“The thing is...” Seunghyun started, his posture heavy, his tone bitter.

“A while back, my mom found out about me. Much in the same way she found out about us the other day, completely disregarding other people's privacy and basic rights as always, barging into my room for some reason or other. Well, let's just say, the version you saw was the fluffy bunny version. Just be thankful you weren't there to witness the fallout when she realized her only son, and more importantly the heir to her real baby, the company, was as gay as the day was long.” he paused briefly, bracing himself for the wave of pain his memories were sending his way. Daesung felt so helpless. He wished there was a way he could take his pain away. If need be, he was prepared to take his place, taking on all of his past and present agony. As long as Seunghyun was happy and free from his painful past, Daesung could deal with whatever came his way. He moved a little closer, reaching his hand out to comfort him, but Seunghyun flinched and backed up to the very end of the sofa.

“After a failed attempt at gay-cure-camp, an experience I'd rather not talk about, so please don't ask, she laid down the law and presented me with an ultimatum. I had to lay off boys or she would disown me and I wouldn't see her nor her money ever again.” Seunghyun sighed, avoiding eye-contact.

“Well, now it's time to collect. She's enforcing the ultimatum. I can either marry the daughter of a big conglomerate that my mom has her eye on, facilitating a smooth merger, or I can make myself disappear, with the added bonus of my mom blacklisting me at every company she has any influence in, just to make absolutely sure that I'd end up on the streets. Motherly love and all that.” he clenched his teeth in an effort to hold back the tears. He looked like he couldn't decide between being devastated or furious, a warring mixture of both emotions threatening to tear him apart. Daesung swallowed a gasp. He felt like bursting into tears, wanting to throw himself into his arms, but he couldn't be that selfish. He had to be the stronger one now, he had to set his feelings aside and become a rock that Seunghyun could lean on.

“Ever since she first found out, I've been siphoning all that I could into a secret account, just in case, and my plan was to finish high school guy-free and then just disappear from her life for good, on my terms, ridding myself of all her crap. But now I'm not so sure...” he bit his lower lip, shaking his head. He looked completely drained, like he hadn't slept for at least a week.

“I barely managed to save enough for myself. I never expected to... I never dreamed that I... that I'd be so lucky to find someone like you.” he looked ever so briefly into Daesung's eyes, the intensity of their sadness breaking Daesung's heart.

“It's nowhere near enough for us both to live on, especially since my chances for employment are a guaranteed zero, my mom will make sure of that, spewing her poison into every corner of this country.”.

Seunghyun went silent. Daesung was starting to think he had finished speaking, when his quivering lips finally braved another word.

“I went to see her. The girl.”. It was barely a whisper, but yet it had the power to cut through Daesung's heart, sharper than a knife, cutting it right in half.

“She lives in Seoul and she's perfectly nice. Nothing like our snake-like parents that care about nothing except the bottom line, which had better say profit, profit, profit or there'd be hell to pay.” he said like he was justifying something. Daesung couldn't believe it. He refused to believe Seunghyun would even consider it.

“No. No. Don't.” were the only words Daesung managed to form, for there was absolute chaos going on in his mind.

“Daesung-ah...” he said with the softest part of his voice.

“No.. don't you dare...” Daesung warned him, angry that he would dare use his name like that, trying to appease him when he had every right to be furious.

“If I'm penniless, then I'm useless to you. I wouldn't be able to take care of you or your mom, I could do nothing for you and I'd only become a burden, holding you back. I'm not good at being poor. I have no job prospects and no practical skills, and so I have no means to support us out in the real world.” he started explaining.

“Not this again.” Daesung sighed. He thought they had been over this already. He wasn't some delicate flower that Seunghyun had to take care of, he could take care of himself. He had been taking care of himself and his mom for as long as he could remember. He wasn't some invalid. He didn't require round the clock care. He just needed Seunghyun by his side, that would make even the most brutal hardships bearable.

“Look, I thought about it like I promised. I remember each and every cute little word that came out of that cute little mouth of yours, and I would like nothing more than to have a happy ending to our beautiful fairytale. But this isn't a Disney movie, Daesung, it's time to return to reality. And it's harsh. It's so harsh that it's hard to breath sometimes. But these are the cards we have been dealt, so the only thing we can do is to play them as best we can.” Seunghyun reached out his hand, now it was Daesung's turn to flinch. He was not going to be lulled into going along with this, like a clueless sheep on its way to the slaughterhouse.

“You don't know my mom. She would never leave us be. Me being happy would mean that she failed and she doesn't do failure. And if I can't have you, I don't want anyone at all, so I might as well marry that girl. That would mean I could pay back your mom's debts and make it possible for you to live a comfortable life. It would allow me to make a difference in your life. I can't be the one to make it harder, I just can't...” Seunghyun's voice trailed off, his face scrunched up in anguish. Daesung could feel his anger dissipate as he felt just how much Seunghyun cared about him. He knew he loved him, that wasn't the problem. It was that he refused to fight for them. He was giving up before the real fight even began. He gathered up what was left of his anger and irritation, he was going to need the fumes to knock some serious sense into him.

“I would rather be poor and happy, than have all the money in the world.” he began in earnest, but Seunghyun interrupted him at once.

“Come on, that's just talk. Empty words that won't feed you when you're starving because you can't even afford a cup of ramen. The world is never going to accept us. We are only two people, we are no match for the world. Talking is easy, but have you even told your mom about you?” he said a little too pointedly. Daesung resented that he would stoop so low as to use his mom against him. It made him mad how unfair he was being, but in his heart he knew he was right. If he didn't even dare tell his mom about them, who was he to declare a war against the world. He had been a coward, he admitted it. But heroes weren't born, they were made. Made by making the right decisions, not the easy ones.

“Well, then let's make the world see! It will never accept us or anyone like us, unless we fight for it! I'll tell my mom, no problem, and then I'll fight for us every single day until the day she accepts us. There is no limit to what we can accomplish, only if we stay together.” he waved his fist in the air, trying to be inspirational. He believed in what he was saying, he just wished Seunghyun would believe in it too.

“That's a very sweet, albeit naive, view of the world. It's part of why I fell for you, you only see the good in everything and everyone. But I can't let my weakness for beautiful smiling angels ruin your life. I've thought a lot about this, and I keep coming back to the fact that there is but one rational solution, and even if you're not willing to accept it, I have to do what's best for us. For you.” he grabbed both of Daesung's hands and refused to let them go even though Daesung tried to pull back.

“My sweet, huggable Dae-bear, I'm out of time. I have to go. I've already stayed way too long. My mom hired a private detective to follow me, to make sure I held up my end of the bargain, so I won't be able to come see you again. I shouldn't even be here right now, I just had to see you one last time. To explain. To say goodbye. And to thank you for everything you've given me. You don't even know. My heart will only ever see you.” his voice shook slightly and he squeezed Daesung's hands so hard that it hurt. Or maybe it was just his heart that was hurting. Seunghyun stood up, preparing to leave.

“No! Wait! I decided to do the audition... I can't do it without you. You started this, you have to see it through to the finish. You can't just leave me...” he pleaded through the waterfall that was now flowing down his cheeks, holding on to Seunghyun's little finger for dear life, trying to prevent him from reaching the front door.

“You have to come with me to the audition, I can't do this alone.” he begged. He knew he sounded pathetic, but he didn't care. Seunghyun stopped in the middle of the hallway, turning to him, his expression much softer than before.

“You are stronger than you think. I believe in you. I'm not as strong as you, I'm sorry. I can't take on the whole world...” he forced his lips into an unconvincing smile.

“Here.” he put something in his hand. It was a lobster phone decoration. “I'll always be with you.” he lifted his own phone up to show him he had the exact same lobster decoration already attached to it. Then it hit him. He was really leaving him. He was dead serious.

Daesung threw the lobster on the floor in protest, looking him straight in the eyes with a fiery stare of objection. He wasn't just going to roll over and take it. He wasn't ready to give up on them. He didn't want a life that didn't include Seunghyun. No way.

Seunghyun let out a sad sigh. “We'll always be together in here.” he said as he pointed to his chest, right on the spot where his heart was. Then he leaned in and whispered into his ear in a severely shaky voice, “..and it's okay if you fall in love again, I want you to be happy...”. He kissed his cheek lightly as he pulled away. Daesung turned his head with the speed of lightning, grabbing the collar of Seunghyun's shirt to stop him long enough to be able to plant a short, desperate kiss on his lips. And then he was gone. Out the door and out of his life.