“Sally!  How was your ride?” I asked when I saw her outside of the plane.
“Good!  I played some card games with Top. How was yours?  Did you have to witness a lot of the couple stuff?”  She frowned.
“No.  I fell asleep for a good part of it.  And Jiyong was being nice to me for once.” I said
“Nice?  What?  Jiyong?  Impossible.  He doesn’t care for anyone.”  Sally continues.
“I remember when I first came 2 years ago to work, he was cold as ice.  He would have these massive mood swings where he would be okay for about an hour and then all hell will break loose afterwards.” Sally whispered.
“How did he get Fairy then?” I asked
“Oh…Fairy?  Fairy just follows him around.  I sometimes wonder if Jiyong is actually gay.  I mean come on….Fairy is this hot girl following his every move, yet he doesn’t even flinch at all.” Sally said
“I see.  So they are not girlfriend and boyfriend?”
“No…but if they are I wouldn’t be surprised.  Fairy never met a man in her life who said no to her.”
“Oh.  I think they are together.  She calls him honey, and he was nice to her last time I saw.” I said.

“Good.  You guys are all here.  Myung.  Next time…please loosen your load.  I’m getting tired from your luggage.”
I smiled. “I’m sorry Hyungman.”
He smiled back and hollered a “let’s go!” to the crew.
I linked arms with Sally and walked out the gate.

There was a tourist guide waiting for us then with a big sign that said BigBang and 3G.
There was also a pretty large fan base screaming and yelling.
“How do these girls find out about this?” I asked Sally.
“I asked that myself all the time too.” She said.

We finally arrived to the hotel.  It was very very nice if I may add.
Five star hotel.
I plopped myself on the bed.
“We are finally here.  I’m tired.  Even if I took a nap during the plane ride.”
Sally laughed.
“ I think we are going to get some breakfast.  Do you want to come?”
“Nah.  I just want to unpack and stay here for a little.” I said.
“Okay.”
Sally went out then.

I stood up on the bed and then proceeded to unpack my things.
I did have a lot of clothes.
Marvelous.
I hung them up in the closet and filled the drawers with some too.
“Okay…now for the boys and girls clothes.” I said out loud to myself.
I had some of Bigbang’s and 3G’s clothes too.  I guess I can go over and give it to them?  No.  I’m pretty sure they are gone with the others for breakfast.

I just started to fold them nicely back into the trunk when someone was at the door.
Knock Knock Knock.
“Who is it?”
“Fairy!”
Fairy?  What was she doing here?
I opened the door.
“Fairy.  What are you doing here?  Do you need something?”
Fairy just barges in uninvited.
“I just came by to see if you got breakfast.” She sits on the bed.
“Oh…I just wanted to stay in my room.” I said.
UNDISTURBED
She flicks her hair.
“I needed to ask you for a favor.”
A Favor?  What?
“But before that. Do you know where Jiyong oppa is?  I can’t find him anywhere…” She pouted like a cute puppy.
The thing is ….she’s 27.  I’m not saying that 27 is old, but to act like a cute little girl…isn’t the most proper way to go.
And the gross part of all of this is that she called Jiyong…Jiyong-OPPA.
Jiyong is 24. She is 3 years older. COME ON.
At least if you want to be with him, don’t pretend to be someone else.
“No.  I haven’t seen him since the ride here.  Maybe he is out with the others to go get breakfast.”
“Yeah.  I figured.”  She flicked her hair again.
“So…your favor?” I asked.  I started to tap my foot a little.  I wanted her out of my room.
“Oh...” She flicks her hair. “I want you to style me for today’s show part and tonight when we have the dinner party.  Jiyong says that he has a surprise.”  She looks at me then with a sly smile “We’ve been dating for a year now and I think he is finally going to propose to me.”
I felt my knees go weak.
Was this girl serious?  Or was she insane?
But whatever it was, it wasn’t my business.
“Don’t you have Sally and Jaeyoung to help you with your styling?” I asked.
“Yes.  But I want you to style me.” She looked at me as if she was some kind of higher authority.
The only boss was Mr. Yang. And my job was to be Bigbang’s stylist.  I only helped out 3G only when Jaeyoung asked for my help.
She stood up now from the bed and went to my closet.

If she opens that closet and touches any of my clothes, I will pull out her hair and make her a skirt out of it.
Oooohhh….I love this dress.  Can I wear it today?” She opened my closet and pulled out my red and black striped Michael Kors dress.
!
Every part of my body wanted to hurl itself at her, but I stopped myself.
“Come on Myung…you’re a stylist.  Your job is to make us celebrities look good.  Besides…I told you. Today is going to be life-changing day.  Jiyong’s going to propose to me.” She flicks her hair again.

I THINK IM GOING TO EXPLODE.
“Fine.” I said through gritted teeth.
“Thank you!”  And she walked off with my dress.
After she left, I slammed the door and buried my face in one of the pillows on the bed.
I yelled out a muffled scream and probably cursed everything and anything I knew.

Why did this girl get everything she wanted?!


“Myung?  Myung?  Wake up.  It’s 4…we need to go down for their game show.”
“What? Oh…Right.”
Apparently I fell asleep after I cursed a good amount of people.

“It’s four already?” I asked
“Yes. Come on.  Get your stuff.” Sally said as she pulled me out of bed.
“Do I have to bring anything for the boys and girls?” I asked
“No. But I think you should change.  You’re still wearing what you wore from the airport.”
I was dressed in some black leggings and an oversized shirt.
I looked like a bum.
“Oh. Right.  Hold on for just a minute.”
I ran to my closet, got a white oversized tunic with a big graphic on it and a pair of distressed denim shorts, and went to the bathroom to change.
“Come on!  Let’s go.”
Okay..just brush this bird’s nest…okay.  Good to go.
I grabbed a straw fedora and my bronze sandals and ran after Sally.

“What’s the game show about Sally?  I never got the chance to ask anyone.”
“It’s a stupid couple game that the viewers just love.  Basically…there are going to be 10 guys and 8 girls.  So..it’s Bigbang and 5 other dudes and 3G and 5 other girls.  The whole point of the game is to match them up with the other celebrity.”
“Oh….and what happens afterwards?”
“Nothing.  It’s just a game show.  But Fairy definitely wants to end up with Jiyong.  I think she made it so that Jiyong cannot choose anyone except her.  She also threatened all the other girls not to choose him.”
“She came by today.”
“What?” She looked at me puzzled.
“Yeah.  She came by our room and she asked if I could style her.  And then she took my Michael Kors dress.  The one I was planning on wearing some time.”
“The striped one?”
“Yup.”
“No! She always does that.  She doesn’t like seeing anyone be prettier than her so she goes and sabotages them.”
“She said that Jiyong was to propose to her.”
Sally snorted. “Jiyong would probably be gay than to propose to her.”
“But she is pretty.  And she is famous.  They are a perfect match.”
Sally stopped walking then.
“You don’t get it do you?” She looked at me.
“Jiyong doesn’t care how pretty or talented a girl is.  He doesn’t believe in love.”
“How can someone not believe in love?” I asked Sally.
She sighed and just shook her head.

“Thank goodness you’re here Myung!” Jaeyoung ran over and looked at me if she was going to faint.
“What?  What happened?” I was alarmed.
“One of the 3G girls ripped her skirt during one of the couple games.  I don’t have a spare.  What should we do?”
If you were wearing a skirt, why would you do something to rip it?
Goodness.
“Okay. Don’t worry.  Where is she?”
Jaeyoung pointed to one of the girls sitting down with her face buried in her hands.
As I walked closer I can hear the girls trying to cheer her up.
“It’s okay Amy!  Don’t worry!  I’m sure none of the boys saw anything!  It’s just a minor rip.  Don’t worry.”
Amy is one of the members of 3G.  She is actually the only one who’s normal.  Too bad that this industry made her into a .  She’s not really a , but she had to wear y clothes even if she had a baby face.
“Amy?” I knelt down in front of her.
Her face came out from her hands and I can see that her crying ruined her makeup.
“Let’s go to the restroom.  I’ll fix your skirt.”
She nodded and she let me lead her to the restroom.
She kept on crying all the way to the bathroom so I had to continuously tell her that everything was going to be okay.
“Okay Amy.  Take off your skirt.”
“What?  I have nothing to wear then.”
“Just take it off.  I’m not letting you out with a ripped skirt.
She took off her skirt and handed it to me.
“Oh…it’s just a little rip in the back.  No one could have seen anything.  Don’t worry.” I reassured her.
For a girl that needed to wear y clothes, she was too worried about the boys seeing her underwear.
“But-But.” She sniffled.
“Shhh.” I said.

The rip wasn’t that bad.  The good thing is that it ripped on the seam.  This would be easy to fix.

I sewed up the seam and hem and changed the back part to have a little ruffle just so there would be added security.
“Try it now.” I handed the skirt to her
She tried it on and twirled around in the mirror.
“It’s perfect!  And it’s not even that tight anymore!  How did you do it?” She marveled.
Working as an assistant under an editor-in-chief who expected you to know everything became helpful.
“Just an old trick that was up my sleeve.”
Amy hugged me tight.  “Thank you so much! I owe you!”

Then we both walked over to the set and they began filming.
I watched from aside and I can tell that it was really scripted.
The Bigbang boys were nothing that I knew of.
They were all laughing, showing off their skills, and trying to seduce the ladies.
The girls showed their stuff and tried to seduce the men as well.
After a while, it kind of got repetitive so I decided to walk along the beach since the set was right next to it.

The beach was nice.  The sand was nice and warm and the water was so blue.
This was definitely paradise.
I could walk here all day.
I wonder what time it was….
Oh shoot.  I didn’t bring my cell phone.

Ohhhh.
The sun is setting.
How beautiful.
Back in America I would always go to the beach and watch the sunset.
This was marvelous.

“What are you doing here alone?” A voice called out behind me.
I swiftly turned around, alarmed.
“Oppa?”
Jiyong stood behind me with an eyebrow raised.
“Oh…I was just watching the sunset.  I missed the sunset on the beach in America.”
I turned around to look at the sun again.
He stood by me.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
Wait a minute.
Rewind.
What is he doing here?
Isn’t there a game show going on?

“Why are you here?  What about the game show?” I asked
“The game show recording is done for today. And I’m here because I want to.” He said.
Good answer.  This wasn’t my beach.  He can be here if he wanted to.
Why he’s still here with me.  I’m not to sure….but whatever.
I took a seat on the sand and he did so as well.
The wind was blowing and it was pretty chilly.
I guess he took the hint that I was cold and he started to take off his cardigan.
I put up a hand.
“No. Thank you.”
He stopped taking his cardigan off and put it back on.
“You’re not cold?” He asked after a while
“I am.  But I like the cold.” I said.
It was true.  Even when I was Amelie, I loved the clean crisp cold.  It made me feel alive and awake.
He started to chuckle a little.
I looked at him a little puzzled.
But he ignored me and looked at the sun.

Then I just shrugged it off and looked at the amazing sun as well.

After we watched the sunset go away, Jiyong got up from where we were sitting.
“Let’s go.  They’re probably waiting for us.”
He stood up and gave out a hand for me to grab.
I didn’t grab it of course.
How could I?
I ignored the hand and got up myself.
Jiyong just smirked and turned around to leave.
I followed him and soon enough we were in the hotel.
Jiyong turned around then.
“We’re having a dinner party at 8.  Dress appropriately.” And he looked me up and down.
Why that arrogant bastard.
How dare he look at a lady that way?
Fine.  I will dress appropriately to this stupid dinner thing.

---

I went in to the room and saw Sally already getting ready.
“Myung! Where were you?  I was looking all over for you.”  Sally grabbed both of my shoulders.
“Sally…do you HAVE to wear a too-big dress?” I changed the subject.
I was getting tired of Sally covering her body rather than showing it.  She was a tall and beautiful woman.  She shouldn’t be afraid to show off her assets.
“Yes.  I have a severe love handle problem.” She whined.
“Whatever.  Try this.” I handed her a black skintight dress that I had.
“This?  You’ve got to be kidding me.” She said as she held the dress up.
“Go ahead.  Try it.” I said and crossed my arms.
She let out a sigh and went into the restroom.
She came back out.
And let me just say…
WOW.
SHE WAS A HOTTIE WITH A BODY.
She was covering all of her wonderful curves under those baggy clothes.  I mean, I loved oversized clothing too, but she wore it on an everyday basis.
“Sally.  You look stunning.”
“Myung.  You are right.  I feel pretty uncomfortable wearing this dress, but I look good.”
“I told you.  I am never wrong in my fashion opinions.” I boasted.
“Come on.  You have to get ready too.”
She walked on over to my closet and pulled out my open back silk Donna Karen dress.
It was a light tan/olive color that hung loosely with a folded open back.
Good choice.  Casual but dressy.
“Ohhh.. I like.” I said.
I put the dress on and waved my hair slightly to frame my face.
“You look fabulous Myung.”
“Right back at you Sally.”
We both giggled.
I grabbed my Christian Louboutins.
We linked arms and went out to the dinner party.

“Do you know where the party is at?” I asked.
“No…I’m not too sure, but Top and Daesung said that they would us there.” Sally answered.

We went to the lobby and we saw Top and Daesung dressed handsomely in summer suits.
“You guys look good.” I said.
Daesung gave his arm out for me.
“You look very pretty yourself.”
I smiled and thanked him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Jiyong-hyung said that he reserved us a spot at the dinner show a little walk down from here.” Daesung answered.

Does Jiyong know everything?
Maybe he owns Bora Bora too.

We walked down, and the roads were beautifully lit with tiki lamps.

“Good evening, your company is already waiting for you.” The hostess said and led us to a large table overlooking the beach.
It was homey feeling with wooden tables and chairs and decorated all around with flowers and plants.
On the opposite side of the beach, across our table, was a stage that I figured was for the show.
“Here you go.” Daesung pulled out the chair for me.
“Thank you.” I said pretending to be a high and important woman.
He sat down between me and Sally.  Sally sat next to Top.
Seungri sat on my other side, Taeyang sat in front of Seungri, and yup, you guessed it, Jiyong sat in front of me with Fairy right by his side.

I was getting used to seeing Jiyong and interacting with him against my will, so my heart didn’t stop as much.
“Dude!  Did you guys order yet? I’m starving.” Top said.
“Yeah we did.” Jiyong answered.
He looked so…nice today.

He had a loose v-neck shirt with a vest over.  He looked casual and I suddenly felt a little too overdressed. His hair wasn’t styled, but it wasn’t under a cap or beanie this time either.
I guess I was staring at him a little too long, because I soon realized that he was looking at me too.
I looked immediately down and pretended I was very busy…with the napkin.

Everyone else was all talking about how their day went and how the game show went, but I didn’t say anything.  I actually couldn’t look up in general because my face was beet red.
I was wrong about my heart not stopping as much
It was going faster than ever.
“Yeah!  The food is here!” Daesung shouted.
A row of waiters approached us with heaping plates of meats, vegetables, and fruits.
I started to salivate.

As the waiters put down the food on the table, everyone started to pass around and dig in to their food.
“Here noona.” Seungri said as he gave me a serving of everything.
“Aww…thanks sweetie.” I said to Seungri while rubbing his back.
Seungri started to blush and cleared his throat.
He was only one year younger than me, but I felt that he was so much younger.  

We all exchanged conversation and were eating the delicious meal, when the show came on.
Performers in pacific wear came out with fireballs and sticks and the women were dancing with their hips.  It reminded me of the hula, but it was slightly different, though I cannot put my finger on what it was.
It was so much fun, I was getting a little carried away.
“WWWOOOO!” I yelled out while the performers started to do tricks.
Finally towards the end of the show, the performers started to spread out and approach different tables.  They started to bring up certain people from the audience and put them on the stage.
A performer approached our table and started to grab Sally and the 3G girls.
“No!  I don’t want to go” Fairy declined.
Then the performer came over to me “Come on Lady!  Let’s Party!” He grabbed my hand.
Why not?  I’m not going to be in Bora Bora all the time.  Might as well have the time of my life.
I stood up and followed his lead to the stage.
A bunch of people including me were on the stage now and the lady performers started to teach us the traditional dance.
I definitely felt that dance in my hips and stomach.
It was a cross between belly dancing and the hula.
After the song was over, we all went back to our seats.
“Oh my goodness.  That was so much fun” I said, face bright with laughter.
“You know how to work it Noona!” Seungri said.
“HAhaha. Thank you!” I answered back.
DAesung gave me a high five.

Today was such a good day.
I’m loving my vacation here.
So what if Jiyong had a girlfriend.
So what if Fairy still had my Michael Kors dress on.
So what if he was to propose to her.
I should still enjoy my stay here.

“Everyone I have an announcement!” Fairy stood up now.
She looked good in my dress.  Damn her and her mile legs!
Everyone got quiet and listened to what she was to say.
“Jiyong and I are to be officially together today. Please congratulate us!”  She said as she looked at Jiyong.
He wasn’t looking at her.  He was looking at me.

What do you want from me?  I thought when he was looking at me.
But for a split second, he looked as if he was crying for help.  Soon after he looked back down and started to play with his leftover food.
Sally coughed out loud, and Daesung stopped eating.
Everyone was frozen and stood still.  They were waiting for what was going to happen next.
“So…aren’t you guys going to congratulate us?” Fairy said.
No one said anything.
“Congratulations.”  I said.
I was the first to say it, even if I didn’t mean it.
Above all, despite me wanting to have Jiyong, I wanted Jiyong to be happy.  Maybe he would be happy with this perfect girl.  After all, they were a match made in heaven.
Everyone looked at me shocked and even Sally looked at me with a ‘I-cant-believe-this-is-happening’ face.
“Thank you Myung.  I am so glad that you would be the first to congratulate us.”  She said to me condescendingly.

I didn’t really know where that came from because I was always so good to her.  I even made her borrow my stupid dress.  That dress is freaking expensive!  Why would I want it to be on the likes of her.  Yeah…it may look better on her, but still.
Top was the next to talk.
“Is it true Jiyong?  Are you really with her now?” He looked frustrated.
Jiyong didn’t say anything.
“Hyung! What about Amelie!  You said that you couldn’t forget her.  You said that you would find her after our album promotions were over.” Seungri was yelling now.
“I can’t believe you would do that to her Hyung!  She was so good to you.  You changed for the better because of her.  All of our songs were about her.  We all knew that, but we didn’t say anything because it is your private life.  But I guess it was all for show huh?”
“Seungri…calm down. I said as I grabbed his arm to help him sit down.
“Myung.  Stay out of this.” Seungri said.

The tension was rising, yet Jiyong still didn’t say anything.
Fairy was even furious after she found out that all of the songs on the album were about a past love.

Jiyong finally spoke up.
“Fairy…let’s go.”  He stood up and left.
Fairy still furious, but glad that Jiyong chose her to leave with him, left.

All of us numb wit the news just stood there and didn’t do anything.
“Come on guys.  Let’s go too. We have a long day tomorrow.  We should get some rest.” I said to cheer up the mood.
“Jiyong changed so much.” Taeyang finally said.
Taeyang knew Jiyong the longest, ever since they were in the 6th grade, they were buddies.
Taeyang shook his head and left.
The other girls followed behind soon after and then the rest of us left.

“I can’t believe that jerk!” Sally was yelling inside the hotel room.
She kicked off her shoes and started to fumble out of the skintight dress.
“I can’t believe him.  All this time I thought that he didn’t care about the looks of a girl, but I guess he does.  He only looks at that.” Sally started to choke up.
She slumped herself on the bed and started to cry.
I sat next to her and started to rub her shoulders.
“I’m sure it’s not that. He probably just wants to move on.  He has to live.  We can’t blame him.  It’s his life.  Let him do what he wants to do.”
I said this to cheer Sally up but I felt the same way Sally did.
Betrayed.
I knew that I was being selfish, but all the encounters I had with him, deep down, I actually liked.
I loved the way he smelled, the way he dressed, the way he carried himself, the way he drove me home, the way he would do small things for me.
“But Myung!  Why her!  She is a complete fake!  Doesn’t he know that?” Sally stopped crying.
“Come on.  Let’s wash up.”  I took her to the bathroom and she started to wash her face.
Sally didn’t say anything, in fact, she was completely drained.  I helped her to bed.

Sally was in love with Jiyong too.
Probably just as much or even more than I was.
Poor girl.
All this time she was telling herself that Jiyong doesn’t believe in love.
Maybe something happened.


I couldn’t go to sleep for some odd reason.

Maybe it was because of what happened at dinner, or the fact that I realized it was kind of officially over between me and him.
I couldn’t stand the constrictions of the room and I went out quietly to the balcony on the top floor.

Maybe some fresh air would help me get some sleep.

The view was perfect from the balcony. You didn’t really see anything, but the smell of the sea and sound of the ocean was really all it took.  It relaxed me a little bit, too much actually, because I didn’t realize someone was already there on the other side.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Jiyong asked as he took a spot next to me.

He was talking like nothing happened a couple of hours ago.
“Yeah.”  I wasn’t looking at him and looked far out at the sea.
“Why?  Are you going to give me the cold shoulder too?”  He asked.
I was alarmed by his question.  I wasn’t giving him the cold shoulder.
“What are you talking about?  I was the first one to congratulate you guys.”  I huffed.
He smiled and then frowned.
“I’m sorry.”

I didn’t know why he was apologizing.  It wasn’t his fault that he found love.  It was mine for not being able to forget him yet.

I didn’t answer him.  I just continued to look out towards the sea, wishing I were in that water having a good time.
“Here.”  He took off his jacket and put it around my shoulders.
“I don’t need this.”  I proceeded to take off the jacket.
“No.  Just keep it on.  Sometimes you need to stop pretending to be strong and lean on someone.”  He said as he held on tight to both of my shoulders.
What was he saying?

I turned around to face him now, not quite sure of what he was saying.
He smiled and said, “A girl once told me that a girl only pretends to be cold to get the jacket of a man, but the man doesn’t care whether or not she wants it.  He just wants to give his jacket to her.” He looked at me with piercing eyes as if trying to tell me something.

I said that.
I said that when we first had a real talk with each other on the balcony 3 years ago.

I missed that so much.
It was all so complicated now.  It wasn’t fresh, it was me holding on to the past.
I wanted all of this to be over.

Tears started to roll down from my face without my knowing.
“Hey.” He said as he wiped my tears away.
I turned away from him.
I was not to cry in front of him
He turned me towards him.
“I don’t know if you care, but I have to tell you.” He paused and pulled my chin up to make eye contact.
“I am not in love with Fairy. I’m in love with someone else.  Someone that I have been in love with for a very long time.” His gaze was piercing and yearning for something.
He let go and cursed under his breath.

I just stood there wondering who he was talking about.
Was he talking about me?
Amelie?

If it is, this can’t go on.
I need to stop.  He needs to stop.
I’m no longer Amelie.
I’m Myung.

“Sally is heartbroken you know.” I changed the subject.
He laughed.
“It’s not a laughing matter.  She fell asleep crying for you.” I said in a very alarmed tone.
He still smiled.
“She’s not in love with me.” He whispered.
“Then why would she be crying over you?” I said angry that he had no sympathy for Sally.
He scooted in closer
“She’s my cousin.  Whatever she said she was probably over reacting.  She has a major crush on Top hyung…everyone knows that.”
“But-“
She was so angry that Fairy was with him.
“She may have been jealous, but it’s because she wants me to date a good girl.  Not someone like Fairy.” He said reassuringly.

So Sally is his cousin.  She is not in love with Jiyong.  Why was she crying?
I was completely lost.
I need a talk with Sally.

I went back to the subject before.
“Who were you in love with?” I asked ringing my fingers together.
He didn’t say anything for a while, then he said,
“A girl that showed me love.”
“Wow.  That must be some great girl.” I snorted.  I was kind of jealous that someone would be so incredible to him.
“So you never met someone that showed you love?” He asked
“I fell in love with someone…a long time ago.” I paused.
I don’t know if I should say that I still am in love with this person.
“And I still love him very much.”
Despite my efforts of trying to forget about him.
A tear fell down again.
I promised myself not to cry, but I couldn’t help it.
I was about to explode.

Here this man was that I fell in love with 3 years ago, and now he tells me that he doesn’t like Fairy, and there is even a chance that he is in love with Amelie.
ME.
Kind of.

“That guy must be very lucky to have such a girl to love him so much.”
I looked up at his face scanning to see if he realizes that this man is him.
But of course he doesn’t know.
He can’t.

I wanted to kiss him, hold him in my arms, tell him that I love him deeply, but instead I stood up.
I took of the jacket and handed it to him.
“I’ve got to go.  I need some sleep.”
I walked away and was at the balcony door, when he yelled
“Remember what I said!”
I turned around, confused with what he was talking about.
He flashed a smile.

I opened the door and left.

What was he talking about?
“Remember what I said!”

Remember what?
That part where he said that I should lean on someone?
The part that he was in love with a woman and still is now?
Which part?
And why was I to remember?
It didn’t have to do with me.
Why would I have to care about whether or not he was in love with someone else?
He wasn’t in love with me.
And that is the only thing that mattered to me.
Whatever.
There is no point in thinking about it.

But what I do remember is to ask Sally if she was really related to Jiyong.

------


“Myung! Wake up!  Let’s go get some breakfast.”  Sally said as she was shaking me.
“Five more minutes.” I mumbled.
“No!  We are having a breakfast with everyone.  You can’t get out of this one.  And besides, we need to see if what happened yesterday is really true.”
I got up and rubbed my eyes.
It’s 8 in the morning.  I’m on vacation for goodness sake.
“I don’t really care about Jiyong and Fairy.” I said.
This was completely untrue, but I was too tired to care.
“Come on!” She pulled me out of bed.

“Sally…can I ask you something?” I asked as I turned around to Sally.
“Yes?”  Her eyes bright with anticipation.
“Are you in love with Jiyong?” I asked Sally.
She looked at me bewildered and then she did something I did not expect.
She burst into laughter.  She was rolling on the floor and everything.
“Uhh….am I missing out on a joke or something?  My question is serious.” I said with my arms crossed
“Oh..sorry” She was tearing up from so much laughter.
“It’s just that you just asked me if I was in love with Jiyong.” She said.
“Yes.  And?”
“He’s my COUSIN, Myung.” Sally said.

So what Jiyong was saying is true?
What?

Sally continued, “I don’t know why you would think I was in love with Jiyong.  I love my cousin, but not in that way.”
“But…you were crying over him yesterday.”
“I was crying for him, not over him.  I was angry that he would stoop that low and get with someone like her.  All my life I knew Jiyong as a good guy. I actually thought that he didn’t care about a girl’s looks, but I was proven wrong.  I even remember he said something about how he felt that he was really in love with someone he met.  I think it was around…3? 4? Years ago.  I was angry.”
“I…I thought that you were in love with him all this time.” I said trailing off.
“no.  Don’t you know that I have the biggest crush on Top?”
“Yeah…but I thought.”
“whatever. Let’s go get some breakfast.”
She threw me some clothes.
“Let’s go.  I don’t want you thinking that ever again.” She shuttered.  
“That is just disgusting.” She shuttered again.


I wore the distressed boyfriend jeans and plain v-neck shirt that Sally threw at me
I tied up my hair and wore a pair of glasses to hide my swollen eyes from yesterday.
Sally was wearing her oversized shirt and pants again.  She looked like a hip hop artist from the 90s.
We were to have breakfast at the hotel restaurant downstairs.
It was buffet style and I was completely hungry
“This looks so good.” I said and grabbed a plate.
I started to load food on my plate, heavily excited to eat.
“Myung!  Over here!” Top shouted over to me at a table.
I walked on over with my loaded plate of food.
“Hey you guys.  Good morning!” I said with a smile.
I sat myself down next to Top.
“I never knew you wore glasses.” Top said
“Yeah… I don’t usually, but my eyes were slightly swollen yesterday.” I said
“Cried?” he asked.
“No.”

Well I may have cried a little…
Okay fine.  I cried.  But I’m not going to tell that to Top.  No one is to know about how I feel.

“Whatever.” He shrugged.
I started eating massively, only concentrated on my food.
“You eat like a pig, Myung.”
That voice.
I looked up and I see Fairy giving me a disgusted look.
“How can you eat that much?  Don’t you want to watch your figure?” She said.
“At that rate, you’re going to be a little fatty.”

Wow.
I haven’t noticed, but I didn’t get a fat joke for a very long time.
I can’t let this chance slip me by.
“I really don’t give a .” I shot back.
“Your loss.  No one’s going to like you if you’re going to be fat like that.” She said again.
“At least I’m not a immature that still comments on people’s looks.” I said coolly.
I’m seriously getting sick and tired of her.
I was nice to her all this time.
Yet she still annoys the out of me.

Everyone started hollering after my comment.

“Oppa!  Can you even believe her?  She called me a !  She treats me so horribly honey!” She said to Jiyong who was on her side.
That !
She’s going to play that game.
Hell no.
I was here enjoying my food and having a good time, and she has to ruin it by lying to Jiyong.
F to the No.
I stood up ready to pull her eyes out, but Jiyong beat me to it.
“Fairy, you are a .”
“What?” Everyone said in unison.
Sally burst into laughter.
“I knew it!  I knew you wouldn’t like someone like her Jiyong.” Sally said contently.
I was just in shock.
“Oppa!  How can you say that?”
“Fairy.  I already told you to stop calling me oppa.  You’re older than me.  And it’s true.  You’re selfish.  You only think about yourself.” He said matter-of-factly.

Fairy was shaking with anger.  She swiftly turned around and left.

“Dude.  What just happened?  Yesterday you guys announced that you guys are together and now you are….not?” Top asked.
“That was just Fairy being Fairy.  I even left with her during our dinner yesterday to tell her that I didn’t think of her that way.” Jiyong said nonchalantly.  He seemed pretty happy.
“Jiyong.  Don’t ever do that again.  For a moment I started to think that you became a jerk.” Sally said.
“I heard that you cried for me.” Jiyong said with a smirk.
“Myung!”  Sally yelled at me.
“Sorry.” I shrugged.
“Wait.  How did you know about it?  It was after the dinner.  Did you guys meet up afterwards?” Sally gave me an eyebrow.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I saw her trying to be all emo at the balcony and conversation ended up with her thinking that you were in love with me.” Jiyong said.
“God.  Myung.” Sally said. “Must you give your wrong opinions to others?”  She rolled her eyes at me, then smiled.
She continued.
“So…what else did you guys talk about?”  She gave us an eyebrow.

I was completely silent.  I didn’t want anyone to know that I was in love with Jiyong, so I kept my mouth shut.
Jiyong obviously not wanting to talk about it as well, left the table and went to the buffet table for some food.
Sally turned her attention towards me.
“Hm?  Myung?  What did you guys talk about?” She said, her head propped on her hand on the table.
“We….didn’t talk about much.  Just like…how cold the weather was…and stuff.”  I nodded reassuringly.
Top and Sally exchanged looks and just shrugged.
I guess they figured that they won’t be getting anymore than that.
We all started to eat again, and Jiyong came back and joined us.
Top broke the silence, “So what’s our schedule for today?”
“There is still one more shooting of the game show and then after that you guys are pretty much free.” Hyungman said.
“Awesome.  I was getting sick of that game.” Daesung said.
“What should we do noona?” Seungri asked
“We?” I asked.
“Yes.  Let’s go somewhere together.” Seungri said.
“Myung has a date with me.” Top said.
Everyone looked at Top and then at me.
“What? I do?” I said surprised.
Sally looked like she was about to cry.
“You promised me that you were going to spend a day with me.” Top said with a grin.
“But-“

Sally likes Top.  I can’t go on a date with Top.
That is against the rule of friendship.
Besides, I don’t like Top like that.

“Don’t worry.  Everyone else is going too.” Top said reassuringly.
“You just promised to hang out with me for at least a day, so this is where you are obligated to hang out with us because you promised.” Top said.
Whew.
For a moment there I thought I was going to have to do an awkward rejection.
Sally looked 10 times better after Top said that.
“YAY!  Noona, you have to come with us now.  Top said so.” Seungri said.
“Come on Myung.  It won’t be that bad hanging out with us.” Taeyang finally spoke up.
Jiyong was just watching this happening without saying anything.

“Fine.  But I get to decide where we are going.” I said.


It was the last part of the game show where the couples get to decide to stay “in love” or “break up”.  Obviously it is heavily scripted and no one except Fairy took this seriously, but I couldn’t help but get in it.
It was a partnership that was building, and then the partners have to decide if it’s really meant to be.
If I was in that position I wouldn’t know what to do.  Even if it was a game show.
Stay with him?
Break up with him?

The hostess started to talk to the camera
“Fairy. It is time to give your rose to your lover that you choose.  Would you choose your original partner G-Dragon?  Or would a new love come around?”
Fairy looked around and started to walk towards the line of men standing across from her.
She walked on over to the guys and circled around for a bit.
Finally she landed in front of Jiyong.
Jiyong held a smile and thanked her for the rose.
The hostess started to speak again.
“Now will G-Dragon complete the match by giving his necklace to Fairy?  Or will he give it to another girl?”
G-Dragon still held that smile on his face.
What did it mean??

I looked over to Fairy and can see that she looked pretty self-confident that Jiyong will give her the necklace.
Jiyong took out the necklace then.
It was a small heart pendant on a thin chain.
It looked very delicate.
Like love.

“G-Dragon?  Your choice is?” The hostess asked
Jiyong walked on over the girls’ side and walked back and forth in front of them.
He looked like he was contemplating a little and then he gave the necklace to….

Amy?

Amy looked completely surprised and Fairy looked furious.
Amy gladly accepted the necklace, but she was completely lost.  She didn’t know why he would give the necklace to her.
I was completely confused as well.  I pretty much was watching the whole game, but there was no interaction between Jiyong and Amy.
But maybe there was.
Maybe.
Then it happened.

Jiyong whispered something to Amy.
“What is this?  Jiyong is whispering something into Amy’s ear?  What are you saying G-dragon?”  the hostess said.

What was he saying?

Then Amy started to tear up with happy tears.
“It must be something very sweet, Amy looks like she’s on top of the world right now”  The hostess said.

Amy?  And Jiyong?
Was she the girl that Jiyong told me yesterday night that he was in love with?
Amy and Jiyong were in the same agency and Amy was there for more than 5 years.
There can be a chance that they were a couple.
…..
While I was deciphering this in my head, I couldn’t help but feel betrayed and a little disappointed.
I know it was stupid of me, but I thought for a little bit that the incredible girl was me.
Me.
Not
Her.

“Amy will you give back your love to G-dragon?”  
Amy walked on over to Jiyong with a smile on her face and gave him her rose.
They both bowed and they became a couple.

The game shortly ended after that.  I didn’t really care about the other couples and after what happened between Jiyong and Amy I wasn’t really paying attention.
Sally walked on over to me then.
“Myung.  The game is over.  Let’s get all the stuff back into the hotel.  We have to go shopping remember?  That’s what you wanted to do for the day.”
Sally shook my arm
“What?  Oh right.  Sorry.” I guessed I was dazing off.
I stood up from the sand and walked alongside Sally with all of our equipment.


Forget about it, Myung.
It’s better this way.
What if Jiyong really was in love with you?
With Amelie?
What would you do then?
Would you tell him that you’re Amelie?
Would you start your love with him all over again?
Wasn’t it your mission to forget about him?
Wasn’t it your mission to not get a broken heart again?

Yes.
But I can’t help but feel this way.
This feeling of depression


-----

“Come on Myung!  Have a bright face!  We are doing something that you love!  WE are shopping!  I’m sure we can find some cute things for you at Bora Bora.”  Sally said with her arm around me shoulders.
Sally wasn’t so sure to why I was a little down, but she tried very hard to cheer me up.
“Okay.  Bright face on.”  I said with a smile.
“Good.”  Sally said.
“So…you deciding where we go…was shopping?” Top asked.
“Yes.  Shopping is my hobby and skill.”
“Okay…”

We were waiting for the tour guide to come pick us up in his van.
Then Top yelled out over to somebody.
“Hey!  Jiyong!  Come with us!”
Jiyong was across the street from the hotel.  He looked like he was going off somewhere.
He looked on over to our side and crossed the street towards us.
“Where are you guys going?” He asked.
I looked down at the ground not wanting to keep eye contact with him.
“Myung wanted to go shopping.  Come with us.” Daesung said.
“Yeah Hyung.  You like to shop too.”  Seungri added.
“Dude.  Jiyong let’s just go.”  Taeyang said.

“Alright.”  Jiyong said.
Everyone was kind of surprised at first (including me) that he would say yes so easily.  Most of the time he wanted to be by himself, but now it seems as if he was on a happier mood.
Then the car came and we all hopped inside.

The little boutiques that were lined up reminded me of straw huts.
They were very small, but it matched very well with the atmosphere.
We thanked the tour guide and started to walk along the sidewalk where the boutiques are.
“Ohhh…Let’s go in here!” Seungri said, pointing at a store with wooden dolls inside.
“There is no point in going there.  That is just a waste of money.” Taeyang said.
“Please?  Noona, you would go in there with me right?” Seungri gave me a pair of puppy eyes.
“Of course.” I said.

So the shopping basically went something like that.
It was the boys, Sally, and me.
Finally we went into a clothes store that had traditional island clothes and jewelry.
“This is so cute!”  I said as I was looking at a bracelet.
“Ohh..yeah that is.” Sally said while examining the bracelet.
“How much is it?” She questioned.
We looked at the tag and it said $100.
“What? For a bracelet?” Sally said.
“Well…if you think about it…it’s not that bad.”
“What’s up?” Top came over with Daesung.
“Myung is thinking about buying a hundred dollar bracelet.” Sally said disapprovingly
“It’s not that expensive” I said.
“It’s not worth it Myung” Top said.
“But…I want it.” I said.

I went over to the cashier and paid for the bracelet.
Jiyong approached me then.
“Does money grow on trees for you?” He asked.
“No.  I just buy what I want to buy.  I didn’t get this privilege when I was younger.” I said.
“When you were in America.”
“Yes….wait.  How did you…”
“Know what.”
“That I lived in the US.”
“Everyone knows that.”
“Oh. Right.”
“But that bracelet is a little too expensive you know.” He reiterated.
“I don’t care.  I don’t have to pinch pennies anymore.  Don’t you remember that time when I fought with that crazy man-“
.
I said too much.
He was bound to know who I am now.
“Crazy man?”
“Nothing. Sally?” I ran over to Sally pretending to be very busy.

I hope he doesn’t find out that I’m actually Amelie.

“Did you call me, Myung?” Sally asked as I was running over to her.
“Oh..uh…nothing.” I said.

She gave me an eyebrow and just proceeded to look around the store.
I was too afraid to look back and see if Jiyong was still there so I just pretended I was fascinated at what Sally was looking at.

Personally, I really couldn’t care less.
If he found out that I am Amelie, I don’t know what would happen.
Would he be angry? Disappointed? Happy?


After our store adventure, we all headed back to the hotel.
“Myung.  You bought so much.  I’m pretty sure that you are not going to use half of the stuff that you bought.” Daesung said.
“I don’t care.  I wanted to buy it, so I did.” I said proudly.

Before I landed this job as a stylist and became a panel member for a fashion t.v. show, I rarely had money.
I lived off of my roommate, spent the only money that I have on designer clothes that were on sale, and bargained and haggled over food.
I was a poor student that had dreams of being rich.

Now that I was, there was no turning back.
I am going to do my best to enjoy my riches.
“You have to enjoy life.” I said.
“But don’t you think that you overspend a little?” Top asked.
“Maybe.” I smiled.
I probably did spend too much on things that were not necessary, but it’s retail therapy.
Jiyong just looked at me skeptically.  He just shook his head.
I was slightly puzzled to why he would shake his head like that, but I guess it was because of my spending.

Oh well.
I don’t care.
Maybe a little.

-----

“I can’t believe today is our last day here.  I love it here.  No worries, sunny weather, calm and cool surroundings….I don’t want to leave.” I told Sally while I was sprawled on the bed.
I looked up at the hotel ceiling, thinking about what happened all here.

I got pretty close to Jiyong from this vacation.
I became very close with Sally.
And I think I’m not in that great of a pain as I was before.
I accepted the fact that Jiyong moved on (with Amy) and I realized that I needed to move on as well.

Overall, this vacation helped me reflect a lot about myself.

“We all don’t want to leave, but we have to get back to reality.  We got to get back to work.” Sally said motherly.
“You’re right.”
“Let’s start packing.” Sally said as she stood up from the bed.

We packed our clothes back into our luggage bags, but then I realized I was missing the dress Fairy took from me a few days ago.
“.”
“What?”
“Fairy still has my Michael Kors dress.”
“I can go get it for you if you want to.” Sally suggested.
“No.  I’ll go.  I probably need to patch up some things with Fairy.”

I left the hotel room and knocked on Fairy’s door.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me, Myung.” I said
After a while the door opened.
“What do you want?” Fairy scowled.
“I’m here to get the dress back?” I said.
“Oh. The dress.” She smirked.
“Hold on a moment.” She closed the door and she came back out with a ….

Ripped up piece of fabric?!
“What have you done to my dress?” I shrieked.
“Oh.  I don’t know.  I accidently put some scissors through it to tailor it, but then it just ripped to shreds.  It happened after the breakfast.  I don’t know how that happened.” She said as if she really didn’t know why my dress was no longer a dress.
I was completely speechless.
I understand why she would hate my guts, but ruining a fabulous dress was out of the line.
I didn’t even know what to say because no one in her right mind would ruin a perfectly good dress.

I just wanted to kill her.
Right there.
Right here.
Right now.

“I’m really busy Myung.  I have to go.”  And with that she closed the door in front of my face.

There will be pay back.
For my dress’s honor.

No one ruins a Michael Kors dress and gets away with it.
She will be destroyed.

I huffed back to my hotel room and banged open the door.
I was so angry that I was shaking.
I started to shove everything back into my suitcase not saying a word.
“Is something wrong Myung?  Did something happen while you were at Fairy’s?” Sally said worriedly.
“Look.”  
That’s all it took to show Sally what happened to my gorgeous dress that I bought especially for this vacation.  The dress that I didn’t even get a chance to wear at all.
She shrieked too.
And then she fumed
“What the was she thinking?  If she was mad at you then she should ruin you, not the dress!”

I didn’t even say anything.
“She is so going to get it.  I’m going to give her a piece of my mind.” She stood up.
But then I stopped her.
I’m not so sure why I stopped her, but I realized that by going over there and kicking her wouldn’t help at all.
She was an immature woman, and I shouldn’t stoop as low as she did.
“No.  Don’t.”
“Don’t play angel right now Myung.  This is in need of major payback.”
“No.”
She sat back down and looked at me.
“Fine.  But I don’t understand why you would just leave her like that.  I would have already killed her off.”
“It’s fine.” I said.
It really wasn’t fine, but still.  She wasn’t even worth my time and energy.
But if the time came, maybe I might just take my revenge.


“Goodbye Bora Bora!  I promise to come back to you some day!”  I said as I waved to the hotel and beaches.
“Bora Bora was fun wasn’t it?”  Seungri said.
“I loved it!” Daesung added.
WE finally arrived to the airport and I was starting to feel a little sad for leaving such a wonderful place.
“Don’t worry noona, I’m sure you’ll come back.” Seungri said.
“I hope so.”
Then Hyungman finally spoke up.
“Okay…here are all of the tickets, give me all of your bags and I will go and put them in.”  
We all gave our luggage to Hyungman and he went to the lady behind the desk.

“Myung? Let’s go.  Hyungman finished.”
“okay.”
WE linked arms and walked towards the gate to the plane.

Goodbye Bora Bora.
I turned back before finally entering the plane.

I sat in my designated seat and opened the window to see the last glimpses of my short paradise.
I didn’t even pay attention to the person sitting next to me.
“Did you like this place that much?” A voice asked
“Yes.” I said dreamingly

.  Jiyong.
Okay.  I said that we got close, but it wasn’t like friends or anything.  It was more of….a….coworker alliance.
He smiled.
I turned around and faced him.
But all of a sudden he stopped smiling and looked away.

What was that all about?
I turn around and smile at him back because he smiles at me and then he just neglects it and looks away?
Whatever.
I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes.
Then he put something in my ear.
And then a flow of music came on.
I opened my eyes and looked at him.
He had a slight grin on, but his eyes were covered with his red beanie.

Whatever.
But my heart couldn’t help but flutter.
Just a little.
Okay.
Maybe a lot, but it was controllable now.

The song this time was a mixture of R&B and Hip hop.
It reminded me of the times I was in California and I would just drive with this kind of music blasting from my car.
I smiled a little feeling a little homesick.

Then a hand slipped to my side and poked me on the shoulder.
What the hell?
“Psst.  Myung!”
I shifted my head a little towards the voice and realized that it was Sally behind my seat.
“You guys are already at it?  The plane didn’t even lift yet.”
I whispered back to her. “What are you talking about?  We are just sharing music.”
I couldn’t help but blush just a little.
“Don’t you know what it means when you share earphones with someone?  It means that they want to be in one world with you.” Sally gushed.  She started to giggle a little.
“Shut up Sally.  He can hear.  Nothing is happening.  Stop bothering me.”  I face forward then and closed my eyes.

Jiyong doesn’t want to share his world with me.
He already moved on.
From the game show he gave the necklace to Amy and whispered something to Amy.

Where was Amy by the way?  She wasn’t sitting next to Jiyong.  I took off the earphone and scanned the plane to see where Amy was.

Wait.  
What is that?

Just then I saw Amy leaning on someone’s shoulder.
“Taeyang Oppa?!” I said outloud.
Then Jiyong opened his eye and smiled.
“Didn’t you know?  Amy and Taeyang had a little thing going on for a while, but they kept it on the down low.” He said
I looked at him, “But you gave your necklace to Amy and Amy gave you her rose.”
“I was doing it for Taeyang.  He wanted to make something memorable while we were at Bora Bora, so he asked me to give the necklace to her and that’s when I whispered to her that it was from Taeyang. Amy replied back with her rose.  They can’t afford a scandal.” He said nonchalantly.  
He put the earphone back into his left ear and closed his eyes again.
I took off his earphone and spoke again,
“But…”
He then looked at me.
“I told you.  I’m already in love with someone else.  It’s not Amy.”
I tried to keep eye contact, but his gaze was so piercing that I looked away.
He leaned back down to the chair and put his earphone on.
“Are you going to listen or what?  If not, I’m going to change them to my headphones.” He said.
I quickly grabbed onto the other earphone and laid down next to him.

For some reason I felt relieved that he didn’t like Amy.
Even if the girl that he was in love with was still not me, at least I didn’t know who this girl was for the time being.
I could fantasize in my mind that it’s me.
I was glad I was leaving Bora Bora now.
At least this way, I can sit next to this man for a few hours.