Kai’s POV

 

I woke up late the next afternoon. I looked at my clock and couldn’t believe it was 3 p.m already. I searched for my phone and finally found it in my pants pocket. I pulled it out and threw the pants to the side. I texted Junha and after a minute with no reply I decided to shower. 

 

 

After I got out I checked my phone again, still no reply. I knew Junha was up by now because she never slept pass noon. Suddenly I was worried. I had a bad feeling, but wasn’t sure what it was about. I dressed and walked to Luhan’s room, hoping he was awake. I could see his door was open as I entered the living room and I knocked on it, “Luhan?”

 

 

“Yeah,” he replied turning away from his desk and taking a head phone out.

 

 

“Have you heard from Junha today?” I asked.

 

 

He shook his head and I sighed. I ran a hand through my wet hair, shaking it. I knew Luhan was close to her, but I didn’t know how close so his answer didn’t really help me. For all I knew they probably didn’t text each other a lot. I wondered why she wasn’t texting me back. She couldn’t be mad at me again, I didn’t do anything wrong in the last few hours. I couldn’t have because I was asleep. 

 

 

I checked my phone again to make sure she hadn’t texted while I was asleep. She could have gotten annoyed because I didn’t text her back. I didn’t have anything from anyone since 9 last night. I was suddenly startled as a hand landed on my shoulder. I looked up to see Luhan looking at me, he being the one who startled me. 

 

 

“What’s wrong Kai?” he asked clearly concerned.

 

 

“Junha hasn’t texted me back and it’s been over 30 minutes. I have a really bad feeling Luhan!” I told him, looking down at his doe eyes.

 

 

“Like something happened to her?” he asked, his concern turning to my girlfriend.

 

 

I nodded, unsure of what to do exactly. We hadn’t even been officially dating for 24 hours. Should I go to her? Wait for her to text me back? I sighed yet again.

 

 

“Come on. I’ll help you find her. I know you must be worried, I mean, you did fight for her yesterday. You clearly love her,” Luhan commented patting me on the back. 

 

 

I nodded and headed toward the door. We both slipped on our shoes and left. We went to her dorm first only to find it unlocked and no one home. That wasn’t like Junha or JaeNi. The door was only left unlocked when one or both were there. 

 

 

I let Luhan in on this, “Something is definitely wrong. Neither Junha nor JaeNi would leave their door unlocked if no one was here.”

 

 

Luhan pulled at his lip before he spoke, “Well who else’s dorms could she be in?”

 

 

“Well if not her dorm and not ours than Suho’s, Tao’s,” I listed off people with my fingers and grimaced as I said the last person I could think of, “or Taemin’s.”   

 

 

Luhan nodded, “Taemin’s dorm is closest. Let’s try there first. Then I think Tao’s dorm would be next. Lastly would be Suho’s dorm.”

 

 

I nodded and we headed down the hall. We stopped at Taemin’s dorm and I knocked. We waited a few minutes but no one answered.

 

 

Luhan shrugged, “Guess they’re not here. Tao’s dorm?”

 

 

“Yeah,” I replied, relieved slightly that Junha wasn’t here.

 

 

Not that it doesn’t mean she isn’t with him, my brain said, You know they are friends.

Shut up! Even if they are together, it doesn’t mean anything! I retorted.

 

 

I pulled out my phone as we headed upstairs. 

 

 

To: Bad Guy

Have you seen Junha today?

 

 

We got to Tao’s floor when Taemin replied.

 

 

From: Bad Guy

Nope. Why? Did you lose your girlfriend so soon?

 

 

I glared at my phone and decided it would be better for me to ignore the idiot rather than reply. Luhan knocked on the door as we reached Tao’s room. Kris opened the door after a few seconds. He leaned against the door looking tired. 

 

 

“Yeah?” he asked running a hand across his cheek.

 

 

“Is Junha here?” I asked.

 

 

He nodded, “Yeah, but she’s asleep right now. She and Tao haven’t had a good morning.”

 

 

“What happened?” I asked, knowing my feeling had been right.

 

 

Kris sighed and waved us in, “Follow me.”

 

 

We walked in behind Kris. I saw a lump on the couch and realized it was Junha. Her brown hair was peeping out of the top of the blanket that covered her. Tao was sprawled out, asleep on the counter, face on his arm and turned toward us. It looked tearstained, but I couldn’t be sure because I’d never known of Tao to cry. We followed Kris to what I assumed was Tao’s room and he sat on the bed. Luhan sat on the floor in front of him as I remained standing, too worried about what had happened to be still.

 

 

“Apparently Winterheart went back to America,” he told us.

 

 

“Winterheart?” I questioned, not really following.

 

 

“JaeNi. They had these pet names for each other, he called her Winterheart and she called him Cave Dweller,” Luhan explained.

 

 

“They were not pet names,” Kris stated as I nodded my understanding, “We despise each other, Luhan.”

 

 

Luhan shrugged as I replied, “What does that have to do with anything? How long will she be gone?”

 

 

“It has everything to do with the situation. She won’t be coming back and now she has broken the three most important people in my life because she couldn’t handle her !” Kris retorted.

 

 

“What do you mean by ‘broken’ and ‘three most important people’” I asked pacing.

 

 

Kris sighed, “One: Suho was in love with her, therefore his heart is broken. Two: Tao and JaeNi were really close. She was his first friend here and he is crushed that she left like she did. Three: Junha depends on JaeNi, she was Junha’s only female friend and now Junha is alone and depressed. I’m talking level eight depressed.”

 

 

“What is level eight depressed,” I asked as alarm sat in.

 

 

“On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being suicidal, Junha is an 8. She just sits there, dazed, with tears streaming down her face. It was a miracle she fell asleep. Earlier she would just nod off and suddenly sit up wailing,” Kris explained.

 

 

“What can I do to help her?” my voice cracking with worry.

 

 

“I don’t honestly know. She isn’t the type to take someone close leaving her well. In the few years I’ve known her she has always skipped the first 3 levels of depression and jumped right to level 4, but I’ve never seen her go pass that. Even when that damn kitten she had for a week died, she was sad but it didn’t last more than two days. She usually gets angry before she ever gets sad. This is a new situation for us all, except maybe Suho,” Kris replied thoughtfully.

 

 

Luhan looked at them both skeptically, “I doubt Suho will be any help. The poor guy must be ripped apart as well. Poor babies.”

 

 

Kris chuckled weakly, “Actually Suho will probably handle this A LOT better than Junha. He has been through heartache plenty of times.”

 

 

Luhan tsked, “Kris, you know nothing of the heart.”

 

 

This time Kris outright laughed, “And you do, Oh Mighty Guru of Love?”

 

 

Luhan scoffed, “Of course. I’ve only loved one person, since I was eight. Though I admit he pisses me off all the time. How would you act if Tao just suddenly left?”

 

 

I saw Kris actually ponder this question seriously. Kris was pondering a question of feeling seriously? I was amazed, until a wail interrupted their conversation. We all rushed to the living room to find Junha unraveled from the blanket, curled on the opposite end of the couch from where she fell asleep. Tao was standing on the counter where he had fallen asleep as well, in what I assumed was one of his wushu stances. 

 

 

He looked as if he was about to kick someone’s , until he realized the sound was coming from Junha and moved so quickly he got there before I could and pulled Junha into his lap. I knelt in front of her as she calmed down slightly. I grabbed her hand and kissed it. She turned her face toward me and away from Tao’s shoulder.

 

 

“Are you okay, baby?” I whispered to her. 

 

 

She shook her head, tears running down her face. I wiped them from her cheeks with my thumbs and held her face in my palms. I kissed her forehead and moved her hair from her face, where it was sticking to her tears. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my neck.  

 

 

“Do you want me to take you back to your room?” I asked her. 

 

 

I could feel her shake her head. Tao was rubbing her back as I picked her up and sat where she had been sitting. I arranged her on my lap as best as I could as Tao continued to rub her back. Kris sat on the other side of us and Luhan sat where I had been kneeling.

 

 

“Do you want to stay here with me and Tao?” Kris asked.

 

 

Again she shook her head. I shook my head also, not sure if they were able to see that she was.

 

 

“Do you want to go back to our room?” Luhan asked this time.

 

 

Junha shrugged. 

 

 

“Well it wasn’t a no,” Luhan said. 

 

 

“Actually, I believe your room would be less painful for her. No memories of ‘You know who’,” Tao whispered.

 

 

I nodded, “Did she bring anything?”

 

 

Kris shook his head, “Just her shoes.”

 

 

“Luhan, get them please,” I asked him.

 

 

He nodded and grabbed the sandals. We made our way to the door.

 

 

“Bye Meimei,” Kris said.

 

 

“Bye Junha,” Tao also bid his goodbye, “We’re here for you.”

 

 

With that we took Junha to our dorm. I didn’t even notice the long journey as Junha fell asleep with me carrying her bridal style. When we got to our room Luhan opened the dorm door and then walked ahead of me to my room.

 

 

“Thanks,” I replied as he opened my door.

 

 

I gently laid the girl in my arms on my bed and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. Luhan brought her shoes and placed them beside the bed. I kissed her cheek before heading to the living room to talk to Luhan. 

 

 

“I have class in the morning at 8, can you stay with Junha till I get back,” I asked, trying to make sure Junha wasn’t left on her own.

 

 

Luhan nodded, “Yeah, but I have to be in class at 10 and you will still be in class at that time.”

“,” I muttered.

 

 

“I don’t think Chanyeol or Baekhyun have class then. Want me to ask them?” Luhan replied.

 

 

I nodded, “I’m going to go lie down with Junha. Let me know how that goes.”

 

 

Luhan gave me a nod as his fingers zipped across his phone’s keypad. 

 

 

I went back to my room and laid on the bed next to the distraught, but asleep, girl. There was no way I was going anywhere when Junha was like this. The only thing I could think of to do was to curl up next to her and pray that she would be better tomorrow. Luhan came in just before I drifted off to say that Baekhyun and Chanyeol would gladly watch over Junha tomorrow. I thanked him and fell asleep with only one thing on my mind, which was that she wouldn’t be like this for long.

 

 

 

Junha’s POV

I woke up in Kai’s bed, not that I remember how I got there. I looked at his clock and realized it was 7:30. ‘, I’m going to be late for class,’ I thought as I carefully crawled out of the bed. I didn’t want to wake Kai.

 

 

I grabbed my sandals from beside the bed, wondering how they had gotten there. I quietly left the dorm, still pondering on what happened yesterday and why I didn’t remember anything. ‘Ehh, who cares,’ I thought.

 

 

I ran to my dorm barefoot and walked in. I was glad it was unlocked because, for some reason, I didn’t have my key on me. I went to check on JaeNi to find she wasn’t in her room. It was strange. She didn’t have class until 9 so I expected her to still be asleep, but I guess she slept in Suho’s room. I shivered at the weirdness of that thought. 

 

 

I still wasn’t fully okay with them being together, especially since their whole relationship started off as an assignment to piss me off. I mean, how could they do that to ME?!? They were both family to me. But I will admit that I wish I had focused on one thought in the beginning, the fact that if Suho and JaeNi lasted, then JaeNi would become my real sister, and not on how it would affect me negatively if something went wrong. 

 

 

“Oh well,” I shrugged, talking to the air.

 

 

I grabbed some clothes from my room and was about to head to the bathroom when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID that read ‘Sweet Lips <3’.

 

 

I grinned, answering it, “Hey babe, what’s up?”

 

 

I held the phone between my ear and shoulder as I went to the bathroom.

 

 

“Where are you? Why’d you leave without waking me up?” he questioned without taking a breath.

 

 

I rolled my eyes, “I’m in my room getting ready for class. And I didn’t wake you because you don’t get up till 7:50, which is why you’re always late to class by the way!”

 

 

I turned the water on as he replied, “Why are you going to class? Are you sure you’re well enough to go?”

 

 

I looked at my reflection thinking, ‘I have a crazy boyfriend. It’s so cute!’

 

 

Instead of saying that out loud, I replied with, “First: its Monday. I have class in about 10 minutes and I’m going to be late as is. Second: I still have to go make sure Suho and JaeNi are up, which will take an extra 5 to 8 minutes. So, yes Kai, I think I’m fine.”

 

 

   “Wait! Do you not remember what happened yesterday?” he asked, concerning seeping through the phone.

 

 

I bit my lip, “Honestly? No. I was wondering about that earlier,” I paused as I realized a possibility, “OMO! Was I drinking yesterday? , there’s no telling what I did! Oh No, I didn’t make anyone mad did I?”

 

 

I could hear Kai sigh, “No, baby. Just stay there, don’t go to class. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

 

 

“Oookay~,” I replied. 

 

 

He hung up as I thought about going to class. But if Kai wanted to play hooky I was game, especially since he would be spending that time with me. I jumped in the shower, happy to finally have the warm water on my aching body. 

 

 

I got out of the shower after 30 minutes, wondering where the hell my boyfriend was. I decided to call JaeNi to make sure she was up. I figured at least one of us should go to class. I heard her ringtone and wondered if she had come back while I was in the shower. With my towel wrapped around me, I followed the song. Her phone was on the bed, but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. 

 

 

And then yesterday’s events came slamming back to my memory. I crumpled to the floor, not being able to handle the pain. I didn’t know how long I laid there crying. Eventually the tears stopped and I heard a voice and felt someone pick me up. I didn’t have the energy to register who it was.

 

 

I didn’t have the energy for anything. I was blank, an empty shell, the pain receding to a dull thud. But so did the rest of my emotions. And I was fine with that. The nothingness washed over me as someone I knew stepped in front of me. I wasn’t sure when I had been placed on the bed and in all honesty, I didn’t care. I couldn’t!

 

 

I stared past…what was his name? I dug around in my brain, feeling as if I should at least hold on to the name of this perfect man in front of me. Kai! The name surfaced but with it came pain. I could feel tears on my face as I hurriedly shoved everything back from the place it had come. 

 

 

The guy wiped the tears from my face muttering, “It’s okay baby. Everything will be better.”

The tear’s stopped as suddenly as they had come as the nothingness wrapped around me once again and I drifted off on a sea of white. 

 

 

 

Sehun’s POV

I woke up Tuesday hopeful. I was meeting Junha today and had a feeling something good was going to happen today. I was going to get a step closer to my goal. As soon as I was fully awake and out of bed I texted her.

 

 

To: Junnie

What café are we meeting at today?

 

 

I couldn’t remember if she had told me last time or not. As I waited for her reply I got ready and then waited around for an hour. No reply! 

 

 

“That’s it,” I mumbled, standing and slamming my palms on my desk.

 

 

I started for the door, but suddenly stopped. I had planned on going to Junha’s room, but I didn’t actually know where that was. I thought about whom I could ask that wouldn’t be too interested in why I was asking. I could have asked Suho, but I didn’t have that old coot’s number. Kai would ask too many questions, so he was out. Suddenly it came to me. LAY!

He knew everyone’s room numbers. It surprised me that he and Junha never hooked up. They were a lot like each other. Then again I suppose the whole ordeal with Taemin ed Lay’s chances up.

 

 

To: Annoying Twit

What’s Junha’s room number?

 

 

It didn’t take long for him to answer.

 

 

From: Annoying Twit

Why?

 

 

To: Annoying Twit

None of your damn business! Now what is her ing room number?

 

 

From: Annoying Twit

Well, from what I hear, her ing room is A69 which is Kai’s room. As for her dorm room, which I’m guessing is what you’re really after, it’s D397. But if you tap that let me know!

 

 

To: Annoying Twit

1st: Gross. 2nd: Thanks. And 3rd: You are a ing .

 

 

From: Annoying Twit

You have no idea Sehun, no idea.

 

 

I shook my head as I grabbed my key and left. A few minutes later found me in front of what I hoped was Junha’s door, if Lay hadn’t been trying to pull some stunt. At first I thought he had as the doe-eyed kid from my literature class opened the door, but I noticed a pair of Junha’s heels at the entrance. It was a one of a kind pair my mom had given to her when she graduated high school.

 

 

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

 

 

“I should be asking you that,” he shot back.

 

 

“I’m here to see, Junha,” I replied, rather annoyed already. 

 

 

I noticed the glare he gave me as his cheeks turned a light pink, “And why is that?”

 

 

I chuckled as I quickly found a suitable lie, “We have a…project we are working on and I need to discuss it with her.”

 

 

“Well that may be a bit difficult,” he said biting his lip.

 

 

That plus the way his big brown eyes stared at me full of worry made me bite back the smart comment I had. Why was this kid so adorable?

 

 

“Why,” I asked instead.

 

 

He sighed and moved from in front of the entrance he had been blocking, “Junha…hasn’t been herself lately. Come see for yourself.”

 

 

He walked back inside and I followed. He stopped in front of a bedroom and gestured for me to enter the open door. I did so and found Junha sitting up, staring at a blank TV. She glanced at me.

 

 

“Hello Sehun-ah,” she replied politely before returning her gaze to the black screen. 

 

 

I couldn’t be sure, but the mischievous spark that usually lit her eyes was gone. I turned back to the kid.

 

 

“Can we have some privacy?” I asked, shutting the door before he could respond.

 

 

I turned back to Junha, “Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

 

 

“Phone?” she asked as if I had spoken another language that she didn’t quite fully understand.

 

 

“Yeah, your phone,” I waved mine in front of her, “The device you are usually always on.”

 

 

She glanced about her room for a brief second, “its…Dead? I don’t know.”

 

 

She spoke the word dead like she was questioning its meaning. The way she spoke had me thinking there was something definitely wrong with this girl. Her voice was so monotone and the only infliction was when she seemed as if she wasn’t sure of the words she was using or hearing.

 

 

I sat on the bed in front of her, “Junha, are you okay?”

 

 

“I’m fine,” she replied, not taking her eyes off of the blankness in front of her.

 

 

“You don’t seem fine. What happened?” I took her hands in mine.

 

 

She shrugged, “JaeNi left. She went back home for good.”

 

 

“I’m sorry,” I replied as I landed a kiss on her forehead.

 

 

“Why?” she asked finally looking at me.

 

 

“Because I know you must be feeling hurt,” I answered, seriously concerned for her. 

 

 

“I’m not. I don’t feel…anything Sehun,” she looked at me quizzically.

 

 

“You know that’s not good right?” I asked her.

 

 

“Hmm…I suppose not,” and she returned her gaze to the TV.

 

 

I got up, deciding now wasn’t the time to bother her with my useless goals. Instead I went to her dresser and grabbed her bears. 

 

 

I placed one on either side of her, “Now here are Dae and Zim to keep you company,” I kissed her cheek, “We’ll discuss finding Lulu when you’re better.”

 

 

“Okay,” she replied, but I was sure she was no longer paying any attention to me.

 

 

“Let me know if you need me, Junnie,” I told her as I headed to the door. 

 

 

I walked out to find the deer kid, Luhan, stumbling as he rushed to lean against the wall. His face held surprise and was tinted a darker pink than earlier. I nodded to him as I left, grinning to myself. Poor kid was probably shocked if he had been eavesdropping like I suspected.

 

 

He probably thought I had a crush on Junha, or that I cared for her, not that one of them wasn’t the truth. No one seemed to realize how close we were. I’m damn sure no one knew what kind of relationship we shared. Except for Suho, that old man knew everything. But aside from him, no one had a clue. And that was the way I intended to keep it!

 

 

Thinking of Suho, I suddenly felt sorry for him. I knew what it was like to find someone you loved and then be ripped away by reasons beyond your control. I’d been in that situation a long time ago, though in my situation I had been the one to leave. 

 

 

I wondered what had caused JaeNi to leave. I could relate if she didn’t want to but had to. In that case why not explain to everyone the situation? I guess none of us would ever know. 

 

 

3rd POV

"Suho?" Onew ventured softly. 

 

 

Suho, who had been looking through the pictures on his phone, sighed without looking up. "Neh?"

 

 

"I was wondeering if you'd seen JaeNi. I have to give her the final draft of the song we were writing." He explained, digging in his bag for something.

 

 

Suho closed his eyes. Two days ago this wouldn't have happened. Two days ago JaeNi would've been there to collect it herself. "She went back to the states, Onew. I'm sorry."

 

 

The paper was set in front of Suho as Onew stood up. "Well, I have to go. Could you give it to her when she comes bsck? Thanks!" He exclaimed before leaving.

 

 

Suho propped his cheek in his palm. "I would if she were..." Placing his phone on the table, Suho looked at the paper and sighed again. He began to read the crisp white sheet, hearing Onew and her in his mind with every word:

 

 

Onew: Last night in my dreams, you drew close to me. You whispered words, your hair that brushed against my face...

 

 

JaeNi: When I woke up from my dream, it asl all too clear that your presence was nothing but a dream. The tears in my eyes told me.

 

 

Both: You cant, you can't, don't leave like this. Please, Just one more time, one more time, hold me in your arms again.

 

 

JaeNi: The next time I close my eyes to meet you, hold me as I stay still in that spot...

 

 

Suho felt tears stinging his eyes as he placed his hand over his face. Wasn't it ironic how well the song fit this moment? When had she wrote this? Who was she thinking of? "Do I really want to know?" He asked aloud.

 

 

"Yes, you do." A voice said before him. He looked up instantly and his eyes fell on someone he really was not in the mood to deal with. He growleed, "What do you want, Sehun?"

 

 

"Junha told me about the American." He said simply. 

 

 

"She has a name, you know."

 

 

Sehun smirked. "Appareently she had two." Why did Sehun know she changed her name? What relation to his business was it? Just the fact that Sehun knew this made Suho's blood boil.

 

 

"Is there a reason you're here?" 

 

 

The younger stood up, "Just wanted to know that your grade is safe. Tao and I complained to Heehul about you two this morning." Then Shun left.

 

 

He sat there for a moment, completely stunned. Is the world ending? Tao and Sehun helped him out? Tao, h was understandabl, but Sehun? What was that about? Wae?!

 

 

Suho folded the paper and put it in his pocket. She was gone and nothing he could do would change that... 

 

 

Besides. He had to get to class.

 

 

 

Kris's POV

Tao was at work. He'd asked me to wake him at six so that he could be there at seven. I offered to drive him, but he politely declined and insisted on walking. It'd been three days since that left without  a proper explanation and all of the natural aegyo Tao had once possess had slipped into depression with the rest of the boy's personality. 

 

 

I'd never been nice to JaeNi, I'll admit it. She was always with Tao, but she was so... bleh. I got to see all her sides -the ones she displayed with Tao, Junha and I still didn't like her. Tao defended her for every ill-spoken word I had. Now, I had one pure emotion that I connected with her name: Hatred.

 

 

I am in pain as I watched the three I've come to care for most slowly deteriorate. Junha doesn't even leave her room anymore. She won't see anyone aside from her brother, myself, Tao, and her boyfriend -but even then she doesn't talk to us like she used to. She just sighs and silently cries, rolling over to dismiss us. I saw Suho's behaviour change as well. He didn't eat much and for that I was worried. I'd cook as much as I could -often having to refer to Chanyeol or Baekhyun for help- but he just never seemed to need nourishment anymore. And with the zombie attitude, I'm amaed he hasn't started eating brains... But his grades have always been important to hhim so he's been very uptight about going to classes and taking very detailed notes. Unlike his sister, he seems to be... functionable -if that's a word.

 

 

But the hardest to watch, was Tao. He may have taken this the hardest. His aegyo was all gone and that stone personality he used to put on in front of crowds caved into a very tired teen. Had I not known him better, I'd have thought he was an insomniac with depression. From what I'd gotten know of his schedule, he was strict on himself about his sleeping pattern. He would never nap and would exercise daily. Now, whenever he got in from in his classes, he'd tet me and ask me to wake him before he goes and takes a nap. He slept until I woke him, in which he prepared for work. Finding his own way there and beack, he usually was pretty wrecked when he came home. When I actually asked him what time he got off, he replied with "It depends... Anywhere between mdnight and 2." I really don't like the thought of Tao walking back to campus in a busy city at 2 am.

 

 

Tonight was different, though. I was going to make sure of that. He was going to smile tonight whether his liked it or not. I recieved a text at 10 from him to tell me he was getting off early -he'd be home aorund 11 if I wanted to see him. Truthfully, I'd been in his dorm all day. Chen was staying somewhere else tonight -maybe with a girl or something? I'm not entirely sure. I had been here since I woke Tao at six and hung around with Chen until he left at 8:30, telling me to let myself out. Then I passed out on the couch until Tao texted me. 

 

 

I set the table with the nessecary eating utensils and containers. Typically, this wasn't something I would do, but all these down attitudes were getting to me and the last thing I needed was to be depressed. 

 

 

I did my best to cut the meat I found in Tao's fridge -beef maybe?- evenly. I dropped it in a pan with some seasoning and the vegatables I'd cut earlier. Next to that was a thing of rice being cooked. 

 

 

In a way, I guess this made me feel less guilty. I'd treated Tao badly in the past and had been pretty awkward since we got together except for a feew comfortable moments I recalled. Tao was understanding and forgiving, though. He didn't seem to mind that I was slightly shy about the way he would hold my hand occasionally, or that time he sat in my lap and I panicked. He's really patient... If he were me, I'd have given up on myself by now.

 

 

But Tao was different. 

 

 

And he needed to be reminded that there are other things in life other than a dirty American who basically killed the hearts of three people I care for.

 

 

Its been three days since the witch left. That's three days I haven't seen Tao smile or laugh. From the night the power went out to the night JaeNi came in crying were the most awkward and best days of my life. Tao, at first, would giggle at my uncomfortableness and kiss my chee or lean his head on my shoulder while we talked. At the time I did little more than tense, but I never thought how much I could miss those things.

 

 

At this point, as a boyfriend, I felt pretty worthless. It knowing  I couldn't make him happy when he needed it. 

 

 

So I was cooking him dinner in an attempt to see him smile. I poured drinks into our cups and scooped the rice -which didn't turn out horrid!- into our bowls before taking them to the table. Looking around, I checked the time.

 

 

Oh ! He'll be here any second!  I glanced about the kitchen and rushed to clean the mess I'd made. Then I remember the strown out papers Chen and I left in the living room from an earlier paperball war. I rushed around with the little waist in from said friend's room and collected the litter, rushing notebooks and bags to their respective locations in the process.

 

 

I sighed and looked around, ensuring the place was clean whne a strange odor plagued my nose. It smelled almost like... smoke?

 

 

Oh ! My food!

 

 

I rushed intot he kitchen and my eyes began to sting from the clouds of grey that tumbled along the ceiling. Nonononononono!

 

I coughed and went over to the fire in the pan. There was no time to find an over mitten,so I wrapped the lose end of my T-shirt around the haddle and moved the burning pan over to the sink.I heard something from the other side of the dor, but it was drown out by the sound of me dropping the cooking instruent into the sink and turning on the water, full blast. "!" I hisssed. Something from the pan popped out and burnt my arm.

 

 

Steam puffed up around me as I felt to hands on my arm, "Kris, are you alright?!"

 

 

I looked over to see Tao inspecting my arm. I looked down and nodded, calming myself. "Yeah... Just a little burn. I'm fine."He sighed and swatted away from of the smoke that had accumulated, "What happened? Why -what are you doing in here?" He asked, moving to turn off the stove. 

 

 

I reached over the sink and turned the knob to cut off the water. "I was trying to cook you dinner, but I left for a second and suddenly whoosh! Kitchen is on fire!" 

 

 

"You were making me dinner?" He asked in a soft voice. 

 

 

"Well, I was trying to!" I growled exasperatedly, looking at the ingrediants that had once been in the pan. I glanced back over at Tao and felt my heart beating faster. His lips curled into a small smile, "Kris gege," He leaned forward and hugged me, "Thank you."

 

 

"Well, I kind of failed so you can't really thank me." I replied, dropping my arms around him. 

 

 

He smiled wider, looking up at me. "Its the thought that makes me thankful. You tried it, and that was important." With that he gave me a small kiss to the cheek. I savored the moment before he pulled away and took off his scarf, moving to drape it over on eof the chairs at the table. "How was work?" 

 

 

He pushed the set up I'd made to the side and sat on the table. "I get three days off and the person I've been covering for comes back tomorrow so I can just relax for a while." He stretched his arms back and a small whine cleared his throat. "Its been a long time since I sat on my table. I was beginning to forget why I kept it." He announced randomly.

 

 

I watched as he lazily leaned back and sighed, his back popping in multiple places. "So you sit on the table often?" I asked. Well, that was unusual.

 

 

"Well... When JaeNi and I would spar and she would lose, she'd push me to sit on it. It was a long running joke between us, but then we both decided, this table is seriously comfortable." He explained, rolling his shoulder slightly. 

 

 

"Really now?" 

 

 

He jumped up and pulled my arm, "Yes! especially if you've been on your feet for a long time. Come here and try it!" 

 

 

I chuckled and put my hands up, "I'm not going to sit on your table, Tao."

 

 

He pouted and reached for my hand again. "Please gege?" I smiled as his aegyo seemed to return full blast. 

 

 

"But Kris, how will you ever know?" He asked, crossing his arms.I shooked my head, "I'll just jtake your word for it."

 

 

The next thing I knew, I was on the table, on my back, and Tao was straddling my legs. "I will not let you up until you admit that its comfrtable."

 

 

"What?" I sat up, "Tao, let me up."

 

 

He pushed me back down , "No!"

 

 

I glanced over and saw the bowls of rice he'd pushed to the side. Might as well eat while I'm at -er... on?- the table, right? Tao watched me quizically for a second, "what are you doing?"

 

 

"What does it look like?" I asked, reaching over for a pair of chopsticks as well. He pushed the eating utensils further away and took my newly obtained bowl of rice, pushing them further off to the side. "It looks like you're trying to ignore me." 

 

 

I raised a brow at him, "What if I am?"

 

 

"Kriss gege~" He hummed, leaning down to cross his arms on my chest. The panda on me rested his chin on his hands and wached. "Neh?"

 

 

"Thank you," He said softly, smiling. He left out a cute yawn and closed his eyes. 

 

 

I couldn't stop the laughter from escaping me as I put my arms around him. "Could you imagine inf someone walked in right now?" I sat up and held him tight so he wouldn't lose his balance.

 

 

He pushed his nose against my neck, "Mmmm... then I'd give them a good show." He announced tiredly. I rubbed his back with small circles, chuckling. "A show? I think its bed time for you, tao."

 

 

"Carry me," He huffed, his warm breath hitting my neck.

 

 

I looked at him in my arms, slll straddling my legs, arms now around my shoulders, and face burried in my neck. "Tao, you're a grown man. I'm not carrying you to bed!"

 

 

I felt his soft lips against my neck as he pressed a small kiss there, "Please?"

 

 

Sighing, I tightened my arms around him and moved to push myself up. He was lighter tthan I had expected. He easily wrapped his legs around me ad I moved my hands to his thighs for bettter support as I carried him to his bed., Was I really doing this? I was Kris, Mr. Dragon Temper... Not a panda sitter. What's gotten into me?

 

 

He yawned again and I set him on the bed. I smiled and he snuggled down into his pillows comfortably. Right... This was for Tao. He reached over and pulled me to sit down beside him as he kisssed my knuckles. "Its later, gege."

 

 

I nodded and leaned over to claim his lips for a moment. Kissing was a novelty I didn't want to give up again, not if it meant not feeling Tao's lips against mine again. He put his hand on my neck and titled his head as I along his bottom lip. He was willing to give me access to his mouth and I didn't wait to explore. Coaxing his tongue to play, he sighed and I closed my eyes. All the emotion was getting to me as Tao pulled me closer, forcing his mouth against mine. 

 

 

I pulled back a little and looked at his face, dusted with fresh pink heat as he opened his eyes. "I'm sorry."

 

 

I raised a brow, "Why?"

 

 

"I... I don't mean to force you where you aren't comfortable. I'm sory for being selfish."

 

 

I smiled and kissed hismouth again, hoping to get my message across, "You can't force me into anything."  He leaned back into his pillows. "Its late." he repeated.

 

 

"Trying to get me to take a hing?" I chuckled.

 

 

"Of course not! But i don't want to fall asleep and disappoint you." He whispered, picking something off his pillow case.

 

 

I rolled my eyes, "Scoot over."

 

 

"Excuse me?" He asked, looking suprised that I'd asked so bluntly.

 

 

"Scoot over and let me ly down. I'm tired too, you know." I lied, but it wasn't hard to force myself to sleep when I need to. He nodded and did as I asked, reaching down and pulling the blanket over his body. I settled next to him, not bothering with the blanket and was rewarded when he came to rest his head on my arm. I smiled and messed up his hair, "I hope you get much needed rest in your vacation time from work."

 

 

He nodded, "Thank you, Yifan. For everything. I'll try to cheer up and be happier, alright? Afterall, I do have a reason..." I felt his hair tickling my cheek as he curled into my chest and I moved my other arm to wrap around his waist.

 

 

"Goodnight, Tao."