I neglect changing the flow last chapter, now i'm paying for it.

 

Enjoy! Welcome to the new subscribers! :))

 

 

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Chapter 21:

 

 Tiffany is being the unusual so silent type of person again today, far from being the bubbliest girl among all. It's been two days and her friends started to be bothered and worried of her. It is uncommon for them to have Tiffany like this as their company. They know that some things are running from Tiffany's mind that made her be deep in her thoughts like that.

 

The girl actually has been thinking of something these past days, the possibilities and the other. The similarities of the two, she don't understand but it seems impossible.

 

Jesse can never be him, he have different point of view in many ways, the opposite of him. Jesse doesn’t believe in 'Maomao' said to her that he even tell her to just forget about him and that he's a coward.

 

"Hey Fany, Let's go to the gym. It's our p.e. period now" Sunny woke Tiffany up from her far long view at the window by a soft nudge in the shoulder.

 

Seeing her classmates get their sports equipment out of the room, Tiffany wandered around and spotted a man who is now struggling to hold four balls in his hand going out.

 

"Kai, wait" Tiffany approaches the guy and helped him by getting two balls for her to carry.

 

"Oh, Thank you Fany" Kai thanked Tiffany as his burden lessened.

 

"Uh Kai, may I have a word with you?" the girl asked as they both walk out heading to the court.

 

"How can i reject it cause you sounded like a teacher who'll reprimand me" Kai chuckled at his statement that causes Tiffany to smile to that. 

 

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After putting up the balls that they brought, they find a way to sneak out from their P.E. class to the cafeteria. Their instructor is not that strict at all.

 

"So what is it teacher?" Kai playfully asked after buying him and Tiffany can of juice and took a seat at the other side of Tiffany.

 

Tiffany took a sip of the juice after Kai opened it, seems like contemplating to ask or not. She stared at the table and heave a deep sigh and look directly at Kai with a little desperate vibe.

 

"How well do you know Jesse?" Tiffany straightforwardly asked Kai. No more introductions, heck, she's been in a battle of thoughts in her mind for days.

 

Of course, Kai was taken aback of Tiffany's bluntness with a very serious tone mixed in it. But nonetheless, he acts calmly.

 

"Well, Jesse and I had known each other for quite some time now, it's like 5 years ago when he shared the apartment with me. Then, everything follows, we got to know one another through the years and that's it" 

 

"Does he tell you his secrets or even his pasts?" Tiffany continues to ask Kai a question.

 

"hmm, at first he's very secretive and distant but what can he do to my charms right?  hehe" Kai realizes where this thing is going and he swear he knows that it isn't right for the girl to know this from him and not from Jesse. It's best to let the two talk about this b themselves than having other people which can cause everything to be worse. He tries to say things lightly and when given a chance, divert this conversation to some other topic.

 

"yeah, and little by little he opened up. Constantly inserting some part of his story in our regular conversations and all and just put the pieces together. He actually would fight with me everyday because you know, we are very different from each other, he's quiet type and I'm the opposite and--" 

 

"Do you even know that he came from the states and he's a fluent english speaker?" Tiffany cut Kai because he started to say things, well you can say that is not important for her confusion right now.

 

Kai is smiling from the inside when he is slowly changing the topic to another one but when Tiffany throws another question, that's when he realizes that he can't get off this topic pretty much. Looking at the very persistent Tiffany, he knows that if he won't end this conversation at this instant, he would end up telling the girl all the things which he is in no place to reveal, 

 

Tiffany received nothing from Kai as an answer, but rather, Kai stood up, closed his eyes and sighed. He then look at Tiffany with a slight smile.

 

"I think I am not the right person, that you should talk about that matter Fany."

 

The girl tore her gaze to the guy and shifted to the table and nod.

 

"Listen, I think you already have some pieces in your mind. Like what I told you earlier, you just need to put them together to get the whole picture or even just a half of it. If you're not satisfied from what you have, investigate more til you're satisfied enough and the most important thing is, lay it down in him and talk to him"

 

With that, Kai left the cafeteria and proceeded back to the gym. Hoping that he gave the right advice to Tiffany.

 

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Kai is right, she might have known the answer for the past days, She have the pieces that she can say that it's really him, but why? Why can't she admit it to herself?

 

Is it because she couldn't come up with a clean answer?

 

That all Jesse's words are very contradicting to every word 'maomao' said?

 

Or the fact that she had grown to like the two very different personalities that it's hard to digest that they are exactly the same person?

 

Or she's just scared to hear the reasons about the truth and the lies said and done to her?

 

Or the truth that she exactly sure at, that half of it are lies, either of the two personalities is a lie?

 

Still, Kai is right. If she is still not satisfied of what she knows, she knows she isn't far from that. She needs to seek for more pieces for her to see it clearer. 

 

And now, she is standing at the very entrance of the orphanage that she'd been to with 'maomao'. Staring at the every detail, and inhaling the air, somehow made her remember the feeling she felt back when she first stepped in this place, back when she can't see and only her sense other senses can function well.

 

Awakned from her thoughts because of some presence at her back and a voice asking her.

 

"Where should we put this Ms. Tiffany?" Her driver Kevin asked while carrying some toys, groceries and chocolates Tiffany bought for the children in the orphanage along with another man. She felt really bad that she only have the time to visit them after the operation. Added the fact that she have another intention made it even worse.

 

"Omo, Tiffany!" The nun opened the door after hearing a knock from the outside. 

 

"Aunt Nun, It's been a while" Tiffany said as she hugged the nun.

 

"Come in, they must feel tired carying those things" The nun said as she saw the men Tiffany with, carrying huge plastic bags in their hands and lead them inside. "the kids are in the playroom, they just finished their study time"

 

"Kids, we have a visitor and do you know who she is? she is not a santa but she have plenty of presents prepared for you" The nun said after she entered the room and get every kid's attention. Tiffany was left outside for the kids to be surprised by her visit.

 

"Wow presents!" "Who is she aunt nun?" "Does she look like a barbie?" The kids asked many different questions almost in unison for the nun to frown from their mixed voices that she don't understand them anymore. 

 

"okay, okay. i'll let you meet her when we get everything in order." She said pointing to the scattered toys in the floor and the tables, and also papers and crayons in some side. The kids run and immediately cleaned their mess out of the excitement they feel.

 

"Come in" The nun peeks at the door to tell Tiffany to enter after the kids finally calmed down and everything is back in its order.

 

"Hi cuties!" Tiffany greeted with a very wide smile

 

"Fany unnie!" "Noona!"  "so beautiful" "We missed you~"

 

After the greetings, Tiffany immediately distributed the toys and spends time with the kids by playing with them ad sharing stories of her childhood, and some information about her operation. She felt happy at some point because having to spend the day with them makes her feel very loved. The kids seemed to lessen the heavy load she is feeling right now with their innocence, energy, and carefree attitude. Tiffany took note that this can be her stress reliever from now on.

 

She can't keep her huge smile as she give the last toy that she brought to the kid and watch the kid skip to where her previous seat was and show the fluffy bear to her friends.

 

"uhm Fany unnie" A little girl in cream knitted dress pulled the hem of Tiffany's skirt with a barbie doll on her other hand.

 

"Yes baby girl?" Tiffany asked as she slightly lowered to the level of the kid and try to fix the kid's braided hair.

 

"Will you go and visit us again?" The kid shyly asked.

 

"I will, If you want me to" Tiffany pinches the girl cheek. The kid jumped into her and hugs Tiffany out of joy.

 

"Of course unnie! Yaaaaaay!" The little girl cheered as TIffany carries her and twirl around the room.

 

"I'll bring more pink girly stuff just for you, and that's our little secret okay?" Tiffany whispered to the little girl and chuckle seeing the girl's happy and delighted reaction.

 

"You should come here on saturday unnie, my prince charming visits us usually on saturdays and sometimes during sundays"

 

"Yeah noona, every saturday we have plenty of activities, specially sports listed in our daily task" A much older kid approached them and gave Tiffany a bottle of water.

 

"Of course, my prince charming is a very sporty person" The kid stated proudly.

 

"No, he's not yours. He's my boyfriend" Some kids also fathered around Tiffany as they heard about the topic.

 

"Jesse oppa is my prince charming" "No, Jesse oppa is mine, my boyfriend!" "Stop it! Jesse hyung doesn't belonged to anyone" 

 

Hearing the kids childlike quarrel made her head feels like spinning around. Se shifted her eyes across the room and then back to the kids, She become deaf for quite a while, she held where her heart beats fast and loud, the only noise she can register on her mind right now. That name that escaped from the kids' innocent mouths.

 

There it is, one of her motive to go in here, she doesn't know how to react. Now, she's so sure that this isn't mere coincidence to them.

 

She steps back as she is seeing the kids still quarrel not noticing her change of emotion. Her heart felt heavy for a few seconds, how can these open book truths can affect her? How can she digest this now fact?

 

Just as everything around Tiffany turned different and dark, a hand tapped her shoulder and there she saw the nun smiling at her. A smile that is comforting like a mother shows their child when they are all confused in everything, a mother that can light up the way for their kids.

 

The nun lead her to the garden and settled her on the bench,  assisting and holding her hand as if showing her a right path, to where the light is.

 

"I never wanted to hide it to you, but Jesse pleaded to me and told me it's better that you know nothing,. For your own good" The nun honestly said Tiffany remembering how Jesse begged her to just keep it  that way, Jesse is a very honest guy for the nun and she knows that he didn't want something bad and his intention is always good. 

 

Tiffany stared at the nun with confusion and disbelief and asks "For my own good?" 

 

The nun nodded her head. "I don't want to enter to personal matter if it has nothing to do with me, I agreed but he can't escape long lecture from me. I told him that sooner or later you will find out about it, you should know. He said he's just buying some time and trying to get the right timing for everything to be revealed. I didn't ask further because it looked like this is so important to him"

 

Tiffany just focused on everything the nun had told her with a frown still formed in her face.

 

"I hope you won't feel bad towards me Tiffany" The nun asked.

 

Tiffany draws out a smile and then shook her head. " I don't aunt nun, You're too kind for anyone to feel bad towards you" She then hugged the nun and led her mind at ease for a while. She rests her thoughts for a while because everything will be a roller coaster after this.

 

She now has a very good information, and she's satisfied with it. Tiffany will do what Kai told her to do next. Pieces of puzzle are on her hand and it is all clear to her, all she needs to do is to lay it on the guy and have him answer questions that only him can answer and put the pieces all together for her to see the whole picture. Nervous, yes and added her feeling that is so confused right now, mixed of happiness that she now found maomao, surprised, that she found him in the very least person she expects him to be, anger, at one side of her feels like she had been played for a while now.

 

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A few knocks can be heard at the apartment door, after a few seconds of waiting for Kai to open the door which he usually does. Sensing that the guy must have fallen asleep already, Jesse got up from the bed and folded the book he was reading slightly cursing because he is too engrossed in reading and whoever is knocking surely cut his momentum.

 

"Yes?" He opened the door without even bothering to peek through the hole first. He was surprised to see her right now, at first he couldn’t catch up her face cause she is looking down and a part of her face is visible in his view.

 

"Oh, Fany. Are you looking for Kai? I'll call him for you" He acts nonchalant and just leave the door open for her to enter, But when he was about to take his third step to Kai's room he might be dreaming but he sure heard someone sniff somewhere.

 

Jesse immediately looked back completely shocked to see tears falling down Tiffany's eyes. He wants to automatically go and hug her, as if to make her feel safe but he knows the limitation, he decided on some things and he is going all firm to it.

 

Carefully walking towards her, Jesse just did what the normal person will do if they see someone cry. He held her arm and guided her inside.

 

"What's wrong?" He sounds so soft for his liking, so he cleared his throat after noticing that.

 

"You.." Tiffany tries to talk even though her tears starting to fall twice as when he was still at the doorstep.

 

Jesse immediately withdrew his hand from Tiffany's arm, he felt that there's something wrong.

 

Slowly, Tiffany raised her head and looked at Jesse straight to his eyes, not caring what she looked like right now even though her tears continue to fall, she left it stream and not bothering to wipe it.

 

"Tell me you're Jesse" Tiffany said or seemed begging. 

 

"I am Jesse" Jesse admitted the fact with no tinge of emotion staring back to the girl, at first he was flustered when he saw how broken Tiffany looked like but changed it in just a snap back to the plain look.

 

"Tell me you're just Jesse, and not anyone else" Tiffany slowly walking close to Jesse. The guy get everything now, he needed to be firm of where he stands and not to soften in front of her.

 

"What do you want to hear Tiffany?" Before speaking he tightened his jaw, trying to prevent him to be careless right now.

 

"You're not him right? Tell me you're not him!" She hits Jesse's chest. She doesn't want them to be the same person because they are really confusing her in such a way that she will know nothing about this two personalities. If he is, it means she lost not only one but two persons.

 

"I'm not who Tiffany?" It's now or never for Jesse, holding his breath seeing that state of her that way.

 

“You’re not…”

 

“Maomao?” Jesse asked.

 

Tiffany shut her eyes close and then muttered “You’re not ‘maomao’. Tell me that” she then looked back down.

 

Jesse heaved a very deep sigh, blinking his eyes a couple of times and cleared his throat before looking up and say.

 

“As much as I want you to hear that, I want to be honest with you” Tiffany slowly opened her tired crying eyes.

 

“But I am Tiffany.” Jesse said to Tiffany straight to the eyes with eyes glistening, he can't hide everything in.

 

It finally slipped from his own mouth, the confirmation that will stop the doubts of Tiffany. But why does it made her heart smashed by that? 

 

She remembered something, so she pushed passed by Jesse and preceded to his room. Looking around and ended up checking every book in the mini shelf and at the table looking for a specific one.

 

"Here? What else do you need?" Jesse get the book from under his pillow and get the photo and handed it to Tiffany. With trembling hands, Tiffany get a hold of the photo and slowly looked at their happy faces with a beautiful scenery as a background. This is it, this is the reality. Memories kicked in and she hated herself for feeling all so giddy every time she reminisce every good memories with the guy who is looking at her now with his cold aura.

 

Tiffany started to hit Jesse with more force than earlier, crying her eyes out and asking one word repeatedly "Why?!"

 

Until she comes up with a better question to ask him, Jesse is all so quiet watching her cry.

 

"Why are you confusing me? Why?" She gripped his shirt and stare at his eyes, searching for some softness and care from it.

 

"I won't confuse you anymore Tiffany, because you'll never see that maomao again. Not anymore" Jesse replied straight and stern.

 

She shook her head and then looked back, now with anger formed her eyes. "Then why did you do this? why did you played with my heart like a toy?"

 

Jesse tries to remove Tiffany's hands from his shirt but ended up just holding it. He looks away, tears threatening to fall any second.

 

"Pity" Jesse can only whisper that word. Due to their closeness, Tiffany clearly heard it.

 

"W-What?" She asked in complete disbelief. 

 

"I saw you, your blindness made me feel sorry for you. So I just ride in your fantasies and act, lie if you want it to be. And now look at you, you can clearly see things now so why act as maomao again right? Why should I pity you now? No need to act, that fantasy will never be back again, so just let it go and move on" Jesse spat to Tiffany, very blunt but he needs it to be said like that.

 

"Pity. That's my answer, did I satisfy your confusion and answered your curiosity?" Jesse asked. "This is me Tiffany, the real me. The Jesse you know is the real me, Not close to becoming maomao even an inch" He continued because Tiffany can't even say a word.

 

"You're crying" She slowly said. Jesse was shocked; he himself didn't notice that his tears are betraying him from every word he spat to the girl.

 

He slowly reached his face and feels the dampness in his face and wipe some of it and stare at it.

 

"Again, I am feeling sorry to you. Look at you, you're all mess. But it's better for you to wake up with your fantasies" Jesse smiled slightly. He held it in and continues to hit her straight in the same wound in her heart.

 

A loud pang can be heard in the room. Tiffany slapped Jesse in his right cheek, too loud and strong that it stinged Jesse. It marked his now red cheek.

 

"I don't need your pity!" She paused and tries to inhale air as if she forgot how to breathe.

 

"I want to believe that you're a monster, dark souled person, you don't know how I hate you right now" Tiffany got her voice back. It hurts knowing all of this to be all from Pity. No more no less, just a plain pity he felt towards her.

 

  She runs out of the apartment fast with her hands on her face, trying to muster everything.

 

Jesse went out of his open room and watch Tiffany disappearing on his sight. He noticed a man standing at the other end of the room, seems like he heard and witnessed everything.

 

Jesse looked at Kai and nodded a little. Kai got the message, got close to Jesse and patted his shoulder as if to comfort him and then quickly run out searching for Tiffany.

 

When he knew he's the only one left in the four cornered apartment. Jesse started to tremble and broke down, leaning at the wall, fist closed with much force like he's digging his own nails to his skin. He let his entire cry out punching the wall.

 

few minutes passed, he raised his hand to his mouth to muffle down his cries. The other hand reaching his pocket to get his phone and dialed a number.

 

After a few rings the other line picked up.

 

"Hello my dear son" The person from the other line said.

 

"Dad I-I'm ready" He stuttered due to his still continuous crying. "Please prepare everything; I'm ready for the opening"

 

"O-okay" Mr. Jung answered unsure. "Son, are you okay?"

 

"I need to go dad, I'll call you later. Bye." Jesse immediately drop the call, letting the phone slipped through is hand and then stared blankly at the window, eyes starting to tear shed tears again.

 

 

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Do you guys know how I missed writing things so cruel! Bwahahaha i think i'm insane already.

 

I promised someone to update on Monday because exams will end on that day, but i felt guilty cause 'm actually planning to post this last friday. 

 

Lol. COMMENT, UPVOTE! Thank You. God Bless. 

 

(Don't be mad at me please)

 

 

03/15/15