“We need to take a break”

It was like Taeyeon was being hit with a bucket of cold frozen water when she heard those words coming out of Tiffany’s mouth. It hurts her. She understood on why Tiffany wanted them to take a break for awhile, she agreed to it although it was heart-wrenching. But she too knew that a break and a break-up are two different things. A break-up means it was time to call the relationship a quit. Yet, a break means ‘I don’t want to end this, but I want to figure some things out’, she was very well aware of that.

She clearly knew what happened. Tiffany was injured by her fans, she felt her heart being crushed, feeling guilty over the incident. She was feeling frustrated and furious too, feeling like punching those people who did that to her lover. Remembering those six words caused her to groaned, hitting her bed sheet, she screamed.

She tossed around on her bed that Saturday morning, it has been 4 days since Tiffany left. And for those 4 days, Taeyeon went to sleep in pain, and woke up in pain. She fell asleep crying, she woke up crying. It was no different that morning. She could felt her cheeks started to get wet after she let out that scream of hers. She turned around to see the empty space on her bed, she closed her eyes, all she saw was Tiffany. Her tears were overflowing even if they were closed.

Taeyeon reached out for her iPhone, there were a couple of text messages, but were not from Tiffany. She wiped her tears, trying to read the messages.

From: Soo Young

Taeng, let’s go out today to RL café! My treat!

From: Manager Yul

You have a show tonight in SF, be ready at 4, I’ll fetch you. Cheer up, Taeng.

She closed her inbox and tapped on her phone’s gallery, she searched for Tiffany’s photo. She smiled, in tears, watching the pictures. Flipping through each one of them. She missed her, she missed her so much.

She then opened her Twitter app, and tweeted something, something that she wanted the whole world to know, something that she wanted Tiffany to know.

Taeyeon loved her very much; she didn’t want her to get hurt, physically and emotionally by anyone. She wanted to protect her, she wanted to be her guardian. But she knew she failed. Tiffany was already hurt. Taeyeon knew Tiffany was terrified, she herself was scared too. She was surprised that her fans that adored her, that loved her could do such thing. Taeyeon knew that when Tiffany saw those things on twitter and facebook, she would understandably freaked out and terrified, those were death threats, anyone would be scared too. Taeyeon did try to reassure her, but what can she do?

“It’s been 4 days, Stephanie, 4 damn days!” Taeyeon screamed, she then rose from bed and entered the bathroom, with her phone. She for once never left her phone wherever she go, she was afraid if Tiffany sent her messages or called her, but for sure, for those 4 days, she haven’t receive anything.

**

“You ready, Taengoo?” Yuri said, looking at Taeyeon who was spacing out. They both were in her Range Rover, going to a charity show in San Francisco. Not receiving any feedback, Yuri touched her shoulder. Taeyeon was startled.

“What is it, Yul?” Taeyeon turned to Yuri.

“Taeng” Yuri said in her soft voice when Taeyeon pulled off her white cap. She took Taeyeon’s hand, looking into Taeyeon’s sore eyes. “Have you been crying all night? Your eyes are…” she was stopped by Taeyeon’s action. Taeyeon shook her head. She didn’t speak a word.

“Okay Taeng, we are going now, okay?”Yuri said, calming Taeyeon. She then drove the car.

Taeyeon grabbed her iPhone from her pocket, wondering if there was text or anything from Tiffany, but no, there was nothing. She sighed quietly. Putting her cap back on her head. She then took a selca, and posted it on Instagram, wishing that Tiffany checked it. She put her phone back in her pocket with the ringtone volume set to full. She closed her eyes, falling asleep the whole ride to San Francisco.

**

Taeyeon stood on the stage, with thousand of audience. Beside her was one of the band members, James, with a guitar. Taeyeon grabbed the microphone and James started to play the guitar. It was a new song, a new song that she just wrote two days ago. Of course it was for Tiffany.

“I miss you” Taeyeon said before the first verse. Anyone could hear her pain when she said that, it was deep.

‘Across the ocean, across the sea, starting to forget the way you look at me now, over the mountains, across the sky, need to see your face, I need to look in your eyes’ she sang with her emotion.

‘Through the storm and through the clouds, bumps on the road and upside down now. I know it’s hard babe, to sleep at night, don’t you worry, cause everything’s gonna be alright, be alright’ she sang with her eyes fully closed, opening at only certain part. Each time she closed them, all she could see was Tiffany’s smiling face, an angel, a goddess, her lover, she missed her.

‘All alone, in my room, waiting for your phone call to come soon, and for you ohhhh, I would walk a thousand miles, to be in your arms, holding my heart, oh I, oh I, I love you, and everything’s gonna be alright’ she sang, deep down she knew what was coming, her eyes started to burn, she forced herself not to let the liquid released from her eyes.

‘You know that I care for you, I’ll always be there for you, I promise I will stay right here, yeah. I know that you want me too, baby we can make it through everything, and everything’s gonna be alr..” she stopped singing before the song was finished, she sobbed, wipping her tears. The crowd was in shocked, and shouted “Don’t cry!”

Taeyeon apologized, wiping her tears, and smiled. Although that smile was fake, she had to do it for the audience who were among them were special childrens.