I wondered why she brought me there. To the playground. I mean, I knew it was because she wanted to share a personal thing with me. But it wasn’t like we were close friends or anything. I met her at a café and she gave me six smoothies. After that we’d only bumped into each other a couple of times. Was it possible that she liked me as much as I was realizing I liked her? That thought plagued my mind all night, depriving me of sleep until I had to get up before I woke up the other guys with all my tossing and turning. I went into the kitchen to find a midnight snack. Actually, I just wanted to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t pace and make the floorboards creak. What am I gonna do? If I can’t stop thinking about her, shouldn’t I just ask her out? But I can’t do that! I’m too…famous…and she…she wouldn’t…

“Wow, you’ve really got it bad, don’t you?”

I spun toward the voice in the doorway.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up, Yoochun?”

He just nodded, but didn’t seem bothered. “What are you doing?”

I looked at the cabinet door in my hand. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Yoochun walked up to me and close the cabinet. “Junsu, you’ve opened this cabinet three times. I don’t think what you’re looking for is in there.”

I sighed and let my shoulders droop. I knew it was pointless pretending, I just didn’t want them nagging on me about it. I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter.

“I don’t know what do… I haven’t been faced with this situation before. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never been in love, but… After the debut, it was all about the group for me. The music. Now, suddenly, there’s this girl in the picture and I’m not sure how she fits—or if she even wants to be in the picture. I’ve never been so nervous about something like this. Maybe that’s because I’ve never known a girl like her. I don’t know what it is, but… I can’t help it—which is the worst part. This isn’t just some crush I can ignore or an infatuation I can simply turn off.”

“Then don’t.” Yoochun shrugged. “If you can’t fight it, you might as well go for it.”

I looked down as if maybe the answer to this predicament was written on the floor and I’d just never noticed it before.

“I guess…”

“Look at it this way,” Yoochun continued. “Which is worst? Her rejecting you, therefore giving you the ability to finally forget about her? Or letting her go and possibly never seeing her again? What if she’s the one for you? Shouldn’t you at least try?”

I looked up at him. He had a point…a very good point. What would it hurt? It’s not like I’ve been rejected before either. That I could handle. But I wasn’t sure if I could handle letting her slip away—especially if she turned to really be the one for me. I pushed myself off of the counter.

“I’m doing it.” Yoochun nodded to me. “The worst she can say is, no, right? That’s not so bad.” Yoochun nodded again. “I’ll just go right down to the café she works at tomorrow—I did say I’d come by again.”

Yoochun nodded a third time and clamped my shoulder with one hand. “Good luck, Hyung.”

He turned to go and I said, “If you’re going to tell the others, at least tell them not to make a big deal out of it. In case she does say no, ok?”

Yoochun nodded, but replied, “She won’t. How can anyone resist a nice guy like you, Junsu?”

     I had no idea if she was even at work that day. And I didn’t have much time; we had a press conference later. That—at least—would propel me to just say it instead of stalling. And if she wasn’t there…? I looked down at the bouquet of pink, white, and yellow China asters, sweet peas, winged everlastings, and pincushion flowers that I’d hand-picked from the florist. As I stood outside the café, a small butterfly flew by and landed on one of larger pink blossoms. I smiled and took it as a sign of good luck. I watched it fly away again and then walked inside with the flowers behind my back. I felt relieve and scared at the same when Ara behind the counter. When she saw me, she smiled and waved. The girl next to her froze and stared as I approaching the counter.

“You came back!” Ara exclaimed.

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

She nodded. “So what’ll it be today?”

I looked down and then back up. It seemed so easy to stall by ordering something, but I knew what time it was and I knew how much time I had.

“Well, actually, I just wanted to say… I had a really good time last night…”

She nodded again and smiled sweetly. “Me too.”

“And I was wondering…if you would maybe like to do it again sometime…I mean—it doesn’t have to be a playground—unless you want it to be—I’d be fine with that—but if you want to go somewhere else—that’s good too…” I let my voice trail off, it was hopeless.

She smiled and tilted her head sympathetically, but she seemed amused. I laughed at myself and shook my head.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is,” I pulled the flowers out from behind my back and handed them to her. “Will you go out with me?”