JI HYO

I don’t know which one is worse, to be fooled by the same person over again or to let yourself get fooled? Either which, I've never felt this stupid before. I mean, I actually gave him a second chance thinking this time it could be different than before. That he did changed for the better. I let myself lose again for someone who had hurt me over, again.

I was hopeful. I was very hopeful that he won’t hurt me the way he did before. The day I agreed for us to date again, he was everything a boyfriend should be, a boyfriend material, they say. I was contented that he was doing his best to pursue me, I was beyond happy to be exact.

The day I went downtown with Joonmyeon to meet up with someone for my graduation dress and just ended up arguing with him. And just deciding to meet with Jimin, the moment I was few steps away from the agreed meeting place. I was so close, but I saw something that was too peculiar and familiar at the same time. I wasn't so sure on what I saw so I just let the thought go. Going back to my previous mood and entered the cafe.

When Jimin actually dragged me going to the stranger guy's party, I was about to tell her my previous encounter the other day. But I don’t want to spoil the moment after telling her that I was getting contented with Chunji minus the butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings. I know her, Jimin will definitely scold me non-stop about giving him my trust again and I'll surely sulk myself for realizing how stupid I am and for not being sure with my own decision. So again, I wasn’t that sure and let the thought go, again.

But now that I was sitting in front of him, contemplating and forcing myself to digest every word he said. I’ve never been this sure. That day it was really him, I assume, that I saw who went out of the bakeshop near the café, with a girl. They were holding each other’s hand like a couple as they crossed the street. Chunji, it was really him after all. Telling him I know about his marriage will somehow be a lie. I wasn’t really that sure about him, it was just a speculation. And now it explains it all, my anxiety a while ago, the grudge I felt before we went here, it was all because of this stupefying reality. I finally confirmed it myself, finally hearing those venomous words coming out from his mouth. He is getting married. So I blurted out,

"I know"

The moment I uttered those words and finally having the confidence to look straight into his eyes, I tried my best to stay calm but remain my stoic facade. His face was priceless maybe he wasn't expecting for me to puzzle things out.

"How'd you know?" He asked, maybe he's confused by now.

"I just figured things out." I answered him without even batting an eye. In all honesty, I have so many questions running in my mind like did he planned all this? Was he tripping on me? Was I that blunt to be fooled like this? Or was there any valid reason why he did this? But nonetheless I didn't waste my time so I finally bid my goodbye but all he could say was a plain sorry. I don' t get why people even say they're sorry. If all things could be mend by a simple sorry then I guess everyone must be that stupid.

I cleared my throat and stand up, strai