You sat lonely at the small chair on the rooftop of the SM building. It was quiet and very windy up there but you didn't really care, you just wanted to be somewhere alone. The rooftop had several tables with chairs but at the moment you were the only one there, drinking just a small bottle of soju. It was night time as you looked down at the city seeing the bright sparkling night street lights of Seoul. You sighed pouring yourself another small glass of soju and willing down the strong clear drink. Your held the clear small shot glass up to your eyes and smiled seeing how the wet trails of soju on the glass reminded you of how rain would drip down the window by your bed. The one you shared with Pyo. 

At that sudden memory you inhales sharply remembering how you found him that day on his birthday. Your eyes began to haze over, but you just let the small tear droplets fall down your cheeks as you continued to stare through the glass. You had pushed all the thoughts of him away but it seems the influence of alcohol had made you want to face all the thoughts. A smile formed on your lips as you let the first one slip from the strong hold you had on it for the past two weeks.

'That woman, Pyo obviously cared more about her. He let her get closer to him than you ever did, Pabo. She even got farther with him than you did. He probably even loved her more the way he held onto her even though he had you. Bet she's even prettier than you and more talented. He probably got tired of you, some one who is clumsy and a freak. Why did you have to be such a pabo huh? You should've done more for him, that way you would still be with him and he wouldn't have to go to other woman to be able to deal with you' 

You smiled slightly looking through the shot glass again remembering your first night with Pyo. You guys hadn't done anything that night, but still it was unforgettable. It was about a week after you moved in with him and he had probably instigated that you were ready since you practically had to spell it out to him during the movie. As if the way your fingers kept dancing on his belly just over his belt didn't scream it to him. But you guys approached your bedroom where you guys usually would split the bed between the two of you. He held your hand and you could feel his shaking as he gulped loudly.

He looked away but you could hear him whispering things to himself like 'you can do this' and 'you love her' as if to motivate himself. It was honestly really cute at how nervous he was, until he suddenly yelled 'daebak!' and pulled you into the room. You stumbled a bit only to bump into his side as his eyes were glued to the bed. You could see the sweat forming at his brow. His eyes were glued to the bed but it seems he gained enough courage to finally look at you in the eyes. But as soon as he did, he squeaked and went jumping into the corner of the room curled into a ball. You could see him pulling on his hair arguing with himself that it was no big deal, that you were waiting, that he needs to man up. He looked at you over his shoulder again, but squeaked again and went whispering to himself again. This time he was asking himself what he should do and how he should start. 

After awhile you had lost the feeling and was using kind of fangirling over his cute innocence as he continued to beat himself up in the corner. But then your fan girl fuel ran out and you were tired, so you decided to get changed in your pajamas. You opened the drawers and pulled out your pajamas, setting them on top of the dresser. You pulled your skirt off and your shirt off as well revealing your blue bra and purple bikinis. About to pul your pajama shirt on, you were surprised to feel arms wrap around your waist and be pulled into bed. 

"Pyo?" You asked turning to face him.

"Ahhh don't look at me, I'm too embarrassed" he yelled digging his face into your back.

"Let's not do it tonight _______, please I want it to be special for you and not just a random time. Please_____, can we just cuddle like this?" He asked shyly behind you.

You were shocked at his words. He didn't just want it to be special for him but for you too. He was thinking of you too, and you couldn't be more touched. You smiled and twisted into his arms to cuddle into his warm slightly squishy chest. His arms tightened around you as you dug yourself deep into his embrace kind of shocked to see that he was only in his boxers. But his bare skin was so mucher warmer, he was just so warm you didn't even need a blanket. 

You sniffled putting the shot glass down and looked down at the night lights again. You your phone and slipped your lime green beats on turning the music on to full blast. With your other hand you grabbed the half filled bottle of soju and approached the rooftop edge. You took a drink before hoisting yourself on top of the cement edge and looked down at the city. Thirty stories down, there was a cement sidewalk, it looked so inviting. You took another long drink slipping off your thick black coat and letting it slip through the air from your fingers. The cold night gripped you as you threw the bottle over you shoulder, now empty, before spreading your arms  a rush of strong wind rushing past you. You couldn't hear anything except for the sound of Angel by Exo K. 

'Maybe I can become an angel' you thought as a tear slipped from the corner of your eye.

Just one step and them you could just be gone. It seemed like such a great plan, sounded so much better than this life now. A smile appeared on your face, your foot inching forward towards the emoty space in front of you. The song quickly changed to 'Why did I fall in love with you' by DBSK.

"I don't know why you loved me from the star either Pyo, it was a mistake" you said to yourself.

Your foot was supsended in the air just waiting for you to go dead wait and be embraced by the arms of the sidewalk below. You didn't even notice how long your stayed like that with your foot on empty air and your arms spread until the song changed to ' Go Away' by 2ne1, how fitting.

'Don't worry, I'll go away' you thought before letting yourself to go limp.

You weight began to sink flowly and you body tilting forward with your arms going back slightly. You closed your eyes titling your head up towards the dark night sky. You just wanted to go away, but you felt a grip on your wrist pulling you back. You opened your eyes to find not the cement of the sidewalk but the cement flooring of the rooftop. There was someone next to you but you didn't even want to know who it was, why couldn't you have just go away, forever. You pulled your headphones off and slowly turned towards the person.

"Are you crazy?" The person yelled in an unusually deep voice.

Your eyes widened and your heart pained to see the person who had saved you is also the person who made you want to jump. He seemed shock too as his angry expression was replaced by shock and guilt. Your mouth quivered a bit trying to say something but nothing seemed to form.

"What do you think your doing! Trying go kill yourself and jump! Why would you do that?" He asked his voice cracking at/the end.

"Why are you here? Why did you stop me? Why couldn't you be like anyone else and just by pass and act like you saw nothing? Why, do you really want me to suffer that much?" You yelled your voice breaking. 

Pyo seemed taken back by your response as he stood up. You stood up as well years streaming down your face glaring at him. He really must hate you and want you to suffer if he stopped you from ending everything then and there. 

"Pyo Jihoon, the innocent maekna of Block B. Little TOP. Do you really hate me? Enough to stop me from ending all my suffering?" You asked pretty sure you already knew the answer.

"No! I never hated you, I loved you so much" he whispered the last .

"You shouldn't be saying that to me, but to the girl I found you with" you almost snarled.

"But I don't loved her, I never did. You were the only girl I loved jagi" he swallowed loudly.

"Then why did you sleep with her? Why did you betray my trust and sleep with another girl especially when you had me?" you cried.

"Because I was pathetic and insecure. You were ready and every time you wanted to you looked so y and I felt so insecure because of my weight and figure. I didn't know how you, someone so y, could want to be with someone like me who is squemish about things like and especially someone with my body shape. And even though you didn't mind, I did and wanted to get over my insecurity before you got tired of me and left me. That girl you caught me with, she said she would help me get over my insecurity, I had no idea she meant that way, but when I protested she would always say 'don't you love your girlfriend, don't you want to get over your insecurity before she leaves you, if you don't then she'll get tired of waiting'. And I would give in, I was just so self-conscience and I wanted too get over my fear over that type of intimacy so you wouldn't leave me" he cried, tears dripping down his chin.

You covered your mouth with both hands as you continued to listen to him. You had no idea that P.O was that insecure about himself, you didn't think he cared that much about his weight thae way he would just laugh things off. But you were wrong, he was so insecure of him having that body for your first time, he actually tried to find ways to get over it. Everything he did was for you. P.O who was naive and innocent had some one take advantage of his innocence and manipulate him. It wasn't P.O's fault, he just wanted to be comfortable with himself.

It was quite as Pyo finished what he said. He suddenly looked up at seeing the tears that slipped down your face. He looked back down thinking you didn't believe him. He took a step about to walk away when you ran to him and pressed you lips against his. Pyo gasped a bit from the sudden action until you put your hands to the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you. His hands went to your waist holding your hips to his kissing you back. You pulled apart from the kiss tasting the tears you and him shared.

"Dummy, you shouldn't feel insecure about your weight or figure, I loved you because you made me smile and light me day up when you did aegyo. I don't care about your weight or if you ripped or not, I love your for you. You should have know I would've never have left you, I don't care if we did it or not, I just wanted you Pyo, just you for myself" you cried holding his face in your hands.

Pyo sniffled letting another tear escaped from his eye. He took your hands and kissed your palms before wrapping them around his neck  putting his forehead against yours. You sniffled the back of his neck as he wrapped your close to him. Suddenly he reached somewhere and wrapped something around you making you pull away and look to see the coat you had dropped. 

"Where did you get this?" You asked.

"How do you think I found you? It came flying at my face and when I looked to see where it came from I saw your figure standing at edge and hurried over" he said slipping your arms into the sleeves. 

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Owwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!! My fingers hurt so much from typing. Here's a super long chapter to make up for the wait. But poor PYo, he was just self conscience and insecure about himself. And sometimes people will go to great measures to get over their iinsecuritiess. Sometimes plastic surgery, lyposuction, tummy tucks, jobs, anorexia, bulimia, who knows. Pyo was just had someone's manipulate his innocence and his devotion to you for their own pleasure.