You said you loved me.

I love you too.

You promised we’ll be together.

I wish for that too.

But you left me.

I’m just a fool for loving you.

I couldn’t protect the shot of liquor I held in my hand. I just watched my friend steal it and eagerly swallow every ounce of my salvation. My God, she’s as fast as a thief. I felt like a child who was robbed of her favorite lollipop. But I was too tired to retaliate. In fact, I’m too exhausted… to breathe…to live.

All my pain, all my tears, all my delusions… I put it into that shot. I was supposed to drink it and forget. I was supposed to bury those inside me and go to heaven or hell or wherever this sweet poison can take me.

I gave her everything I could ever give- my heart, my soul, my dreams… my everything. Weren’t it enough? Was I not enough?

“Ah, Taeyeonah~~! This pink water is the shiz” I heard Sunny say.

I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. How much have I taken in? Why am I still awake? I should be knocked out by now, that was the goal. That was MY goal. 

“But this is getting boring Taeyeon! Let’s go to another bar or club, dance and drink some more and get wasted! C’mon! Up, up and away!” Sunny tugged me to get up.

I brightened at the thought of her suggestion. As expected, Sunny is different… unlike Yul or Soo. Those two are no fun. They’ve been telling me to stop my celebration. Sunny’s my best friend. She understands me. S