BGM: V.O.S - End of the Day

 

Seo Hyun’s P.O.V

A Squeeze.

It felt like a hard rough squeeze. My heart throbbed crazily. It’s not that I had never felt this kind of pain before. But what was I felt just now, somewhat…..worse than…ever. Never I feel this weak heart throbbed like crazy and being squeeze so damn hard like this. It feels so hurt to the point that I’m hardly breath and even just to keep my eyes opened.

“Ah….” I moaned faintly, clutching my shirt, hoping that it will erase the pain away, though nothing changed, actually.

Andwae. Oppa’s not supposed to see me in this state. I can’t be seen like this by him. No. Not now. Not yet. I’m not ready to tell him. I’m not ready yet. What if he left me after I tell him everything? What if he thinks that…in the end I’ll be such an ill-pathetic-useless wife and…and…he finally made up his mind, then back to his ex-girlfriend, which is a way more perfect than me?

No. Andwae. Shiro. Jinjja shiro.

I know I’m selfish, but I don’t want my husband run for another woman. I want him for my own. My very own.

So, as much as I endure this crazy squeeze and throbbing heart inside me, I pull him up and slightly pushed him to the stair. I need to get him out of here, or else he’s going to find out what’s happening to me.

And I succeed to shoo-ing him away and prevent him to see me in this horrible condition. But after he left, another pain attacked me. And it hurts, so bad, I reach for the kitchen counter again, grabbing something to hold as I try hard to bear the pain inside. I grasp a plate, but  another huge attack was coming that made me drop the plate on the floor and causing an ugly breaking sound all over the kitchen.

That made me alert. Oppa must be heard it. He must be heard it and that makes me afraid. No, I don’t want him to see me like this. But, the pain is just unbearable to the point that I can no longer hold it and finally my knees lost its strength and causing me fell on the floor, just right next to the scattered pieces of the plate that was just dropped by me.

Holly God. No. Just don’t let Yong Oppa heard it and witnessing me like this.

 “Hyun?”

Damn. So it was right, he heard it.

This is midnight and his voice’s echoing clearly around the house. But, I’m just too weak to give him an answer. It was so hard for me even to just open my eyes and keep my consciousness. I try to make a sign so he can see me, but like I said, I’m just too weak.

 “SEO JOO HYUN?!”

Oh. He finally found me. Though my vision’s so blurry but I can see him rushing at me and squatting down right next to me afterwards.

“God. Oh my God Hyun-ah, what happened?” he asked me, in a panic tone.

I heard him, actually, and I can see him also, which is I’m trying so hard to pull up these stupid eyelids that for some reasons felt sooo heavy. So I just made a faint voice instead.

“Kwaen…canha..yo…” I said, as I try to get up but it’s such a failure.

I heard him gasping and hold me in his arm, prevent my body to fall down on the floor and worse, got the scattered sharp pieces of the plate scratch my body.

“Mwoga kwaencanha?” He asked, slightly raising his voice.

“Hold me…” he added.

Afterwards, he carried me in his arms, and lifted me from the floor, and in return, I linked my arms around his neck, and tried to hold him, as tight as I could. Being in his arms, and there’s no boundary between me and him, I could hear his heartbeats, its beating so fast, just like a sound of drum from those teenage rock bands nowadays. He was so warm, and her warmth was comforting me, despite those crazy heartbeats that I heard from his heart.

Is he really worried about me? Is he scared if I leave him?

Leave? Me? Leaving him?

Could I?

Those thought of mine make me hold him tighter. The realization that my “time” seems coming in a matter of months, has alert me, that is, right now. I just want to hold him, as tight as I could, as long as I could.

There’s nothing I want in this world but to hold you tight, oppa.

So, may I?

I close my eyes as I feel that I can no longer tears that was threatening to fall, finally…escaped from my eyes.

 “Hy—Hyun… Whe—where does it hurt?”

I heard him asked me, I open my eyes and found his eyes are staring so deep at me, and he looks…..worried?

Jinjjayo?

“Please…don’t cry… Just—just please answer me….”

He asked me again, with a slight trembling voice while wiping my tears with his thumb. I could see there’s even bead of sweat in his forehead. I could feel his trembling body that was slightly made my body shook. Then I realized, I was on his lap, he’s still carrying me as he sat on the couch at the living room.

“Hyun-ah…what makes you like this?”

I blinked. I try to answer him but I just couldn’t find my voice. Something makes my throat feels so dry. I don’t know. Was it because of his worried look, or was it because this proximity, or was it because, being held in his arms like this was….something I don’t even dare to imagine.

So I blinked, again. For the second time. Just to make sure that this is reality, that this is not my foolish dream.

He was frowning while observing my face.

“Are you being ill when I was in Anyang? Then why didn’t you tell me? Ah. I remember. You’ve been overworked for the whole week, you must be drained all of your energy. Hyun-ah let’s get you to—“

“I’m fine”

He rambled, so I cut him. I even put a smile after I finish my words. Maybe I was just tired, well—despite my real condition, I think I was fell because I’m tired, too tired, everything makes me tired actually.

He opened his mouth again, maybe he was about to ask me, but then we heard omma calls us, follow by her footsteps towards us.

“Joo Hyun-ah, Yong Hwa-yah, what happ-- Ommo!” She gasped while staring at us.

I drifted my gaze to my mom and she was rooted in her position. Come to think of it, maybe she feels awkward…well, I was on Yong oppa’s lap while he holds me and my arms are still circling his neck.

Probably she had………misinterpreted us.

“I’m sorry, I heard something got broke and—” She paused, when she takes a good look at me. Just then she realized that we’re not having some kind of quality times, but that was because of me who was collapsed earlier.

“Oh my God, something’s happening with you, dear?” Omma asked as she took another stepped closer towards us.

“You look so pale….” She commented, while sitting on another couch near us.

“Omma, I’m fine…just….a little bit dizzy…..” I explained.

“Ommoni, was Joo Hyun got ill when I was in Anyang?”

Omma was about to answer him but I cut her, I know it’s impolite, but I’m afraid omma will tell him about my current condition, so I’d better stop her.

“Aniyo. I’m fine, right, omma?” I throw my eyes at her, slightly wiggle my brows as a sign for her to just second my words.

Omma looks uneasy, though. Because, well…..omma doesn’t tell lie.

So I continue my words, “I was just….haven’t much rest nowadays, just like what you said oppa, overworked…yeah….overworked”

Finally. I had my explanation. I finish my words as I tried to break free from his embrace, and shift my body next to him, but out of my logic. He held my wrist and stopped my move. He pulls me and holds me in his embrace again, as he starts to stand up.

“Ommoni, we’ll go to Joo Hyun’s room, I’m gonna check her condition”

My mom also followed him to stand up from her seat, as she nodded her head repeatedly.

“Ne…ne… Please do so, Yong Hwa…”

“NO!” I shouted, unconsciously.

Both omma and Yong oppa are looking at me with widened eyes, maybe they don’t expect that I could shout that loud.

“I said I’m fine, I was just—“

“Okay, then let’s get you to the hospital”

I gasped and was about to argued Yong oppa but he said his words first.

“If you don’t want me to check you, then let’s go to the hospital, it’s better afterall, since I just bring my stethoscope here”

“But oppa--I”

“So what do you say?” He asked, still with a stern voice, and stared at me coldly, maybe he was started to feel irritated because I kept object him.

For me, it’s like choosing between hamburger and pizza. Both of the choices are not good for me, I hate both. But……still, I have to choose.

“Just…don’t bring me to the hospital…” I said in whisper.

I could see him smiling in victory, “Well then, we go with the first choice?”

“Ne…” I answered weakly.

“Okay, now oppa will change to be your personal doctor” he said and put that mischievous smile, keeping me close to his body and started to walk, but after taking two steps, he paused and bent his head to look at me.

“Hyun-ah….is it that hard to hold me? Or do you want to fall once we’re on the stairs?”

I frowned, “Huh?”

“Hold me. Put your arms on my neck, palli…” He said, sounded like whining to be honest.

I feel my cheeks are blushing so hard, I don’t know why, but….maybe because there’s something like people used to call “butterflies in stomach”.

So I do what he told me.

I hold him, tight. I don’t want to ever let him go, actually.

God, would you mind to let me hold him like this, forever?

Please….

Just, please…

End of P.O.V

***

Once they’ve finally got into Seohyun’s room, Yong Hwa put her down on the bed carefully, and when he was sure enough that Seohyun’s body was laid properly on the bed, he reached for his backpack and started to squash the content, trying to find the stethoscope.

And for Seohyun, she was already sweaty so hard, all over her body even. She felt so dead already thinking that in a minute Yong Hwa would surely find out about her illness. She kept thinking that she’s not ready yet, well, truth to be told she’ll never be ready to utter about her illness to Yong Hwa. She searched for her mother eyes, where Mrs. Seo was sitting at the edge of the bed beside her while clutching her hand so tight, then mouthing “Eotteokhaeyo?” to her omma. Mrs. Seo was just giving her an encouraging smile, nodding her head and mouthing “Kwaencanhayo”. Honestly, Mrs. Seo felt a bit relieved because just in time, Yong Hwa would know about her daughter condition, so she could a little bit at ease, because beside her and her husband, somebody would surely take care of Seohyun’s well, and the fact that Yong Hwa’s a surgeon, got Mrs. Seo be optimistic that Yong Hwa could help her, he could be the savior that God had sent for her daughter.

“Aish! Where is it?”

Yong Hwa’s grumbled broke the silence, and both Seohyun and her omma turned their head to look at Yong Hwa, who was busy took out everything from his backpack and put it aside.

“Waeyo Yong Hwa?” Mrs. Seo asked.

“………Err… I can’t find my stethoscope ommoni…” Yong Hwa answered, as he ruffled his hair and scratch it though it wasn’t itchy at all.

Oh God thanks God! Seohyun shouted in her mind.

She was spontaneously got up and was in a sit position as she said “Just leave it oppa, I’ve told you, I’m fine, I’m alright, just a little bit tired”

Yong Hwa sighed and stopped messing his things, and turned his body to face Seohyun.

“You’re happy that I’ve forgot to bring my stethoscope, aren’t you?”

Seohyun couldn’t help to curved a smile, and it was enough for Yong Hwa to found out that her answer was a “Yes” through her expression.

“Tch! Jashik! Ommoni….look Joo Hyun made a joke at me…” Yong Hwa whined, as he stepped closer to her mother.

“What jokes? Oppa? What are you talking about?” Seohyun asked in confused.

Mrs. Seo was shook her head and smiling widely, she didn’t know why, but she found that it was cute though. Sensing that her presence was no longer needed there and Seo Hyun was no longer looking pale, Mrs. Seo decided to excuse herself and got back to her room.

“Well….seems like this old woman would just a disturbance for the newlyweds, I’d better get back to my room…” Mrs. Seo said, then she kissed Seo Hyun’s forehead.

She could  witnessing Seohyun’s cheeks flushed red in instant just because of that small tease.

“I’ll leave her on you then, Yong Hwa, please take care of my daughter well…” Mrs. Seo stated with a calm yet firm tone.

It made him alert and Yong Hwa slightly bowed his body, and answered “I will ommoni, I promise. I’ll make sure she’ll be going to the hospital tomorrow”

His answer made Seohyun looked at him in horror. True, Seohyun was gong home to Busan to meet doctor Jang at the hospital tomorrow, but since the very first, she planned to meet doctor Jang alone, just by herself, not with Yong Hwa.

Mrs. Seo smiled in relieved and nodded her head “Putthakhaeyo…”, then she left the room afterwards, leaving Seohyun who was still timid, while Yong Hwa was bowing low behind her mother-in-law back.

When the door closed, Seohyun started to argue her husband again “Oppa, why’d you bring up about the hospital again? I thought we had agreed that it was you who will look after me, but what now?”

Seohyun was near to throw her tantrums on him through questions, feeling irritated already.

Yong Hwa just ignored her though, instead he walked to her bed and stared at her eyes before finally he pulled her wrist.

“Oppa what are—“

“Could you please be calm for a bit, buin? Your nampyeon just want to check your pulse…”

It was warm. It was so heartwarming. Seohyun had no idea how Yong Hwa’s simple word could bring those kind of warmth to her heart, to the point that she felt her vision got blurry again by tears.

Buin…. Does he really look at me as his buin?

She cursed herself for being such a crybaby, and could be this silly if it relates to Yong Hwa. She even forgot her intention to pull her wrist from Yong Hwa’s hands. She looked at Yong Hwa’s thumb who was seeking the right part to so he could feel her pulse well. Then she threw her gaze to his face, he looked calm at first before finally her brows furrowed as he looked at Seo Hyun.

“Hyun-ah, do you feel something pained your chest?”

BAM!

That brings Seo Hyun to the reality and in instant she pulled her hand from him.

“Do you feel that pain often? How often?” Yong Hwa asked her again.

 “…….I…I….”

“Those kind of pulse often showed the unstable heartbeats, Hyun-ah….answer me, do you often feel any pain in your heart?” Yong Hwa asked her with a careful tone, trying hard to sounds normal, as he started to feel uneasy.

Though he couldn’t diagnose it precisely yet, but, somehow….something was scaring him. It feels like, there’s a bomb inside his heart that was ready to explode in a minute.

Seo Hyun looked at her with a scared look, just like a thief that was got caught by the police. But her stubborn self remained the same, she didn’t want to let Yong Hwa find out her condition. She didn’t want Yong Hwa pitied her, and if ever he choose to stay by her side it was only out of the obligation, it was only because he doesn’t have a heart to leave an ill woman like her alone.

Pity.

All the reasons that made him stay by her side was only because he pitied her.

Thus she was thinking so hard to find an excuse. And when she closed her eyes. The first thing that popped in her mind was him, and that woman, on the jewelry shop.

The scene that Seo Hyun had really wanted to forget ever since she seen it. But, somehow, it only pounded even deeper in her memories as time goes by.

By that, she could find her strength and braveness, so with all confidence she had she looked up and stared deeply into his eyes.

3 seconds passed before she finally took a deep breath and gave her answer.

“Ne….I feel pain in my heart, I….. I….often feel it” she started.

Yong Hwa frowned as he felt his breathe was racing, just in a second his mind was already full of worries. He was about questioned her again, in order to gained another information about her condition, since he was feeling uneasy and couldn’t slipped it off, but Seo Hyun already cut him with the sentence that he never thought she would utter.

“It was because of you” She started, eyes not leaving his.

Yong Hwa blinked and started to feel hard to inhale the oxygen.

 

“….I often feel pain in my heart because of you, oppa”

By that, he realized that what Seohyun means with “heart” wasn’t what he means “heart” as the part of body.

It was simply made him frozen, his eyes couldn’t left hers though.

In a split of second, Seo Hyun’s room feel suffocating for him.

 “……Did you even know about that?”

Her voice started to turned into a whisper as he could heard that her voice was started to trembled, and even worse, because in his ear he could tell that she asked that to him with a hurt tone.

“…..Hyun-ah…” He said, didn’t know anything to say but that word, since he was too guilty, too surprised, and too embarrassed for what had he done before to her.

Seohyun closer her eyes as she wiped her tears roughly with both hands. Afterwards, she got back to laid down on her bed, and said “Cut this hospital topic oppa, I’m tired and I need a rest, after that I’ll be so much better. You’d better have a rest too. Good night oppa”

It was broke her heart how Seo Hyun said that with a cold voice, without even looking at him, and even turned her body so she got her back on him.

He feels so small, he feels like trash, he feels that he’s really nothing.

So, with a heavy sigh, Yong Hwa decided to get out of the bed and headed to the bathroom, feeling he really needed a cold shower, hoping that it would clear up his already messy mind.

Please don’t let it be late for me and her, God…

***

Witnessing the little argument that her children made, was somehow….bring a tingling sensation for Mrs. Seo. Seeing them like that made her lips curved a smile, without even her notice. At first, she was so worried that they arranged-married wouldn’t turn out well, they just knew each other less than a month before they finally get married and became a husband and wife. They barely know each other, they have no times to find out what food they like best, what books Joo Hyun’s often read, or what songs Yong Hwa’s often listen, what would it be when Joo Hyun’s upset about something and what would it be when Yong Hwa’s not in the mood for talking, no….both Yong Hwa and Seo Hyun has no time to dig it up. She turned even more worried, the second her only daughter finally has to live together with her husband.

Did Yong Hwa treat my daughter well? Did he ever make her cry? Did he shout at her when he’s angry? Could he love my daughter, just like what Joo Hyun feels for him?

Those kinds of questions were often bothering her. It wasn’t because she doesn’t trust Yong Hwa, nor it wasn’t because she has that negative thoughts about her son-in-law, but, Joo Hyun is her only child, her only daughter, Joo Hyun’s the treasure for her and Mr. Seo, and also, she knew that Seohyun’s in love with this Jung Yong Hwa, ever since a long long time ago.

It’s easy for her, it’s the “mother nature” they said, she knew that Yong Hwa is her daughter’s first love, though Joo Hyun had never told her directly about it, but she knew that every time Joo Hyun told her a story about this one guy, it’s about Yong Hwa. Even when Joo Hyun finally told her about another namja, named Song Joong Ki, but she always ended up compared this Song Joong Ki with her Yong Hwa oppa whom she met when she was just 13 years old. So, Mrs. Seo was more than happy when they ended up being a husband and wife. She was so happy, even a way happier than the bride herself on Joo Hyun’s wedding day. But, it was her daughter’s wedding we’re talking about, and there would be no one in this world that could be happier than her seeing that finally, finally one of her daughter’s biggest dream comes true, despite all of the conditions back then.

True, she was happy, she even teared up, for a happy one of course. But, deep down inside, she also feels a bit sorry for her daughter. Because at that time, as a grown up woman, and as a wife, she could see that there’s no love yet from Yong Hwa’s side for her daughter, though he treats Joo Hyun well in front of everybody, and she knew that he treats her well too even behind their back, but something still bothering her. No…it’s not like she assumed that Yong Hwa was only pretending in treat her daughter well, no, it wasn’t like that. But, in Mrs. Seo’s eyes, her son-in-law had done that out of the politeness, out of the obligation as a husband, and it’s not love. It’s not a love, yet. She concluded.

Maybe he needs more time than Joo Hyun.

She repeated it million times in her mind to make her feel at ease, and not to worry about her daughter.

Yong Hwa’s a good man, he will cherish, honor, and love my daughter, just like me and her father does.

Those sentences that she always kept in her minds whenever she felt worried about Seo Hyun’s marriage.

After the marriage, Joo Hyun still calls her everyday, just to share her thoughts, to tell her about what has happened today at work, at her favorite coffee shop, just like what she actually did since her first move to Seoul and leave Busan when she got into the University. She always sounded cheerful when she was telling her mom about her daily life on the phone, but when Mrs. Seo asked about Yong Hwa, her tone was always changed in a second, the moment she aksed “Is Yong Hwa home already? What’s he doing right now?”. Upon hearing that, her Joo Hyun would just pause and sigh, until finally her cheerful tone turned into……a sad one, then she always answer with “Oppa’s not home yet, he’s having an emergency operation right now” or “Oppa is in his study room, preparing for tomorrow’s presentation” the answer would always be the same, it was always between those two. If not the former, then it would be the latter. After saying that, Joo Hyun would always end up saying “I wish omma and appa were here…” before finally she turned her voice into a cheerful one, though she still couldn’t hide that slightly sad tone from Mrs. Seo. She’s a mother after all, there’s a strong bonding between her and her Joo Hyun, so, it was easy for her to find out that even she didn’t know what actually happening between Joo Hyun and Yong Hwa, but she knew that something’s bothering her daughter, that behind her cheerful voice and laugh, there’s an emptiness that Joo Hyun felt inside.

She’s unhappy, in some ways.

Her daughter feels unhappy though she’s married with the only man that had always stay in her heart since forever.

And she feels sorry for that. She feels even a way sadder than her daughter. Silently, deep down her heart, she cursed herself for even letting Joo Hyun to marry with Yong Hwa. She should’ve objected her mother’s wish, she should’ve found another way for this matter, she should’ve prevented her daughter from shed tears.

She feels so failed as a mother.

Please forgive omma, Joo Hyun-ah….

Those words she kept uttered whenever she prayed. Begging for her daughter’s mercy through God.

She had suffered so much since she was just a little child, so now…. please, please just let her be happy…please never let her shed for even a single tear, God….just take my happiness and in return give it to her, give all of my happiness to her. Please…God….

Her husband, Mr. Seo would always tapped her shoulder and wiped her tears the second he found out his wife was tear up again, feeling worried of her daughter.

“She’s a woman now, not a longer our little Hyunnie. She’s a wife for a namja whom she loves so much. We should be happy for her, please don’t be worried too much about her yeobo… Yong Hwa will treat her well…”

Mr. Seo had said, and she would just nodded her head and put on a smile on her face in return. But no, her worries were still there. She was still afraid and couldn’t stop thinking of her daughter happiness. Because for her, even if now that she already a woman with a husband, Seo Joo Hyun, would always be her little daughter, her little daughter who hated darkness, who hated rat, who loved sunflower and goguma.

Mrs Seo feels like….that she could still hear her loud cries, she could still imagine her pale face, and she remembered how cold and trembled her daughter hands were, the second dr. Jang announced that Seohyun’s having a heart disorder called Heart Leak or in a medical terms it called Mitral Valve Regurgitation.

The moment they entered their house, Joo Hyun went straight to her room and locked the door. Mrs. Seo along with her husband were followed behind, but no matter what they knocked the door, Joo Hyun won’t even open it. It really broke her heart, the second she heard Joo Hyun cried her heart out inside her room and didn’t even let her parents stay by her side to comfort her.

At that time, Mrs. Seo thought that this is really what God’s called with doomsday, well, it’s a doomsday for her. Knowing her daughter was having a heart disorder was similar with facing a doomsday, if she could, if God lets her, she wouldn’t be hesitate to change her position and her destiny with her daughter, she could sell her soul to a satan if she could even. She won’t mind it, as long as she could always be by her daughter side, witnessing her growing beautifully, looking into her sparkling eyes and gorgeous smile for the longest time that she could. She couldn’t help to blame herself for what’s happening to Joo Hyun, when doctor Jang said that her daughter’s disease won’t be that anticipating if only they figure it out sooner, if they find out when Joo Hyun was still 5 or 6 years old, then that wouldn’t be a big deal, only medication and another medical treatment will surely heal her, but they had figure it out when Joo Hyun was already 18, her cardiac condition was already need a serious treatment, only medication wouldn’t heal her easily, she will be need a surgery, in time. There’s so much things that Joo Hyun needs to avoid, be it relates to foods, activity, weather, and even circumstances. Mrs. Seo couldn’t help to cursed and blame herself for those facts. If only…if only she didn’t ignore when little Joo Hyun often complaining about the bruises on her body. How could she thought that it was just because her daughter was just clumsy so she bumped her body on something sharp, or something with a hard surface, and she even think that maybe it was because Joo Hyun was having a little fight with one of her kindergarten’s friend.

She cursed herself even more, when she remembered how she, once again ignored her daughter’s complained, when she said “Omma, why does my palms always got sweaty? I really hate it because it makes my paper heron tore easily!”

Joo Hyun was in second grade of elementary school back then, and she got a new hobby which is making a heron with various colored paper that her father bought. Mrs. Seo thought that maybe it was just because she was too focused on making those paper herons until her palms got sweaty. So, she answered her daughter with “Aigoo…princess, it was just because you’re too focus, or maybe because the temperature’s too hot? Here…let’s make it together while waiting for appa, shall we?”

If only… If only she didn’t just brush it off. If only she didn’t let it slipped. Things won’t be this horrible.

“She’s only 18 God…. She’s only 18…. Why did you do this to her? Why not me? I’m an old woman, I have so much sins, I won’t complaining for having that kind of deadly disease if you let me, but why my daughter? Why it has to be my daughter? Why?”

Mrs. Seo cried in her husband embrace. Even having Mr.Seo’s hands rubbing her back didn’t comforted her, not even a bit. They were crying in front of Joo Hyun’s room. Both Mr. Seo and his wife couldn’t bear their tears any longer, though they knew that they have to look stronger in front of their daughter, but this was just too hard, they promised that this is the first and the last time to be this kind of childish and un-mature parents.

My Joo Hyun’s just 18 years old, she’s just a teenager, in this age she should be glowing, making a lot of friends, active in all student events, being a popular girl in her school, having a boyfriend and taking a cute selca on the patbingsoo stall with him, she should be the happiest in this age. But, what does she had? Everything that dr. Jang had explained to them were just simply buried all her dreams, all her happiness, and cause the beautiful smile on her face disappear.

3 hours passed and Joo Hyun finally unlocked the door, looking so pale, with a red nose, and puffy eyes, also a messy hair. Mrs. Seo, once again broke into pieces.

“Omma…Appa…..” Joo Hyun started her words, with a trembling voice, as she looked down at her parents that were hugging and crying while sitting on the floor.

“I….I don’t—I don’t want to die…. I want to live…Omma, I want to live… Appa I don’t want to die…”

Then she fell on the floor, was starting to cried out again, her soft cried turned into a louder one the moment her appa and omma hugged her.

“Who says you’re gonna die, huh? You won’t die, my princess, you won’t. Appa will never let it happen, sweetheart…” Mr. Seo said in between his sobbed. The hell with dignity as a father, who won’t cry witnessing his beloved and cheerful daughter crying so pitifully before him, telling him that she doesn’t want to die repeatedly.

“No one will take you away from me, no one. Omma will protect you, I promise, I promise I will protect you whatever it takes”

“……….I’m scared….I’m scared….” Joo Hyun said repeatedly in between her sobbed.

Hearing her Joo Hyun sobbed so pitifully like that broke both of Mrs. Seo and her husband’s heart into teeny tiny pieces.

At that night, they remained like that, hugging each other on the floor, crying their hearts out, bearing their lungs out, there’s no peaceful dinner, or cheerful smile in the living room like they used to have. In silence, they have the same wish, which is, they hope that time could just stop right there and then and let them be together like that. Holding each other, and never, ever want to let go.

Since then, she had promised herself that she will try hard to be an even better mother for her daughter, and though she admitted that no matter how hard she tries, she couldn’t prevent her daughter from having all of the sadness, but at least, she’ll be try hard to lessen the pain for her daughter to feel and she will try hard to always give her daughter happiness. Also, the most important thing is, she’ll always be there, for her Joo Hyun.

But tonight, how her two eyes being a witness of what she just saw, how Yong Hwa took care of her daughter, she mentally slapped her cheek because she had been worrying for nothing. Probably Yong Hwa’s feeling towards her daughter had finally changed, through times. Now, she dared to say that the way Yong Hwa treated Seo Hyun wasn’t only beyond the obligation, but it was how lovers treat each other.

And by that, Mrs. Seo turned off the lamp that was placed on her bedside table, and close her eyes with a smile still plastered on her lips.

Let my child be happy, forever, and always, God…

***

Around 30 minutes later, Yong Hwa had finished taking a shower and change his clothes into a t-shirt and a pajama’s pants, he was holding a small towel and was ruffled his wet hair. He took a step closer towards Seohyun’s bed, and to his disappointment because Seohyun seemed already have a deep sleep. So he proceed to her side and squatting down beside her. Though the room was quiet dark and there was only a dim light from the both bedside lamp, he still could see the trace of her tears in her cheek and the bridge of her nose.

Heaving a sigh, Yong Hwa talked to himself.

Once again, she was crying because of me, and I wasn’t even there to comfort her.

He put the small towel on the bedside table, then he sat down on the floor, stretching his legs and soon he took Seo Hyun’s hand that was holding the edge of her duvet.

He clasped her hand with his both hands and kissed it so lightly, as if he was afraid that it will broke her hand if he kissed her too deep. He clutched her right hand with his left hand while the other hand reached for her cheek and thumbing her tears away.

“Mianhae….” He whispered.

“……If only I could realize my feeling towards you a little bit sooner, we will surely find our happiness sooner, also. Right, Hyun?” He asked, still in a whisper, though.

Kissing her hand once again and rubbed it with his thumb. Then Yong Hwa got up, only to give Se Hyun a goodnight kiss on her forehead. Somehow, the kiss taste bitterly sweet in his lips, that made he felt his eyes started to warm and teary all of sudden.

“I love you, Joo Hyun…” he whispered in her ear as his tears made and escaped from the corner of his eyes.

There.

He finally found the courage to admit that he’s indeed loves his wife. He finally has the guts to say that he loves her, so much actually. Despite all of the conflicting situation that they face now, but, he doesn’t want to hold it any longer, he doesn’t want to let it slip anymore, he doesn’t want—once again—witnessing his wife hurting because of him but he could nothing to comfort her, to make her better.

It was enough. His stupidity was enough. He, himself, had enough for behaving like an @sshole ever since their marriage was started.

So, though Seohyun probably didn’t hear his confession yet, but he felt a bit relieved for he already confessing to her and he was planning to make it official. He promised himself to look for the right timing and confess once again to her properly. She deserves a way more better confession than this, of course. Yong Hwa had already made a scenario in his mind of how he’s going to confess to his wife. He should find the best timing as soon as possible.

 

And just like that, Yong Hwa spent his night with clutching Seohyun’s hand in his while he was sat on the floor and put his head at the edge of the bed, near his wife’s body. He didn’t care though there’s a possibility that his back and his legs would get numb at the morning, but this is what he really wants for now. Because with that, he was trying to tell his wife, that, in the future she doesn’t have to carry the pain alone, she doesn’t have to let herself hurting alone, bearing sadness after sadness by her own. Because from now on, he will always stay by her side, giving her his strength, take care of her, facing everything whatever will be happen in the future together, cherish every moment with her, and do everything that he has to do as a husband and also, as a man whom loves his woman.

***

Seohyun stirred and lowly she opened her eyes and turned her head the left only to find that it was still 5.30 am, then she felt like her stomach was bumping into something and also she could feel that something warm was covering her hand.  

What was it?

She was frowning and was trying hard to made her eyes opened fully. She blinked once…twice…trying to get a better vision since her eyes were barely opened. It was when she decided to sat up, she felt something hold her hand loosely and also, she found something like….a head…near her body?

This is a dream or what?

She rubbed her eyes with her free hands, and she still could see someone’s head near her

In reflex, she gasped and pulled her hand hastily from whatever that was clutched it seconds ago.

But whatever figure before her wasn’t even move a bit, so Seo Hyun leaned her body closer as she narrowed her eyes to figure it out. As they’re getting closer, Seo Hyun could hear a faint snore and steady breathing. She was near to yell when she realize that the figure before her eyes was a namja, but when she was about to do it, she found something familiar with the fringe that was covering that figure’s face.

“Huh?”

She shoved the fringe away so she could see the face better.

“Oh? Oppa?” She asked in disbelief as she widened her eyes, when she found out that the figure before her was none other than her husband.

What is he doing here? Why didn’t he sleep on the bed?

Seohyun shook her head the moment she realized that she was having self-talking and could only found Yong Hwa’s breath as the answer. She wanted to wake him up, telling him to go sleep on the bed, for she was afraid his body’s going to be sore and probably he’s going to felt numb. But, looking at his sleeping figure, her Yong Hwa oppa whom look so peaceful in his deep sleep, had brushed off her idea to waking him up. Slowly, she got up from the other side of the bed, then proceed to his position, next she pulled her blanket and cover his body with it. And when she make sure that he was warm enough, she went to the bathroom.

She didn’t take a long time though, since she was just brushed her teeth and washed herself. But when she stepped out from the bathroom, Yong Hwa was still in his former position, just right when Seohyun left her with the blanket. She shook her head lightly and smiled. He was indeed tired. She thought. She was no longer feeling sleepy, so she decided to leave the room and walk downstairs, but something made her paused as she heard Yong Hwa’s phone started to ring.

Somehow, the sound of his ringing tone bring some kind of traumatized experience for her. Because, whenever his phone started to ring it was almost—always—from Shin Hye. The thought of there’s a 99% chance that the caller was Shin Hye made Seo Hyun’s heart started to race.

His phone kept ringing, and it sounded so loud in the quite and peaceful morning like this.

Seohyun blinked, then gulped.

While Yong Hwa started to groaned, apparently he was feeling irritated by the ringing tone of his phone. He lifted his head and found out and seeking for his wife right away though his eyes were still half opened. His phone already stopped ringing, but when he found out that Seo Hyun was no longer, he stood up abruptly until there was a slight cracking sound from his body but he just brushed it off instead he called for his wife.

“Hyun-ah??” He called, his eyes was observing the room seeking for Seohyun’s presence.

“I’m here, why are you shouting oppa?”she answered, trying hard to sound normal despite her fast heartbeat.

Yong Hwa turned his head immediately and he sighed in relieved the second he found Seohyun behind him, was standing in front of the bathroom door while holding a small towel and dabbed her face with it.

“…….I thought you leave me…” He stated as he stepped closer towards her, didn’t even bother to answer her.

Her brow furrowed, before she let out a small chuckle

“Oppa, what do you mean with lea--”

She paused and froze in her spot as Yong Hwa hugged her so sudden. It was out of her logic and expectation, actually. In a split of second she felt her heart was stop beating as Yong Hwa put his chin on her, while his arms were circling her body possessively.

Seohyun could only blinked and her towel was already fell from her grasped.

“…….I thought you leave me…” he stated once again.

“….I…I’m not…” she couldn’t finish her sentence, as she was still clueless with what he really means with “leave”.

“Promise?” He asked, as he pulled Seohyun’s body towards him even more and tightened his embrace.

“….Oppa, I don’t get what you really mean…” Seohyun said, while wriggle her body as she tried to break free from him.

“Just answer me” He stated stubbornly.

“Oppa, I…”

Yong Hwa’s phone started to ringing again, and Seohyun decided to use it as an excuse.

“Oppa, your phone’s ringing again, it must be really important”

“I don’t care. Don’t try to change the subject, Seo Joo Hyun” He said with a stern vouce, slightly sounded frustrated since she didn’t give him the answer that he wanted, and she didn’t even hugged him back.

So he tightened her hold on her body even more, until it made her gasped, he was being selfish here, he didn’t want to care if ever she felt hard to breath because his hug was too tight, he didn’t know what happened to him, but after witnessing her condition last night, he suddenly felt scared and insecure, it was like there’s something that was ready to take Seo Hyun away from him though he couldn’t find what was it.

“Just promise me you won’t leave me”

Seo Hyun was frowning and still couldn’t get what he means, so she assumed maybe something bad happened with his patient in Anyang.

“Oppa what’s wrong? Is something happ--”

“Please just promise me, Hyun-ah, is it that hard?”

“But I--”

“So, it’s really that hard for you, huh? You don’t even hold me” he said with a defeat tone.

Though she was still hurting from what he has done to her, but it was hurting her even more actually, hearing him saying like that with a defeat tone. She cursed herself and mentally slap herself for being this fool, dumb, and so irrational if it relates to him. She wanted a revenge, she wanted to hurt him the way he hurt her, she wanted to make him suffer just like what she felt during their marriage. But she can’t. She can never done anything bad to him. Thinking of hurting him was already made her heart bleeding.  So, despite this conflicting situation, despite the uncertainty that her heart felt for him, despite all of those hurtful things that she wanted to do to him, she decided to broke their barrier, their boundaries, and keeping him safe in his arms, and slowly she lifted her hands and made it rest on his back, to hold him.

If only time could stop and let me hold you like this, I won’t ask for more, oppa.

Yong Hwa smiled then kissed her shoulder lightly as his way of saying “Thank you” for hugging him back.

The moment she felt his lips on her shoulder, her knees gone week in an instant. It was such a relieved that Yong Hwa hugged her so tight, because if he wasn’t she will surely fell to the floor.

His phone was stopped ringing again, so Yong Hwa asked her the same question.

“Promise me, you will never leave me Hyun-ah…”

Though she was still clueless and maybe her assumption wasn’t right, but she didn’t care, she didn’t care anymore, if he wanted her to promise him, so she will. She’s living for him already afterall.

“…….I promise oppa. I won’t leave you”

Yong Hwa leaned back and loosened his hold from her waist, only to raveled his hand to cupped her face and looked deep into her eyes.

“Thank you Hyun-ah, thank you…” He confessed in relief then he kissed her forehead.

Seohyun only nodded and smiled at him.

Then Yong Hwa placed his palm on Seo Hyun’s forehead, “Feeling better?”

Seo Hyun smiled and nodded at him.

Yong Hwa shut his eyes for a moment and let out a sigh murmuring “Thank’s God…”

“Don’t push yourself too much, Hyun-ah…”

Seo Hyun nodded again, and said “Ahrasseoyo…”

But then, once again, Yong Hwa’s phone ruined their moment.

“Oppa, your phone…go pick it up…”

Yong Hwa sighed and kissed her forehead once again before she finally said “Ahrasseo..”

Once Yong Hwa picked up the call, he was welcomed by Min Hyuk’s shouted until he had to threw his head away since Min Hyuk’s voice was to loud and slightly scolded him for not picking up earlier. But when Min Hyuk’s finally managed to explained why’d he called Yong Hwa and slightly pissed when Yong Hwa ignored his calls, Yong Hwa’s expression turned to be slightly worried, and he looked troubled by that. Min Hyuk was telling him that something chaotic was happening in the hospital and he has to be there as soon as he can. From Min Hyuk’s voice that was sounded so worried and trembled, Yong Hwa could tell that this is not only a common issue.

“It’s from Min Hyuk, something happen in the hospital, I’ve to reach Seoul as soon as I can” he explained to Seo Hyun, as he put all his belonging back to his backpack.

But something made him paused and turned his body back to look at Seohyun.

“I’m not lying Hyun-ah, it’s really from Min Hyuk” he stated, eyes not living hers.

That made her forehead creased but then she let out a soft chuckled.

“Oppa, who says that you’re lying?”

Yong Hwa scratching his un-itchy left, while saying “….Well… I just…just…”

Seo Hyun shook her head and walked towards him, then she pulled his hand and when he was ahead from her, she pushed his back slightly and said

“Then go get ready oppa, don’t waste your time, hurry up…”

“Let’s go to Seoul together…. Let’s go home…” Yong Hwa said, as he turned his back and reached for her hands.

Seo Hyun’s head bent down to see her hands that were being clutched tightly by Yong Hwa.

“Come with me to Seoul, I’ve promised you that I’ll accompany you to the hospital, let’s just go to SNU hospital” He tried to convince her.

Seo Hyun looked up into his eyes, and smiled warmly “No, it’s okay, I can manage”

“But I’ve promised you, and I want to, please just go get ready and come home to Seoul with me, okay?” he insisted.

“Oppa I can go to the hospital with omma, don’t worry” She reasoned, hoping that it would made Yong Hwa stopped his demand.

Yong Hwa sighed and shut his eyes for a second, before he finally said “Hyun-ah please, just go home with me”

“………But I want to meet abeoji first, beside I still miss omma.. Oppa just go ahead I’ll come to Seoul when I’ve finished all my business here, alright?”

“Hyun-ah…”

“Oppa, please?” She asked sweetly, slightly put her aegyo even.

Yong Hwa let out a heavy sigh, finally admitting his defeat, “……..Ahrasseo, but you have to come home today, okay?”

Seo Hyun grinned and nodded her head repeatedly, “Algeseumnida”

“Promise me” He said with a stern voice.

“I promise,oppa”

Yong Hwa smiled then he raised her hands in his, clutching it even tighter, “And promise me one thing”

“Oppa, why’d you keep asking me to promising something?”

He ignored her question though, so he just said “Just listen to me, buin”

“Ahrasseoyo…” Seohyun gave up, and looked up to meet his eyes.

“Don’t you ever leave our home without telling me your whereabouts like this, ever again, aharajji?” He said that with a deep voice, his eyes locked on hers.

He wasn’t even blinking while waiting for her answer.

But Seo Hyun just threw her gaze away, didn’t even dare to look back at him

“…..Hmm…”

“What’s with that “Hmm”?” Yong Hwa asked with a frown, feeling a bit irritated thinking that Seo Hyun probably assumed his sentence as a joke where in fact he went deadly serious with what he was saying to her.

So, with more demanding tone, he urged again, “Promise me, palli. Or I won’t go to Seoul” his eyes searching for hers.

Seo Hyun finally brought her eyes back to look at him, and nodded her head weakly as she said “Ahrasseoyo, I promise oppa”

 And with that, Yong Hwa grinned so wide and headed to the bathroom while Seo Hyun was chuckling and shook her head witnessing his playful side, and next she proceed to downstairs for preparing Yong Hwa’s breakfast.

***

Seo Hyun walked downstairs and she found her omma was already awake and got busy in the kitchen. She smiled  and walked sneakily towards her omma’s direction. From what she heard, her omma was humming a song, so she couldn’t really feel her daughter presence near her. When Seohyun was already right behind Mrs. Seo’s back, sneakily…she circled her arms on Mrs. Seo’s waist and exclaimed “Got you!”

“Ommona!” Mrs. Seo exclaimed, placing her hands on her chest.

Seohyun was giggling on her victory.

“Aigooo…Joo Hyun-ah…” Mrs. Seo said, as she reached for Seohyun’s cheek and caressed it with her inner palm.

Seo Hyun smiled and close her eyes, trying to seek for more warmness from her mother’s hand.

“Aren’t you too old for that kind of games?” Mrs. Seo asked and slightly titled her head to face her daughter.

“Waeyo omma? You don’t like to play with me anymore since I’m a grown up woman now?” Seo Hyun asked, and acted like she was annoyed with her mother’s statement.

Mrs. Seo was just smiling, and all of sudden she decided to daughter.

“…...Hmm…I’m not so sure ‘bout that… But there’s one thing for sure, it will be really suit for me to play that kind of game together with my grand child”

“OMMA!” Seo Hyun said in a loud voice as she released her arms hastily and stepped back then look at her mother in horror.

Mrs. Seo turned her body and looked at her and was smiling mischievously

“Wae? Isn’t it normal for me to ask a a grandchild for my married daughter?”

Seo Hyun gaped and couldn’t even answer her mother as she was too surprised with her sentence. Because for Seo Hyun, child issue was somehow…….a little bit awakward to discuss for her.

“Hey. Don’t let Yong Hwa looked at your face right now or else he will love you after realizing that his wife looks like a dying fish” Mrs. Seo whispered in her ear, then ended her sentence with a wink.

“Ah omma! Jinjja!”

Mrs. Seo was just giggling and turned her body back to wash the plates and some kitchen stool on the sink.

“Anyway, why are you wake up so early? It’s still around 6 or so….isn’t it?” Mrs. Seo asked, her head was still focus on washing some plates.

Seo Hyun leaned her back on the kitchen counter beside her mother.

“Ne… I was about preparing breakfast for oppa. He’s going back to Seoul in a minute…”

Mrs. Seo turned her head to look at Seo Hyun, “Omo omo! Wae so early? Something happen?”

Seo Hyun nodded snd bent her head down, got busy to play with her nails.

“Ne… Something urgent happened in the hospital, so he has to be there as soon as possible…”

Mrs. Seo nodded in agreement before saying “Geurae…. It’s the responsibility of being a doctor right? Sometimes…doctors don’t have much time to spent with their families…”

Then she continued, “You have to understand him well, Joo Hyun-ah… And, you have to take care of him well too, ahrajji?”

“Ne omma….” Seo Hyun said and smiled weakly, trying to hide her sadness inside.

“Omma…let me help you with that…” she added.

“No, it’s okay, it’s almost done… Let’s just start to make breakfast now”

“Ahrasseoyo…”

Soon, Mrs. Seo and Seo Hyun prepare their breakfast while having a small talks, mostly about Seo Hyun’s client cases, she told her omma that these past months there were a lot of teenagers and their parents who came to her office according to suicidal cases that done by their childrens. It made Seo Hyun sad actually and thinking how life could be this ironic and her selfish self even thinking that how life could be so unfair to her. Because, for some people, even if they want to live a little bit longer, they couldn’t, no matter how hard they tried, still, in the end, they couldn’t, just like her…

She let out a deep sigh when she thought about that.

“Joo Hyun-ah, what time will you be going to the hospital?” Mrs. Seo asked

“Around 9 o’clock omma” Seo Hyun said as was still cutting some she tofu.

Mrs. Seo nodded then asked her again “Have you made appointment with dr. Jang about that?”

“Ne… I texted him already” She answered shortly while putting all the tofu to the pan.

“Okay then, do you want me to come with you?” Mrs. Seo offered.

Joo Hyun smiled and shook her head, “Aniyo, I can manage, don’t worry omma…”

Mrs. Seo smiled before she said “Well…if you say so…” then her focused got back on their jiggae.

“Whooaaaaa… Smells so tasty!”

The excited voice behind made both Seo Hyun and Mrs. Seo turned her body and welcomed by a toothy grinned from the figure immediately.

“Oh oppa?”

“Good morning ommoni” Yong Hwa slightly bowed to Mrs. Seo and walked towards them.

“Good morning Yong Hwa, breakfast will be ready in a minute…” Mrs. Seo paused to turned off the stove and she continued “Joo Hyun-ah, prepare the rice for Yong Hwa, palli”

“Nee….” Seo Hyun answered as she brought the rice bowl and some side dishes to the dining table.

“Thanks Hyun-ah…”

Seo Hyun only replied with a smile.

Yong Hwa was peeking for the breakfast menu from behind Mrs. Seo body

“Ommoni…the jiggae looks soo tasty… Gomawoo…”

Mrs. Seo looked up and smiled at him, “I hope you’re okay with this simple menu Yong Hwa-yah… Aigoo… I should’ve prepare some more for you, omma is sorry Yong Hwa-yah”

“Aniyo…why’d you apologize ommoni? I’m really thankful for this, really… Please don’t be like that ommoni… Of course I’ll eat well everything you and Seo Hyun have prepared for me”

“Well….it’s such a relieve then…”

“Ommoni… Thank you, thank you so much. I’m so lucky to be a part of you and Seo Hyun…” Yong Hwa said bluntly, to be honest he thought that he was just saying it in his mind, but then he realized that he spilled it out already.

Mrs. Seo smiled and patted his back, “Ahrasseo… Let’s have breakfast now…”

“Ne… Let me bring the jiggae ommoni”

And with that, the three of them having their early breakfast together, the atmosphere was so warm without any awkwardness at all, seemed like they were really a family having a breakfast together. Sometimes Yong Hwa would steal a glance at Seo Hyun who sat beside her, and Seo Hyun would just blushed when Yong Hwa caught her eyes. Both of them treated each other well, Yong Hwa putting more eggs on Seo Hyun’s bowl while Seo Hyun putting more veggies on Yong Hwa bowl. Mrs. Seo who was the witness of their warm and natural interaction smiled warmly.

They continued to have their breakfast until they demolished all of the foods and afterwards, they sent Yong Hwa to the front door when the taxi that Seo Hyun’s booked earlier informed her that it was arrived in front of their house, ready to take Yong Hwa to the airport since he decided to just go back to Seoul with plane so he could reach hospital sooner. At first, Seo Hyun wanted to accompany him to the airport but Yong Hwa was still worried with her condition last night, so he insisted that he’ll be alright to go by himself, for he knew that Seo Hyun had a lot of things to do today, she has to go to the hospital then coming back to Seoul afterwards, he was afraid it will drained her energy even more if she sent him to the airport as well. So he softly refused, and it was such a relieved that Seo Hyun could understand his intention.

Soon, Seo Hyun and Mrs. Seo walked Yong Hwa to the front gate. But, something caught Yong Hwa’s attention when he saw some kind of shopping bag laid down in front of the gate.

“Hyun-ah….what…what’s that?” He asked, and proceeded to approach it.

Seo Hyun titled her head and squinted her eyes, trying to get a better view of it, as she murmured “Huh?”

Yong Hwa was the one who reached the said plastic bag, he bent his body and took it, feeling curious he opened the shopping bag immediately and took a peek at the content inside.

“What’s that Yong Hwa?” Mrs. Seo asked, as she and Seo Hyun took a step towards him.

“…….A…doll ommoni…” Yong Hwa answered as he raised his head and looked up and threw his gaze to Mrs. Seo then Seo Hyun.

“Huh? A doll?” Mrs. Seo asked in confused.

“Oppa let me see it….” Seo Hyun said, she reached for the shopping bag in Yong Hwa’s hand.

Yong Hwa handed it to her while asking ”Do you know something about this? Or….did someone accidentally threw it here?”

Seo Hyun took a look at the content inside and a gasped was heard immediately from her.

“Wae?” Yong Hwa asked curiously.

“A Minnion doll….” She commented as she took out the doll, and that was when she found out  there’s a letter inside.

Seo  Hyun read the letter immediately and Yong Hwa lened his body to her, wanting to read the letter as well.

 

 

 

Seo Hyun-ah, I’ve finally got this. Sorry for making you wait.

    Hope you like it ^_^

 

JK.

 

It said.

 

Something made her heart warm upon reading the simple sentence on the later.

How could he remember?. She thought

And somehow, she felt thankful for that, but yet she felt bit sorry for the one who had sent the doll to her.

Joong Ki oppa…

 “Who sent this? Who is JK?” Yong Hwa asked impatiently.

Yong Hwa’s voice made her snapped back.

“…….Chingoo… Ne chingoo, oppa…” She answered without looking at him, her eyes were still fixed on the later.

“Who’s JK?” He asked digged.

“…….Joong Ki oppa, Song Joon Ki oppa” She said, still not looking at him, was cluctching the minion tightly with both hands.

Truth to be told, Yong Hwa already assumed that “JK” was stand for “Joong Ki”, but he hope that he was mistaken, that he was just being paranoid, but then….what Seo Hyun just said….

Yong Hwa’s bold boiled. He gritted his teeth and turned his both hands into a fist, trying to ease his anger for he knew that it was useless to throw his tantrums on Seo Hyun, she was just receiving a present, thus she has no fault with that.

“……You could just tell me if you want a doll…” He said, but threw his gaze away from her eyes.

That made Seo Hyun looked up and seek for his eyes. “Oppa, it’s not like that. I’ve never ask for this doll to him directly, it was just because when we played at the game zone…”

She paused. Something made she cut her explanation. Because, somehow, when she remember about that day, it only bring the pain back to her. The pictures where Yong Hwa and Shin Hye did in the jewelry shop emerged in her mind in a blink of second. So she stopped. She didn’t want to remember it again. She didn’t want to feel the same again.

Both Yong Hwa and Seo Hyun went silent. Thankfully, Mrs. Seo was there, sensing that these two childs were going to have a bickering, she tried to explained Yong Hwa about Joong Ki.

“Yong Hwa-yah, don’t misunderstood, Joong Ki is Seo Hyun’s sunbae in high school, they were best friends back then, he’s a good man… And Joo Hyun-ah, you’d better introduce Joong Ki to Yong Hwa, I bet they could make a good friend!”

Good friend? Us? Me and that Song Joong Ki? Yong Hwa thought, slightly feel irritated just to think about that guy.

“….She did ommoni. I’ve met Song Joong Ki-ssi….and yes, he seemed….a nice guy…” Yong Hwa said, and with all of efforts he managed to put a smile on his lips.

Seo Hyun used it to divert his attention and changed the topic.

“Oppa, palli get in to the taxi or you’ll be late”

Yong Hwa looked at her and nodded his head slightly.

They were in front of the house gate, the taxi was park just before Yong Hwa, when Yong Hwa turned back after taking two steps, facing Seo Hyun.

“You’re coming back home, right?”

Seo Hyun let out a soft chuckle, “Oppa, it the 9^th times you asked me the same question…”

Yong Hwa went silent and stared at the ground.

“Of course I’m coming back home, where should I stay if I’m not going home?”

Upon hearing that, Yong Hwa found his strength to raised his head, showing his toothy grinned to her.

“Great. Let’s have dinner outside tonight” He suggested.

Seo Hyun nodded and smiled at him.

And to her surprise, without minding her mother presence there, Yong Hwa hugged her tightly.

“Come home early, oh?” He whispered, while he still got his face buried on her shoulder.

Seo Hyun rooted on her spot, so while stuttering she answered “N….N—Ne…”

With one last kiss on her forehead—that seemed to be a habit for him now—Yong Hwa bid his goodbye and bowed to his mother-in-law and a wave for his wife.

Mrs. Seo and Seo Hyun stayed in front of the gate for another minutes, they both silent and just look at the taxi that slowly started to disappear from their sight.

“So…. Joong Ki’s coming back to Busan?” Mrs. Seo asked, breaking the silence between them.

Seo Hyun nodded and answered weakly, “…Ne…”

“Ommo… How is he doing now?”

“He’s….fine…, he had opened a photo studio in Gangnam”

“Whooa…jinjja?” Mrs. Seo asked, sound full of excitement.

Seo Hyun nodded and smile at her

“So…Uhm… Seo Hyun-ah, if omma may ask… How’s your relationship with him now?”

Seo Hyun hugged the doll in her chest tightly with her right hang clutch Joong Ki’s letter, then she looked up to meet Mrs. Seo’s eyes.

“We….we’re fine, now. We cleared up everything, it was just….a misunderstanding back then…so…yeah…I guess…we’re fine…”

Mrs. Seo smiled and patted her back, that made Seo Hyun curved a smile on her lips too.

“So….did he come here last night? Why didn’t he tell you? I’d like to meet him again, though… It’s been a while….”

Seo Hyun titled her head and pouted her lips, before she finally let out a heavy sigh and answered “Mwollayo omma…. Perhaps… He was just passing by or something…”

“Well… then… Send my regard if you guys catch up, tell him to come over here if he has some free times… It’s getting cold here, let’s get inside…”

“Ne, I’ll tell him later omma… Yeah, it’s cold…” Seo Hyun said as she rubbed her arm.

***

(SNU Hospital)

After putting his backpack on the dorm, Yong Hwa tok his white jacket then rushing to go to his department. And thankfully, going by plane, it only took less than an hour for him to reach Seoul. Hearing Min Hyuk’s voice that sound so panic, it was more or less influenced him to feel a little bit panic too. Plus, the situation in front of the hospital building was somehow a little bit strange and unusual, there were so many mass media, reporters, cameramen, the flash of the camera here and there, also, there’s even 3 police car there, thus he had to choose the back door to enter the hospital, since the situation in front of the main door was too crowded. He felt a little bit uneasy with that, but he decided to brushed it off, and was thinking that maybe a popular celebrity’s being hospitalized in SNU now.

When Yong Hwa finally reach the meeting room in his department, he was welcomed by the troubled face from all of his colleagues doctor, dr. Jung, his father was there too, he already looked pale and there were a visible beads of sweats in his forehead.

“Hyung, finally….” Min Hyuk sighed in relieved then come approached him with half running.

Yong Hwa’s heart began to beat faster, “What’s going on Min Hyuk-ah?”

Everyone were staring at Yong Hwa, when his father was sitting and massaging his temple.

Min Hyuk started biting his lips and couldn’t even met his eyes when he was answering him.

“Hy—hyung…don’t you still remember about Mr. Lee’s case? The CABG ’s patient?”

Yong Hwa nodded, and answered “Ne, of course I remember it, though we can’t save him in the end, but we were working really hard on his case” Yong Hwa explained, he was still dumbfounded with the situation.

“dr. Jung Yong Hwa” Jung Tae Hun, his father speak up. He stood from his seat and walked towards him.

“Ne, dr. Jung…”

All of the doctors who were passing back and forth earlier, and whispered to each other had stopped whatever they did and fixed their attention to the father and son in front of them.

“Jung Yong Hwa euisa seonsaengnim, can you tell me once again, why’d you decided to do the open cardiac massage treatment on Mr. Yoon’s case?”

“Because even after 30 minutes of giving him a CPR, we’re still couldn’t hear his heartbeat and we couldn’t find his pulse, his condition was dropping so fast and if we used defibrilator it would be too shocking for his vital organs and it would endanger another vital organs too, so the best thing that I could do for CABG’s patient with that kind of condition was to do an open cardiac massage treatment”

Tae Hun nodded upon hearing his explanation, but he couldn’t hold himself to inquired more though Yong Hwa already made a presentation for this case on their weekly meeting, so he asked Yong Hwa again “And what happened when you did that?”

“When I dissect his chest, I almost couldn’t see his heart because it was already covered with blood. But after I manage to do the treatment around 10 seconds, in the end, I still lost him, he already got a complications thus whatever medical treatment that we had done to him, it still didn’t help much”

“Hyung’s right Jung sunsaeng, and despite of his complications, his age also one of the problem here. He’s already old for to get a continues surgeries. It’s not Hyung’s fault. You can ask dr. Go, she was there too” Min Hyuk rambled panickly.

“Yes, Jung sunsaeng, if that was the case, then it’s not Yong Hwa’s fault, he did the best already. We have to protect him, doctor!” dr. Lee Joon chirped in.

“Ne majayo Jung sunsaeng!” all of the doctors that were gathered there also joined in.

“Aish! Where’s Ha Ra in this kind of situation? Jinjja!” Min Hyuk mumbled, and ruffled his hair in desperate.

“What is really going on here? Anyone, mind to tell me? I don’t get it, really” Yong Hwa asked with a slight frustration. He felt like he was the dummy one as everyone kept blabbering about things that he didn’t understand, at all.

Again, the troubled face and uneasy look showed from all of them. Some biting lips, some didn’t dare to meet his eyes, and even Min Hyuk was bent down his head. No one answered him.

“Come here, dr. Jung” Tae Hun ordered, as he walked ahead.

Once they found a chair to sit, Tae Hun explained him that Yong Hwa was charged with accused by malpractice for Mr. Lee Sang Kyu case. The family of Mr. Lee Sang Kyu had reported Yong Hwa to the police for the medical treatment that Yong Hwa had done to him. They said that because Yong Hwa did the open cardiac massage Mr. Lee Sang Kyu had lost his live, the shocking thing was, the police claimed that beside Mr. Lee Sang Kyu’s family statements, there’s also one of doctor from SNU Hospital that agreed with the family statement, the police hided the doctor identity for the security reason, but they said that this doctor had claimed that Yong Hwa was making a decision alone without even discussing it first with another doctor that help him there, and he was making a wrong decision with giving their treatment for the patient, because from this unknown doctor statement, it said that when Yong Hwa did the treatment for the patient, his vital sign was depleting in instant, his condition turned even worse. And with that, the police assumed that Mr. Lee Sang Kyu’s case was one of the malpractice issue. But it’s not like that the police would just bring him and send him jailed, Yong Hwa’s status was still a witness, the case was still on process, but the police still have to bring him to the police office to noted all of his statements by his point of view. And not only that, Yong Hwa’s malpractice issue had spread so fast, and the doctor’s federation in South Korea whom heard about this issue had sent the letter to SNU Hospital explaining that they need to meet Yong Hwa immediately to get his explanation, and soon after that his case will be discussed and opened in the court of doctor’s ethical code. Yong Hwa had never thought that this case would turn out this complicated. Actually, Mr. Lee’s case is already close last month, but then someone had to blow it up again and make it difficult to be handle. It wasn’t his first time of having a death case from patients, but it was never be this complicating and confusing before.

“Oh God….” Yong Hwa sighed as he shut his eyes and covered his face with his inner palms, the second his father finished his explanation.

“dr. Jung Yong Hwa, look at me” dr. Jung said authoritatively.

Yong Hwa opened his eyes and put his hands on the table and meet his gaze.

“Listen, we, all of the surgeon here believe that it was just misunderstood, so don’t worry too much, just answer the police’s question according to what happened that day, we believe you, so you have to believe with yourself too”

“Algeseumnida, Jung sunsaeng” Yong Hwa said firmly, eyes not leaving his father’s eyes.

Then Yong Hwa feel the pat on his right shoulder, it was dr. Yoo Jae Suk

“We’ll try our best to help you dr. Jung, whatever happen we will always be by your side. Right, guys?” Jae Suk said as he gripped on Yong Hwa’s right shoulder.

All of them were exclaimed “NEEE !!!”

dr. Ha Dong Hoon then walked to the center of the meeting room, then he raised his both hands in the air making it into a fists.

“URI ACE JUNG YONG HWA SUNSAENGNIM, FIGHTING! FIGHTING! FIGHTING!” He shouted, confronting others to do the same.

“FIGHTINGGG!!!” All of them then started copied dr. Ha’s act.

With that, even if it was just a split of second, Yong Hwa could find a reason to form a smile on his lips.

But then they heard a knock from the outside, and it was dr. Kwon Yu Ri who walked towards the door, while the rest were observing and followed her moves with their eyes, they all feeling slightly worried of who was knocking the door. The second dr. Kwon opened the door and find out that there were three police officer in front of her, everyone who were anticipating about the guest from the start were left speechless and stopped cheering for Yong Hwa.

Probably, all of the surgeons there were having the same thought, “They take dr. Jung this early?”

“We’re looking for dr. Jung Yong Hwa” once of the police who didn’t use the uniformed stated.

Yu Ri was rooted for seconds before she finally andwered “N…Ne…”

The said dr. Jung Yong Hwa was trying to calm himself in his seat and shut his eyes for 2 seconds before he finally get up and said “Yes, I’m here sir”

Next, without feeling hesitate Yong Hwa walked to approached them while Tae Hun was walking behind him. In his fifth steps, he reached for Yong Hwa’s hand to stopped him. Yong Hwa turned his body and look at him.

“Yes, dr. Jung?” Yong Hwa said in a calm tone.

Jung Tae Hun place both his hands on his shoulders, shook it once then and gripped it tightly.

“Do well, nae adeul…” He said with a slight tremble voice for he was trying hard to hold his tears.

Seeing his only son being brought away by a police before his eyes, was just too hard too endure.  And it was added by, he couldn’t do anything to blocked the police to bring his son away from him was killing him, to his heart content. It was too painful and he felt like he’s a useless father for his son.

Yong Hwa smiled and nodded firmly, “Ggeokjeongma abeoji, just trust me. That’s all I need”

Mr. Jung nodded as slowly his tears fell from the corner of his eyes.

“Geurae. I trust you. Of course I trust you”

But then, the police broke the moment with saying “dr. Jung Yong Hwa, we don’t have all day, so please, be corporate with us”

Yong Hwa thumbed his father’s tears, feeling that his eyes got warmer in an instant. So he turned his back, afraid that his father perhaps could see his glistening eyes.

“Let’s go, sir” Yong Hwa said.

********************************************************************************

JWAESONGHAMNIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *kneeled*

I’m really really sorry my dear readers, for the long awaits, I had never meant to take a hiatus or something, but I just couldn’t find any times to write. I think I should find a more-humanize-work… I’ve been really busy and got sick last weekend, so yeah…

I hope you guys could accept my apology… Please… L(

I  hope WTRF still has a little place on your heart, so you don’t mind to passing by and read this little story of mine… Huhuhu….

Thank you for not leaving this story… :’)

You guys are too sweet.

And yes, this story has a part 2, I’m going to post it later tonight on Indonesia’s time of course, kekeke

So, I’ll blabbering more on the author note section on the part 2.

I know this part is still lacking here and there, and I’m really sorry for that. I'm still a slightly dizzy.

I hope you’ll like it, though.

Enjoy reading

And wait a lil bit more for the part 2.

See yaa, SOON ^^