I stopped and stole one last glanced at the house before disappearing in the neighbourhood.

----

I run and run and run. Just to be far away from him and from all of this.

My tears just kept running down. People would stare at me as I ran pass them but I don't give a single care. 

Soon, it started raining. Making my tears blend with the rain. It was already getting darker.
 

I can feel my clothes soaked in wet. I ignored it.

'I wonder what is Jiyong doing now?' I shook my head at the thought of my baby boy. I can't think of him. I must get rid off him in my life. He betrayed me. how am I gonna remember to forget if I always have him in my head - and in my heart.

I stopped. I need to catch my breath. I looked around and I stopped in a deserted place - well at least in this time of night no one would go here.

Somewhere you cannot see anyone, the perfect place to be alone at night - playground for kids. All the kids already went home with their parents since it was already dark and time for their bedtime.

I slowly walked and sat on the swing. I leaned my head on the side. I sighed. "Eottoke? What am I going to do now?"

"Let's break up Ji"

I looked at him filled with pain and betrayal.

But nothing hurts more as I watch him try to accept the truth.

He shook his head not wanting to accept it "You don't mean that baby~" he awkwardly laughed. "Stop kidding around babe. What you said is too much, let's talk first okay"

I saw fear in his eyes. It was the first time I seem him getting scared.

"Is he scared of losing me...or is he scared of losing his love for Sandara?" 

For once the rain felt refreshing as it lands in my skin. 

I looked up in the sky "God! Can you hear me? Why out of all people, this happened to me?! Why did I have to travel time? Why did I have the same name as her" my voice starts to crumble. "A-and last of all... Why did I have to fall for him?"

I wiped the tears across my face. Ever since I met Jiyong, my life had been a rollercoaster ride. Ji makes me smile but there are times where he hurts me unintentionally. And this time...it hurts so much that my heart ripped itself apart.

Do you know how it feels to feel like you had been used? Used to satisfy ones feelings?

I've always been contented with my life until I met Jiyong. He changed it. He introduced me to a world I had never imagined of. Most importantly, he introduced me to 'Love'.

I had heard of it in my time but it was all bad news. They made all their wives like it was just another slave. It was why I despised the noblemen. They used their power to gain their needs. But the love Jiyong introduced me is nowhere near it.

It felt like I was in cloud 9. 

"Is this the difference between the past and the future?" I muttered.

"I never thought people had changed so much..." 

I raised my hand to collect the waters falling from the sky. Then it suddenly stopped. I frowned. Today is not going the way I thought it would be.

I dazed off, watching the beautiful sky. There are heaps of stars out today. I wonder if my parents are looking down on me from heaven. 

"Ma, Pa. You're dissapointed on me, aren't you?" I tried smiling but it came out bitter. "Crying over a boy... I, too never expected that someday this would happen"

I felt a tear dropped at the corner of my eyes, I ignored it. "But you know what Pa, Ma...? Jiyong had been the best thing that happened to my life. I can feel he was the one for me. But I let him go... Your daughter is stupid right?" I sadly chuckled.

"Dara?"

I heard someone called me, I snapped out of my thoughts. I wiped the empty tears before looking for the source of the man. I slowly turned around and I gasped. Kim Jaejoong.

"Jaejoong?"

Jaejoong laughed "What a nice surprised. I only just came from the market and I was about to go home. I never expected to see you out at this time of the night."

From the corner of my eyes, I saw him carrying 2 plastic bags on each hand. I awkwardly laughed.

Jaejoong noticed that my eyes and nose are lightly red. "Have you been crying Dara? Your eyes are swollen..."

I lowly gasped. I cupped my face and I felt the heat steaming through my skin. Even though I couldn't see it, I knew he was right. 

"You're soaking wet Dara!" He gasped. 

I went through my hair and it was soaking wet as if I had gone into a shower. I frowned.

Jaejoong tried to lighten up and said "I heard the good news today. I heard you and Jiyong are together" even though it hurts him to say it.

I deeply sighed "Hmmm...".

Jaejoong frowned "Did you and Jiyong had a fight?" he cautiously asked.

I didn't answer but my sad look told him everything he needed to know.

"Why don't you come to my house and talk about it. I might not be a professional psychiatrist but talking about your problems to someone really helps according to someone I know" he offered.

I looked at him suspiciously.

"I'll cook" he raised the plastic bags indicating that he'll cook dinner. "I promise I won't do anything or unless you want me too" Jaejoong greasingly joked.

I'm still having second doubts but my stomach grumbled like a thunder and answered for me. I mentally scolded my stomach.

"I'll take that as a yes" Jaejoong laughed "My house is just few blocks away"

"Fine"

"You need fresh clothes or else you will get sick. You can borrow mine as soon as we get there" Jaejoong eyed me.

With no choice, I walked with him.

-----

Just about Jaejoong and I the right street...

"DARA! BABY GIRL! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Jiyong shouted across the neighbourhood.

Jiyong turned into our direction but we already turned right. With no hesitation, he walked right passed the street.

Neither did I hear his loving voice.

-----

Just as I finish taking a hot shower and changing into Jaejoong's clothes.

Jaejoong finished cooking and placed the plates on the table. It was perfectly done like it was made in the restaurant.

It was so tempting. I can already feel myself drooling over it. The smell was just 'Ah~' I can't even describe it.

I didn't hesitate and took a fork and ate it once it was in front of me. I looked at him in shock "This is the most delicious dish I've ever tasted" I gave him a thumbs up and went back to eating. "What is this heavenly dish called?"

"That heavenly dish you are eating is called Spaghetti bolognese" Jaejoong chuckled "Is it better than Jiyong's cooking?"

My smile instantly dissapeared just by hearing his name.

I stopped. I glanced at him and smiled bitter "I have never tasted his cooking before. Tonight, he cooked omelettes specifically for me. I was supposed to eat it until - the night was ruined" I put down the fork and looked down in shame.

Jaejoong sat down in front of me "Why? What happened?"

"I broke up with him"

"Eh?!"

"Do you know by any chance any Sandara Park beside me?"

Jaejoong stiffened. 'I know her wild and clear'. "Yes, I do know her" he nodded.

I took a deep breath before telling him everything "I met Big Bang and 2NE1 today and they were pretty shocked to see me. CL and Jiyong even had an argument about me..."

'Can't blame them' Jaejoong thought.

I continued. "Before I even knew it, I was left alone with Sohee in the room. She started telling me about how I am not good enough to Jiyong. She also talked about Jiyong's past, specifically about Sandara. I really don't know why she was telling me all this but it was clear that she was deliberately breaking my heart"

"I can't believe Sohee would do this..." Jaejoong shook his head "I thought she was a good girl"

I scoffed "That's what I thought in the first place but I was wrong"

"So I guess Sohee told you everything about her right?"

I nodded "I didn't want to believe what she was saying. She told me that Jiyong was using me to satisfy his unfinished feelings for Sandara but I confirmed it myself..."

"How?" Jaejoong raised his eyebrow at me.

"I found pictures of her in his drawer near his bed. I am guessing that he looks at them everyday before he goes to sleep judging by the fact that there were dozens of them and there was even a butterfly pin. Did you know that he called her his butterfly?"

Jaejoong tried to stop me and wanted to say something important but I continued talking.

"I feel so angry at myself for letting him used me for his personal gains. I hated her. I hated the girl who had the same name as me and who also had Jiyong's heart before me. Although I know it is wrong of me to hate her but Sohee described her as if she was some kind of angel. Everyone looked up to her"

Jaejoong sadly nodded "I know. I know it very well..."

I looked at him confuse. He seem to have known the truths more than me "How do you know?"

"I am assuming that Sohee hasn't told you everything..."

"What do you mean?"

"Sandara died Dara. She died because of Cancer"

I gasped. I feel so horrible.

"I can still remember it fully well. The day that she died. The day that I recieved the shocking news. The day that Big Bang and 2NE1 mourned. The day that Kwon Jiyong died inside. I still remember them, I was there..."

[Flashback]

A couple of years ago.

DBSK was practing hard on the cheography on their latest single 'Mirotic'.

They were all covered in sweat. Then a ringtone rang. They decided to take five...

"Jae, you have a text message"  Yunho passed the phone to him.

"Oooh~ Is it Sandara noona?" Changmin snickered.

Yoochun smacked him in the back of the head "Dara noona already has a boyfriend, dickhead"

Junsu then smacked Yoochun in the head "Bastard. Consider other people's feelings as well" Changmin smirked at Yoochun.

Yoochun pretended to hit him again and Changmin cowered behind the leader, Yunho.

Jaejoong laughed and excitedly looked at the new text message. he gasped. It says:

Dara has sadly passed away, hyung. She died because of cancer. Jiyong is currently losing his mind here, please come to the hospital as soon as possible.

-TOP

Almost instantly, Jaejoong grabbed his keys and jacket then ran outside the room.

He arrived in the hospital and ran towards the counter "Where is Sandara Park located?"

The woman pointed where the VIP rooms are. He sprinted his off until he saw Jiyong outside alone. Sitting down on the chair, staring on the floor dejectively.

He stomped his way towards him. He pushed him against the wall. He clutched his collar and lifted Jiyong up in the air. "WHAT KIND OF ED UP NONSENSE DID I JUST READ?!" Jaejoong shouted in his face.

Jiyong lazily blinked before looking at Jae and he what?! Jiyong just smirked in front of Jaejoong which fueled his anger more.

Jaejoong gave Jiyong another push in the wall "WHY THE ARE YOU STILL SMILING AT THIS TIME?"

"Agh!" he whimpered in pain but still kept his smile in him.

He never took his gaze off Jae. "She's dead, Jae. The woman you had a crush on for years is dead"

To Jaejoong, it was a heartbraking news. Everyone should be saddened by the news but how come Jiyong was smirking?

"No it can't be. This can't happen" Jaejoong let go of Jiyong and took a step backward. He shook his head. He didn't want to admit it. He never wanted to accept the truth.

Jaejoong then glanced back at Jiyong "You!" he gritted his teeth. "You should have known. You should have known about Dara's cancer. Why didn't you tell me?"

Jiyong didn't respond.

"TELL ME WHY?!" Jaejoong roared. He ran to him. He tried an attempt to punch Jiyong's face. Just a centimeter away, he stopped. He heard his name.

"JAE HYUNG! STOP!" TOP screamed. Big Bang and 2NE1 opened the door, about to exit only to see Jae about to hit Jaejoong.

TOP and Taeyang ran to Jaejoong and hold him back while Daesung and Seungri checked for Jiyong.

Jiyong pushed their arms off him.

Jaejoong saw the 2NE1 girls come out. He noticed that their face was swollen because of too much crying. In that moment, he confirmed it.

Dara is really dead.

"Dara can't die. She can't" Jaejoong stumbled back and hit his back on the wall. He leaned on it, his legs was about to give in if he didn't.

In the corner of his eye, Jiyong saw Dara's body laying on the bed.

"Dara... Dara baby. You can't die here. You can't leave me here... Come... Let's go home now" Jiyong starts to walk towards the door. Big Bang didn't hesitate to stop Jiyong.

Once Jiyong felt Big Bang stopping him, he went ballistic "LET ME GO! MY BUTTERFLY SAYS SHE WANTS TO GO HOME! LET GO!"

"She's dead hyung. Please don't make it more hard for us" Daesung muttered.

Jiyong's eyes widened. He finally snapped back in the real world. Tears automatically starts flowing down.

Jiyong pushed everyone off him. He moved away from the door. He stumbled and fell on the floor. Still looking at Dara's body.

Big Bang and 2NE1 gasped.

"Oppa~" Minzy sadly mumbled.

It hurts them to see Jiyong act like this but what they are feeling cannot be compared to what Jiyong is feeling right now.

Jiyong lifted himself up and starts walking away. "ARGH!" He kicked a trash can along the way. Jiyong punched a hole in the wall.

Big Bang didn't hesitate to stop him but CL moved in their way and shook her head. CL motioned them not to follow him.

"CL is right. He needs some time alone" Bom convinced everyone.

Meanwhile, Jaejoong stood up and walked in front of the door.

Once he got to the door, he saw Dara lying in that white bed. His knees gave in. Bom who was the closest, luckily caught Jaejoong before he fell to the ground.

Jaejoong lightly pushes Bom away, at the same time he assured him he was okay.

He sat down beside Dara.

Jaejoong started sobbing. He took her hand and held on it tightly "Dara-ah. Why didn't you tell us that you had a cancer? There were lots of opportunities where you could've told us. Is this the reason why you always invite me to drink and you end up crying instead? You never told me the reason why so I assumed it was about Jiyong"

His voice started trembeling "You are the most stubborn person I have met, you know that right. You always put others before you. You had us completely fooled. Your smile blinded us from everything"

Jaejoong carresed her face "I didn't even get to tell you that I loved you. If I wanted to, I could've stole you away from Jiyong but I didn't. I saw your smile whenever you hear Jiyong's name. You lightened up. You loved him so much that I forced myself to forget about you. But in the end, I didn't. I have always watched you from the side, it hurts me to see you with Ji. But seeing you smile keeps reminding me that my sacrifice was worth it"

Jaejoong noticed Dara. She seemed to be smiling. He tried his best to smile "You are happy that I am talking about Jiyong aren't you?" He bitterly joked.

But he was at his limit. Tears fell like it was waterfalls. He gently dropped his head where he was holding Dara's hand.

Big Bang and 2NE1 watched Jaejoong cry. They can clearly hear him sobbed. It only made them want to cry even more.

Bom leaned on TOP who is crying her heart out. Dara was her bestest friend. It hurts too much. TOP comforted her.

Seungri tried to hold back his tears but CL knew he was at his limits. CL hugged Seungri "This one time, let it out" she whispered in his ears as she patted his back.

Seungri was stunned at first but he finally gave in. He let out all of the tears he controlled back earlier "Noona...noona is...."

CL silently cries as she rests her head on Seungri.

Daesung took Minzy's hand and held it tightly. Minzy was watching everyone cry. She wanted to be strong but it was hard. Eventually she leaned on Daesung and cried.

Taeyang who is leaning on the door. He silently cry to himself. He perfectly knew what Jaejoong felt. He too, had a feeling for Dara but he restrained himself because Jiyong was his bestfriend. 

At least Dara died smiling...

-----

Jaejoong explained how it all happened.

I wiped my tears out of the way, I felt ashamed that I actually hated the girl. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know..." I sobbed.

"It's not finished yet Dara. Why do you think Jiyong acted like that when he heard Sandara died?"

I shot him a look, the answer was obvious "Because he was so in love with Sandara"

Jaejoong nodded "Yes he was but there were also another reason why Jiyong changed after she died..."

"What is it?"

"They were engaged Dara. Jiyong was enganged to her. He proposed to her, the day before she died. Sandara never told anyone about her cancer that's why Jiyong blamed himself"

I horrifiedly gasped. I stayed quiet. I didn't know what to say.

"But Dara..." Jaejoong became serious.

I looked at him.

"Jiyong really loves you. He has never felt like this to anyone until now. I can safely say this even if I hated my own cousin"

'Cousin?' I thought. "You're cousin with Jiyong?! But you hated him and he hates you"

Jaejoong bitterly smilled "Ever since Sandara died, I blamed Jiyong. No matter how I think of it, Jiyong should've known about Dara's cancer. Instead of supporting him like Big Bang and 2NE1, I hated him then he hated me"

I nodded in understanding "But how do you know if he loves me for who I am, not for looking alike Sandara?".

Jaejoong sighed "After all these years, Jiyong hasn't contacted me. But this particular afternoon, he called me. He called me just to say that he has fallen in love with you and it is not because you look like Sandara. He loves you because of who you are. I don't know what happened this afternoon but I can feel that the Kwon Jiyong I knew back then, is alive"

I smiled. Thinking that I was the one who changed him for the better makes me special.

It then hit me. Why am I hesitating when the person I love is right in front of me? I need fo find him. I need to say sorry that I doubted him. I need to say I love him.

I stood up from my seat, startling Jaejoong. "I'm sorry Jae. You are right. He does love me but I'm too scared enough to admit it. I need to find him now" I bowed 90 degrees before running out the house.

Jaejoong smiled "Took you long enough..."

-----

[Author’s POV]

Dara ran and ran and ran. Going back towards Jiyong's house. She didn't stop running, even though her breath is not catching up to her.

She desperately needed to come home to him. Embrace him. Kiss him. Love him. Her mind was set.

Little did she know, as she was running. Her hands... Her arms...

Began to disappear.