“You’re free this weekend, right? If not, make it free.” Minwoo asked and demanded when they were on their way to Shinhwa Company on Friday, even if he had confessed his feeling for Andy, he couldn’t change his way to talking immediately. And Andy hadn’t given a definite answer yet as he said he would just give their relationship a try and see how it goes.

“Yea, why?” Of course Andy would be free as he had decided to visit Eric that day.

“Let’s go a date.” Minwoo grinned.

“Where to?”

“The beach. See you later.” Minwoo got off the car as he had arrived.

“Get home early.” Andy replied but he knew the other would. Minwoo had been going home early, still had some alcohol smell in his breath but he wasn’t wasted like before.

Andy drove straight to the basement, hoping that he would meet the Birds but they were nowhere in sight.

“Where’re the Birds?” He asked Eric.

“They’re on a mission for me. Why are you interested? It’s strange.” His boss raised his eyebrows while his eyes were still focusing on his phone, apparently, he was playing Anipang.

“There’s something I want to ask them, that’s all. And I won’t be in Seoul for the weekend so if something urgent comes up, try and get the Birds to resolve it.” Andy nonchalantly announced his weekend leave while doing check up on some companies for Eric.

“Where’re you going? Perhaps, you’re going with that guy?” Eric grinned.

“Just somewhere. And who are you talking about?”

“Who else? The guy you are living with, Minwoo. A date?” Eric winked.

“Urgh... I hate how you can be so right sometimes.” Andy pretended to cringe his face but he didn’t mind that Eric knows.

“So my Andy had fallen in love, you’ve grown.” Eric laughed.

“Not so much of love, just testing it out. There’s nothing to lose and I can get close to Lee Seungi.”

“From what I see, it’s definitely love.”

“How would you know? Do you stalk me or something?”

“No. Just from experience.” Eric shrugged his shoulders. “But how is your plan? I thought it was progressing smoothly.”

“I couldn’t find the information, it was well-hidden so I’m planning to take it slow and get closer to Lee Seungi first. Then, I would either trick him into tell or force him.” Andy’s eyes were stuck to the screen. Then, he pointed at the screen. “Hey, I think you can sell this information for quite a good chunk of money.”

“What?” Eric jumped up from his sofa to stare into the screen, indeed, it was a valuable piece of information. “As always, I can’t do without your genius brain, Andy.”

“Then, can I call it a day?” Andy glanced at the time, it was nearly two and he wanted to make something special for Minwoo.

“This brat, you haven’t even work that much. Are you in an urgent to see someone?” Eric asked teasingly. “But I will let you off, it’s nice to love and be loved. Just make up for it next time.”

“Till then, bye.” Andy walked out with a big smile on his face.

Minwoo’s apartment

Andy was contemplating to create a full traditional course for dinner but he didn’t have enough time. Thus, he cooked simpler dishes that go well with beer as there’s no harm in letting Minwoo drink to his heart desire once in a while.

Are you expecting a romantic dinner setting with candles, dim lights and red wine? Sorry to disappoint you but this is not a cheesy story and our characters are not that corny either. They are men, real men after all even if they are attracted to each other. Minwoo came home to see the table was all set with delicious dishes, not to mention the plentiful of alcohol that almost blinded his eyes. His mouth was salivating at the sight of the food but his throat was dry, extremely dry due to the thirst for the alcohol in front of him. His body still hadn’t quite gotten over the addiction for alcohol just yet.

“I can drink tonight?” Minwoo raised his question at Andy, whom had just popped open a can of beer.

“As much as you want.” Andy handed the opened can to Minwoo and opened another for himself. “Cheer.”

“Cheer!” Minwoo smiled brightly as their can lightly collided. “What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing, just that you haven’t been drinking much so let say it’s just a reward?”

“Well, I’m not gona complain.” Minwoo had already fixed his eyes on the chicken drumstick. “Delicious!”

“Thanks for the long overdue compliment. Wasn’t my food always delicious?” Andy laughed. Minwoo was slightly flustered so he kept on biting the drumstick instead of answering.

“So...um... tell me more about yourself. Your real self that is, since I don’t know much about you as a person at all.” Andy gazed deeply into Minwoo’s eyes, he really wanted to know the other better, so that he could ease the pain away, or at least, share the pain as he knew how hurtful it is to carry everything on one’s shoulder alone.

“Eh... I don’t even know me well...” Minwoo was startled, he felt like Andy could see through him, to the deepest of his soul with that gaze. “I like freedom, to do whatever I want, without worries, without restraints, without doubts... A far away land, where it’s just me and vast nature... A place where everything is itself... And now, I want you there with me too.”

“Ahh... freedom... I also wish to break free...” Andy nodded in agreement, they are similar in a way after all. “Human are just too deceitful, aren’t they? But so are us...”

“Isn’t that the only way to survive in this cold, cruel city? Even one can betray their family for one’s desire.” Minwoo sighed. “Even my father, he’s just treating me as a trading item, an investment that has high potential of generating profit for the company, or more like, for himself. But what could I do? There was nothing I want so I just lived every single day with an empty heart behind those fancy masks.”

“It’s suffocating, isn’t it? It’s like you’re caged, and there’s no way out but falling deeper and deeper into a bottomless pit. So deep that not even a faint ray of light could reach to give hope. All you can think is the reason why you’re still living, but you just can’t end your own life, even if it was too painful.” Andy said as he stared at the can of beer in his hand, his head was becoming light but he could still think clearly. He was trained to be able to hold a lot of alcohol so that much wasn’t really going to affect him. However, it did help him to open his heart a little.

“That’s right! A cage! Seem like you know it well. Those feelings...” Minwoo paused as he couldn’t find the words to describe his despair, his emotions were swelling up within him.

“I know.” Andy placed his hand on top of Minwoo’s and gave a gentle squeeze. His eyes were reassuring, telling Minwoo that he understood the hardship as well as the message that he will be there for Minwoo.

“You seem to carry a lot of pain too, since you know how it feels...” Minwoo mumbled, his words had become slurry from the alcohol.

“It’s because the past is also taunting me, just like you.” Andy heaved a sigh. He was still in his right mind even though he had numbers of cans already. “I don’t know if I can compare the two since they’re different but my past is dark, cruel and heavy, maybe much more than yours.”

“What is it?” Minwoo questioned while he stared into the other’s eyes, he could see uneasiness flickered. So instead of pressuring the other to tell, Minwoo tried to make a light joke out of it while laughing. “It’s too depressing, isn’t it? Our lives are such a mess but for me, it’s getting brighter.”

“I will tell you about it soon... Just promise me, that you will not turn back into who you was before you meet me. I don’t even mind if you hate me, despite me but don’t lose hope in life...” Andy whispered, just loud enough for Minwoo to hear as it was difficult to say. Deep down, he didn’t want Minwoo to hate him, but realistically, he expected that the other would, considering he was just another of many that had used Minwoo, that had deceived him.

“Just what are you talking about? Stop sprouting nonsense. How can I hate you when it takes this much courage to love you?” Minwoo furrowed his eyebrows, he was drunk. “I will never hate you, that, I promise!”

Please don’t give me false hope. There’s no salvation for me but there is for you. Tomorrow is the day when this little fragile bubble of happiness burst, I’ve been living in such luxury for too long.

Andy gazed at the sleeping Minwoo, his head was on the dining table, his face was covered by his brown hair. A smile, a bitter smile formed on Andy’s face as his gaze became melancholy, as if he was longing for the impossible. He stood up, placed Minwoo’s arm over his shoulder to carry the guy to the bedroom.

“You haven’t.... tell me about... yourself...” Minwoo mumbled into Andy’s ears in his half-asleep, fully drunken state.

“You will hate me if you know, but then you will know, since I don’t want to hide anything from you. Not anymore.” Andy murmured under his breath.

--------------

“Woohoo~~~~” Minwoo excitedly exclaimed as he felt the wind brushed by through the wound down car window. He was having his back comfortable leaning against the seat while his right hand was on the steering wheel and the other was fidgeting from excitement.

“Focus on the road, I don’t want to die just yet.” Andy grumbled.

“I’m better at driving than you, you know.” Minwoo laughed as he sped up to the speed limit and zic-zac over the three lanes of the freeway.

“That level of stunt is nothing.” Andy commented as his face was calm, even though a normal person would have freaked out from the crazy drive.

“Well, I can’t perform high class stunt right now since I don’t want to break the law, get arrested when I just get this chance to go on a proper date with you.” Minwoo grinned. “I had done some crazy stuffs before with Shinhwa, I’m sure they still have videos if you want to see.”

“So you know Shinhwa personally, yet you still made me go through all that trouble to get their signature?” Andy gasped, it wasn’t troublesome, but he didn’t know that Minwoo actually knows Shinhwa.

“Well, yea, just through connections. They’re quite a bunch of eccentric guys, I envied their friendship, you know. They have each other back. I was just toying with you back then.... Sorry..” Minwoo’s voice grew fainter as he was embarrassed about his actions.

“It’s alright. Don’t be sorry. So... what are we going to do?” Andy asked while looking at the sight of the appearing beach.

“Since I have never dated a guy before, I searched the Internet. The description came up was ‘walking hand-in-hand by the beach, lying down on the sand and watch the sun set, a bonfire by the sea with grilled marshmallows and stargazing’...” Minwoo stopped talking as he saw the somewhat disgusted look on Andy’s face. “Or we can do something else. Any suggestion?”

“Eh... Um... My expression must have been horrible for you to stopped mid-way like that... But I really disliked that Internet’s ideas for a beach date... It’s for women, if you know what I mean, we are guys...” Andy laughed. “How about fishing?”

“Sound great. I must agree that the ideas seem too cheesy.”

“Said by the guy that always uses cheesy pick up lines.” Andy chuckled.

“How did you know?” Minwoo was surprised.

“Well, just because... I’ll tell you later. I promise.” Andy sighed. “Can we just enjoy our time now? I want some fresh sashimi from the fishes that we will catch today.”

----------------

“Is this your scale of a CEO?” Andy laughed as he joked while looking around the boat Minwoo had rent.

“It’s better than making you think I’m some kind of rich guy flaunting his money on impractical things like renting a fancy cruise ship for fishing.” Minwoo handed a fishing rod to Andy.

“True. But do you even know how to fish?” Andy asked as he was hooking the squirming worm.

“Urh...no. Can you not do that? It looks kind of gross to jam the worm like that.” Minwoo’s face was wrinkled from the sight of the worm being pierced four times.

“Well, I have to or else the worm will wriggle away before the fish takes the bait.” Andy shrugged. Then, he casted the line into the vast ocean.

“I will just use some cheese instead...” Minwoo slightly stepped away from the can of worms. He picked up a slice of cheese and hooked it. He was about to cast the line but Andy stopped him.

“You have to secure it around hook by folding it as many times as possible so that the fish won’t just snatch the bait away.” Andy worked the hook through the piece of cheese a few more times before he released it. “Also, you need proper standing posture to cast the line.”

Andy shuffled closer to Minwoo as he grasped the other’s hand.

“Swing the rod like this.” Andy moved Minwoo’s body to show the motion. Are you expecting some shy, fluffy, romantic moments like in drama? Too bad, they were just comfortable with each other and it was just purely helping out. “Like when you want to make a stone skips on water.”

“You seem to be the expert in this stuff.” Minwoo was amazed.

“I’ve done quite a bit of fishing.” Andy recalled the countless trips that he had to accompany Eric to some isolated mountains just because the guy felt like fishing, even in the middle of the night. And it was boring for Andy at first since Eric was just lost in his own world while fishing, thinking about whatever and Andy was just awkwardly watching. But eventually, Andy learnt how to fish and enjoy the leisure activity by himself as he tended to catch more fishes than Eric.

By evening, Minwoo and Andy had caught quite a feast for themselves, some mackerels and eels. And of course, it wouldn’t be complete without the typical instant noodles, shin ramyeon. As always. Andy was the one that prepared the food but at least, Minwoo lent a helping hand this time round. They enjoyed the food together while the sun was settling to the horizon. Andy softly whispered his favourite song which caught Minwoo’s attention.

“Is that the song that you sang last time?”

“Yeah. It’s probably the only song I know how to sing.”

“Then sing it. I would love to hear.” Minwoo gazed at Andy, not with cute puppy eyes but just a gentle look.

life is brief
fall in love, maidens
before the crimson bloom
fades from your lips
before the tides of passion
cool within you,
for those of you
who know no tomorrow

life is brief
fall in love, maidens
before his hands
take up his boat
before the flush of his cheeks fades
for those of you
who will never return here

life is brief
fall in love, maidens
before the boat drifts away
on the waves
before the hand resting on your shoulder
becomes frail
for those who will never
be seen here again

life is brief
fall in love, maidens
before the raven tresses
begin to fade
before the flame in your hearts
flicker and die
for those to whom today
will never return

Minwoo closed his eyes while Andy’s voice was softly spreading out into the vast ocean. It was a coincident that they were also on a boat, well not really, because I made it that way, but the song was indeed describing their moment. The orange light from the sunset was glowing on them, like the flickering flame that was about to fade. Minwoo was wishing that the boat would just drift away into an unknown place, and then it would be just him and Andy. He would be able escape the cold deceitful world, he would be free.

While singing the song, Andy was also thinking, but obviously, a different thought from Minwoo. He was muttering up his courage to admit his feelings and also, the courage to disclose everything. He would fall in love, like the song had suggested, but also just like how the song went, the flame in the heart would flicker and die. Not his own flame, but the flame in Minwoo’s heart. Andy was certain that falling in love with Minwoo is a thorny path but after all, life is brief.

A moment of silence sank into the atmosphere after the song had ended.

“Minwoo...” Andy hesitantly began. “There is something I need to tell you.”

“Hmmm... What is it?”

“I love you.” Andy confessed with a calm voice.

“Oh great!” Minwoo exclaimed but he frowned immediately as he saw the serious expression on Andy’s face.

“But you will hate me. Honestly, I’ve approached you with a hidden motive. Just like everyone else, I used you, so that I could get into Lee Seungi’s mansion. The reason I’m still with you was because I didn’t accomplish my goal. I’m sorry... But now, I really do love you for who you are...” Andy heaved a long sigh. “Hate me all you want...”

Minwoo gasped, his eyes widened for a short moment but he closed them so that he could process the information and control his rising emotions.

“Why do you tell me now?” Minwoo questioned. “You could just keep it secret, I wouldn’t have known.”

“Because I love you. I don’t want to lie to you any more, not when I realise that I care for you. It’s better to get all the secrets out of the way than having you learn about them somewhere down the track, when the relationship is already deep. It would be more painful for you and me. So...do you despite me now?” Andy replied with sadness filled in his eyes.

Silence.

Minwoo gritted his teeth, of course he was shocked and somewhat hated Andy, but that didn’t last for long.

“I do.” Upon hearing those words, Andy’s chest was clustered. He had mentally prepared himself for it but to actually hear it, that was much more hurtful than he had anticipated.

“But I will still love you. I still want to be with you. Let’s us be in love.” Minwoo continued.

Silence.

Andy was bewildered.

“You are... fine with that?” Andy stuttered.

“You’re honest. And I love you. That’s all it matter. I guess Dongwan was right, I always am blinded by love, to the point that I ignore all the flaws, even obvious flaws.” Minwoo chuckled. “So what’s the deal with my uncle?”

“It’s a long story. Let’s grab some blankets before we continue. Of course I will tell you everything, even my past...”

Minwoo and Andy were snuggling warmly and comfortably on the small deck with blankets wrapped around. Andy gazed at the shiny stars in the dark sky that had fallen as he began to tell his own past. A cruel past that might even surpass Minwoo’s but then again, to each individual, their own horrible experiences are the most traumatic and painful to them.

A very long chapter :) Follow by my hiatus! Uni has started TT.TT

The sweetness will temporarily come to a halt here as the next few chapters will be angst. I'm evil, aren't I?

The date wasn't quite how I first thought of it, it was planned to be cute, fluffy but then I thought again, it wouldn't suit with this story, the two of them are suffering from traumatic events so they wouldn't be able to act all that cutesy. Not to mention, they grew up as proper men.... So hope the date didn't disappoint you.

And as a shinhwa changjo, sorry for keep using orange background, orange sunset and orange ocean hahahaha but I cant help it :)) On another note, I think it's been approximately a year since I discovered Shinhwa (can't remember exact date, should have noted that down) from Happy Together season 3 episode.

Happy 35th Birthday M-oppa aka Minbong, Minnie, Minu, Special Stupid, etc and last but not least, Lee Minwoo. 35? Naaah, I believe you're still in your 20s.