took the cd, looked at Jiyong and then at me, and put it in his stereo to listen.

The music then and my voice came out.
I started to cringe, not wanting to hear my voice.
But surprisingly, it was good.
I mean, it wasn’t like crazy good, but it wasn’t that bad.
I didn’t know that I could sing like that.

Mr. Yang had his eyes closed, and his expression was still.
I didn’t know what he was thinking.

Finally the song ended and he opened his eyes.
He turned off the stereo.
“Who sang this?” He asked
Jiyong looked over to me and Mr. Yang followed.
Mr. Yang looked over to me and then smiled.
“I didn’t know you could sing.” He said.
“I can’t.  Jiyong oppa just produces very well.” I said.  I had my fingers wringed together.  I was a nervous wreck.
I felt like I was auditioning to be a singer.
“Jiyong does produce well, but you have a really good voice.  You never thought about singing?” He asked.
There was a time in elementary school where I wanted to be a singer, but after maturity hit me, I realized that I don’t have the talent or the determination to become a singer.
“no, sir.  I haven’t.” I said shyly.
“This song is very good.  And it seems like this song is your song now.  Fairy would never be able to sing it.”
“Yes, the song is very good.” I said.
“Okay.  You can leave now.  Thank you Jiyong.”
I looked up at Mr. Yang, but he already dismissed us.
He just told us to leave all of a sudden.  I didn’t understand.
“Let’s go.” Jiyong said.
I followed after him.
When we were outside, Jiyong started in explain.
“When Mr. Yang is normally done discussing, he just dismisses you.  He already has an idea.  And I think you are in it.”
“What?  I’m in it?  What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I think he is going to release this song to the mass market.”
“What! No!”
“Get in the car.”
I got in, but I was in a mix of emotions.
If what Jiyong said is true, than this song that I just sang by force would be released and I would be the laughing stock of Korea.
Apparently Jiyong probably felt my emotions because he started to talk.
“You sing well Myung.  Don’t worry.”
“I don’t sing well.  I’m going to be a joke.  This is all your fault.”
“It’s not my fault.  You didn’t have to sing if you didn’t want to.”
“You looked at me like you needed help.  I couldn’t say no!”
“I did need help.  That’s why I thanked you.”
“But I didn’t know that you were going to show that to Mr. Yang.”
“I didn’t think that I would either, but it was too good to pass by.”
“I’m going to be a joke.” I put my face in my hands.
“You thought that before, but instead you got a standing ovation.” He said.
“I never got a standing ovat-“

What did he mean?

“We’re here.  Have a good night.”
He was waiting for me to leave, so I couldn’t ask him why he said that.
I left the car, and he drove away.

Did he mean…
That party where I sang before?