Confessions
What is History?
(3rd person POV)
The two sat on the couch, relaxing. Tao had his legs crossed and his spine strait with his hands in his lap. Even though he and Kris had become ever so slightly closer -to a mutual tolerance- Tao still made sure to keep his distance. Kris had his feet kicked up on the cofee table lazily, obviously not caring about Tao's presence.
"I can't stand movies like this." Tao said suddenly, "They're too cheesy."
Kris's brow raised, "Then why are we watching it?"
The panda shrugged and looked at his phone, "You're the one with the remote. I thought you wanted to."
Shaking his head, Kris looked back ot see the main character, a married woman, kissing her boss. His face scrunched in disgust. "I can't stand cheaters."
"Agreed. If you aren't serious enough to be faithgul, be serious enough to stay single." Tao concurred. He placed his phone back on the arm of the sofa. It was then that he noticed Kris looking at him. "...What Do I have something on my face?"
"No... But, theoretically speaking, if your girlfriend was cheating on you, you'd want someone to tell you... right?" He asked, turning to put his arm on the back of the couch.
Tao was slightly confused, but he nodded nonethelesss, "Of course."
"Well," Kris looked dead into his eyes, scaring the younger slightly. "JaeNi's with Suho."
Even more confused, Tao nodded, "Yeah... Did you just figure that out?"
"No, I was just -wait. Why are you so calm about this?" Kris asked, brows knitted together . Apparently confusion was contagious. "Should I be upset?"
"Well, I would be if my girlfriend were cheating on me."
The younger fell into laughter.
Kris's confusion deepened. What the hell? "What is it?!" He growled, not liking the feeling of being laughed at.
His expression lightened and he giggled, "JaeNi and I aren't dating, Kris."
The dragon's face became embarassed. "Oh... I just- I... Sorry."
"Its fine. For some reason, everyone thinks we are, but I'm... waiting for someone else." Tao said. He fanned himself slightly. What was with the sudden humidity?
Kris leaned back, dragging his eyes back to the TV. "Oh... So what does she look like? If it is ok for me to ask."
Tao's face flushed a little. "Theyr'e tall."
"And?" Kris asked, leaning over to grab his bottle of water from the table.
"Well... They have yellow hair." He continued, struggling with each word.
Kris's brow rose, "Is she Asian? A foreigner?"
He nodded, "Chinese."
The older seemed interested as he looked at the other, "Who?"
His throat went very dry as he twiddled his thumbs, "Well... its... uhm... you, Kris."
3rd person POV
Junha was walking to her brothers' dorm, her cell phone in her hand. She had just gotten off the phone with Kris. He didn't sound like himself and she was a bit worried about him.
{*A few minutes ago:*}
"I'm bored" Junha muttered to no one in particular. She was bored, even if she were surrounded by people. She was at the picnic tables on campus with a few of what she called fans. All they were doing was talking about how great she was, all flattering her just to have a date with her.
She smiled politely at them and her charms to act like she was paying attention. She honestly didn't care about what they were saying, hell she didn't even know many of their names.
What was on her mind had nothing to do with them! Her thoughts were on three people at that moment: her brother, her best friend, and the stuck up jerk who she had been stalking and was currently avoiding her. She stood up suddenly. 'I have no time for this stuff,' she thought. "What's wrong Noona?" Ilhoon asked her.
She looked down at the only admirer in the group she knew. He really wasn't a true admirer, more like her protector that had adopted her. He was always around in these groups to watch out for her.
She smiled genuinely at him. It was the first thing he had said during the session. " Its nothing Ilhoon. I just remembered I have to meet Kris. Bye guys." She waved as she walked off, Ilhoon shuffling the other boys off.
She took out her phone and called the guy she used as an excuse to get away. "Gege!" she said as soon as he answered. "Ah, Junha," he responded a little distantly, as if he weren't fully paying attention. "I'm bored. Can you come with me to the cafe?" She asked. "Uh-huh. That's great Junha," he said. She was slightly confused, "Yah! Gege, I asked if you would go with me to the cafe." He didn't reply for a minute, "Yeah, sure, have fun with JaeNi at the movies." She removed the phone from her ear to look at it. He knew she wasn't really speaking to her best friend. Hell, he knew she was practically avoiding JaeNi and Suho. "Yah! You're not listening to me are you Pabo! Fine! I don't want to hang out with you today anyway," she said thinking that would get his attention. "Alright. I'll talk to later Junha," he replied and then hung up.
She paused to stare at her phone quizzically. Something was wrong with her Gege. He usually called her meimei, but he didn't even say it once just now. He didn't even realize he had said JaeNi's name. He only ever called her 'your friend' or something similar to that. Never by her name, though. She was suddenly concerned for her brother.
{*Present*}
When she reached Suho's dorm she paused. What if Suho was in there? What if JaeNi was? What if they were in there together? She realized she didn't want to take the chance of that and backtracked.
She decided to go to Chen's room. He was Kris' best friend, so she figured he would have also noticed if he had been acting strange. She got to the room and knocked on the door.
It was opened by a guy she recognized. He was of medium height, brown hair swept to the side. She squealed at the sight of him, "Key oppa!" He grinned and gave her a hug before letting her in.
"What are you doing here Junha?" he asked going to sit on the couch with Tao. She waved to Tao as she answered Key's question, "I stopped by to see if Chen was around. I'm worried about Gege and thought that Chen might have also noticed if he had been acting strange." She noticed Tao's cheeks flush a bit. She filed that away to ask about at another time. Key pointed toward Chen's room, "He's in there. He went in a few minutes ago. He said something about working on a song." I nodded my thanks, "By the way, how is Jonghyun oppa?"
"Planning his proposal from what Onew Hyung told me," he said with a huge grin. "Jjinjah? You're finally going to marry him?" she asked excitedly. Key just nodded and waved a hand for her to go speak to Chen. She nodded, realizing she must have interrupted a private conversation. She knocked on Chen's door and waited for him to give her the okay to enter.
“What can I do for you Junha?” he asked sitting back at his desk. “Have you seen or talked to Kris today?” she asked sitting on Chen’s bed. He nodded. “Was he acting strange?” she wanted to know. Chen stopped typing and turned to look at her, “Yeah. I went to see if he wanted to work on the song he was helping me with. But he wasn’t really paying attention and kept spacing out. It’s like he has something else on his mind.”
She pulled at her bottom lip while thinking. What could Kris be going through? His natural disposition was to ignore everything that bothered him. That’s why he was almost always seemed mad at the world. He didn’t have anyone he felt he could lean on. When he wasn’t holding things in he was actually pretty happy-go-lucky.
“Has anything significant happened to him in the last day?” she asked. Chen shook his head, “If so he hasn’t told me. I wouldn’t worry too much Junha; he’ll be back to himself in a few days. You know it doesn’t take long for him to figure things out and then decide to act on his decisions.” She nodded, still slightly worried about Kris.
Though Chen had tried to soothe her worries, he couldn’t help worry himself. His best friend had never acted this way. He usually filed everything in the back of his mind to contemplate when he was alone. For as long as Chen could remember Kris had always put himself on hold for his friends. Anytime any of them needed him, he was there. It didn’t matter if it was a small thing or large, Kris was there. It was just who he was, but now something was off about him and no one knew what.
Chen made a decision in that moment. “If he isn’t back to normal tomorrow we will go talk to him. Does that make you feel better?” he told her. She grinned and nodded, “By the way, when you’re done with your song, can I listen? I heard Little Prince is helping.” He smiled at her, “Yeah, Luhan has been a big help. And maybe you can listen when I find someone to sing it. I have to complete it first.” She gave a sharp nod and raised her first two fingers to her forehead. “Yes sir,” she called as she saluted him and stood up. Chen shook his head as the crazy girl left his room. She waved to Tao and Key as she left, headed to go find Kai.
(Sehun's POV)
God I love Fridays. My step is just sorta light and my heads all cleared. It makes me almost feel like smiling... Almost.
I came into the room and dropped my bag next to Tao. He looked... Not good.
His expression was basically stone. I mean, he usually looked indifferent, uncaring. At this point he simply looked... empty. It was more or less disturbing. I was in such a good mood for once and he was like this? I decided to play the good dongsaeng role. "Hyung, are you ok?"
He turned to face me and I could see the slight pink under his eyes. "I'm fine." He muttered, dropping his gaze to the desk. His posture wasn't even right! Tao has this posture, this behaviour that you can instantly tell who he is without seeing his face. Right now, I could've mistaken him for an alien imposter!
Well, a stone heart speaks the truth, no matter how painful while a broken one leaks lies. He was not "Fine", and I don't know who the Hell he thought he was foolin' with that statement because it sure wasn't me. He was so stiff. Normally I'd leave someone alone at this point.
But this was Tao. He barely spoke and had like a total of three friends that he held dear to him. Even I had a time when I needed someone to talk to. "Hyung, tell me the truth." I said softly, trying to get him to open up. I felt more akward then I would ever let on. I'm Sehun! He sighed shakily. At this point, our professor came in, once again apologizing for his tardiness and began the lesson.
I took out a spiral bound notebook, flipped to a blank page somewhere in the middle, and scribbled out my message.
Tao hyung, I want you to know that you can trust me if you ever ned to talk. I'm wiling to listen -or read as it is right now.
I pushed it across the table until it hit his hand, never taking my eyes off the notes the professor was putting on the board.
He looked at it and then at me. I gave hima quick smile. He picked up my pencil and scribbled his response. I saw him biting his lips before pushing it over to me.
I'm very nervous about something I did.
Nervous? What did he have to be nervous about? I'd seen this guy do his martial arts. I'm sure he could kick anyone's !
What happened? You can tell me anything. I promise it'll just be between us.
I shoved the paper away. He took his time and I drummed my fingers against my leg. It was actually my phone that I was tapping and it was in my pocket. I could just see it now, that embarassing moment when it goes off with a message from one of my friends because my actions were causing a text message of jibberish to form. I decided to stop my drumming, sitting as stil as possible for me -not very still.
I confessed my feelings to someone and I've liked them for a while. They are currently thinking it over. I'm very nervous.
I read this and felt a sense of achievement somewhere in my chest. Tao trusted me enough to tell me this. I nodded and wrote back.
I bet its nerve-wracking.
He nodded and pushed back the notebook.
Ever been there?
I thought for a moment, actually pondering if I had ever been in his position. In truth, I hadn't. I had confessed my feelings, prayed they'd been returned, and taken off before, but that was the closest thing I'd ever done to this.
No. I'm prossessive. If I want something, I take it and don't give people the chance to disagree.
He slipped his hand over and took the notebook. He read it and I heard him give a slight sigh. Seriously, I pitied this kid. Well... He was slightly older. Was it wrong for me to call him a kid? Whatever, I pitied him. It must be torture to just wait on a reply that could go either way.
I wish I could be like that. I don't think I'll handle it well if he rejects me.
I read over that three times. I looked over at Tao. His head was bowed and his lip was trapped between his teeth. 'If he rejects me'. Tao just... confessed to me that he was gay. I stared at him for a second, simply to take that in.
WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! I blinked at the paper before formulating an intelligable response.
He? Tao, are you gay?
I pushed it over to him and heard a sound -almost like a whimper. His hands were shaking now as he took the pencil. I could hear the paper rattling beneath his hands. A few students had started to look our way. If the professor asked me to read this outloud, I would ing faint.
Quickly I snatched the notebook and glanced at it as I grabbed his hand.
Please don't think less of me. I ju-
He gasped and shook. For a second I swear I thought I saw tears hitting his lap before he leaned forward and silently put his head down on the table. I realized that it probably looked like I was going to be mean since I snatched the paper away like I did, but scaring him wasn't my intention at all.
I just didn't want to get caught. I wanted him to calm down then to let him know I didn't care if he were a pancake wearing lesbian with a flying pet seal -he was still himself... Well, if he were a lesbian he was obviously not a he, but that's beside the point!
I looked around and sent glares to the few people watching us. Most of them turned away immediately. I tore out a page from my notebook and wrote quickly.
Its ok. I don't care that you're gay. I just saw how badly you were shaking and didn't want to draw attention to us. I'm sorry if I scared you.
I tapped his arm, but he didn't move. I folded the paper into fourths and wrote "I'M SORRY" on the exspanse of the little page before shoving it under his arm and hopefully directly into his nose so he'd be inclined to look at it.
I covered my face with my hands and sighed. Well... There went my mood.
Tao trusted me, I scared him, I'm now being ignored by him. There aren't many people I don't wish to punch in the face everytime they speak more than six sentences to me. Tao was one of those people and now he was probably going to avoid me like I was a satanic cult leader in a catholic school. I'd have to talk to him after the class.
I tried paying attention, maybe then the class period would be over faster. But God it was so boring! So I just let my thoughts drift.
I glanced over at Tao and realized he hadn't moved an inch. Great. That'd be two people who'd be avoiding me. At least I'd know why if he decided to. I was so annoyed that I hadn't done much to the other person, but they were avoiding me too. Puffing out my cheks, I crossed my arms and stared into space.
I didn't hear our dismissal, I just saw people grabbing their bags and exiting -which included our dear professor. I really hated how he could just be late and leave so soon. What if I had a question? Psh, I never paid enough attention to have a question, who was I kidding? I was really suprized by my ability to zone out these days. It seemed I was getting better at it.
I looked over at Tao, who still hadn't ing moved. I tapped him lightly. "Tao, look I-" He didn't move, but I heard something. Light breathing and... snoring?
This mother er was asleep.
I shook his shoulder, "Tao, wake your up."
He groaned and leaned back, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Ok, this guy was a master of aegyo. How the Hell he managed to make yawning cute was beyond me, but he did it. He stretched a little. "Tao?" I ventured.
He looked up and I saw him flinch a little. "Y-yes, Sehun?"
"I don't care if you're gay. You were shaking and attracting attention to us. Were you really that scared?" He looked down and took my note in his hands, nodding.
I nodded and he stood, bowing a bit, "Thank you, Sehun."
Puzzled, I asked, "For what?"
"Well," He grabbed his bag and we exited the room, "I've seen how Xiumin, Lay, and Kyungso treat Baekhyun and Chanyeol. You aren't treating me that way, so I thank you."
I guess that was true. I didn't mind that Bacon Diva and Crackyeol were a couple. I mean, whatever makes you happy, right? The diva just needed an attitude adjustment. I treat them the same way I treat the singer and Xiumin when he gets on my nerves.
I smiled, "I'm your dongsaeng, Tao. I'd be wrong to hate you for what makes you happy." I hoped that his shyness right now would be dropped if I was friendly. I shrugged, deciding that the smile probably creeped him out a litle, "Besides, I'm pretty sure you could kick my ."
He shook his head, "Wushu is for self defense and inner peace. I don't fight without reason." We made it outside and I slid my hands into my pockets. The sunshine felt nice on my face. I hadn't realized how cold the building was.
"Well, hyung, you know if you ever need anything, my dorm is always just a walk away." He bowed politely. It was true though. Tao didn't get on my nerves, and I doubt it was ever going to be an inconvenience. I'd probably listen if he ever needed me to.
He gave a small smile, "Thank you again, Sehun."
I nodded and suddenly a mop of blondish hair caught my attention. "No problem, but I gotta run. Text if you need anything!" I darted off in pursuit.
"Alright," He called after me. I grabbed the shoulder of the moron that was avoiding me. He tossed a glare over his shoulder and started to jog off.
"Wait!" I called, running after him. Ok, so he wasn't jogging, he was sprinting. It was kinda hard to keep up with. "I need to talk to you!" I shouted.
He kept going even when I stopped for breath. He was like a ing deer! He rounded the corner and disappeared into the crowd.
Damnit Luhan, why are you so ing stuborn?
Hi guys! I, Panda, have returned from my trip -actually I returned last Sunday so unfortunately I missed your update- and am here to present this chapter! Minji and I work hard to make your updates pretty consistant, but the offer still stands: If we can get a few more comments and/or subscribers, a double update will be the reward! :)
We hope you guys like our story and have many questions that will all be answered as the story continues! Hope this isn't disappointing!
-Minji and Panda
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