I've been thinking about it for a while now. Telling him, telling him about me, my life, my parents, everything. But what if he learned what my life was like, who I really was and he didn't like it? Would we stop being friends. What if he was shocked and then hated me because of it? There were so many ifs, too many. Did I really wasnt to tell him everything?

I sat in class just like every other day, trying to keep my fears under control. I couldn't think and I wasn't paying attention. Taemin could tell becasue he kept glancing at me with worry in his eyes. Every time he would look at me I would quickly lower my head as to not meet his wandering eyes. I had decided that I would tell him my story.

"Oppa," I whispered, getting his attention. It was right in the middle of class so we weren't supposed to talk.

"Ne?"

"Meet me outside when school ends, arasso?"

"Ne, arasso."

Now I had to go through with this, I had no choice. I couldn't handle it anymore, having a best friend that knew nothing about me. Not telling him anything killed me with guilt every time we would talk. When he would ask a personal question, I would just aviod it and then change the subject to him. My heart fell out of my chest every time I would avoid him, I knew that it hurt im, but it hurt me even more.

Taemin deserved something better than me, someone who would trust him. Someone that would love him and someone that didn't seem invisible to everyone else. I knew that I could never fully trust someone, even if it was him. He could do better than me if we ever dated. IF.

The bell rang and I hurried out of the room and to my next class before Taemin could catch me. I didn't want to see him before I talked to him after school, that would just make it that much harder to tell him of my past life. He would be confused, but better for him to be confused now than wondering what was wrong with me when he had talked to me in the hallway. It was the best thing for him, to keep him guessing until we met after school. I didn't want to hurt him, but keeping him in the dark was hurting the both of us.

All that class, I couldn't focus, my mind buzzing about what I would tell him. I was wondering what I should tell him, everything, or just shorten things a bit. Everything was a blur, the next block and then the next as well. I was going crazy in the last class of the day, glancing at the clock every five seconds and wondering how much slower the day could go. I was scared, terrified. What would his reaction be? I was stressing out, not thinking about anything but what might happen. All the bad things that could go on ran themselves through my head, my nervousness increasing as the minutes seemed to get longer and longer.

I took in a shaky breath, my eyes burning. It felt like I was about to cry, I hadn't cried in years. I had just held in everything that had bothered me and now they were surfacing. Right when it was the best time not to cry. He would freak out if I really did cry. I knew that Taemin would blame it on himself. But it wasn't his fault, nothing was his fault.

The bell finally rang and I tried to gather myself. Stuffing my notebooks in my bag, I hurried to my locker and sorted out my homework for the night. Now my emotions were getting the better of me and my eyes were stinging, filled with wetness. I had forgotten what it was like to cry.

I walked out of the school and there he was, waiting for me under the shade of a near-by tree. I walked over, trying to hide my face and the tears that were forming. My eyes were blurry, like a kaleidescope that twisted my vision.

"Min-Hee!" He yelled at me cheerfully until he saw me staring at the ground as I walked towards him. He lifted my chin and I pulled away, the tears finally spilling over. They rolled down my cheeks, carving rivers into the soft, delicate skin. They were almost like diamonds, sparkling in the sunlight. "What's wrong?"

I looked up at him. "I-I..."

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