ARA’S POV

     It was probably silly to bring Junsu to a playground, but I thought he might like it. And I wanted to share something with him that might bring us closer as friends.

“I didn’t want to be around a lot of people and I knew this place would be empty. I used to come here at night when I was troubled. I’d swing on the swings as high as I could. And when I swung forward, I would my feet up so that when I looked in between them, I could see the stars there. I would pretend I could fly up to the sky and stand on it.” I blushed and laughed at myself. It sounded so childish! “That probably sounds pretty dumb…”

“No it doesn’t! It sounds nice.” I looked at him. “It’s nice to be able to dream like that.”

She nodded and looked back down. Maybe that was why I hadn’t done anything with my life. Maybe that’s why I had lacked motivation. Maybe that was why I hadn’t gone to college before. I’d forgotten how to dream.

“When I’m upset, I lay down. It’s relaxing and I can pretend I’m somewhere else.”

When he told me something personal in return, it made me smile. “That’s sounds nice too.”

I pushed my feet into the sand so that my swing would move slightly. I didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. I felt more like swing now than eating.

“Put your food down, I’ll push you.” I looked up at Junsu

He was standing in front of me, offering to push my swing for me.

I smiled and set my container. As he walked around behind me, I made sure I was comfortable in the swing and had a good grip of the chains it hung by. But I didn’t feel him push me. I wondered if was gone. Or maybe he hadn’t been there at all, all along. Maybe I was really eat at the playground by myself and had only imagine Junsu was with me. Then I felt his hands gently on my back. I looked back at him.

“It’s ok if you push me harder. I won’t fly away.” I told him.

We both chuckled and he pushed me again.

“So…you know us, right? I mean the group I’m in.”

I nodded. “Of course I do, who doesn’t?”

“Just checking.”

“Actually…I’m kind of a fan.” That’s the understatement of the year…or the decade…

He pushed me harder. “Really? So you know a lot about us.”

“I guess you could say that.” I know more about you than youknow about you right now.

“What do you know?”

I giggled. “Is this a quiz, because I didn’t get a chance to study.”

He laughed. “It’s a surprise quiz. I’ll start with something easy. The other members.”

“Okay… U-Know Yunho is the leader. YoungWoong Jaejoong is the oldest and acts like a mother sometimes. ChoiKang Changmin is the youngest and the tallest. And Micky Yoochun is…” Uh oh…My mind totally just went blank! “He…writes a lot of music and plays the piano very well…?”

“And what about me?”

“You?” I glanced back at him with a confident grin. “You…are cute and funny and have a unique voice. You have a twin brother named Junho who is very important to you and your best friend from a long time ago is EunHyuk from Super junior. You absolutely love soccer. You’re about 2 years older than me. Oh and your blood type is B.”

My swing suddenly stopped and I turned to look at Junsu. He seemed surprised.

“Wow, you know a lot about me.”

I turned back around, suddenly embarrassed by the way he was looking at me.

“I told you I was a fan…” I mumbled.

He started pushing me again, even harder this time. “But you don’t act like a fangirl.”

“Well, there’s a difference between a fan and a fangirl. I’m more like a…secret fangirl.”

Junsu laughed. “A secret fangirl?”

“Ya, I don’t squeal or anything unless I know nobody is watching.”

“I see… So what’s your favorite song? From us, I mean.”

“Hm…that’s a hard one…” I had to remember than this wasn’t 2009. There were many songs that didn’t exist yet. “I guess it would have to be… Hi Ya Ya. Every time I hear it, it makes me smile. It’s a really fun summer song.”

He nodded. “I like it too. What about your favorite music video?”

“Um…either the Korean version of ‘O’ or the Japanese version of Rising Sun. I like the dancing.”

“Ya, the dancing for those two video is a powerful kind of dance.” I nodded in agreement. “Have you ever seen us live?”

“More than once.”

“Okay… Here’s another easy one. What do you know about our debut?”

“It was in 2003, the day after Christmas. Your song was HUG. And you preformed with BoA…Oh Holy Night, I think it was…”

“That’s right. Okay, if you’re a fan, then what are our fan clubs?”

“Well, the Korean one is Cassiopeia—of which I am a very proud member and—“

“Really?!” He stopped my swing again and twisted me around to face him.

I laughed. “Yes.” I twisted myself back around and started swinging my own until he pushed me. “And the Japanese club is called…Big East…I think.”

“Hm…In your own opinion… How do you think we will do in the future?”

The future?! Why that question? I know too much about the future!

I had no idea what to say, so instead, I cried, “Higher!”

“What?”

“Push me higher!”

He pushed harder. “Like that?”

“Higher!” I shouted.

“How high?”

“Higher, higher, higher!” I cheered. “As high as I can go!”

“Okay…” He pushed me as hard as he could.

He pushed me until I laughed, and then he laughed with me.

“Is that high enough?”

“It’s perfect!”

But he kept pushing. He pushed me so high I screamed. Then I remembered a thing I did when I was little. I’d swing as high as I could and jump so that it felt like I really was flying. 1…2…3… I counted in my head. Then I leapt off the swing.

“Ara!” Junsu shouted.

I landed on my feet, but stumbled and tumbled to the ground. I rolled over and Junsu ran to me. I looked up at him, but didn’t move. That hurt, but I was laughing.

“I did that on purpose.” I told him.

He had his hand on his chest. “You scared me!”

“I’m sorry… You want to know how I think you will do in the future?” I looked at the sky and reach my hand up, closing my fist around the stars. “I think you will go as high as you can go. I think you will touch the stars and shine even brighter.”

He smiled and held out his hand to me. He helped me stand, then reached hand out to touch my hair.

“You have sand in your hair…” He my hair, then turned me around. “And on your back.”

As he brushed me off, I was glad the darkness hid my blush. That was when I remembered there was more to my wish than just meeting him. But I never thought that part would come true…

“We should finish our food.” He said.

I nodded, but I still wasn’t hungry.  

     I was just thinking—again—that I should’ve remembered my jacket, when I felt something on my back. I looked over at Junsu. He had taken off his jean jacket and was placing it over my shoulder.

“You looked cold.” He explained.

“But what about you?” I looked at his short sleeved t-shirt.

He shrugged. “I’m fine. I was getting hot anyway.”

Ya right. I thought, and I gave him a look. For a moment, I pulled the jacket closer around me. Then I looked over at him. Already he was shivering! That made me laugh. He was trying to be a man, but he was actually really cold. I scooted closer to him.

“What are you laughing at?” He questioned. “What are you doing?”

What I was doing was leaning close to him and opening one side of the jacket to wrap around him.

“It’s not fair for you to be so cold when I’m wearing your jacket.”

I craned my neck to see his face. Was he blushing? It was too dark to tell for sure. He looked away—trying to preserve his manliness I suppose. I smiled to myself. I wonder if I can make him blush even more… With my arm still around him—shifted my position so that I was kneeling behind him, holding the jacket around him like a hug.

“Wha—now what are you doing?” He tried looking back at me, but I was too close.

“That jacket isn’t big enough if we sit side by side. This way we can keep each other warm.”

“Why don’t we just go back to the car? We’re finished eating, right?”

I nodded. Maybe I’d made him too uncomfortable.

“Ok.” I gave him back his jacket and put our trash in the bag that the containers had come in. “Let’s go then.”

I stood up, forgetting I had somehow hopped on one foot to get to our sitting place from the place where I’d jumped off swing—without Junsu noticing. The moment rested my weight on my right foot I remembered. Pain shot up through my ankle surprising me so that I tripped. I grimaced. Great…ouch.

“Ara, are you ok? What happened?”

 I laughed it off and stood back up, favoring my wounded foot. “Oh, clumsy me. I must’ve tripped on…” I looked around. What could I possibly have trip of? Sand?

“Air?” He finished for me, sarcastically.

“My shoe laces?” I tried.

“Ara, you don’t have shoe laces.”

He pointed and I remembered that I’d worn my ballet flats today.

“Right, I knew that.” I said, then started rambling to salvage the situation. “I just…sometimes forget that I’m not wearing them and…I’m so worried about tripping over them, that I get so clumsy and…trip on nothing.”

Junsu didn’t look like he believed me. But he did laugh. “I don’t know why you think I’d believe that, but it did sound pretty silly.”

I blushed and looked down. “Ok, ok. I must’ve bruised my ankle or something jumping off the swing before. And if you want to know, I feel pretty stupid about it, ok?”

“You don’t have you feel stupid. You were just having fun.” He reason, taking off his jacket and draping it over me again.

“Uh…” I looked down at him. “What are you doing?”

Then he crouched in front of me. “Go ahead.” He said. “Get on my back and I’ll carry you to the car.”

“Are you kidding? I can’t do that! Besides, I’m fine.”

“Your ankle hurts, right? What if it’s sprained or broken?”

I put my hands on my hips. “I’ll bet you anything the joints are just sore from landing so hard. It’s nothing, trust me. Besides, I weigh too much.”

Without another work, Junsu leaned back, grabbed my legs, and started standing. Off balance and surprised, I had no choice but to throw my arms around his neck so that I didn’t fall backwards.

“No you don’t.” He countered, hoisting my up on his back. “And you’re still cold, aren’t you? My jacket isn’t big enough for us to walk side by side.”

I grinned and held my arms tighter around his chest. He carried me to the car, but instead of setting me down so that I could get in, he kept walking.

“Junsu, where are you going?” I questioned, trying to look over my shoulder without unbalancing him. “The car is back that way!” I took one hand off to point behind us.

“I know.” He replied. “I feel like walking.”

“You feel like walking? Do you know how far my dorm is from here?”

“No, but it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care; I’m strong enough to carry you there.”

“You really don’t need to. I can walk, you know.”

“But then we wouldn’t able to share the jacket and you know how far of a walk it would be in this cold weather.”

I shook my head at him. “But what about your car?”

“What about my car? It’s still back at the ramen shop; I can walk back for it.”

I didn’t argue him any further. If he really wanted to carry me, I certainly didn’t mind…although this seemed awfully cliché…