The painful screams that no one else can hear.

It had been three weeks she had seen the love of her life and since their break-up, one that she never got over. She never told anyone about what happened but had written every single detail in her journal before the parts could go missing. Her condition had gotten worse and so her journal was the only thing that could make her recall certain memories although most have faded away. Her attention span was getting shorter as her mind was constantly elsewhere which sometimes even worried her little niece. She couldn't even hold little Rahee because a baby was too heavy for her and she was constantly too tired to play but tried her best to entertain the baby anyway.

It was a bad decision, they said. You weren’t well enough, they said. Aerin still hopped onto the plane with the Chwe’s to watch Seventeen’s last concert in Japan. Despite all the arguments she went through with her parents, she still insisted to go and then her parents gave in and let her go. She felt like she needed to be there for him, at least just for one night. The past two weeks for her was just torture and to be able to see him on stage in his happiest state could may be give a peace of mind. He was part of her strength to get through her pain, afterall. 

Before the concert, the family and Aerin went to visit the boys backstage as they had the privilege, being Hansol's family.  Sofia held Aerin's hand when she saw the older losing her balance while walking towards the boys' waiting room. Sofia asked if she was okay in which it was obvious she was not but, Aerin shook the thought of wanting to worry Hansol's sister and assured her that she was fine.

When they entered the room, the boys greeted them with delight and went around to speak with their respective families, letting Hansol speak with his family privately. Aerin went to a corner instead, not wanting to interfere with their conversation, and placed a bouquet of flowers with a letter near his stuff and quickly disappeared from the room to look for a restroom with a palm clasped against her lips. As soon as she reached the sink, she spat out a huge amount of blood as she felt a little light headed. It scared her. Her heart was missing too many beats and she felt suffocated. But she wanted to watch the concert even if it was just awhile and so she gathered her limited strength and went back to the room. 

Hansol noticed Aerin reentering the room and she went to sit on a sofa, looking pale and tired. Her eyes were dead and her hair looked dull. Nevertheless, to his eyes Aerin was still the beautiful girl he had learned to love when they were younger. He wanted to approach her and tell her he wanted her back and ask her if she was alright but with his demons inside, the battle of his mind and heart ended with his mind winning. He had ignored her presence although Sofia and his parents had requested for him to talk to her. To his mind, she had wanted him to leave. He was just doing what he was told to. 

“The concert's going to start soon! Families, please exit the backstage!”

The stage manager had announced their call to leave. Sofia had helped Aerin up as she turned to look at Hansol one last time and met eyes with him. ‘Goodbye, Hansol.’ was what left her thoughts as she turned back and walked away.  Aerin felt Sofia's grip on her arm went tighter as Aerin was battling with her consciousness.

“Eonni, are you sure you're alright? We can go back to our hotel if you're not feeling well.”

“I'm fine, Sofia. Just a little jetlagged.”

Just jetlagged, she lied. Sofia didn't buy it at all but didn't want to argue with the older so she nodded and led her to the concert hall. Thousands of Carats filled the concert by the time it was about to start. Screaming fans at every corner. The family and Aerin sat on their seats and watched the concert with cheers and smiles. Aerin adored Hansol who was Vernon on stage, performing at his best. She and Sofia stood up during Fronting's stage as they sang along to especially Vernon's part which he wrote way back for Aerin. 

But all good things had come to an end, when Aerin felt her heart racing too fast as the music rang into her ears. She couldn't feel her body as she started gasping for air and started her chest. Sofia turned to her and screamed as she noticed the girl dropping to her knees and quickly caught her before her head knocked the railings across their seats. Aerin's world was dark and quiet just as the song ended. 

The family flew back to Korea with an emergency flight the Kim's had prepared for them when Mr. Kim received a call from Melody, Hansol's mom, saying Aerin had passed out during the concert and they were on their way to the airport in an ambulance. Mr. Kim immediately called his family with also the help of his secretary and gathered to the hospital where they waited for Aerin's arrival. Sofia was crying in fear when she saw Aerin being brought into the surgery room, unconcious and pale as ever.

Aerin was like an older sister to her and losing her would be like losing apart of Sofia. 

<~TheWhiteRose~><~TheWhiteRose~>

Jongin was late. He was really late but he kept on running although he couldn't feel his feet after endless of practice. When he received the call from his father, he gathered his things and left the dance studio without explaining to s why. It was like Day 1 all over again. The company's building was just a few blocks away from the hospital where his sister was at but it felt like forever reaching it. His tears were running down his face as he pushed some of innocent citizens out of the way. All he wanted to do was go to his sister and be there for her before it was too late.

When he got there, his family and Hansol's family and Elizabeth were there waiting and praying in the waiting room. His sisters walked over to him and pulled him into a hug whilst they cried in his shoulders. He wanted to cry too but he needed to act strong for his family because everyone else was breaking down so he couldn't. His mother was crying on her father's shoulder as he shed a few tears too, probably afraid to lose his youngest daughter today. Nobody was talking but the room echoed with tears of Aerin's loved ones. 

<~TheWhiteRose~><~TheWhiteRose~>

Seventeen's concert ended with a success. The boys celebrated with joy and thanked all their staff and fans, of course. The boys went back to the room where they took pictures and rested a bit before changing into their normal clothes and prepared to leave to have their celebration dinner. Hansol went over to where he left his jacket and some other things and noticed a bouquet of white roses and a letter. 

To Dearest Hansol Oppa,

You might be upset with my decision of letting you, us, go

and wish for me to disappear from your life completely. 

I'm sorry, oppa. I never meant to hurt you in ways that even I couldn't imagine.

I lied to you, too. 

But, I had my many reasons why. I won't be able to explain to you of them but maybe one day you'll understand.

If you ever hear news of me, that will probably the last you'll ever hear.

I'm sorry I hid things from you and lied. 

But, Hansol, I pray after this letter you'll find yourself love that I could never provide you enough with.