She stared at the small pink box beside her bed as she pulled her legs close to her chest. It was a gift from her mom, a gift that she always gets every time she came from a business. It’s probably a key chain or a snow globe or something that is very popular to that country because the top of her shelf is full with these kinds of knick knacks that she receives from her mom.

She kind of felt bad that she might not get the chance to see these countries. So she just views it from these little things and imagines herself that she’s there. Ever since she was a child, she would look at it before she sleeps and wish that she would dream of it to be in those places. But as she gets older, she realized that those places will only be viewed through her dream and nothing more. She doesn’t blame her mom or anybody because the problem was her.

It was always her.

She sighed as she placed the box inside her drawer. She’s tired of getting her hopes up and she’s done dreaming of it. She’s just going to tell her mom to stop giving her those gifts and just placed it in her office so that it could give a balance beside the books and paper works lying on her office.

“Ms. Kang,” Nurse Jung suddenly came inside her room as she bowed.

“Do you need something, Nurse Jung?”

She looked down as she fiddled with her clean, trimmed fingernails. She noticed her sudden nervousness shown by her small habit as she started to get worried. “Is something wrong?”

“Doctor Kang wants to see you.”

“W-why?”

“I think she knows.” She worriedly answered as she tensed up. She firmly nodded as she built up her courage to face whatever comes after she sees her own mother. “Okay. Don’t worry, Nurse Jung. I’ll talk to her.” She gave her a reassuring smile as she nodded.

She hardly gulped as she walked through the deserted path of hell. Her hands were balled in a fist as she slowly passed the white, blank walls. She wiped her sweaty palms on her dress before knocking on her door.

“Come in.” A stern voice ordered as she slowly twisted the door knob.

“You want to see me?” She bravely said but the nervousness on her voice can be heard. Her mother slowly looked up as she greeted her with the same expression. Not even an ‘I miss you.’ Or a ‘How was your week?’ and she was used to it.

“Yea.” She shortly answered as she continued her work. This was always the scenario. Every time she enters her office, she’s always busy with a bunch of her paper works without even acknowledging her with a hug or anything that a mother would do when she sees her daughter.

“I heard that you were gone for a week. Mind telling me where you stayed?” Of course she would know. She owns this goddamn hospital that even the walls and doors have ears. She knew that she would find out anyway so she didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care about hiding it to her. She was going to tell her the truth anyway and she’s going to confront her. She gathered up all her courage as she had a serious expression.

“I stayed at Jongin’s dorm.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you ask me about it if you already know.”

“Because I want you to explain it to me straight to my face why you stayed at his dorm for a week.”

She was surprised by her answer not because of the sudden rising of her voice but the nerve to ask her that kind of question when she’s the only reason why she did that. That was it. She already reached her limit. She couldn’t take her anymore. She couldn’t take her stupid rules and everything. It was already too much.

“Then explain to me it straight to my face why you told Jongin to stop seeing me.” She retorted. She looked at her, still with the same face as she scoffed, “So he told you that.”

“Yes, mom! He did.”

“I did that to protect you.” She answered.

It was her turn to scoff and give her a unbelievable look, “Protect me from what? From Jongin? What could he possibly do to me?”

“You’re going to get hurt! You two are going to get hurt!” She exclaimed.

“He loves me, Mom. And I love him, too.”

“I know. That’s why I’m scared. I’m scared that you’ll love him too much.”

“Mom, I’m 18 now. At least let me take control of my own life. At least let me be happy.” She said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“You don’t get it, Sojin.” She softly said as her eyes were already red.

“What? What is it?”

“You two are different!” There. She already said it. She already admitted the reason why she did that to you and Jongin. She was scared. She’s scared that you two will get hurt in the end if the two of them will continue their relationship. She’s different from Jongin, that’s what she thought. She’s not the same as Jongin. She’s not healthy just like Jongin.

“Mom! I’m human, too. I have feelings. I want to know how a kiss would feel like. I want to know how to love someone. I want to know how to be loved. And I want to know the feeling of getting hurt.” She cried as she wiped the tears on her cheeks. Her mom looked down as tears started to stream down.

“Let me love Jongin just like how I love you.” She said as she walked towards her. She knelt down beside her as she looked at her with pleading teary eyes. “Allow me to be human, too.” She muttered.

She looked at her as she took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll allow you to love Jongin just like how you love me. Or even more.” She proclaimed as her lips curved into a smile. “Thank you, Mom! Thank you!” She said as she pulled her into a tight hug.

She closed the door of her office as a smiled formed on her face. It felt like a thousand tons has been lifted from her. She felt relieved.

She felt happy.