“Hongki~ah, are you awake?”

“Hmm…” he sat on the bed. I sat next to him.

“I did it again.” Hongki broke the long silence. “I threw a tantrum again or nothing. Both Minhwan and Seunghyun are wounded because of me. If Hyunnie didn’t jump in front of me, Jonghoon would have been dead. I… I don’t know why I felt so irritated. I wanted to kill him just because he shoved me to the couch.” He covered his face in his hand.

“I got angry for something like that. What if something big happen? I’ll fire the dorm.”

“Don’t even think about it. Something like that won’t happen.”

“You don’t know that. Anything is possible with a metal case like me. The day before yesterday I threw a tantrum. Yesterday, I almost did. And today I did it again. What will happen tomorrow? I can’t… I just can’t be like this. I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want to be a trouble maker. I just don’t want anyone to bother about me. Sympathize me. Look at me like a sick person.-”

“No one’s looking at you as a sick person. They treat you the same. Well, since you are wounded, you’re sick person now. And I’m going to treat you as like that until it heals. Does it still hurt?”

“Yeah, a bit. What hurts me the most is not my head. It is my heart. I’m hurting the ones around me. I’m hurting my loved ones. I’m hurting the ones I never want see them get hurt. Especially by me! Maybe I should go to a rehabilitation center or a mental hospital-”

“There’s no need of that. You don’t have to go to neither. Once you started to take medications you will be a bit controlled. You will not throw tantrums every time or nothing. But you have to try hard to control your anger too. Medications can’t do that solely. You have to try to calm down. Try to think of a thing that makes you happy-”

“Things that make me happy? You want me to think of things that make me happy when I feel like killing someone? Listen to yourself! The only thing I wanted to do is kill him at that ti