The blonde looked up to the clear blue sky. It was a beautiful day, everything felt perfect. She inhaled, breathing in the air of spring.

“Jessie, it’s time.” Krystal spoke and a sweet smile plastered her face.

“Krys.. I’m.. nervous.” Jessica admitted as she fiddles with the bouquet of purple lilacs on her hands.

“Oh Jessie.. you’re so pretty.” Krystal glided to her sister before enveloping her in a long hug.

“Taeyeon-unnie is so lucky to be your wife.” She added.

Jessica smiled at her sister before saying, “I’m lucky to have her too.”

“You both are lucky.” The siblings turned to face their mother as she spoke from their back.

“Mom..” Jessica said, letting go of Krystal to hug her mother.

“You look so beautiful, princess.” Another voice came in, and Jessica’s smile widened as her father opened his arms at her, asking for a hug.

“Ah, Daddy! Why are you making me cry? You’re going to ruin my makeup. I will look ugly in my own wedding!” Jessica pouted cutely as she moved to hug her father.

“Don’t worry, Taeyeon will still love you then.” Mr. Jung said, the back of the head of his eldest daughter.

“Ah, I am getting old. I’m already walking my daughter to the altar.” Mr. Jung said, sniffing. Krystal rolled her eyes at her overly dramatic father.

“Alright, guys! Let’s get going. We don’t want Taeyeon-unnie to be waiting for long. Let’s go! Let’s go!” Krystal announced, making her father laugh at her.

“You call Taeyeon Unnie but you only call Sooyeon Jessie. Aren’t you a little biased?” Mr. Jung joked as he ruffled Krystal’s perfectly braided hair.

“Daaaaaddddd!!!! I spent hours and hours on my hair!!!” Krystal whined, swatting her father’s hand away.

Laughter was her father’s response as he enveloped the youngest Jung in a tight embrace.

“Aigoo, my Soojung. Don’t go shocking me for a wedding like your sister did, alright? You girls are gonna be the death of me. Seriously.” He said, casting a glance at Jessica which the latter just cheekily grinned at.

“You know very well that this was inevitable. Don’t be so dramatic.” Mrs. Jung then commented as she pat her husband’s arm, beckoning him to start walking.

“I know..” He replied, smiling at his wife as he intertwined their fingers together.

“Let’s go, Jessie.” Krystal extended a hand to Jessica with a smile, which the latter took happily; letting her younger sister guide her to the garden where the guests were waiting.

“Don’t cry, alright? Just smile. Remember your makeup.” Krystal whispered.

**

The place was how Jessica had always imagined it to be. Green, trimmed grass on the ground and Cherry Blossoms beautifully sprinkled on either side of the pathway to the altar. The wind slightly blew as it kissed Jessica’s cheeks. A smile found its way to the blonde’s lips. This is it! She mentally cheered. The chairs were already occupied by their guests. Her friends from work, from college and of course; Yoona, Sooyoung, Sunny and Yuri. They all stood up as Jessica approached the end of the aisle. Sooyoung was the first one to approach her, enveloping her in a tight hug.

“Soo! Can’t.. breath..” Jessica protested; half-chuckling, half-choking.

“Sorry.. it’s just.. you’re so beautiful..” Sooyoung said, letting go of the older girl.

“Thanks Soo.”

“Can I hug my savior?” Yoona joined in, pushing Sooyoung aside.

“Yoong..” Jessica grinned, opening her arms towards the younger girl.

“You look perfect, Sica.”

“Now, now. It’s my turn.” Sunny chimed in, breaking Jessica and Yoona’s hug.

“Thank you. So much. For everything. For High School. For Taeyeon.” Jessica rambled as she hugged Sunny.

“I didn’t do anything. It was all you and Taeyeon, okay? You don’t have to thank me. I just want to see the both of you happy.” Sunny replied with little tears in her eyes.

“Barbie.. you take care of the nerd, alright? And patience. Remember.” Yuri grinned as she too, enveloped Jessica in a hug.

“Yah! I’m here! And you’re calling her Barbie?!” Yoona protested, breaking the hug between Jessica and Yuri.

“Jealous Yoong is hot.” Yuri whispered cheekily, making the younger girl blush.

Krystal just rolled her eyes at her Unnies’ antics.

“Now, where is the groo—err, other bride? I don’t see any short girl here except Jessie and Soonkyu-unnie.” Krystal said, as she scanned the garden for Taeyeon.

“Yah! We’re not short! You guys are just reeeaaallyyyyy tall, alright?!” Jessica retorted, making everyone laugh.

As soon as the laughter died down; Mr. Jung spoke, “Where’s Taeyeon, Soonkyu?”

“I.. well.. I haven’t heard from her since last night.” Sunny said, taking her phone out from her purse.

“I’m being sent straight to voice mail.” She added, waving her phone in front of the Jungs.

Jessica looked at her mother with worried eyes. Mrs. Jung smiled and nodded as she takes her daughter’s hand in hers.

“She’s fine, Sooyeon. Don’t worry, she’ll be here.” She cooed; thumb rubbing the back of Jessica’s hand.

“What if something happened? She was never late, you all know that.” Jessica asked as tears started building up on the side of her eyes.

Mr. Jung was quick to wipe the tears as he said, “Nothing happened, okay? Taeyeon is fine. She might be on her way. Don’t worry.”

Jessica nodded hesitantly at her father, brushing her negative thoughts away.

She was soon ushered to an empty chair on the back as her family and friends crowded around her, concern and worry evident on their faces. Krystal had tried calling her Taeyeon-unnie’s phone but just like Sunny, she was sent straight to voice mail. Krystal groaned inwardly before dialing Taeyeon’s number again and, this time, leaving a message asking where she is and to call her as soon as she could.

An hour passed and there was still no sign of Taeyeon.  Jessica started to be jittery by then. It wasn’t in Taeyeon’s nature to be late. She was never late. Especially when it comes to Jessica. She started pacing back and forth, still holding the purple lilacs; not minding the hemline of her wedding dress as it grazed against the ground.

“Jessie, will you relax? Please?” Krystal pulled her wrists, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Three hours passed and there was still no Taeyeon. Some of the guests had walked out by then, casting Jessica sympathetic glances. But she brushed them off. Taeyeon and her safety was more important at the moment.

Three hours dragged to four, then five, then six; and eventually all the guests had left after seven hours of waiting, leaving Jessica with her friends and family. Yoona and Yuri looked at each other with knowing gazes. The couple then looked at Sunny who shrugged her shoulders before they glanced at Sooyoung who was balling her fist.

“That’s it! She’s not coming! Come on, Sica. Let’s get you home.” Sooyoung announced with much venom in her voice, making all the attentions of the Jungs turn towards her. Mrs. Jung shook her head in disapproval, pointing her lips at Jessica before Sooyoung nodded knowingly. Mr. Jung, on the other hand, extended his hand towards his eldest daughter.

“Come on, princess. It had been seven hours. Let’s wait for Taeyeon’s explanation at home instead?” He said, smiling sadly at his daughter.

But Jessica stayed rooted on her seat as she shook her head stubbornly. “Dad, she’s coming. She promised,” she said as new tears started running down her cheeks. Her father was fast at catching it again with his thumb. He looked to his side where his wife stood. Mrs. Jung smiled weakly at him before nodding.

“Alright. The old ones are heading home first..” He said as he stood up from crouching down in front of his eldest daughter. “Sooyoung, will you send Sooyeon and Soojung home, please?”

“Yes, Uncle.” Sooyoung nodded before Jessica’s parents bid them goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Jessie.” Krystal said abruptly, hanging her head low.

Sooyoung’s face contorted before saying, “Yah! Jung Soojung! Why are you saying sorry?! It’s that midget’s fault! I knew she couldn’t be trusted!”

“Sooyoung..” Yuri said as she eyed Jessica who was now softly sobbing. She then moved to Jessica’s side as she rubbed the crying girl’s back.

“Sica-yah.. don’t cry. I know Taeng has an explanation.” She added as Jessica continued crying.

Sunny then moved closer to the blonde, enveloping her in a comforting hug. “Jessica.. I’m sorry,” she said as she too, shed little tears. The sight before her was too heartbreaking. Taeyeon may have her reasons but Sunny can’t help but get mad at her bestfriend. She shouldn’t have proposed in the first place.

Krystal then knelt in front of her sister as she kissed the older girl’s forehead. Jessica looked up to meet Krystal’s gaze. The younger girl had a smile on her face as she said, “you are too pretty to be crying over an irresponsible midget.”

Jessica looked off to the side, not being able to hold Krystal’s sympathetic gaze anymore. Why does everybody pity her? It’s not like Taeyeon is going to break her promise, right? The together forever? No, Taeyeon would never do that. The girl loves her; that, she is sure.

“Sunny, have you tried her phone again?” She said in a croaked voice. Sunny nodded with sad eyes.

She averted her eyes to the night sky and caught the sight of the Sirius star; the brightest and Taeyeon’s favorite star. Jessica sighed before whispering, “Taengoo..”

**

Days turned into weeks and but there was still no messages or calls from Taeyeon. Jessica waits patiently, vowing to listen to whatever her fiancée would say. Yes, she will do just that. She was ready to forgive, ready to take Taeyeon back. But then Krystal came barging in, with a newspaper in hand. The youngest Jung’s eyes were ablaze as she handed Jessica the newspaper. With puzzled eyes, Jessica tilted her head as she looked up to Krystal.

“I knew this was the reason! Damn it!” Krystal paced to and fro in front of Jessica, making the older girl dizzy.

“Krys, your making me dizzy. Will you stand still please?” Jessica commented as she tugged on Krystal’s wrist. However, she was taken aback at her sister’s crying face.

“Krys, what’s wrong? Did you and Baekhyun fight?” She asked frantically, cupping her sister’s face.

The younger Jung scoffed, “You’re worrying about me when your fiancée haven’t called you since the wedding... supposed wedding. Ex. Fiancée.” She said, hissing the last words.

“What?!” Jessica arched a brow at her younger sister.

Krystal didn’t answer. Instead, she moved to the bed and took the newspaper that Jessica had dropped when she stood up. Krystal then raised the newspaper to Jessica’s face, making the front page visible to her sister.

Jessica’s eyes widened at the picture. Her heart twinge as her brain went haywire. Unstoppable tears unconsciously rolled down her thinning cheeks. She blinked; once, twice, thrice. She lost count. Her vision was already blurred when her sister’s long arms wrapped around her body.

Kim Taeyeon and Jang Wooyoung’s Engagement. The bold letters of the front page screamed, as if slapping her hard on the face. Her body shook as she cried a river of tears in her sister’s shoulder. Her world crumbled down. Whatever happened to ‘together forever’?

The week after Taeyeon’s engagement with one Jang Wooyoung, Jessica finds herself seated in a plane bound for California with a puffy-eyed Krystal sleeping soundly beside her and their parents on the seats before them. Her hand unconsciously rubbed her belly and a small, sad smile found its way to her lips. It was time to start anew.

**

West Coast has been nothing but nice so far. The sun, the beach, the smiling people; Jessica loved all of it. They had adjusted well, with Krystal continuing her studies and their father managing his brother’s business. Their new life has been good so far. But there was still that void in Jessica’s heart. It still aches for Taeyeon after all. It had been exactly six months since they left South Korea, cutting all communications from her friends. It was hard, but she needed to do it. She didn’t need any reminder of Taeyeon. Sure, Yoona and Sooyoung might hate her for what she did, but she thought it was for the best.

She looked ahead at the beach as her hand rubbed her bulging belly. A few months more and her baby will be out in the world. Krystal had gone hysterical when she broke the news of her being pregnant a few weeks after they were settled in their new home in California. Her father shook his head disapprovingly but her mother had the biggest smile on her face.  I’m happy for you. What are we going to name him or her? She said happily as she hugged Jessica. Krystal had interrupted then, What?! No! That child would just remind her of South Korea! Are you nuts?! Why would you do that?! She yelled, forgetting that their parents were there. Fortunately, their father was there to pacify his youngest daughter, patting her shoulder. Are you sure about this, Sooyeon? Being a parent is not an easy task, especially when you’re a single parent. He said, cupping Jessica’s cheeks. She looked straight to her father’s eyes and nodded, making him smile before hugging her. You’re and idiot, Krystal commented before enveloping her in a tight hug. Jessica smiled, thanking the heavens for her beautiful family.

Too lost in her thoughts to notice the other person that sat beside her, Jessica jumped a little when the person cleared their throat.

“Jeez! You scared me! Don’t do that again!” She said as she clutched her chest.

“Jessi, I’ve been here for the past fifteen minutes.” The person beside her giggled before reaching out to rub her bulging tummy.

“How are you feeling?” The person asked again.

“I’m fine. My tummy doesn’t hurt anymore.” Jessica answered, smiling warmly at her companion before leaning her head on the person’s arm.

“Don’t stress yourself anymore or little Seohyun will suffer.”

Jessica nods her answer and hummed.

“What were you thinking just now?” The person asked.

“Life.”

“What about life?”

“How sad yet wonderful it turned out?”

“How can it be wonderful when it’s sad?”

“Well, I met great people. I met you, I have Seohyun coming up, I got Hyo. I still have my family. Although it didn’t turn out the way I had planned it; I could never ask for more.”

“Your hormones are making you overly dramatic. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought you have some terminal disease and you’re actually saying goodbye.”

Jessica rolled her eyes though the other person can’t see it.

“Thank you, Tiff.” She said before straightening up to kiss the girl’s cheeks. A blush crept its way to Tiffany’s cheeks before smiling, eyes transforming to crescent.

**

“Jessi, hold on.. we’re almost there.” Tiffany said frantically as she rode the ambulance with Jessica holding her hand tight.

“Can’t this thing go any faster?!” She yelled at the paramedics as she watched Jessica’s eyelids fluttered open before closing again.

“Ma’am please calm down.” A paramedic checking Jessica’s blood pressure said coolly, making Tiffany arch a brow.

“I am suing all of you if something happens to my friend!” She yelled, making the paramedics flinch.

“Jessi.. Jessi stay with me, okay? Don’t you dare sleep Jessica Jung!” She said, tightening her hold on Jessica’s hand.

A weak nod was Jessica’s answer as tears after tears roll down her cheeks.

**

“The patient is still unconscious but you can take little Seohyun home now.” The doctor smiled warmly at Krystal as a nurse handed Mrs. Jung a healthy baby girl.

Her gaze averted to Jessica before asking, “She’s okay, right?”

The doctor looked over Jessica too before answering, “We will do everything for her to be okay. For now we can’t really be sure.” He then excused himself.

“Stupid unnie.” Krystal whispered as she Jessica’s chestnut brown tresses.

“Krys, she’s going to be fine.” Tiffany smiled at the sulking girl before squeezing her shoulder lightly.

**

“She looks just like her.”

Jessica turned to face her sister as they watch Seohyun run around their backyard.

“Yeah.” She answered, bringing her attention back to her daughter.

“Are you accepting the modeling offer in Korea?”

Jessica nodded.

“But, are you going to be okay? Tiffany won’t be there.”

“Hyo and Seohyun are coming with me. I’ll be okay, Krys.” Jessica gave her sister an assuring smile.

“I’m worried about you. If I could just come, I would. But I still have university.” Krystal said, leaning her head in Jessica’s shoulder.

Jessica brushed the stray hair on her sister’s face before kissing the younger girl’s forehead.

“Thank you, Krys. But I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Call me as soon as something happen, okay?”

“Will do.”

**

A week and a half had passed since her talk with Krystal and Jessica finds herself standing outside Incheon International Airport. She inhaled a lungful of South Korea’s air as nostalgia crept in. What a way to welcome me. However, a tug on the hem of her shirt had Jessica looking down to a pair of expectant eyes.

“Mommy? Seohyun tired.” Her daughter whined, pouting cutely. Jessica bent down before carrying the three year old girl in her arm.

“Let’s get going.” Her blonde friend spoke from behind them. Jessica smiled and nodded.

“Thanks Hyo.. for being here.” Jessica said before getting in on the cab that was waiting for them.

**

The day after Jessica signed the four months contract for a clothing line was the day she dreaded the most. It started to be a happy day with them strolling around Seoul before ending up in a supermarket to buy grocery supplies. Seohyun happily skipped on the sidewalk as she sang a nursery rhyme, making Jessica and Hyoyeon chuckle at the wrong lyrics.

“You go get the vegetables and I’ll take care of Hyunnie.” Hyoyeon instructed and Jessica nodded.

When she arrived on the vegetable fridge, she grimaced at the cucumbers that occupied almost half of the fridge. She just finished putting vegetables on her basket and was about to get a sweet potato for her daughter when a familiar voice suddenly yelled her name.

She looked at the short duo that stood a few feet away from her. Her insides flipped as her eyes landed on the blonde that was smiling at her.

“You.. you called for me?” She inquired in English, as if she didn’t hear them.

The short brunette looked beside her before answering in English too, “Uh, yes?” The blonde beside the brunette shrugged.

“Anyway, how are you? You look good!” The brunette reached out for her hand but Jessica shoved her hands inside her pockets as a reflex. Her mind was going haywire at the unexpected meeting. She wasn’t prepared and she didn’t want this to happen either. She was fine, she was moving on with her life. Why did she have to see her here again?

“I’m sorry, but do I know you?” She asked, shocking the short duo and herself. It all happened so fast. She panicked; she didn’t know what else to say.

The blonde girl looked deep in her eyes, like how she used to do, and fortunately Jessica had regained her composure. Wearing that bored-looking expression she always wear on photoshoots.

“Sunny. Remember? High school friends? Like really really friends. College housemates?” The short brunette inquired expectantly with her brows pulled together.

“I’m s-sorry. I had an.. uhm.. amnesia. Right, amnesia. I have amnesia from an accident four years ago, so I don’t remember any of my past.” She answered, deciding to go on with her lie.

“Really?! Oh my gosh!” Sunny exclaimed with wide eyes and Jessica inwardly sighed. Soonkyu had always been the gullible one.

“Did you hear that, Taeng?!” The aegyo queen added and Jessica saw Taeyeon nod in her peripheral vision as she stared intently at Jessica.

“I’m really sorry if I don’t remember you and your.. err, sister?” She went along, eyes glancing briefly at the blonde who stood beside Sunny without uttering a word.

“Oh, this is Taeyeon. Your.. err,” She heard Sunny trailed off before looking at Taeyeon with questioning eyes, as if asking for permission. Jessica’s eyes wavered for a split second as Taeyeon shook her head.

“..your friend from High School too.” Sunny continued.

Did she just deny me in my face? Jessica mentally asked as anger build up. How dare you, Kim Taeyeon!

“H-hi.” The blonde said shyly, accompanying it with a smile. Jessica wanted to wipe off the smile on the blonde’s face but knew better than to get caught.

“Hello, I’m Jessica. But I guess you already know that.” She answered instead, mustering a small smile.

“Uh. When did you.. when—“ Taeyeon was about to ask something when her daughter’s voice came booming in.

“Mommy!” Jessica exhaled the breath she was unconsciously holding as she bent down to pick up her daughter.

“Did you have fun?” She asked Seohyun with her sweet voice, throwing all the cold façade away.

The little girl nodded before answering, “Mommy Hyo say she waits durr.” And pointed at the blonde who stood on the cashier.

“Alright, let’s go then.”

“It was nice seeing you guys but I have to go now. Sunny-shi.. and..?” Jessica said, turning her attention back to the short duo. No, she didn’t forget Taeyeon’s name. She could never forget her name.

“Taeng..” There was a slight pause and Jessica caught the hesitation in the blonde’s voice. “Kim Taeyeon.” The girl added, extending her hand to Jessica expectantly.

Seeing Taeyeon again was too much, and holding her hand would most likely break the cold façade down. And Jessica didn’t want to tear up in front of her ex lover. So she did what was the most polite thing to do; she bowed before strolling off with her daughter.

She held her tears as she approached Hyoyeon and the blonde looked at her questioningly.

**

“Are you okay?” Hyoyeon asked Jessica as the girl looked out the window with sad eyes. The girl had been zoning out since they went home from the supermarket.

“I saw Taeyeon,” was her short answer.

“What? Where?” Hyoyeon asked, taking a seat beside her friend.

“Earlier at the supermarket.”

“Then what happened?”

“I..” Jessica tore her gaze off the window for a second and looked at Hyoyeon.

“I told them I have amnesia and don’t remember them.” She added.

“You what?!”

Jessica shrugged.

“Why did you have to lie?”

“I panicked, okay. I thought I was okay. But she stood there, in front of me, smiling like nothing happened. What was I supposed to do?”

“Oh, Jess.”

“Was it wrong?”

“I don’t know. Maybe yes, maybe no.”

“My heart still aches.”

Jessica leaned her head in Hyoyeon’s shoulder. She had been dying to call Krystal since they came home but she didn’t want to worry the younger girl. And there was Tiffany, the one she had confided most of her problems. But the girl didn’t know about Taeyeon, she only knew about an ex-fiancée from Seoul and nothing more. Hyo, on the other hand, knew about Taeyeon and was always trustworthy. Not that Tiffany wasn’t. But by the time she met Tiffany, she was already moving on and decided to burry in the past what had been in the past.

A frown found its way to her face. That was the right thing to do, right? Burry the past in the past? But why was Taeyeon still pulling some strings in her heart? And why does the girl’s voice still send tingles all over her body? Why does she still feel bare under Taeyeon’s gaze? And more importantly, why does she miss Taeyeon more than before? Where was the hurt? Where was anger? The girl betrayed her before. It was only right to feel angry towards the girl, right? She left her hanging before.

“But it’s not right. I shouldn’t be feeling anything anymore, right?” Jessica added, making Hyoyeon turn to face her, only to be greeted by the older girl’s crown of the head.

“Jess, we can just go back to California if it’s too much.” Hyoyeon answered, squeezing Jessica’s hand that was laid on her lap.

Jessica shook her head before straightening up.

“No, I have signed those contracts. Four months won’t be that long.”

She smiled an assuring smile at her blonde friend.

It’s not like I’m going to see her again, anyway.