I still cried. I'm leaving for Australia. I called Yoona to go to my house. She was shocked to see how big my house was.

Yoona: Is something wrong?

me: Yoona. Do you have plans to go abroad?

Yoona: Maybe. Why?

me: My parents are sending me to australia. I asked them if you could come along and they agreed. All I need is your approval. 

Yoona: Sure. You're my best friend. I'll go with you. I know you cried. I know why.

me: yoona. I don't want to go.

Yoona: you love him. I know. We know.

me: i don't love him!

Yoona: Thailand. I know what happened between you and Donghae. Look, if all that meant nothing to you, it meant a lot to Donghae. Enjoy your last 3 months together. After that, we will be going to australia.

me: sure.

Yoona went home after. I looked for the book which had my bookmark with my name and a heart with a D on the corner. I cried myself to sleep. For the next months, I spent most of my time with the boys but mostly with Donghae. I would allow him to touch me without hurting him. We would study together and it hurts everyday that I loved you more. Graduation day came. The day I feared the most.

Donghae: After graduation, let's eat outside.

me: Donghae-ah.

He kissed my cheek. I don't allow him to do that but I'm about to leave in a few hours. I graduated 3rd honor. It felt good. Yoona was 5th. After graduation, we ate at a restaurant. I enjoyed it but the pain was greater. Donghae grabbed my hand and said that we were gonna return. We went to the Han River.

Donghae: I know we're just friends but what we have is not ordinary.

me: donghae, no.

donghae: be my girlfriend?

me: I.. I can't...

donghae: i'm rushing right? I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I love you so much and that I'll wait for you.

me: NO! I can't! You don't understand!

Donghae: is something wrong?

me: I and Yoona are leaving for Australia in a few hours.

Donghae: what?

me: I can't do anything. I'm sorry I didn't tell you things sooner.

I ran away as tears fell from my face. Donghae returned to the restaurant alone.

Kangin: Yah! Where's _____-ah?

Donghae: She's...

Yoona: She told you already? She shouldn't.

Siwon: Is something wrong? 

Yoona: i'm sorry to tell you. We were supposed to tell you that we will leave for australia in a few hours.

Eunhyuk: donghae. I'm sorry.

Siwon: Yoona. 

Yoona: Siwon-ah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you too. I'm sorry to everyone. We will finish our studies there.

Yoona left crying. She went to my house crying too. We fixed our clothes and left the house. Kyuhyun was standing outside my house.

me: Yoona, could you check if we left anything in the house.

Yoona: sure.

Kyuhyun: why?

me: leaving without telling you? I'm afraid of losing all of you.

Kyuhyun: Fine. I'll forgive you this time. *hugs* I'm gonna miss you. I wish I could be with you but I can't. *let's go*

me: I'm sorry. I'll return. I promise.

We went to the airport. I turned before riding the plane. This is gonna be the last time I'm looking at korea. It will take years before we could return. We arrived at Australia. Life wasn't hard. People were nice and all. I tried to talk to everyone. I'd still bully Eunhyuk and misses Donghae and Kyuhyun the most.

I spent the next 5 years in college. I used to talk to the guys at least once a week but it came to a point that I could only talk to them once a month. Until I couldn't talk to them anymore. I heard that the guys all went to the army at the same time. I waited for 2 years since i know that going to Korea will mean nonsense. There will be times I would cry and Yoona will comfort me. Yoona kept in touch with the guys more than I did. 

It has been almost 8 years since I left Korea. I looked at my old photos, especially me and Donghae when we were at Thailand. I talked to Yoona and she agreed. We're returning to Korea.