The worry, the uncertainty apparent on Namjoo’s face a few seconds ago immediately dispersed. Her eyes widened some more and they dug even deeper into his face, as if searching for the very core of his existence.

Tao gulped afraid because he knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“I…” Tao gulped again.

He was nervous. Unable to look at her any further he took two long strides forward and pulled into his chest.

“Let me…I’ll be the father. I can do it. I’ll help you raise the baby,” Tao rushed the words as his heart raced inside his chest. “So don’t tell him. Please don’t tell him.”

“You should go.” Her muffled voice rose up to his ears.

A flux of emotions splashed throughout him and he hugged her tighter.

“No, promise me…you have to promise me. Namjoo I…I came to you first. Don’t go to him. I’ll help you raise the baby. I promise I’ll be good to you.”

And when he dug his fingers into her arms he knew he was hugging her in order to comfort himself.

~_____~

Suho sat unbelievably still in his chair with his eyes roaming off the red walls and the portraits of a king on his throne or a dog at the beach. There was the clanking of utensils against plates and soft chatter emanating off the walls, but that sounded so very far away. The appetite he’d earlier had was nowhere to be found. Instead, a rush of anxiety swam inside his stomach and he felt sick.

Turning to his right was like asking for immediate punishment in the army. Chorong was very quietly responding to Lay’s questions. She sat right next to Kris, who was seated in front of him. Lay had somehow been waiting for Suho to take the seat in front of Chorong, but Suho had luckily escaped when Kris started a conversation.

Now…now he just wanted to become the carpet on the ground. He hated uncomfortable atmospheres.

Suho didn’t recall that liking someone brought with it so much discomfort. The last time he’d had a crush…belonged to his very vague memory. Was it junior high or his very early years of high school?

He couldn’t remember.

For a long time now he’d had no time for love life affairs. His free time wasn’t very much after entering the combat field. Lives, Suho always thought, were more important than himself. His only job was to save lives and that was it. Love hadn’t been in the picture. Acquaintances and good friends made up for that and he was simply happy enough from that.

Suho was grateful for everyone, but finding someone to love hadn’t been part of that grateful life.

“You’re not hungry?”

Suho’s head shot up so fast that he wasn’t sure who’d asked the question. His eyes first landed on Chorong before averting his eyes so quick he didn’t know who else to look at. Suho raised his hand to grab his utensils, but instead hit the fork jutting out the edge of the table and listened to it clatter onto the ground. in just a few mere seconds his heart was stampeding within his chest.

The soft chatter and the clanking of utensils against plates could no longer be heard.

Quickly bending his body to the side he reached for the fork and quickly placed it on the table. He was suddenly hot and felt himself sweat.

“Are you ok?” Lay questioned.

“Yea…of course…yes.” Suho nodded his head furiously and even took to adding an awkward laugh.

“What are you thinking about?” Kris questioned then gestured his chin toward Suho’s plate. “You haven’t touched your food.”

Suho’s eyes landed on his now cold plate and realized it had been Kris who’d asked the question earlier.

“Are you thinking about tomorrow’s job?” Lay wondered.

Suho searched his thoughts for some sort of answer, but found nothing; only a soaring emptiness of jumbled thoughts he was unable to sort out.

“I’m going to the restroom,” Chorong spoke up and quietly left the table.

When her footsteps faded away Suho finally looked up. He didn’t know how to talk to her or what to say and he felt bad for being a coward.

~_____~

Chorong felt bad for coming out.

Did Suho have to make it so obvious that being around her was uncomfortable?

It hurt…

She wanted to resent the fact that she had to see him even at work, but she also really wanted to look at him from afar. Chorong didn’t just like him. She envied and admired him. In the face of danger even if he wasn’t confident he always faced it head on bravely.

That was what real courage was and he always showed it when she couldn’t.

Chorong really liked him because he was an eye opener and inspiration to her. So even if Suho wanted to treat her like a speck of dust, she still really looked up to him.

She really hated this situation…

~_____~

Damn Victoria. She was almost impossible to predict now. Donghae didn’t know what she was after or what she knew now. Everything was even more complicated. He almost resented how he had to keep looking after her.

It was…such a headache.

Congested by his thoughts he found it impossible to eat in peace outside. He’d rather have Victoria under his surveillance, but she’d rejected his offer for lunch. Defeated he drove back home and found the door unlocked. At first he was alarmed.

The apartment was empty. At least that was what he thought before he found Tao surfing the computer in his room. Finally relaxing with a sigh of relief Donghae fully pushed his door open and eyed Tao, who was too absorbed with the computer that he hadn’t heard him.

“What are you doing?” Donghae broke the silence.

Tao quickly turned to glance at him before swiveling back around. His hand was still on the mouse and his eyes back on the screen.

“Personal research,” Tao replied.

“What are you looking up?” Donghae stepped forward, but Tao immediately closed the screen.

Donghae thought he heard Tao sigh an annoyed sigh. Tao was still such a child.

“You know I can bring up the search history.” Donghae pointed out.

In the end Tao quickly opened the browser in an attempt to clear the history, but Donghae’s eyes were trained and fast.

Grabbing Tao’s hand to stop the cursor from moving, Donghae questioned, “Did you get someone pregnant Tao?”

Forcefully pulling his hand out Tao said angrily, “I was just curious.”

Donghae let it slide and watched Tao clear the history on his browser. “So why are you looking it up? Did you and Namjoo…”

“No!” Tao shouted so loudly Donghae was stunned for a few seconds.

Once the history was cleared Tao got up.

“So what if I saw some pregnant lady on the street. I was just curious! Do you think she has time to do that crap?!” Donghae saw a glare shoot at him from Tao’s narrow slits.

Brushing by with wind sweeping past Donghae listened to the door slam a few seconds later.

~_____~

The reason why Namjoo always looked tired recently was all that jerk’s fault. Just thinking about it made Tao’s blood boil.

What the hell had Kris done to deserve her?!

Tao kicked at an empty noodle cup sitting on the side of the street and continued walking on. All he could think about was flinging his fist into Kris’ face. No words would describe the emotions flinging through him.

He didn’t want to believe that Namjoo would be on Kris’ side. He didn’t want to believe that his most beloved person had actually spent a night with someone else. He didn’t want to know how irresponsible she had been.

Tao…didn’t want the baby to be someone else’s.

Why…

He wanted Namjoo. He wanted to be good for her and he wanted to do so much more for her. If she told Kris he’d whisk her away without hesitation. Tao wouldn’t stand to see it.

Namjoo should be his. He would take care of her baby, he’d be a good dad, he’d be good to her for all eternity if he could just have her and nothing else would matter. If Namjoo gave him the chance he could show her he could do just as well as anyone else.

~_____~

Namjoo wasn’t sure she had solved anything. For a while, after Tao left, she just sat at the kitchen table lost in thought.

She knew she still owed Donghae. No matter what she always kept her promises. When he’d asked her to take Tao under her care and guide him she had already given him her word. If she betrayed Tao now she’d be betraying Donghae as well.

Tao, she knew, was only good because of her. She couldn’t trust that he’d keep his words to continue doing good if she walked off and got married. But it wasn’t just Tao. Namjoo as well didn’t want marriage.

Being tied down wasn’t her thing. Namjoo didn’t want rules or to be told what to do and not to do. Namjoo liked the sense of being alone, even if loneliness was sometimes overpowering. She didn’t want to feel owned. She just wanted to be by herself.

Namjoo didn’t think she wanted to have this baby. This innocent life shouldn’t be growing inside someone like her. Namjoo didn’t know how to be a mom nor did she know what a mother was like anymore. No matter what, she wouldn’t be able to care for this child. Her life wasn’t fit for a family or a baby in that sense. She still wanted to go out into the battlefield, she still wanted to carry weapons and carry out tasks. She still wanted to work alongside Suho and Donghae, because how could she leave them?

She really didn’t want to be tied down, but this thing inside her hadn’t done anything sinful. Could she really take away a life that hadn’t done anything wrong?

What was she going to do?

The night air was cool and a little on the chilly side. While nearing the restaurant the sparkles of the evening lights became brighter from the corner of her eyes. No stars had come out overhead. Namjoo was left with the evening lights that had become sparkles, the dark night sky, and the man waiting for her outside the restaurant.

Namjoo slowly stopped in her steps to watch him before looking away. She was already half an hour past their meeting time. Why had she bothered to come anyway? Was it because she could still hear the excitement in his voice that morning? Or was it because that happiness she’d seen in his face wouldn’t subside from her memory?

Namjoo really didn’t know.

After a second she gathered herself and quietly walked forward. Kris finally looked up upon her soft footsteps and smiled, elated. All of a sudden Namjoo felt her world drown out and she felt apologetic. In that instant she knew she didn’t want to talk with him, but she wanted a hug.

Lightly grasping onto his shoulders she slightly tip-toed and snuggled her face into his shirt.

“Is this your way of apologizing when you’re late?” She heard him ask. After a second he added, “I’m going to hug you too.”

His hands met with her back drawing her closer to him. She felt his face move into her hair and closed her eyes. Through the silence she wanted to tell him she was sorry. She was sorry he might never know about the baby. She was sorry that she’d never want to see him again after they found Eunhyuk.

“Your hair smells nice.”

And she was sorry that she liked him and hated him at the same time.

~_____~

Victoria watched Yoona slide a picture over, “The loansharks said Jae was last seen here. That was about a couple weeks ago.”

They were in her apartment. Victoria had just eaten a simpe-to-digest dinner and was just now sitting down to rest. The wound from the gunshot had turned a sickly purple, but didn’t things always get worst before they got better?

“That’s pretty recent.” Victoria commented then picked the picture up, running her eyes over the buildings and the street caught in the frame.

“They said they were paid in full by him, but there are still some occurring debts that need to be paid off,” Yoona explained.

Victoria felt her heart jump, “This is in Yeongwol.”

“What? How would you know?” Yoona leaned forward.

“I recognize this area while running after Eunhyuk that night,” Victoria recalled. “But this isn’t the brothel…”

“What about the brothel?”

Victoria shook her head, “They said he was last seen here?”

Yoona nodded.

“How many loansharks have you met with?” Victoria asked.

“Two or three groups of them,” Yoona answered. “There’s much more on the list.”

“That’s going to be difficult.” Victoria bit her lower lip.

“Why? Aren’t you dispatching the groups tomorrow?”

“Only four of them. One of them is from Donghae’s team. I’m not sure I can trust him.”

“Why do you think he would work against you?” Yoona asked. “I’m sure that even if they work under Donghae, they’re not like him.”

“But he’s still under Donghae,” Victoria gritted her teeth. “If he hears about any of this, he’ll report back to Donghae.”

“You haven’t talked to him yet?” Yoona frowned.

“Every time I see his face I just want to make him angry.”

“That’s childish Victoria.”

“He started it so he’s going to finish it.” Victoria seemingly glared at the wall and turned to Yoona. “Do you really have to return tomorrow?”

“The Chief will become suspicious if he finds out that I’m running favors for you.”

Biting her lower lip she nodded, “Fine. I’ll think up of something.”

“Victoria,” Yoona said, “I think what’s most important right now, is breaking up that human trafficking ring. If you and Donghae still want to fight it out, do it after you bring those girls home. If you break up the trafficking ring, you’ll get Hyukjae in the end anyway. Fighting right now will only put those girls in more danger.”

Yoona stood up and grabbed her bag.

“Call me if you need anything. Don’t do anything dangerous until your wound is fully healed.”

Victoria listened to the door closed and stared at the street in the picture. Was Hyukjae linked to Wonju or Yeongwol? Did the brothel really have anything to do with this? Why…had she last seen Eunhyuk there?

If only she found out what the money had been used for everything would be easier.

~_____~

“Where were you?” Donghae questioned when Tao walked in. “Dinner’s ready. If you haven’t eaten yet, come eat.”

There was this gloomy, yet upset expression on Tao’s face. Donghae thought he looked like he was going through those horrible prebuscent teenage years, but Tao was too old for that.

Tao pulled the seat across from him out and slumped down while Donghae fetched another plate for him.

“Did your parents love you a lot?” Tao started.

Donghae was surprised by the suddenly random question, “Of course. What parents don’t love their child?”

“My parents often spoke about how much they hated me,” Tao told as his eyes drifted off the tabletop. “And they hit me when they were drunk. They even locked me in the closet.”

Sympathy filled Donghae up.

“Would I…become like them? If I have a family, would I end up hitting my son or daughter?”